Unspoken Agreement Chapter 1, a life with derek fanfic

A/N - Um.. yeah.. this is long...

Please forgive any mistakes, wrote this pretty quick to stifle my guilty conscience for not coming up with quicker updates. Hope you enjoy it, and please review. :) since I've tried out a new writing style... again.. jeez i get bored with how i write..

Chapter 1----

Snow. Winter. Trees. Autumn. (His body flushed against hers) Cats. Litter. Her Aunt Maggie. (His hands brushing against her thighs) School. Work. Lizzie. (Her lips at the base of his throat)

Her breathing was ragged. The thoughts running through her head, inconsistent. The water streaming over her head, her back, her legs did nothing. Nothing that she wanted. Her hands shook. Her skin raw (Warm breath tickling her skin). Breathing deeply she moved her head back, submerging herself under the warm liquid flow hoping to remove any trace of last night from her skin. Instead every drop was a reminder of a kiss against her neck. A nip against her breast (Case). She could feel him there with her. Against her. Holding her to him (Case). So possessive. So loving. And yet, nothing like him at all.

Wrapping a towel around herself, she stepped out of the shower, and moved over towards the sink. (I'm fine) She stared at her reflection. (Are you sure? You and Derek don't seem like yourselves). She gently touched the bruise around her wrist. (We just had another fight, that's all) She winced. It still hurt. (Derek might become depressed when we get married. He wont have a step-sibling to play with anymore) Her finger traced the mark. (Yeah.. married)

How did this happen?

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"Casey." "Casey."

She continued walking, the blood pounding in her ears drowning out nearly every sound around her.

"Casey!"

She stopped. Her heart was beating erratically, her hands formed into fists so tight, it hurt.

"Finally! Where are you going?" An out of breath Emily sputtered out. After observing the blank gaze of pure fury her friend had in her eyes, she took a step back. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Casey smiled humorlessly, her grin seeming more evil than joyous. "I just need to visit someone." Moving passed a open mouthed Emily she started power walking towards her car. Just as she pulled out her car keys from her bag, her best friend stepped in front of her and held out her hand.

"I'm driving."

"I'm not drunk, Em. I hardly finished my drink."

Emily nodded, but her hand didn't waver. "I know. But you're still intoxicated, not by vodka, but by rage. Give me the keys, Case. I'll drop you home."

Casey sighed in defeat and handed over the keys. They silently got into the vehicle, and Emily started the car. After a few minutes she turned to the passenger seat.

"You want to talk about it?"

Casey's jaw stayed shut.

"Okay." Emily let out a low breath, silently happy that she didn't have to listen to the rant. Out of the corner of her eye she watched her. After knowing Casey McDonald for eight years, it still surprised her to see her so angry.

After another fifteen minutes Casey sat up straight. "Turn here."

Emily raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "Here? But the turn to your apartment is not for another 20 yards."

Casey nodded, she seemed more calm. "I know. There's a supermarket around here. It's the only place that sells those vegetarian snacks you don't like."

She remembered those snacks, and her face scrunched up in disgust at the memory. If Casey wanted to binge, she was going to help her. Snacks meant acceptance, and acceptance meant less anger. It didn't matter that she would be yelled at for allowing her to eat so much just two days before her wedding. "Okay." After following her directions for the next five minutes, Emily started to wonder where exactly this supermarket was. They were surrounded mostly by apartment buildings.

"Stop here."

Emily obeyed somewhat automatically. Just as she braked, with impressive speed Casey unbuckled the seat belt and let herself out. Suddenly, it all made sense. Making her own quick exit, she followed her friend. "Casey!"

Casey didn't stop, but instead proceeded into an apartment building. Emily hurried after her, calling her name and hoping she would come to her senses. Just as she entered the lobby, a set of elevator doors closed. Cursing her luck, she waited patiently for the lift to reach the fifth floor before it came back down. As she rode the mechanical contraption her fear seemed to escalate. She hoped she could stop Casey before she did something stupid. Something that her rage would compel her to do. As soon as the doors opened on the fifth floor, she stepped outside and looked both ways. Spotting her best friend's coat as it took a sharp right, Emily followed, jogging in her uncomfortable heels while trying to catch up.

"Casey!"

Casey stopped outside of the last apartment and banged against the door hard.

