Chapter 4: Primal Instincts and Drumming Fingers.

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I stood at the entrance to hell with shaky feet.

I could hear the menacing chuckles, the tinkling, uneven laugh of the moped from where I stood, clinging to Lauren as she tried to convince the bouncer that we were 21. Well at least she looked like it. I certainly didn't. The bouncer looked me up and down, frowning and trying to get me to admit that I was still under the age limit. I could only pretend to look nonchalant as I held my ID out. The truth was that I was struck with both fear and hesitation but a strange eagerness to let the fun and games begin.

But fear won the jostle.

As if on cue, I could feel tears beginning to sting at the corner of my eyes.

I heard Lauren curse and the next thing I knew I was being sucked in. I whimpered. I wasn't sure whether this was what I wanted anymore.

--x-

The sights that I saw were all too familiar.

The music pounding and blasting.

The lights flashing.

All the grinding, drinking and the vague chatter.

I suddenly remembered why I used to do this in the first place.

I was fighting an ongoing and futile battle against the old me. Two parts of the same, battling for dominance.

The familiarity was overwhelming. It was inviting me with open arms. Calling my name in the most seductive of voices. It was... comfortable almost, and I was being drawn in, like a moth to flame.

I tried concentrating on anything and everything else. I couldn't give in to what had been my primal instincts before. If I did there would be no coming back. All that I had done to control myself until now would be moot. Charlie would probably kick me out... leaving me with absolutely nothing.

Yet, the familiarity was so soothing. I felt all the abhorrent emotions I had felt the past few days mold themselves into the loud beats erupting around me. At that moment I felt serene.

I shut my eyes and I could feel a small smile appear on my face.

Yes, that was exactly what I needed.

I felt so alive for the first time in so many days.

I just couldn't help myself. As much as I hated myself for it, I just wanted to scream and lose control. Just throw my hands in the air and just let go of all that I had been harboring inside. I let out a little chuckle at the fact that this is what my sanctuary, my innocent meadow, had been exchanged for. This is where I came to forget about everything, where I came to run away. I just wanted to dance and lose myself. I felt like laughing so hard along with Lauren just like I used to. Laugh so hard that it would hurt like hell. Laugh so hard that it would make me go numb.

The sights, sounds and smells were all so intoxicating.

I submitted to my primal instincts. I made my way over to Lauren. She was watching me with the biggest smirk plastered on her face. I gave her the very first genuine smile I had smiled after moving to Forks.

And so the predetermined battle was won by my primal instincts.

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LPOV


"I'mma go to the bar, L. I waaant drink!" Bella said quite...drunkenly.

"No, you stay here Bella, I'll get it for you," I suggested in what I hoped was an offhand (rather than excruciatingly exasperated) tone. Not that drunken Bella would have picked up on anything subtle in the state she was in.

I was parched myself so I quickly made my way over to the bar and left Bella to her grinding. My legs were killing me! I had forgotten that drunk Bella was a dancing machine! Honestly, that was a surprise; she always claimed to be so clumsy. Clumsy my ass! She had been dancing for a good portion of the time that we had been here. Even I couldn't keep up with her. Clearly, she had some time off from partying to get all of her energy back.

I groaned at the sight of the same appalling-looking bartender who had been serving us the whole time.

"Back again eh? Can't stay away from meh can you baybeh?" The server said with a look which made me feel like he was undressing me with his eyes. Ugh. He even wiggled his eyebrow – his unibrow. Disgusting. He could NEVER measure up to my standards. I mean, did he really think he had a chance with me?!

"Shut the fuck up and get me my drinks." I replied, annoyed as hell. The guy had been hitting on me the whole time I had been there! Not that I mind guys hitting on me. Just this thing which was quite frankly disgusting.

