I realize for some reason I keep calling Taker and Kane "Taker and Kane" and "Mark and Glen". I don't know which one to stick with lol. I guess they're both…sometimes in musi world they're their gimmicks and sometimes they're themselves so I guess it doesn't matter. Maybe I'm thinking to hard, it's just a silly fic. Anyway…thank you for your reviews: Darkaneanite, MagZ86, takers dark lover, shinigami sakura2000, Animal Luvr 4 Life, Esha Napoleon, and Mayhem.
Death to Het
Chapter 8: Finally Rescued…Sort Of
Slash musi stormed the ruined remains of the het Hardy home. Jericho and Matt worked on getting Morrison out of his chains and cuffs and Shawn dragged slash Miz out of the house by his ear, berating him as Miz whined about losing his fedora somewhere.
Glen and Mark found het Matt unconscious, his face smeared with blood and debris from the explosion, an angry band of purple and black around his neck from where Miz had repeatedly choked him. Kane hoisted the older Hardy up by his armpits and tossed him over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and ascended the stairs with him. Meanwhile Taker searched for Jeff, and Kofi and Punk took het Miz and Morrison who were too dazed to fight back.
Hunter ran from corner to corner tossing things here and there frantically looking for any trace of Hornswoggle. He was sure Finlay would find him and severely torture him for destroying his son. Hunter overturned a mattress that was in the Hardy's basement and yelped when a large hand fell on his shoulder. He spun around to see Mark with his stern eyes on him.
"What!" Hunter whined. "Did you find Horny?"
Mark tilted his head from side to side in the negative.
"You're forgetting Hunter."
"Forgetting?" Hunter asked blinking up at the dark man. "What?"
"We can't die remember...you stabbed me."
Hunter smiled remembering the priceless moment, but after a moment his smile fell back to a frown.
"That was different. How do we know we could survive being blown into a bunch of ragged, bloody, pieces of flesh?"
"Well…" Taker thought about it. "I suppose—hey what—Hunter!"
Mark tried to get away from Hunter who had strapped something around his waist.
"Hunter what the fu--"
"Let's find out!" Hunter pulled a detonator from his pocket, his eyes sparkled manically.
"You son of a mother fu--" Mark lunged at Hunter but Hunter ducked behind the upturned mattress and pressed the button. Screams echoed through the basement at the explosion and bloody pieces and parts rained down. Jericho was knocked unconscious by the Undertakers gory boot.
"What in the goddern name of--" JBL stormed over to Hunter. "Ya'll better have another one of them to blow yerself to hell, because when Glen finds out what y'did to Taker he's gonna go all kindsa apeshit!"
Hunter bolted with a shriek up the stairs as pieces of Taker started to find each other, his hand walking on its fingers across the cement floor to find a few ribs, his boot lopping over to those three, joined soon by half of his face and an ass cheek. It was like watching some absurd sci-fi or horror flick.
Everyone else filtered out of the house and back onto the lawn. On the way out of the basement slash Jeff stepped on a severed finger and with a grimace tossed it into the general direction of Marks reassembling body.
"He's going to be really grumpy when he gets back together." Jeff mumbled under his breath as he fled the scene.
Most of the slash musi returned home, their rescue mission finally completed. Hunter was missing, on the run from both Finlay and Mark, if indeed if Mark did reassemble back to his normal self he would probably send Hunter to hell, or worse if possible.
Shawn dragged Miz home by the ear and Morrison was close behind, dragging his feet, his head slumped down like a dog with his tail between his legs. His face was only left with a few lingering scars from het Jeff's butcher job, his wrists were still a little sore from the cuffs, but he was sure Shawn had something equally as devious in mind. The older man had done nothing but rant and rave at them the whole way back to his house. Morrison couldn't quite bring himself to be annoyed at Miz anymore for getting them into this whole situation, after all, Miz had tried really hard to save John and spur him on when he wanted to give up.
When the three of them got back to Shawn's house Kane was already there. He had Matt locked in closet and he was still unconscious. The big bald man sat in the middle of the floor scribbling into a notebook, his lips parting in a joyous smirk as his mind spun ideas for what he could do to het Matt in order to get rid of him. Shawn passed him and left him to his own devices and dragged Miz and Morrison downstairs.
"What were you thinking!" Shawn barked as he tossed Miz down the stairs. Morrison cowered behind him and Shawn urged him forward with a small shove that caused him to stumble the rest of the way down the steps.
"I wasn't thinking Shawn please don't hurt me!" Miz wailed. "There was a bush, and a bee, and stinging, and our het selves!" He babbled pawing at Shawn's feet.
"We'll see." Shawn barked with a chuckle. He pointed to the couch and dutifully the two offenders sat, gazing up at him with sad, puppy eyes. "For now this will do." Shawn turned to a radio and pressed a button which opened a CD tray. He picked up a case form beside it and slid something in. He cranked the volume as loud as it would go and then ran up the stairs right before Jillian's voice shrilled from the speakers like the loudest case of nails on a chalk board ever. Slash Miz and Morrison screamed, but they just sounded like they were singing along.
