That was tedious. It wasn't a bad trip really and we talked throughout, so it wasn't exactly boring or anything, but I still found it very tedious. I feel so restless, it's like the time was wasted, even though I know we came for a reason. I just want to be doing something instead of sitting around. Maybe it's because I'm worried about Anna and my family, every second is precious because I don't know what they might do.

I have to get on and do what I need to; I can't afford to fail this. I hope that there is a way I can make them understand but I am afraid that they'll try to stop me from doing this. It's too important to me and I know if this all goes wrong I'm going to regret it forever. I need to save him, or at least do everything I can to try. I can't walk that path, I can't hope to destroy him as they seem to wish, it goes against who I am.

I know that I shouldn't be panicking but I am, I can't help it. There has been so much loss, pain and hatred for so long now and I need to put an end to it. All we need to do is try, to understand and accept and change. We can all get along and leave in peace, there has to be a way for that to come to pass, there just has to be. I won't fail, I can't.

"Thinking about them?" Ren asked softly.

Yoh nodded, sighing audibly. "I don't know what they're going to do. They're likely to react the same way she did and I'm not sure I can make them understand."

"It isn't like you to worry, let alone like this. You need to be careful though, you need to make sure that you're doing this for the right reasons."

"I know that Ren, I already told you that as much as this is because I need to do it, I am sure that things have changed and that it's safe to do this. I have to put my all into this; I have to make things work and stop the cycle from happening again."

Ren nodded solemnly. "I understand Yoh; I know you feel responsible for all this because of your ties to him. I'll do what I can; I do mean that, I just need reassuring sometimes, I don't want you getting hurt again."

"Arigato Ren."

Ren nodded his acknowledgement as he led Yoh inside, Jun greeting them both warmly as they entered. She quickly took over, chatting and generally trying to lighten the troubled mood that seemed to have settled over both boys. She wasn't kept waiting long before the two were laughing again, much to her relief and theirs.

The merriments lasted for about an hour before Jun deemed it was time to eat, and they all settled down to a meal together. Discussion over the meal was light, though the subject of why Yoh was there was expectedly brought up. Jun didn't press the issue much, instead choosing to explain what she and Ren had been studying and to what ends.

It's a relief that Jun is so easy-going and understanding, she seems to know what to say and what to avoid to keep the mood light. It's nice to have the distraction from everything, I was working myself up and it wasn't doing me any good. I need a distraction to put everything back into perspective and that's exactly what they're providing, though Jun is definitely better at this kind of thing then Ren is.

I'm not feeling anywhere near as worried as I was earlier, though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still concerned about what might happen. I was being pretty pessimistic for me and not really all that reasonable. Things may well not turn out very well but if I start out with that mindset then it's more likely to happen. While I can prepare myself for the worst, I need to expect the best, just like always.

No matter what comes, I'll accept it and move forward, everything will turn out the way it's meant to and that should be good enough. If nature has given me this opportunity then I need to make the most of it and if it's nature's will, then it will come to pass the way nature intends. Regardless of the arrogance of humanity, we bow to nature, not the other way around.

That being said, Hao is quite capable of 'controlling' nature, since he learnt the essence of its energy, but he's an exception. Even those who learnt the techniques in the Chou Senji Ryakketsu can't manipulate natural energy like Hao can. I am learning how to do the same unintentionally through everything else I've been doing, but I've always been good with elements.

I wonder how much of that is because of Hao, though really I'm not sure that it matters. For any of my power that I may have 'inherited' from him, I'm still my own person and what I learn or not is down to the decisions I make, not the blood flowing within me. The family is too obsessed with bloodline and strength, we should be able to make our own choices and walk our own path, otherwise we never truly get to live.

It's sad that they're so very lost, life is all about responsibility and commitment, they live in terms of what 'must' be done and enforce that on everyone else as well. I've always shied away from that aspect of the family, though my arranged marriage to Anna was something I was never going to escape, whether I wanted to or not. I've always said that I love her but lately I've found myself questioning whether I do, or whether I made myself believe that I do because it was easier.

I don't want to think like that but some part of me doesn't believe that I have those feelings for her. If you know from a young age that you're going to be spending your life with someone, don't you try from the start to care for them? It would be horrible to live with someone you hated, let alone have to be intimate with them purely because your family expects you to produce a strong heir to carry on the family name.

As much as I tried to avoid their way of doing things, I did always try with Anna; I did always tell myself that we were in love. Whether she genuinely loves me or not I'm not sure, she doesn't often make it easy to tell. Anna follows my grandparent's rules and always pushes me to be strong, to fulfil my duty; affection is a rare showing, though that does make it special.

Given the ties with my friends and the newly heightened bond with Hao, I'm just not convinced that the feelings I thought I had are real. The ties between Anna and I just don't feel strong enough to be love. What I feel for Hao is so much stronger than what I feel for her, or any of my family for that matter. Maybe it isn't fair to judge things with Hao; it isn't as though I really understand that connection.