He grunted and went to fetch my drinks. I flipped my hair and laid my throbbing head on my hands. I hadn't gotten any sleep last night. Unlike some people I was out having fun and –

A loud squeal pulled me out of my reverie. I looked over to find some girl getting groped – probably for the first time. God. I stared incredulously. The girl was out of control! She was practically drooling all over the guy. Seriously, I wouldn't have been surprised if she, like, ate his face off or something. I looked away in disgust.

The bartender came back and set the drinks in front of me, and gave me what he probably thought was his 'sexy' look but it seriously made me want to vomit. I did my best not to gag. After taking a very deep breath, I brought my gaze back to the bartender and gave him the sweetest smile I could possibly have smiled. He looked at me in utter desperation. Seeing my indifference behind my blindingly bright smile, he then huffed and stalked off.

I took out the little sachet of Kellar that I had hidden in the belt of my skirt and discretely poured the remaining contents into Bella's drink. That should do it: the last dose. All I needed after this last drink was fifteen minutes. Just fifteen minutes. I repeated that like a life-saving mantra in my head.

I grabbed the drinks and searched the crowd for Bella. Ah, she seemed to be having fun. She was getting felt up, by a really hot guy might I add. Lucky girl, she always did get the hottest ones. I was always second best at everything, no matter what it was. Be it our music, clothes, or guys. But not for long, Bella dear. You ain't gonna be around to be the best anymore.

Catching my eye, she skipped over with a euphoric grin, landing on one feet with a whoop.

"Which one is mine? Which one is mine?" she asked giddily, as if I was giving out free candy.

I fought the urge to slap her face there and then. "Here," I said, handing over her drink, smiling as sweetly as I could. Urgh. I deserve a medal for the amount of fake sweet smiles that I'd forced myself to smile all day long.

She took a long gulp and let out a sigh of contentment. She stared at the glass, then at me. Her brows were knitted, as if a thought just struck her. I tried to keep my face as straight as possible; did she –

"This tastes really, reaaally good, L," she said, the stupid drunken grin back on her face. I was so relieved that I burst out laughing, and she joined me. There we stood, two out-and-about-town girls, laughing like hell over nothing. Just like the good old days.

Except for the fact that I was nowhere as drunk as she was. Over time I'd gotten myself immunized to alcohol – unlike darling Bella it took a hell lot more than three drinks to get me stoned. But I pretended I was anyway, just in case she suspected anything through her drunken haze.

Before she could take one last gulp another extremely hot guy surprised Bella by smacking her ass. The contents of the glass went flying out. I jumped back, alarmed by the flying drink heading my way. Thankfully, it landed safely at my feet.

Bella giggled and put her hands around his waist. I could only stare in shock.

"Hey babe," he said with a cheeky grin before nuzzling the nape of her neck. "What took you so long, huh?"

"Hi," Bella slurred back while sneakily moving her hands to cup his butt cheeks.

Ugh. I walked away without turning back.

Plopping myself down on a discrete, cushy couch in the corner, I anxiously checked my Fossil wristwatch. Only thirteen minutes.

I shut my eyes and lay my head back. God, it hurt like hell. I needed my dose for today; it was killing me, being away from it.

The loud and annoying song was not comforting either.

I've had a little bit too much, much
All of the people start to rush, start to rush by
A dizzy twisted dance, can't find my drink, oh man
Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone

What's going on on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

(music continues)

After many long, agonizing moments, I forced myself to scan the crowds for Bella. She was dancing with the hot guy from earlier. HOT dancing. Just like she used to back in Phoenix. I knew that slutty Bella would come around!

I sighed at the thought of waiting for another ten minutes.

Bella was already acting like a raving lunatic confirming that the drugs were taking effect. I gave a triumphant grin. Bella was such an idiot. I thought she would have known better than to get herself drunk after I had slapped her in the car! Did she seriously not notice anything? Daft, overly trusting cow.

I shifted my gaze from Bella to the side entrance on the other side of the dance floor. Seeing no one of interest, I got up and paced back and forth nervously. Where could he be? He said he'd be here once I had Bella safely drugged. He couldn't risk coming out in front of Bella like that. I groaned in frustration, not quite seeing why he thought his idea was better than mine.

