Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. :) Here's moar for yuzall! It's shortish.
Death to Het
Chapter 9: Walk The Plank
Shawn, Glen, Adam, JBL, Punk, and a whimpering slash Matt were all on JBL's yacht in the middle of the lake. They'd all put on pirate gear even though Matt couldn't see them—Glen insisted on it. They disguised their voices by talking like pirates and they had poor Matt crying in fear. He was convinced that pirates had bombed he and Jeff's house and captured them both. According to JBL, or "Captain Justa Bootylover" they had already fed his brother Jeff to the sharks.
"CM Patch!" Captain J. Bootylover hollered. "Bring here me rum, aaaaar."
"There be a restriction on rum Cap'n." CM Patch growled, tossing the bottle overboard. JBL scowled.
"Dirty scallywag! I oughta keelhaul yer aaaaaaarse." He bellowed, clopping towards Patch, his peg leg clacking awkwardly.
"Aye, I'm sure ye will later Cap'n sir." CM Patch smirked. "Ye be a cruel Cap'n."
"Cap'n sir I think it be time we did away with this land-lubber and toss his raunchy aaaaarse to the shaaaaaaarks." Big Redbeard The Monster laughed darkly and the parrot on his shoulder squawked.
"Bwak! Walk the plank, squawk!"
"No, God please no!" Het Hardy wailed. "I'm sorry I don't know what I did, just please let me go! Don't throw me to the sharks, I'll dedicate myself to servitude on you great ship, I'll, I'll…I'll swab the decks and…and…please oh please!"
"Nay, matie we shan't be lettin' you go." Shawn who had the pirate name "Blackheart Kidd" knelt next to Matt and almost laughed as he saw tears leak out from under the blindfold. Blackheart Kidd ran the cold steel of his hook hand tracing the curve of Matt's jaw line.
"Oh please! Fuck please no!" Matt screamed wiggling and trying to cower away.
"Oh, don't worry yer pretty little head poppet, ye ain't goin' to be shark bait." Blackheart chuckled. "Oh no ye shan't be that."
"Wha—what are you going to do with me?" Matt sniffled.
"We be feedin' ye to…Hydrypso." Glen improvised. Shawn raised an eyebrow at Glen, but the bald man just went on, stroking his fake red beard and getting caught up in the whole thing. "Aye, Hydrypso. She be the most feeeeerocious beast the sea did ever birth from her loins. Rows and rows of raaaazor sharp fangs, she has." Glen dramatized. "Her breath be like the pungent stench of a million rottin' corpses, aye."
He's been watching too much 'Pirates of the Caribbean' Shawn thought with an eye roll. At least it was working though, Matt was shivering and sobbing, babbling non-coherent pleas for his life.
"She'll swaller ye down and ye be naught but bones in her belly. Not a wretched soul will ever know what become of ye." Big Redbeard The Monster yanked Matt to his feet and shoved him forward. He stumbled with a yelp and nearly fell down but CM Patch caught him under the arms and led him forward.
Het Matt's heart raced against his rib cage. His knees turned watery as he felt hands on him shoving him forwards. Nightmarish dreamscapes leapt up in his mind and captured his consciousness with gruesome imagery, involving himself, a demonic sea creature, and a brutal and untimely death. He stepped backwards trying to shove the pirate who had him in his grips, CM Patch.
"Get offa me mate!" The Captian shouted and grabbed Matt with big hands around his shoulders. There was a metallic 'schwing' of metal and Matt imagined one of the pirates unsheathing his blade which had probably seen many bloody, victorious, battles. He jumped with a yelp when the point prodded him in the back.
"Forward ye go." The voice he had come to recognize as Blackheart snarled against his ear. "To the abyss, aye."
"To they abyss!" The other voices chimed in.
"Walk the plank, awk!" One of them shouted. The parrot echoed the dreaded words.
"To the locker with ye scurvy dog!" A feminine sounding voice piped up. "Time to settle ye debts. To the depths!"
"To the depths!"
The sword tip bit at Matt's back urging him onwards. He sobbed and struggled to breath against the panic that was overtaking him.
"No, no!" He wailed, but the pirates just laughed and cat-called.
Matt felt his footing becoming more unsure, he could tell he was being pushed out onto a plank. He froze still, unable to go further.
"Move it bilge rat! Aaaar!" He recognized the sneer of Big Redbeard The Monster and started to tremble harder. He was shoved forward and nearly died of fright when he almost lost his balance. He could feel the plank wobbling beneath his feet. "Can ye hear the churn of the dark sea? She be comin' fer ye, Hydrypso, she be comin' to grind yer bones and swaller ye down!"
"No!" Matt screamed. Redbeard shoved him onwards and his foot flew out over the edge, onto nothingness. Time seemed to stand still as Matt realized this was it. He want to wave his arms out for balance but they were tied tight with rope. He fell to the side and cried out with a shriek, with all his being wishing he was never, ever, brought into being. Just before he hit the water, Matt vanished.
The 'pirates' whooped and cheered, the parrot even joined in with a victorious warble.
"That was great." JBL laughed as he clapped Kane on the back.
"Oh, so fun!" Adam giggled like a giddy little girl and draped himself over Phil.
"I hope you don't mind that we nailed a plank to the end of your yacht." Glen asked JBL, who just shrugged.
"I have more."
"You have more?" Adam's mouth dropped open in shock. "How many…like…a whole fleet?"
"A whole fuckin' armada baby." JBL grinned, pulling Adam away from his Punk. "Here, buy yourself whatever your saucy little wench heart desires." John pulled a few bills from his wallet and shoved them down the front of Adam's dress.
"Well, one down." Shawn said pulling the hook from his hand and wiggling his cramped fingers. "I wonder what's taking Mark so long with Jeff?" He asked running a hand through his hair.
"Oh…" JBL bit his lip. "There was a little problem with Taker and Hunt."
"A problem?" Shawn asked squinting around at the men on JBL's yacht. They all went quiet, Phil scuffled his boot on the deck and Adam whistled innocently.
"Did something happen to Mark?" Glen asked becoming just as suspicious as Shawn.
"Hunter sorta…blew him up." JBL admitted. "Last I seen him, he was in little pieces all over the basement."
"He WHAT!" Kane bellowed, disturbing a bird that had been watching from the canopy on JBL's yacht. "If anyone is going to blow up my brother and get away with it, it SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!"
Heehee. WWE Pirates…poor Matteh. But he was a het musi so he had to go. Hm…het Miz and Morrison still have to be done away with, and where's Jeff? Is slash Taker dead? Who had the best pirate name? *gives everyone eye patches*