Yoh watched curiously as Ren and Jun performed a complex Taoist ritual, it was something that they had to do regardless, so they decided to offer Yoh the chance to watch. It was too intricate for Yoh to be able to join in, so he wouldn't get the full understanding or outcome that they would, but being present would give him some idea of what they had been studying.

Taoism was something he had never studied so he didn't understand a lot of the principles of what seemed to be a very complicated dance. Clearly the two of them were well-versed, their movements complimenting each other flawlessly. There was definitely a pattern involved, though from what he had seen at the beginning, that pattern was not pre-set and determined, at least not completely.

The rite had just finished when a commotion began in the front hall, a knowing look passed between the three as Yoh resigned himself to his fate. Jun and Ren promised to support him, and that they would answer any questions he had about what had just happened once the current situation had been dealt with.

As Yoh stepped into the hall he was surprised to hear that most of the commotion was actually from his friends complaining that his family couldn't just invite themselves into someone else's house. Yoh smiled softly, they didn't seem to be angry about what had happened that morning, not if they were berating his family for something like that.

Ren gladly imposed himself upon the situation and made clear his displeasure at their disrespectful act towards his family and their home, pointing out this was China, not the Asakura land in Japan. Jun stayed back with Yoh, leaving her brother to 'defend the family honour', even if it was really just trying to give Yoh a little more time before he had to deal with the situation.

Amidamaru left the group and headed over to Yoh and Jun. "Yoh-dono, we have tried to calm them but I'm afraid we were unable. The rest of us would like to discuss the situation to understand where things stand and what has changed."

Yoh nodded. "Thank you for trying, especially under the circumstances. I'm quite happy to talk everything through but that may be difficult to do with them, so I may have to excuse myself in a similar manner to this morning."

"We understand. I'm sorry that things are so difficult, I know you don't like strife."

"I knew from the beginning that there would be fireworks, it can't be helped. Hopefully things will settle down soon though, they just need to have a little faith. Daijobu datte, nantoka naru."

Amidamaru nodded in response, evidently glad to hear Yoh's signature phrase. He knew it was hard, he knew they were worried but as he had hoped, his friends seemed willing to be mature about it and trust his judgement. The fact that Ren already knew and had protected him had definitely helped matters and he was glad for it.

As the attention of his friends turned more to him, so too did that of his family and it wasn't long before Ren gave up on the idea of trying to prevent the inevitable. Accusation was clearly written on their faces and Yoh sighed softly, it was going to be difficult to get them to listen to what he said, rather than overlooking it and biting anyway.

That had been the point of his reaction that morning, because he didn't see the point in trying to explain to people who just weren't willing to listen; he might as well talk to a wall instead, he'd get a better response. It would make things difficult for his friends as well, since they clearly wanted to understand the situation and his choices. Yoh sighed again, he hated situations like these, the undercurrents and hostility were always unpleasant.

"Minna." Yoh greeted politely, though not particularly enthusiastically.

"Yoh, is it true? Has Hao been in contact with you? For how long? Why didn't you tell us?" Mikihisa's tone at least was reasonable and concerned; the allegation present was only a minute hint.

Yoh nodded; glad to be spoken to rather than being yelled at. "It is true I've spoken to him, yes. He came to me initially the night before last and said that we could talk things through if it was what I wanted, which we did last night, so there was really nothing to tell until this morning."

"Okay, so what happened this morning was…?"

"Anna was not going to listen to me, so there was no point in trying to talk to her, as I told all of them at the time. Look, I know you aren't going to like it, let alone accept it, but things have changed, Hao isn't who he was during the tournament, it's okay."

"Yoh…"

"I know, I understand perfectly and I'm not going to do anything stupid, which includes treating him the same way as everyone else and remove any chance of a peaceful resolution to this. Please, just trust in me? I've been right so far haven't I?"

"When is he to contact you again? Has he asked to meet in person?"

"No. He said he wouldn't contact me for 'quite some time' because it would cause trouble for me. There isn't anything for you to worry about and if things do change then I'll have to do my best to take care of it, just like before. Please?"

"We'll talk about this another time since it's getting late, but you're to promise me that you'll tell us if he contacts you."

Yoh sighed and nodded, though he wasn't willing to say the words out loud. Hao would keep his word and it would be months down the line before he heard from his brother again, he didn't know how much might change and honestly he didn't want to bring any trouble Hao's way. The other was trying so hard to stay out of the way and not cause any problems; the last thing he wanted was to be the cause for Hao to return to his old ways.

Jun took over and issued everyone rooms, though it was obvious that neither she nor Ren were thrilled with the idea of having them there. His father had made things easier on him at least, though he was relatively sure none of them had accepted what Yoh had said. Still, he was free for the night at least, though he knew his friends would want to talk to him before things went any further.