Emily took a deep breath, preparing for a 'use your senses' speech. "Maybe you shouldn't..." Her words died down as the door opened. "Oh no." She mumbled under her breath as her suspicions became reality.

There stood Derek, a completely guilty expression adorned on his features. Casey pushed roughly against him and entered the apartment, her anger evident in the very aura that surrounded her. Derek's eyes quickly met Emily's. He didn't look scared, but in her opinion, he should be. Taking a deep breath she followed her best friend into the apartment. She had a feeling that she would be used as a human buffer tonight.

She was shaking. No one has ever made her this angry. Her parent's divorce didn't make her shake, her mother getting married to George and making her move to London didn't make her shake. Even the very man standing in front of her, his brown eyes wary, his hair unusually dishevelled, his hands in his pockets while his bruised face seemed to watch her expectantly never made her shake before this night. This night, he finally, after eight years, broke the last straw on the camel's back.

Breathing hurt. She took another deep breath to calm her nerves enough to let out a few sentences. "Maybe.." Her voice came out through gritted teeth. "Maybe you can explain to me how you could sabotage the most important day of my life, and how you thought you could get away with it."

He winced at the harshness of her tone.

"Maybe, you could tell me why you wanted to do something so stupid two days before my wedding."

"Case.."

"Maybe.." She cut him off, her volume rising. "You could explain to me how my fiance ended up in the hospital during his bachelor party that you threw while you're at home with nothing but a scratch. "

Derek's injuries were far from that of a 'little scratch' but he was better off than Ben who had not only suffered a concussion, but bruised his ribs.

"Well, Derek?" She hissed. She needed an explanation. Especially since Ben downplayed the incident by saying that things just 'simply got out of hand'.

Derek sighed before looking at her straight in the eyes. "I didn't want this to happen."

She scoffed as she shook her head in disbelief, and her step-brother seemed to stand a bit more straighter at her reaction.

"I didn't." He repeated, and Casey felt compelled to believe him. "It was the bouncer and his two buddies. We were simply enjoying ourselves around the stripper pole when they suddenly picked a fight."

Something didn't click. "Stripper pole? As in, was this by any chance the same stripper pole that belonged to that red head who scammed Ben out of a thousand dollars with her boyfriend?" Derek's gaze betrayed panic at the realization that she knew the story that practically no one knew. She started walking towards him, her steps deliberate. "The same boyfriend who happened to be a former heavy weight champion but now works as a bouncer at a strip club where his girl friend works? The same stripper girlfriend who threatened to beat Ben to death using her knucklehead boyfriend's fists if he ever tries to get his money back? Is that where you took him Derek?" She stood resolutely still, her face inches from him. She knew the answer even before his eyes faltered under her gaze. "I thought so." She whispered. Only Derek would do something so idiotic. Tempt fate so boisterously through someone else.

His eyes suddenly blazed with intensity. "I heard she got sacked. Didn't know that the boyfriend wasn't. I'm his best friend. I wouldn't intentionally screw him over."

"If you're his best friend, then why aren't you by his side right now? I just came from the hospital, and apparently you hadn't been in to see him."

Glaring at her, he moved to the side and picked up a bag from the counter. "Came to get him a change of clothes. Was about to leave when you practically broke down my door." He tossed the bag to Emily, who caught it easily. "Any other questions?"

"Um.. Case?"

Casey turned to face Emily, who's presence she had forgotten about until two minutes ago.

"Maybe we should go back to Ben." She clutched the bag tightly, and hoped to separate the fighting step-siblings before blood is shed

Derek leaned back casually. "Go ahead."

Casey turned back to Emily after glaring warily at her step-brother. Her mind was made up. "Could you go get that to Ben? I just need to.. " She gestured towards Derek.

Emily's eyes widened. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You want to talk about it?" Derek asked surprised.

Casey ignored him. "Please Em. My car is the parking lot, I'll be there in about an hour."

"We're going to be talking for that long?" Derek chirped in again.

Emily laughed nervously. "Maybe I should wait."

Derek sighed in relief. "Now that's a great idea."

"No, it's not." Casey said glaring at him. She turned back to Emily. "If you really want to wait, could you wait in the car? I'll just be twenty minutes."

After deciding that maybe this might be a good idea in a twisted, alternative universe, and hoping that she would not have to call 911, Emily nodded. "Alright. I'll be in the car."

Derek however, suddenly panicked. "Come on, Em. You can stay."