"Jus' wanna have fun with it, Laur." That's what he had said.

She would probably have a massive coronary when she saw what I had in store for her. I let out a boisterous laugh at the thought.

I spun my head around realizing that I should be watching a very out of control Bella. I looked around nervously wondering what she was up to now.

"Bel-la! Bel-la! Bel-la! Bel-la!" I turned my head at the sound, feeling alarmed. A small, noisy crowd had formed at the bar, mostly guys, and they were chanting her name? What the hell? Then I spotted her in the middle of the crowd, together with the same guy from before, and they were rapidly downing – probably tequila – shot after shot like they were water. Drinking game. Hmmph. Bella gulped the last shot and thrust her hands up in the air. The crowd erupted in a loud cheer.

I shook my head and looked away, feeling almost bored. No surprises there – drinking games were one of Bella's favourite things to do back in Phoenix.

Damn, she's going to have one massive hangover tomorrow… or maybe not. I wouldn't let my friend have a killer hangover, now, would I? After all, if that were the case, I would have to make sure that she live through today for that hangover.

I drummed my fingers impatiently waiting for that bastard to arrive.

Emmett POV

Well damn, I was looking forward to spending the day with Bella. Now I'm stuck walking aimlessly around the neighborhood looking for something to do.

She seemed like a very cool kid actually, more mature than others her age. Heck! She's even more mature than me! Then again, the others would probably point out that it was hardly difficult to achieve in the first place.

Heck though, what was the point of all my mates coming to Forks for the summer if we couldn't hang out? Edward was staying with his aunt and uncle while Jazz and Rose were staying at the Brandons' place.

Then there's me, stuck alone. Where's the justice in that?

I'm glad Jazz found a girlfriend, truly I am. I was seriously under the impression that the guys were gay or something! I can't even remember the last time Edward went out on a date!

Sometimes I wonder how I ever became friends with the two biggest prudes on the whole planet. But damn, that little pixie. Who does she think she is, stealing my friends?

I stopped in my tracks as an idea struck me. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen were probably at the Charity Gala weekend that was held in Port Angeles! That would mean that Edward would be home alone – and hopefully up for doing something. I quickly went through everyone's schedules in my head.

Shit, Jasper was probably working.

I rummaged through the kazillion candy wrappers in my pocket looking for my cell.

I popped it open and typed up a message really quickly.

EddiE Daaahling

FrEe drinks At tRiNitY, On jAzZ

'eM at da bUs StOp neAr mY pLaCe.

- eM

I sat down at the bus stop waiting for a reply.

Gosh, was the guy slow. I'm waiting here! I huffed. My cell finally buzzed after two long minutes.

Finally! I flicked it open in a flash.

Emmie bear. =]

Stop calling me that. I'll come get you.

-Edward

Haha! My boy was finally learning something from my constant name-calling!

I snapped my cell shut and drummed my fingers impatiently as I waited for Edwaaaard-O.

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???POV

The traffic was killing me! But what the hell – for the millionth time, I couldn't believe Lauren was letting me do this. She was so fricking awesome that it's hard to contain my gushing. How can all the good in the world be contained in one soul?! I sighed. Her perfect body. Her silvery hair... So fucking hot. The fact she didn't want me still eluded me. I was perfect. Blond hair, tall and – most importantly – willing to do anything she asked for.

On the other hand, Bella isn't any less hotter than Lauren. She might be smaller than her but still mind-blowingly hot At least I would have fun with what I was gonna do. Whenever Bella wasn't safely drugged she'd never let me get as close to her as I always wanted to be. Fine then. I guess I'll just have to do it my way.

I turned onto the street where my little Bella was housed and my heartbeat sped up dramatically.

Just a little while longer Isabella. Just a little bit longer.

I drummed a happy little beat on my steering wheel while I waited for the assholes in front of me to locate their gas pedals.