Sorry it's late, I've been at my sister's. Hope it was worth the wait...
No one else had come through the portal since Hao had taken Yoh through; a few hours had passed since then, though Yoh still had yet to acknowledge anyone. Hao had moved him away from the portal, while they had stayed by it in case someone followed. Yoh had wandered off not long after that, not that he was sure if anyone had noticed, no one had come looking at least.
Hao probably knows it's best to leave me alone anyway, it isn't as if there's anything to be afraid of here, there aren't any other people around. I can't believe they did that, how could they act like that?! All this complaining about Hao and they pull a stunt like that? Hypocrites! I feel so sick… They would have killed me too, I'm sure of it. They did seem interested in what I'd achieved all the same; maybe they wanted to see it once for themselves first.
How can people so easily take the lives of others? How can my family possibly justify that act? They were Hao's followers, 'you've been manipulated by Hao, Hao's dangerous and must be stopped at all costs'; they're all such pathetic excuses. It isn't reason enough to do it, how can they reduce the value of human lives so drastically for such stupid reasons?
They're no different than he was, blindly murdering whoever stands against their ideals. It hurts…I can't believe that…how could they? No, it's time to stop this; I've been sat here sulking for I don't know how many hours. I've always distanced myself from this side of them and if it's going to take predominance then I'll just have to take that a step further; those people are not my family, I disown their existence.
Yoh returned to where everyone was sat in close parameter to the portal, there were a few questioning and concerned looks but no one said anything. Chances were he looked awful, he had certainly been crying enough for that to be true. Brushing that thought aside he settled down with Hao, nuzzling into the others neck. Hao wrapped his arms around him, not hesitating to offer the comfort Yoh wanted from him.
"Sorry." Yoh muttered softly, though loudly enough for everyone to hear.
"Are you okay now Yoh-sama?" Macchi asked gently.
"Aa. I hadn't expected my-, no, them, to do something like that, it took me a while to sort everything out in my head, but I'm fine now."
"You're not going to consider them family anymore? Is that what you're saying?" Kanna asked bluntly.
Yoh nodded, not moving from where he was still snuggled into Hao. "I think that would be the best thing to do, yes."
"Mari wonders if Yoh-sama could really do that." Mari murmured softly.
Yoh smiled, it was true that it was easier said than done, but he had to try. "Maybe never completely, but I can sever most of my ties. I can't believe in them or trust them anymore and if they're going to continue acting that way I want nothing to do with them. They may be happy being hypocritical but I'm not."
Hao kissed his head, another offer of support but also an acknowledgement that he was proud of him. "We're here now, this is our home, it doesn't matter."
Everyone nodded their agreement without hesitation; this was what they had all wanted, even if most had tried to obtain it by spilling blood. They had relented that those methods were wrong and had accepted another path. Yoh was sure now that the portal would only allow those through who felt the same way they did, who wanted peace and a new start, who wanted to let go of the world they had lived and the darkness within it.
I'm surprised no one has commented on the fact that I've been clinging to Hao since I woke up. Surely it must look a little odd? He and I have barely had any dealings with each other and the ones we had before were all bad, so how they can accept so much physical contact all of a sudden is beyond me, especially given how we were acting in their presence before we came here last night.
I can't complain of course, I don't really want to get into that right now. Maybe that's why they haven't said anything, because I've got enough going on already without having aggravation over that. None of them are stupid though, maybe they understand the situation and are just willing to let us get on with it and work things out for ourselves.
Unfortunately I think facing 'them' is going to be unavoidable, we're going to need to go back and I want a chance to speak to the others with Hao so they can make their own decision of whether or not they think I'm doing the right thing and whether or not they want to come here, even if it's just to look. I should really see Amidamaru too, I keep going off without him and it isn't fair of me.
Things are going to get complicated if we leave here though; the chances are high that they'll be waiting for us. We can't really sit on this side inevitably either though, and being on guard and uptight wasn't really the idea. Things haven't worked out quite as well, but it has been better than what I'd hoped for the most part and I did expect this to happen.
Sighing softly Yoh snuggled more tightly against Hao, he really hated atmospheres like this, why people seemed to find it so hard to accept things, trust others and generally get along with one another was beyond him. Life wasn't meant to be so difficult, somewhere along the way things had gone seriously wrong with what society and people in general expected.
"We are going to have to go back and deal with though really, aren't we? This was always intended as just a visit; too many things need to be sorted out before we can really settle here permanently." Yoh stated, not really wanting to voice his thoughts.
"I suppose that depends on each person and how much they're willing to leave behind. Yes bringing some comforts would be nice and would make things more convenient but there's nothing that I absolutely have to leave for." Hao replied, leaving it open for everyone else to really think about it.