Casey turned back to her best friend and pleaded with her look. After a moment of understanding passed between them, Emily left, leaving Derek alone to face his step-sister. She watched the door close shut before she turned on her step-brother.

"Now.. Casey.." He started backing up, his hands in the air, hoping to protect himself. But it didn't work. Within seconds she was at him, her hands swatting him repeatedly. Within the quick movements of her limbs he caught both her wrists and pushed her back until her back violently hit the wall behind her. He pinned her roughly with his body, hoping to reduce any chance of injury. "What is your problem?"

She gasped, her eyes snapping quickly to glare at him. "What is my problem? What is your problem?"

"I asked you first." He grunted pushing into her to stop her from squirming.

"You do this. You do this every time." She twisted her wrists, hoping that his grip on her would slacken. "You somehow ruin everything."

"You're being a bit dramatic."

"Am I? And here I thought that you getting my fiance beaten up two days before our wedding was sufficient cause for me to be all dramatic." She arched against him, hoping to push him away from her.

But he pushed against her harder. "You really piss me off McDonald."

"Really? So it's not just your drunken self that I get angry?"

His head moved back as if he was suddenly self conscious of his breath. "I'm not drunk."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not. The beer I smell is your breath freshener."

"Fine." He growled. "I had a few drinks. Don't be a prude."

Casey gasped at the insult. "I am not a prude." She tried to punch him in vain, while her wrists were held against the wall.

"Sure! Which is probably why you couldn't hold down a boyfriend for longer that four months before Ben." He smirked.

Casey wanted to wipe that condescending look off his face. Putting all her weight into it, she pushed him away from her. The fact that his grip on her had loosened during their sparring match had helped immensely. Derek stumbled backwards, but the fact that he took an extra few seconds to right himself up proved that he had been drinking way too much. "I seem to remember you driving away my dates starting from Sam and ending with Ben. I know about the betting pool Derek. When did you bet that we would break up?"

"You're over reacting." He said matter of fact tone.

"Really? Because I remember how you kept tempting Ben with poker nights and movie marathons and beer binges everytime we were suppose to go out."

"Yeah, but..."

"I also remember how you tried to talk Ben out of proposing to me."

"Well that was..."

"And lets not forget tonight." She crossed her arms expectantly and watched him. "Well? Why did you do it?"

Derek stared at her for a few seconds before sighing. "I don't know okay? I just..."

"You just want to be a jerk?"

His jaw locked in anger. "No. But maybe I was subconsciously trying to get back at you for ruining my relationships."

"What are you talking about?"

"Karen ring a bell?"

"That wasn't my fault."

"Sure." He said sarcastically. "Every time we wanted to be alone, you were always here."

"And that somehow leads to a break up?"

Derek advanced on her. "It sure does. Especially if you were the reason for three of my girlfriends to dump me. Apparently they didn't want to feel like a third wheel when they were in the same room with us." He crossed his arms and stared down at her. "You were saying?"

Casey stared at him in disbelief. "You cant be serious."

"Oh, I am. You're forgetting why your boyfriends dumped you. Wasn't it something to do with the fact that you weren't giving them enough attention?" Derek watched as her mouth opened and closed in a comic fashion as she tried to think of a reply. "In fact, Ben came to me with the same problem. The difference was that he didn't seem to think that there was something going on between us."

That last sentence shouldn't have caused a shiver to travel up her spine. Shaking her head at the ridiculousness of this discussion, Casey gently rubbed her temples. She was getting a headache. "This is crazy."

"You're telling me."

"Maybe they're right." She whispered more to herself.

Derek's eyes snapped at her in disbelief. "What?"

Casey looked at her step-brother warily. "Maybe we are way too involved with each other."

He seemed to be weighing her words carefully. "How can we be involved with each other when we try to avoid staying together in the same room?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, the feelings of confusion increasing.

"See? This is where your crazy comes in."

"Derek.." She tried to interrupt him, her voice betraying how tired she really was.

"No, I'm serious. Go home and sleep." Turning on his heel he went straight into his bedroom.

