ENJOY!! =D LoL Sorry guys this took so long for me to post up! =[ Next chapter can be expected to come out sooner then this one did for sure, I haven't given up on this :D Oh ya.. and I don't own Harvest Moon. But I do own the story line!

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Jacks POV

I could feel my conscious ripping me back to life. I tried to fight it. I didn't want to come back, I didn't want to face everyone.

I could hear voices.

"The reason he passed out was from an anxiety attack." said a voice that sounded like a man. "He was lucky though. The fall down the stairs only gave him a concussion."

"That's good." I recognized this voice, it sounded like it could be Ruby.

"Nami could I speak with you in private for a moment."

Nami was here? I thought she hated me, why would she be here... Where ever here was.
I could hear their foot steps, they sounded like they were getting closer to me.

"Nami... I think Jack is depressed, and very stressed..."

"What do you mean?" I could hear the fear in her voice, but I don't know why it was there.

"When I was examining his body. To make sure nothing was broken... I- well I found something."

I could feel him move the blanket off of my upper body, and I heard her gasp. It was like her gasp ripped me the rest of the way back, making me slowly open my eyes. At first everything was blurry, then when it all cleared I could see Nami and Dr. Hardy.

"Fuck..." I mumbled.

My head was aching, it pounded in sync with my heart beat. I tried to lift my arm to rub my head but I couldn't. It was tied down to the bed.

"What the fuck is this?!" I said getting pissed off very, very fast.

"It's for your own safety." The Dr. said calmly.

"Just let me go!"

"We will in time."

"In time? What the hell, how 'bout now sounds nice! Ow, fuck."

I said dropping my head back onto the pillow.

"Does your head hurt Jack?"

"No my nose does." I said sarcastically.

I watched the Dr. as he jotted down something on a piece of paper. He then walked over to one of the cabinets and pulled out what looked like a bottle of pills.

"He'll need to take one of these once a day. Around noon would be good."

Nami only nodded.

"I'm not taking anything."

"You will, unless you want to potentially slip into a coma."

I shut up right there.
I wanted to say 'That would be nice.' in a serious way,
but that would probably make me end up staying in here even longer.

"Unfortunately Forget-Me-Not doesn't have the help available for Jack that he needs. So the best I can do is to prescribe pills for depression."

Nami only nodded again, her eyes were red and wet.

"Stop talking like I'm not here." I said to him.

I watched him as he walked over to his supplies, he handed a roll of gauze to Nami and kept the other one in his hand. He walked back over to me and unvelcro the strip around my wrist. Gently lifting up my arm he began to wrap the gauze around. My eyes went wide.

Stitches ran up my arm in several different places.

"These are a few days old, but they would not of healed properly with out stitches." He said looking up at me.

The sad thing was I couldn't even remember doing all of them. I could see the many layers of scars all over, but my mind stayed blank.

He gently placed my arm back down, it was bandaged from my elbow to my wrist.

"Can I have my cloths.." I said expressionless.

I reached over and pulled off the other restrain so I could sit up. I slowly got up out of the bed.

"Jack please lay back down."

I ignored him, I saw where my cloths were so I picked them up and went into the bath room. Within a few minutes I was out of the stupid Clinic dress, and back in my old red shirt and blue jeans. All the while the Dr. kept getting more and more angry with me.

I looked at him with dead eyes and said "Thank you."

As I started to walk I lost balance for a second but regained it when I grabbed something to help me stay standing.

"Jack stop" Nami's voice pleaded.

I couldn't stop, I couldn't stay. I wanted to get as far away as this small town would physically let me, if that wasn't enough I had my other way. My other exit, that would take me so high up I would never ever come down. My eyes looked straight ahead, until I came to it.

The Blue Bar.

I didn't want to stop, I really truly didn't, but I had no control. None. It was either this or that. This was starting to feel like a dream. The ones you have no control over. Where they play out just like a movie your watching. My feet began to move out from under me. My mind was screaming yes, It hurt my ears so bad. My heart shouted no.

'YES do it JACK!'

'No, please don't!'