"So, now that that's taken care of." Shawn sat down next to Glen and the big man held up the plans proudly, laughing lowly and eerie as Shawn's smile grew wider and wider. "This is a great plan." Shawn clapped Glen on the back.
"I remembered our Matt saying how he was afraid of pirates breaking into his house. I figured het Matty is too. There's one way to find out." Kane rubbed his hands together in anticipation and left Shawn with the notebook. "Where would I buy pirate accessories?"
"Try Wal-Maaaaart." Shawn suggested and pushed a few papers around on his coffee table until he found a glossy page. He tossed the coupons in Glen's lap.
"Wal-Maaaaart, 40% off of fake beards, 50% off of hooks, peg-legs, and patches. Wow, parrots buy one get one free. I wonder if they talk already or if you have to train them?" Glen shrugged and pocketed the coupons. He would have to get Mark to go with him to pick out some things. He furrowed his brow, realizing he hadn't seen Mark come out of the Hardy's basement. With a shrug he left, deciding not to waste time and just go to Wal-Maaaaart on his own.
"Aaaaaaar welcome to Wal-Maaaaart. Get yer booty and walk the plank!" A young woman greeted Glen at the door. Glen rolled his eyes.
"I know you." He poked a finger at her. "You're that one writer, Dark…something."
"Kaneanite." She smiled. "Aaaaar."
"This is our world, how do you?" Glen scratched at his bald head, confused. "How are you hear?"
"I don't know. I had some Tylenol with Codine…and here I am." She giggled. "I am a Wal-Maaaaart greeter and I am here to serve you." She smirked eyeing Glen up and down. "In anyway you desire."
"I'm busy. I might bug you later." He waved a hand at her in dismissal and she frowned, crossing her arms over her skull and crossbones Wal-Maaaaart vest.
Glen ravaged the store throwing red, black, and blue beards into his cart. He grabbed peg legs and hooks, hats and patches, parrots and undead monkeys, swords, belts, booty, treasure chests, guns, jewels, maps to lost islands and secret coves, talk like a pirate cassette tapes, skull flags, gangplanks, and rum.
He happily paid for everything with slash Jericho's credit card which he had lifted some time ago. With a little chuckle he shoved the plastic back into his pocket and dragged his bags out to the car, winking at the scowling greeter on the way out.
"Um, Glen, I think you went a little overboard." Shawn said as Glen littered Shawn's kitchen table with pirate accessories. "A lot overboard." Shawn corrected. "I mean, if you plan on blindfolding Hardy why is any of this necessary anyway? He wont see you."
"Oh come on and quit being an old man!" Kane growled. "Have some fun!" He snatched a blue beard from the table and put it on.
"Aw, look Glen, you have hair again." Shawn teased.
"Here." Glen barked shoving a three-cornered hat onto Shawn's head. "You wouldn't want to burn your bald spot when we're out on JBL's yacht."
Shawn frowned at Glen, but then smiled.
"Touché."
Both men turned when they heard a scratching and pounding. Glen quickly rushed to the closet thinking het Matt had somehow gotten his hands untied. He opened the door to find Matt still tied up and blind folded. Shawn sauntered into the room laughing.
"What was it?" Kane asked after shutting the door.
"Miz and Morrison. They're at the basement door begging me to make it stop…should I?" Shawn quirked an eyebrow at Glen.
"Hell no. Let the torture continue." Glen laughed eerily and Shawn high-fived him.
"Let's get Matt."
"Hey I wanna come!" A familiar whiney voice made Shawn and Glen turn. They saw slash Adam stepping in through the sliding glass doors. He was wearing some pink spandex pants with a black studded belt and a neon green fishnet shirt. He looked like a gangly, some how sexy, watermelon.
"Come where?" Glen growled furrowing his brows.
"I heard what you're doing to Matt. I wanna come." He danced around the room happily. "I can be the pirate wench!" He grabbed a sword and waved it around.
"Hey, give me that Copeland!" Shawn demanded. Adam reluctantly handed it over, pouting like a child who got his toy taken away. "You'll poke your eye out." Shawn mumbled under his breath.
"That's what the patches are for." Adam punctuated his reasoning with an immature gesture, poking his tongue out at Shawn.
"Come on then Copeland." Glen said tossing him a ragged looking dress.
"Why did you buy a pirate dress anyway?" Shawn asked as the three of them headed out the door, Matt tossed over Glen's shoulder.
"I was going to try to get you to wear it." Glen ribbed Shawn. "But I think Adam looks better in it anyways."
Shawn stepped on Glen's toe with his peg leg causing him to yowl in pain.
"Aw boys, don't fight." Adam sang prettily spinning around in his wench-dress and batting his lashes. "Do I look saucy?"
Glen/Kane tried to hijack this chapter. Lol. Well, I guess Shawn needs a break once in a while from all the planning and plotting, and it is one of Kane's greater skills, so it works. And guys, I have an important question for all of youl…Do I look saucy? Lol ;) Oh, and watch out for 9. It will be up later tonight, I promise!