Looking around at the empty apartment, Casey suddenly felt unexplainable alone. Making up her mind, she followed Derek. She stopped in her tracks just as she saw him take off his shirt in one swift movement. A few years ago she had watched a mating special on the discovery channel when they explained how a woman's carnal desire was a radar to tell her who would be an ideal mate. Which probably explained her behaviour right at this second. Watching the show caused her to always assess the men she met, not that she found Derek the object of her desire. Her eyes roamed the contours of his bare back, as she watched the muscles rippling under his smooth skin. She never remembered him like this. It was a gradual change which started a few years back, which exhilarated when he started going to the gym with Ben. He suddenly turned around, causing her to force her eyes upwards and away from his torso.

"You want something?"

"I.. " Trying to look everywhere but at Derek was hard. She wanted to examine him, feel the difference in the muscles under her fingers.

"Well?"

"I... um.. " She finally looked straight into his eyes, which caused confidence to creep back into her body. "Have you noticed how every time we fight, no one else seems to be in the room?" He shrugged, but Casey feeling on a roll, didn't stop. "I mean, think about it." She took a few steps forward, losing her feelings of trepidation that had engulfed her as she had first entered into this room. "It's like you're always there. And you said it yourself, I'm always here."

"Yeah.. " Derek said slowly. "You lost me."

Sighing, she took a few more steps forward. "Why do you think we always end up in each other's lives?" Derek raised his eye brows at her, knowing that she would tell him anyway. And he was right. "Because we try to avoid each other!"

"And your brilliant plan is to try to hang out with each other as much as possible?"

She shrugged. If the facts didn't speak for themselves, how were they to find a solution to this problem?

"And the crazy is back." He said more to himself.

"Derek.."

"Case, come on. You cannot be serious." He walked towards a pile of shirts that was right next to her. Some things never changed.

Derek was leaning forward to pick up his shirt when he froze. His eyes slowly moving to her chest which had coincidentally started moving rapidly without her knowledge.

"You okay?" He looked at her confused.

"Yeah.. I'm fine.. What makes you think I'm not?" Considering that her pulse was beating faster, it wasn't a surprise when her chest started accompanying her quick, short breaths.

He leaned back, to look at her carefully. "You're breathing pretty heavily."

"No I'm not." Casey said smoothly. The increase in space between them gave her the air she was lacking.

Derek seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts before he leaned back forward, but stopped as her breathing increased at his proximity. His eyes suddenly met hers, understanding hidden in their depths. "Are you...?" He paused, and instead stood up and started moving towards her. Casey, in full on panic mode started walking back, every cell in her body screaming for her to avoid touching him at all costs. Derek suddenly stopped just as her back hit the wall. "Oh my God!" He whispered. "You're attracted to me."

Casey wished she was drinking a glass of water when he said that so she could spit it out onto his face. "What? No I'm not. You're crazy. Why should I be attracted to you?"

His face broke into a wide, smug grin. "Oh! This is just awesome! Casey McDonald is attracted to me." He laughed in disbelief. "What has the world come to?"

"Ugh! You're so full of yourself."

"Really?" His eyes glinted with mischief.

Casey's breath quickened as he leaned forward his smug smirk just increasing. She knew this look. He wanted to see her squirm. "Derek.." She threatened, immediately regretting it. Her voice was low and husky, something that it wasn't supposed to be.

"Come on, Case. Prove that you don't like me." He baited.

She felt her mind becoming unhinged. To keep her senses in check, she mentally recited a mantra. I hate Derek, I hate Derek, I hate Derek. Unfortunately for her with every 'I hate Derek' he seemed to be moving closer. Throwing caution to the wind, she looked at him. Really looked at him.

And suddenly, she wasn't the only person with a breathing problem. While her breathing was erratic, he wasn't breathing at all. The laughter had left his eyes, instead he was looking at her so intensely that she was sure they were thinking the same things. How they met, their first impressions, the pranks, the fights, the almost civil moments, the times they became allies, how they brought each other down, how they helped the other up, eight years of life with Derek. No one knew her like he did. No one else could read her moods, set her off or even calm her down like he could. No one.

"Derek.." She didn't even notice his name fall through her lips. A plea, a request for something that she didn't even know she wanted.

His face moved closer to hers, his movements slow as if he expected her to object at any moment. Keeping his gaze fixed solely on hers, he stopped while his lips were only a centimetre away from hers. She could feel his warm breath against her skin. Her whole body was in high alert, aware of every single inch of him that touched hers. Hours later she would wonder how this happened or even why it happened. But right now, feeling an unbelievably strong magnetic pull, Casey moved that one centimetre and touched her lips gently to his. His eyes darkened, practically turning black in it's intensity.