'Do it! Do it! Buy a drink. Buy the strongest shit there, and drink it all'

'Don't Jack, please Don't!.... I know. you can cut! CUT INSTEAD!'

'Don't cut Jack, drinking is so much better Listen to me.'

'NO! Listen to me, cut Jack, cut away the pain. Cut deep. Cut so deep you can fall into a peaceful sleep, and never come back.'

'Why would he want that?'

'I know its what you want Jack. I know all you want to do is drift away. Let me help you get there.'

"Shut up! JUST SHUT UP!"

I slammed the door wide open to the Blue Bar. Muffy was standing behind the counter with a cloth in her hand. She looked at me wide eyed and scared.

"Jack?" She said taking a step back.

"Muff, I need a box of beer to go."

"O-oh okay..."

She said moving quickly to the back pulling open a small fridge that held the cases of beer the Blue Bar sold. She hauled the box of 12 on to the counter. I slapped down the money, that I had in my pocket, on the table and grabbed the case with my right hand, and walked out the door. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to go. No matter where I went, or what I did I couldn't win. I just couldn't. If I went back home, I would be forced pills for the depressed. If I drank all of this, I would end up probably back into the clinic. If I cut, I don't know what would happen if I cut. I had no idea what to do. I was freaking out. I couldn't take it anymore. Looking around I noticed I was on the bridge, I ran over to Vesta's farm. Completely ignoring the house, I ran into the shipping house beside the main house. I quickly glanced around, and grabbed a pen and paper off one of the clip boards and ran back outside before anyone noticed. Rushing back to the bridge, I quickly scribbled my sloppy writing on the paper and rushed back to my house. I was about to slip in under the door, when I began to have second thoughts.

I let out a harsh sigh, crumpling up the paper I walked inside.

No one home.

Of course, what had I expected. A welcome home party?

"Yea right..." I said tossing the paper into the garbage can.

I could feel my self slipping. Slipping away into the deep red dark. I didn't want to go there. I didn't, I could get out before I fell in too deep. I could grab a ledge and pull myself up. Then again I had no control. The darkness hit when ever it wanted, when ever it could. Walking into the kitchen my eyes searched. Searched for something sharp, something cold. When my eyes finally landed on it I quickly moved across the room. I grasped the Sharp meat cutting knife. It was clean and unstained. I slowly lifted my sleeve up and looked down. I couldn't cut here... I know for sure Nami will make me get check ups from now on and the Dr. Hardy will see it for sure. Slipping the knife into my left hand I lifted up my other sleeve. I was shocked a little. So clean, unscarred, not tainted.

Until today.

This beautiful canvas was mine to create.
It was calling me.
With my artistic ability ready to burst.
and the paint brush in hand,
I slide it gently across my skin.
I smiled as I watched the red begin to smear.
Wonderful vertical lines created a road up my arm.
I could feel my self being lifted up into the light,
For now at least.

I made sure not to press too hard.
I didn't want to wreck this painting so soon.
I didn't need another visit to Dr. Ass.

Just as I was about to draw again, I heard the front door open up. I quickly rinsed the knife under hot water, and put it on the counter where the other dirty ones were. I rushed into the

bathroom door, just as Nami opened the kitchen one. I quickly wrapped toilet paper around my arm, and pulled down my sleeve.

"Jack? You in there?"

I didn't reply, I just opened the door and looked at her.

"Why did you bring me to the clinic?" I asked plainly.

"Why? What do you mean why! You fell down the stairs Jack"

"You should of just left me there, you should of let me wake up on my own..."

"Why! so we would-"

"Wouldn't what eh?" I asked.

I knew I was being an ass but I was still angry about being exposed. I felt so much smaller now... Eventually word would spread and then the whole village would know. I didn't need any more pressure...

"Wouldn't see Jack. So we wouldn't see what you've done to yourself."

"You should be happy, I'm getting what I deserve." I stated with no expression.

"Happy? HAPPY! How in the world would you think that knowing yo- you cut would make me happy."

