I don't own Twilight, believe me i think its pretty awesome, but if i did own it, i would ban the word Chagrin, its used much too liberally.

Chapter 8

Alice's POV

"..Alice".

Tilting my head downwards to look at Bella, hearing her say my name, she's not awake, the pace of her heart beat hasn't changed, her breathing hasn't quickened

Why did she say my name?

And why? With such a tone of awe in her voice? Was she dreaming about me? She must have been, Bella just spoke my name in her sleep, and not in the way that she does Edwards, when she calls his name, it often resembles a tone of despair, like she is worried he won't be there.

I saw her too, screaming, in my visions, pleading with him, not to go, not to leave her. She said my name, and she sounded happy.

Perhaps I'm over analysing.

I'll just try to forget it.

I do not want to get ahead of myself.

There is no ahead to get.

Just think of something else...

I hear a key enter the lock on the door downstairs.

Charlie, I forgot, in all of the drama that Bella had informed me of, that he would be returning home, I had come here to assist him, in the first place, how could I have missed seeing this?

I can't leave Bella now, not after she looked so happy to have me with her, not she said my name, in her sleep, happy about it.

But he is sure to check on her, I doubt he will want to find me in her bed, no warning of my arrival; I'll have to come up with an excuse for my being here, a visit perhaps, passing through to see relatives in Seattle? Yes that will do.

Carefully moving Bella's head onto her pillow, and pulling her arm from around me, I get off of the bed, silently as possible, so I don't wake my sleeping beauty - God I have to stop thinking like this, she isn't mine.

Taking a moment to clear my thoughts, glancing quickly in the mirror on her desk, being around Bella all night, had seriously affected me, my eyes were pitch black for the whole time we snuggled...snuggled? Shaking the thoughts out of my head, i turn to look into the mirror, my eyes are a dim haze of amber, that will do.

I slide her door open and walk down the stairs.

Seeing Charlie in the kitchen, "Chief Swan" he turns to look at me "Alice!" he said, wearing an expression of shock.

"Hello Mr Swan, I'm sorry to have surprised you, I heard you come in, so I came down to let you know that I was here, neither myself or Bella had expected you to return tonight, so we went to sleep, but when I heard you come back, I thought I should let you know that I was here"

I said, flashing him a small smile, hoping that his fondness for me had not faded because of my departure.

Charlie and I had grown quite close prior to my family leaving, we would often watch sports together whilst Bella cooked or completed homework, enjoying betting the outcome of football games mainly, he was a redskins fan, i'd inevitably know who would win but often I let him win out of courtesy, feigning my disappointment and complaining about why the other team didn't end up winning.

I found myself very happy when he got excited about winning one of our wagers. Our little sessions of banter, and quips filled me with glee.

"Of course, thank you for letting me know Alice...so what are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking, it's just that, I wasn't expecting you and all" he asked.

"Well I was going to visit some relatives in Seattle, and I thought I would drop in and visit Bella and you, make sure she was still looking after you" I replied, flashing him a grin " and I wanted to gloat a little about the Redskins recent disgracefully bad loss, 34-7, that's just embarrassing" I giggled.

His face twitching into a smile, I waited expecting him to reply with some of his trademark wit, but then his face straightened, "is he back?"

Knowing who he meant, I didn't hesitate to answer

"No, just me."

He gave a little nod and sat down at the kitchen table, remembering Bella telling me about what had happened earlier on this evening, why he wasn't here - i should say something

"I'm very sorry to hear about your friend Charlie, Bella told me what happened, I apologise for intruding at a time like this"

Thank you, and its fine Alice, please sit down, I'm glad you came, it's good that you came, Bella...she...she needs a good friend around right now."

Sitting down on the chair across from him, I wanted to know how he had been dealing with everything, I hadn't thought of watching him whilst I was watching Bella, I'd no idea how this had affected him, and I was probably as fond as him as he was of me, feeling the remorse, my expression changed into a more serious one.

"Charlie, I've spoken to Bella, about the past few months, I know it was bad for her, really bad, and I don't blame you if you can't forgive...our family for leaving and causing such grief, and I know that this isn't the best time, but how have you been?" I asked, trying my best to impersonate a young teenage girl, who didn't quite know what to say in a situation like this.

"Your concern means a lot to me Alice, and I don't blame your family for this, not really... well you know whose departure it was that hit Bella the hardest, he left her, without even considering the effect it would have on her, if he was here to see...the pain he put my daughter through..." looking down at my feet, shuffling nervously, I could feel the twitching of my eyes, the tears that had begun to burn, ".. he left and she became another person...no she wasn't even a person, I looked into her eyes, and I could see nothing there, it was blank, and she was empty, I've never seen anyone look like that, she wouldn't talk to me, but she didn't act out, she just trudged through, day to day, going to school, coming home, cooking, eating, going to bed, and starting again in the morning, the first few weeks, she was inconsolable, she wouldn't leave her room, she threw away cds, and books, and clothes – I guess the things that reminded her of him, the worst part though, it's the screaming, every night, nonstop, I hear her crying out in her sleep, shouting his name at times.

Her mother came down here to try and help, but Bella didn't even acknowledge her. She was so close to being catatonic; Renee and I were considering calling professional help..."

He was looking down at this point, his eyebrows furrowed, one hand rubbing his temples as he spoke, he looked like he was trying to continue, but he was barely holding it together, I could feel my eyes welling up, burning to release tears that wouldn't fall, my heart straining under the guilt, the way he was describing it, I watched Bella, making sure she was safe, I saw her emptiness, but I didn't experience it, not like Charlie had.

"Charlie..." I began, his name getting caught in my throat, "I can't even begin to apologise for his actions" trying my best to word it in the most sincere way.

" I know it's not enough, and I know what is done can't be undone, but on his behalf, I want to try and apologise...if there is anyway I can begin to fix this, anything I can do, please let me know, also I want to apologise for myself, I uh..I should of tried to stay behind -a person doesn't leave their best friend when they need them most, I could of stayed behind for a while, our whole family didn't need to leave immediately, only Carlisle did, if I tried harder and asked a little more, my parents might of let me stay, I understand if you feel any resentment toward me for abandoning her. But I want you to know, I never wanted to hurt her and I love Bella, and I'm sorry that I didn't do more."

Charlie got up off of his chair, his arms spread open wide, inviting me into a hug, his eyes filled with sadness, avoiding my gaze, I stood up, moving toward him and wrapping my arms around him, remembering not to pull too hard, I gave him a few gentle pats on the back instead, my head resting against his chest, his tall figure towering over me, his arms gently resting around my shoulders, I often forget how fragile I must seem to him, my tiny frame must seem very delicate.

Sucking in a deep breath, Charlie began "Alice, don't blame yourself, I know that you love her, you've shown that by being the only person to come and visit her, and you couldn't of done anymore, you had to go with your parents, you didn't have much of a choice, I know that if you did, you wouldn't have left, a young girl like you shouldn't worry so much about the things they couldn't change".

He pulled away from the hug, giving me a pat on the shoulder, "Thank you for visiting, you're welcome to stay as long as you want to" He smiled at me, pushing his hand through his shortly cut hair, "I think I'm going to go to bed now, it's been a long day, g'd night Alice" he said, leaving the kitchen and walking toward the staircase.

"Goodnight Charlie".