"There are things Jun and I need to collect if we're to continue our Taoism and of course my sister left Lee Pailong at home and would need to bring him back here with us." Ren stated for them both.
"Nothing important for us." Kanna responded for Hanagumi.
Yoh nodded. "I have to go back; there are too many things I shouldn't ignore, no one else needs to leave because someone else is though."
Hao kissed Yoh's head again. "As if I'm going to let you go out there alone, knowing all too well what's likely to happen."
Yoh pressed his lips against Hao's without really thinking about it but soon pulled back at the sound of a few muffled gasps. Hao ignored the reactions and ran his hand through Yoh's hair, trying to ease Yoh back out of the uncomfortable embarrassment he had landed himself in.
Yoh wasn't really sure what to do, part of him wanted to snuggle into Hao and 'hide' against him, while another part wanted to move away from him and run away from the situation. Hao made the decision for him when he pulled Yoh back against him. Yoh soon clung to him, not really wanting to face the others.
"So that's what the 'not talking to each other' situation was all about, because that happened and you didn't know what to do about it? So what does this mean, are you a couple?" Ren asked calmly, his voice not betraying any emotions.
"Yes, that's why we were behaving that way and we don't know yet. This isn't really about anything but comfort or closeness at present." Hao replied nonchalantly.
"It was surprising, but Mari doesn't mind what Hao-sama or Yoh-sama does. As long as you're both happy, Mari is too." Mari stated softly.
"Yeah, we don't exactly follow society's rules anyway and it isn't like you two can mate, which is why the law was made, so who cares whether that is what you both want or not?" Kanna added.
I can't see the reactions of anyone to know for sure but I can't feel any negativity in the air, so hopefully that means everyone is okay with this. I knew we were going to have to deal with this eventually but certainly not like that. I can't believe I was so stupid! How do you forget that quickly that it isn't just the two of you so acting like that is a no-no? Maybe 'everyone' is right; maybe I really am brain-dead…
I hope this really is okay and it isn't going to put any strain on our relationships. I can't see really that Mari or Kanna would have made those comments if they didn't mean them, they're too used to Hao knowing everything to consider lying to him, though I think they respect him more than to do something like that anyway.
I'm not sure about Ren or Jun, or Macchi for that matter. Macchi is probably okay if the rest of Hanagumi are and she may well have nodded her agreement rather than make a comment of her own, since Mari and Kanna summed it up themselves and Hao did already say they'd be fine with it. It may have been the same for Ren and Jun I suppose, but Ren is being far too quiet for my liking, he's usually more open with his opinion of things.
I'm not really ready to face them and find just yet though, staying here cuddled against Hao is far more appealing. I know it's a little childish and a little pathetic but for whatever reason, since things changed between us I just feel inclined to let him support and protect me. I'm not weak and I don't need him to do things like that for me but it does feel nice.
I guess I'd better be careful that I don't really come to depend on him, it's an easy line to cross and I don't want to be a burden. Besides, this is all my doing, so I have to take some responsibility for it, I can't leave it to Hao or someone else. It isn't as though I'm happy with the idea of losing my strength or independence either, though I'm a long shot from any of that, it's just something I need to bear in mind.
"I'm surprised Jian hasn't come, though I guess maybe he can't." Yoh murmured.
"Of course the traitor can't come." Ren snapped.
"No, I don't think he wanted that to happen, it's just something he couldn't prevent. I don't think he's like them, he never judged me and my attachment to Hao never bothered him. I'm pretty sure this was forced on him."
"I hope you're right, he knows too much about all this." Jun stated softly.
"Daijobu datte, nantoka naru."
I'm sure my initial opinion of him was accurate, as well as everything since. Jian hasn't been playing me all this time, he didn't mind about Hao and he wants to be a part of this. I don't understand what's changed, how they got him involved in this, though it was made clear enough that he knew what was going on. Still, he did seem sorry for it and I believe he is; he's a good man, I know he is.
I don't think that he would offer any help that would result in anything bad happening to this place, no matter what they threatened him with. When it comes to someone's life work, they tend to be very protective of it. I guess he couldn't be sure how I would react or what the situation between Hao and myself would be, certainly I don't think anyone expected us to get so close as quickly as we have.
My cuddling into him was a bad move to make, it convinced them that I'm too lost to be saved and need to be 'dealt' with as well. Ren and Jun may well have found themselves pulled into that category as well, given they've supported me from the start and didn't say anything against my behaviour. It's all insane and hypocritical and I really don't know that anything can be done to change that.
The portal fluctuated and everyone stood up, readying themselves for an attack. Lee Pailong stepping through was the last thing they had expected and the surprise continued when Amidamaru and all of Yoh's friends followed shortly afterwards. Maybe Yoh had been wrong he decided, maybe they didn't need to leave after all.