I shrugged my shoulders, I focused on the feeling of the blood sinking through the tissue. The feel of it sliding down my skin. I pulled up arm up close to my chest and held it there crossing my arms to not cause her to think anything. She turned her back on me and shuffled through a plastic bag pulling out two pill bottles.

"I'm not taking those. I don't need pills! I can fix this myself."

"Jack. You think you can stop a coma? You think you can stop depression?!"

I didn't reply.

"Do you want to die Jack!?"

Again I said nothing.

She took out a pill from each bottle, walking over to me she held out her hand and waited for me to take them.

"I'm not a child..." I said.

"Well I know you won't take these on your own that's for sure."

I could feel my self falling, that black was returning. It seemed to be that the more I cut. The less it kept me in the clouds. So I would have to cut deeper and longer to keep me higher. I took the few steps to the kitchen table and plopped myself down. I laid my head on my arms and let the tears slowly fall out of my eyes.

"I can't do this anymore... I won't out. I just want out, that's all I want."

I heard her pull out the chair across my me and sit down.

"Jack..." She whispered.

"I want to leave... I want to end this forever. I want to drift away. I want to fall asleep and never wake up."

I didn't even realize I was saying all of this out loud. It felt like I was thinking everything single word. I felt her hand rest on my arm. She didn't dare touch my left arm, but the fact her hand

was resting on my right one didn't help much either.

"Just leave me... Just leave me here alone so I can finish what I started almost two years ago, okay? Just go, take everything. Take all the money, take Nathan. Take the animals. Take it all and go somewhere else. Start fresh, please for me? Just go and start fresh with out me. I wont be in the way, I wont cause anymore pain."

"No..." She said.

I looked up. "Did... did I just say all that out loud..?"

She didn't dare speak another word, but only nod her head.
I could feel the tears dripping from my eyes.
Tears I didn't want to shed.
Tears I didn't want to show.
I lifted my hands up to my head and pulled on my hair, with out noticing my sleeve slipped down, and no. It wasn't the left one.

"Jack why..? Please just tell me why."

I looked back up following her eyes to my arm. I pulled the sleeve back down and pulled my arms under the table. I locked eyes with her then looked away.

"It.. It helps me escape the dark."

"The dark?" she inquired.

I sighed, I guess I could say. I really had nothing left to loose.

"The deep red dark. The dark that pulls me in and keeps me locked up for hours on end..."

Then after that I shut my mouth up tight. No more. I didn't want to say anymore. She looked at me confused trying to understand. Her eyes glanced over to one of the pill bottles.

"Can't you just try them please?"

I didn't speak.

"Please. Please say something Jack."

I let out a silent sigh.

"They wont help... How could they."

"Just try, if not for yourself, for Nathan. He needs a dad Jack. He needs a father."

She played the father card.
I thought hard before speaking.

"How many a day?"

"Just three, one with each meal."

I slowly stuck out my hand, with a clear look of unhappiness across my face. She slipped the two pills, one for anti coma-ness, into my palm. I looked them over slowly, thinking it over again and again and again. Finally after probably five minutes. I popped them. It felt like I had just swallowed two cactus. I cringed at the feeling, I did not like it at all.

A smile flew across her lips, a scowl still on mine. she stood up and pulled on my hand to follow her. What was she doing? As we entered the main room I could see Nathan already sound asleep. We stopped right in front of our bed.

"Put on your PJ's" She said, already dressed in hers.

I was about to question but decided against it. I followed her orders and put on a clean pair of boxers and a long sleeve comfy sleeping shirt. When I turned around again she was

already laying in bed looking at me. I started walking over to the couch to go to sleep.

"Jack?"

"...yea?" I said confused.

"You can sleep here tonight."

What was this a free present because I did what she wanted I swallowed down the two small rocks? Still looking at her confused I slowly made my way over to the bed. Lifting up the

cover I slid in beside her. My eyes rested on her beautiful blue ones. A sudden urge to tell her something came across me and I could not ignore it.

"You are so beautiful Nami..."

She didn't verbally respond, only with a small smile. She snuggled up close to me and I wrapped my arm around her small frame.

I never wanted this to end.
For once in a long, long time.
I could actually say.
I was.
Happy.