She did have a conscience. One that screamed at her that she shouldn't. She would have listened, if he wasn't looking at her like that. She could have listened, if he hadn't immediately moved in and claimed her lips as his own. No kiss had caused such a searing pleasure to go through her body causing her to hold onto him like her life depended on it. All thoughts fled from her mind except for the carnal desire she had read about so many times in her psychology class. He pushed against her, lifting her to bring her body flush against him, so that every inch of her could feel his hard form against hers. He kissed her hungrily, allowing her no air as his tongue sent little bouts of pleasure and his hands caressed her thighs. His fingers were teasing her as he lifted her skirt and flirted with the prospect of moving against her in a far more intimate manner.

Within seconds they were on his bed, his hands and teeth begging the clothes off her. She had never felt such a frantic need for anything as she felt it now. Her hands roamed over him, deliciously examining the feel of him under her fingers. "Case.." He groaned against her, causing her to arch her back against him, begging him to take her to that final threshold. They moved quickly, feeling each other more and more as each article of clothing was tossed hurriedly to the ground. She gave in to the desire she felt. And before long, Derek helped her reach that final point of pleasure. The realization of the magnitude of what they had done didn't hit them until after the deed was done.

Emily tapped the tune of her favourite song on the dashboard of the car for the third time. Sighing, she looked at her watch again. Twenty minutes had passed thirty five minutes ago. She was about to get out of her car and go drag her best friend from killing Derek when a cab stopped in front of the apartment building. She smiled when she realized who was sitting in the back seat. Locking the car door, she made her way to greet the patient.

"Hey."

Ben smiled, finding Emily here was a pleasant surprise. "Hey!" He winced. "Let me guess, she's up there probably grinding Derek into dust."

"Yeah." Emily smiled sympathetically. "I expect a body bag to go into use any day now."

Ben laughed lightly before grabbing his ribs and wincing in pain. "I better go and stop that."

"Um.. okay. Since you're here, I guess there's no reason for me to stay. Here." She handed the bag of clothes Derek tossed to her.

"Thanks." Ben smiled sheepishly as he put the bag under his arm, having examined it's contents.

"Tell Casey I'm sorry I couldn't wait any longer okay? I just gotta get some stuff before I go home."

"Yeah, no problem. And thanks for visiting."

"You're welcome. Just get better." Turning around, Emily went back to her car.

Ben took his time as he limped to the elevator in the lobby. As he rode to the fifth floor, his mind formed over twenty different scenarios that might greet him as he entered his apartment. But the one scenario he wasn't expecting was Casey running around the apartment looking for something. "Hey!"

She looked up at him in surprise. "Hey! What are you doing her?"

"Got discharged." Ben said smugly as he limped in.

"Why didn't you call me?" She rushed to his side to help him. "How did you get here?"

"Cab. Are you okay?"

"What? Why?"

He shrugged. "You just seem out of breath."

"Who? Me?" She mumbled distractedly. She must have found what she was looking for, because she quickly moved to the couch and picked up her purse. "I had to chase Derek around the apartment to get this back."

"Okay." Ben said cautiously. If it was any other night, he would have wondered about her nervous behaviour, but considering that this was the night he got beaten up by a former heavy weight champion/bouncer, he couldn't really blame her. But still.. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She was startled by the question again. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You know you can talk to me right?"

Casey bit her lip as if she was weighing her thoughts. Ben expected some sort of confession to follow. She bit her lip mostly when she thought she had done something wrong. However, he never got to hear her reply, for at that moment, Derek walked in.

"You okay?"

Casey took a deep breath to stop herself from snapping at him. "I'm fine." Why did everyone ask her that question?

"Are you sure? You and Derek don't seem like yourselves."

She looked down, hoping that no one could see what she was hiding. "We just had another fight, that's all."

"I just thought of something." Ben grinned as he stole a fry from her plate.

"Oh?" She hoped they had moved away from the current topic.

"Derek might become depressed when we get married. He wont have a step-sibling to play with anymore."

Casey tried to match the grin her fiance adorned. "Yeah.. marriage."

As he continued to tell her the most atrocious tests the doctors had him go through to simply prove he had a concussion, Casey found her mind wondering specifically to one incident, and one person. The guilt she was feeling was gnawing uncomfortably at her stomach. Seeing the signs of a joke, she laughed lightly.

What had she done?