When in Rome, do as the German's do ch.4
Hi ppls. sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out.
thank you sooo much to the people who reviewed xx
well anyways
owtf
(recap)
I was so deep in thought that I almost didn't realise that I was at the gym. I opened the door and went in. the first thing I laid my eyes on almost took my breath away…
It was…
It was Tom! I wanted to turn around and just walk straight out but I couldn't. it was like I was glued to the spot. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't look away from his perfectly toned arms. And his biceps and he had a really cute face when he was concentrating. I mentally slapped myself for thinking any of that and was so glad I didn't say any of it out loud.
That was when I decided it. I was going to show that Kaulitz THING that he didn't want to mess with me and that I wasn't going to be one of those poor girls that he fucks around with and then leaves! I walked straight up to the punching bag, put on my gloves and started beating the shit out of it pretending it was tom. Topless, covered in sweat, whit his really big biceps and his amazingly toned body. NO,NO snap out of it you want to punch the shit out of him. Not fantasize about him. I mentally screamed at myself as I continued to destroy the punch bag.
I was lucky there weren't many people in the gym at that time in the morning because i had started crying without realising it. i think it was from a mix of things but the biggest reason was because of guilt. i felt guilty that i was in Italy when i should have been in Scotland, in hospitalwith dad just talking to him. helping him get through everything. i just couldn't help the thoughts. i tried my hardest to block them out and that made me cry even more. the fact that i tried to forget about my own dad. i was pushing myself further and further into denial and depression but i thought i deserved it. how could i just leave him there? how could i just push him to the back of my mind. i would be lost without him. things used to be so much easier though. it used to be fun. dad was the one that taught me to skateboard. he was proud of me no matter what i did. he never tried to push me or mold me into something i wasn't ment to be. he was proud to call me his daughter and he let everyone know it.
i snaped out of my thoughts and felt someone staring at me. it felt like they were burning a hole in my head. i had expected that someone would notice sooner of later but, it was still a bit embaresing having people stare at you while you cry. it's embaresing having people stare at you at all. the thing about it was that i knew hwo it was without having to look. there was just something in the back of my mind telling me it was Tom. i didn't really want it to be him but there wasn't really anything i could do about it.
there was a little part inside of me that wanted him to come over though. just to talk. to let me spill my heart out and just tell him everytthing. it wasn't really that i wanted to talk to him but more that i wanted to talk to anyone. to feel like someone was actually listening and would tell me that things would be alrigth even if they wouldn't be. i think i just really wanted to feel loved again.
it was stupid and it made me sound even more selfish than i already was. i was really mking myself home sick and to top it all off i felt pain in my hands. when i took of the gloves i found out that i had burst all of my nickles. at least now i have an excuse for why i'm crying i thought. it was still pathetic though. i didn't want to be seen crying at all. i started to wipe my tears away and decided to go and get some water.
things were so different. they had all changed in just a few years. i thought back to how it used to be.
(FLASHBACK)
A little girl was sitting on a swing in her back garden, crying. she had just had a fight with her mum. she had a helmet on and knee pads. a tall slim man walked over and sat on the swing beside her. it was her dad. "Baby, are you really going to give up that easily." her dad said. the little girls mother had just told her that she wasn't alowed to skateboard anymore because it was too dangerous. "But daddy... mum said that i was to do as i was told"
"Yes. and i'm telling you to come with me and learn how to skatebard." her dad said with a smile. the little girl laughed. they walked hand in hand to the skate park and spent all day long laughing and skateboarding.
(END FLASHBACK)
Icouldn't help but laugh through my tears when i thought of hat. mum and dad had a really big argument about it. dad pulled her to the window and told her to watch me. i was having the time of my life. sure i fell a few hundred thousand times but i got up and laughed about it. i felt like i was the queen of the world.
mum stil got her way. getting me into gymnastics and figure skating but it didn't change anything. dad knew that as well as i did.
it all just seemed so unfair. he was always there for me, and when he needed me the most... i was half way across the world laughing and being care free. it all seemed so sick and wrong. yet part of me knew that it was the wright thing to do.
i turned around only to be greeted but the one the only...... Tom Kaulitz. well this should be fun i thought as he started walking up to me. "You should really get you hands bandeged up" he said with his thick German accent. that sexy accent that always made me smile. Holy shit i thought as i mental slapped my self for thinking any of that. " Thanks but i already figred that out on my own." i said while glairing at him. he just laughed.
"So... if you don't mind me asking why were you cruying over there because i'm pretty sure it wasn't because of your hands?" i took in a deep breath. i didn't want to seen weak to him but i needed to tell someone other than Damien.
2 HOURS LATER
I had told him everything. was half expecting him to laugh at me but he didn't. he just sat there and listened. it was nice to see that he could atleast hide the fact that he didn't give a shit about other people. I felt weird. i kept on imagening myself younger and him as my big brother and me spilling about my first crush. it was aquerd but at the same time it was the most natural thing in the world.
we st in scilence for a little while untin tom finaly asked. "So you want to go home then?" i looked at him no i steared at him. i knew that question was coming and i was prepaired for it but as soon as the words left his lips i rethought it all. i didn't know and it killed me.
"I don't know." i finaly wispered. tom was staring at me again and when i looked up he was closer than i thought. i instantly turned ten different shades of red. he was soooo close. we stayed like that for about two minutes untill...
HI PEOPLE. SORRY I ENDED IT THERE. AND SORRY IT TOOK ME SOOOOOOO LONG TO UPDATE I HAVE REALLY BAD WRITERS BLOCK JUST NOW. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS?
WELL ANYWAYS PLS REVIEW.
LIVE LONG AND PROSPER XD