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My eyes slowly opened up. I felt so tired, it couldn't of even been mid day yet. I looked around too see that it was still dark outside. Nami and Nathan were both still asleep too. Sitting up I realized I wasn't where I thought I was. I was across the room, on the couch. Did I get up in the middle of the night and walk over here? What happened, I swear I went to sleep beside Nami...

Slowly sitting up I cracked my neck. Must of slept here, my neck was as stiff as a board. Walking quietly across the floor I went into the kitchen to investigate a little more. Looking around I found the stupid pill bottle on the counter. Twisting the lid off I saw that the foil seal had been broken.

"So that means I did take one of the pills..."

I thought aloud trying to remember what else had happened last night. Then a thought came to mind. I looked over to my right arm only to see dark red stains against the bright red sleeve. Lifting it up I found what I expected to find. What once use to be a clean canvas, now tainted a crimson red. Looking back to the bottle I turned it to the back and read the label.

I breezed through the small writing until I found the 'Warning' part.

'May cause abnormal dreaming.
Head aches,
Changed eating habits,
Weight loss,
and may also increase suicidal behavior in teens and young adults'

"No way." I said putting the bottle back down on the counter.

"I have enough things to deal with, I don't need any of this shit."

I started walking out of the kitchen to grab a clean pair of cloths to change into.

"What the point of an antidepressant if it increases suicidal behavior?" I mumbled to myself self. Whatever happy mood I thought I was in when I went to sleep was definitely gone now. For all I know it was all a dream. I marched over to the clock to look at the time.

5:59am.

"Damn.. So early."

Just as I turned to walk away the alarm went off. It was so loud and I felt like my ears broke. I froze in place, from shock. But before Nami could get up I rushed outside into the fresh air. The air was brisk and cold, that's when I realized it was almost the end of Fall. That meant Christmas was on the way. As I started walking, I thought it'd be nice if I could get something for them both on Christmas. I doubt I'd get anything in return but this seemed like a good idea to show that I still cared even though my actions may of showed other wise. I started shivering in the cool air. It was colder then I thought. I wasn't in the mood to get sick, so I guessed I have to sneak back in. Maybe they hadn't gotten up yet. I really didn't feel like facing anything right now. Then again my curiosity was getting the better of me. I did want to know what happened last night.

Walking through the front door, I saw Nami up and walking around in her PJ's. She was standing in front of the TV watching the weather channel on a low volume because Nathan was still sleeping. Why was it that it always seemed like when you were trying to be quite your house always makes the most noise, but when you don't give two shits it's the quietest pile of wood out there.

She quickly turned around to see who it was coming in the door.

"Hello Jack."

"Um.. Hi." I said quietly looking away.

I turned back taking in a breath of air as I was about to say something, but I stopped mid breathe. To my luck Nami heard me. She gave me that 'go onn' look and waiting for me to finish asking. Feeling stuck I had no other choice but to ask to make sure I didn't start anything fight over not saying my question.

"Well..." I sighed "What exactly happened last night?"

She looked at me with a odd look wondering why I couldn't remember. Probably because I wasn't drunk, for once, and it was just odd that I couldn't remember.

"Well we." She stopped to think. "I went into the kitchen, to find you already in there. I asked you to take your pill, you sat there for a long time then you finally took it."

"Nothing else?" I asked surprised.

"Well, we did talk a lot before you took it... Then after a while we came out here I was watching tv for about a hour or so, you were still in the kitchen and then after I just went to bed."

"Oh..." I said looking down.

'So the part I remember after taking the pill was a dream right?' I thought.

I walked over to the coat rack and grabbed my winter coat.

"Dress warm, It's cold outside." and with that I walked back out the door.

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Wow Lol This was a long chapter, well longer then my other ones. Sorry if it just kinda ends randomly. I wanted to end it before I went on for too long. Cause I've already went on longer then attended. Haha Ok... oh and you guys can expect more of Nami next chapter. Well I hope you guys enjoy this one too. So remember to R&R =D and I'll love you forever lol

-GUNNer