Disclaimer: I own nothing...Blah Blah Blah...see chapters 1-7.

A/N: Italics are either going to be flashbacks or dreams. Thanks for the reviews. Only a very short chapter this time. Also, I know once again there is a section where I've written Juice OOC, but I just didn't see another way around it without changing the progression dramatically and having the others involved sooner.

Hammering at the door, shouting at me, drunk assholes just three hundred yards away. Thirteen. I was just thirteen and I was being forced into a corner again. I didn't want to be here, I wanted it to go back to how it had been in years gone by when I could sit out in the bar, watching and listening to all the old stories before being put to bed and drifting into a silent sleep. This was hell – a twisted, nightmarish world that made me sick every time I woke up. I couldn't recall the last time I didn't wish I'd died in my sleep. I didn't give a fuck who got hurt but I couldn't take it any more. No matter how much I said no to myself, I found my feet traveling to the door, knowing it'd be so much worse if I didn't.

"Grainne, darling...how are you?"

"What do you want?"

'Stepmother' number two. Number one had been nice enough. That was her downfall. She was just too nice for the club and didn't last more than a few months. This one had me dragged unwillingly through hell every time church was over. Whether it was the choir boys looking for cheap thrills, or one of the impossibly drunk hang-around types who didn't know what they were doing. It made me sick and I'd taken to sneaking the odd bottle of Jack that wouldn't be noticed to get me through evenings like this.

"It's not me that matters. It's your darling cousin Marc that needs seeing to"

"Find someone else"

"Oh no, this is long overdue. Time you became a woman you insolent little bitch. Your mother was a Spanish whore. You're going to end up just like her"

"What if I don't want to"

"You don't have a choice. The apple never falls far from the tree, my dear"

She left him standing there, closing the door behind her, sitting in front of it. She'd bolted my windows shut so I couldn't get out that way. I was stuck with a psycho and a horny drunk looking at me like I was some piece of meat going for free.

"Take your damn clothes off and get on with it"

Tears. Salt tracking down my face. I don't have a choice. The music would be too loud for anyone to hear me, not that anyone would be sober enough to help me. Why did she hate me so much? What had I done to her to make her hate me so much? She's given up waiting, I see that murderous glint in her eyes as she crosses the room, shaking me, telling me how stupid I am, how I'll never be anything other than this, stripping me off because I refuse to. Does this woman have no heart?

"Roma, baby wake-up"

Someone was shaking me in this world. My face was tight and salty. Crap. I'd been crying again. Had I said anything whilst I was sleeping? My head was pounding and I hadn't drank that much...maybe it was just exhaustion. I had been working as many hours as I could just for a lack of anything else to do. Now these nightmares were back I wasn't sleeping that well either. Had I been crying over him? How fucking embarrassing. Could things get worse? What Biker wanted a woman with emotional baggage. They were the worst and no-one really wanted to have to deal with that sort of person. Clingy, over-the-top, needy pieces of shit. Was that what I had become? Maybe I'd been brainwashed into it. I'd been told enough times that it was how I would end up. Hell, I needed a drink and soon. By the sound of the music, party was still in full swing. Maybe now I'd got that horny ass heat out of us we could concentrate on what was going on out there.

"Are you OK?"

"Hmm, oh yeah. I'm fine"

"Really?"

"Really. Feel like getting a drink?"

If I could avoid talking about it then the truth would never come out. I was working too hard at making this work for it to go to the inferno now. This needed to work now or I'd never get out. I'd never get out of the MC world, but I could get out of my fathers home chapter and away from psychopathic stepmothers who wanted me dead for some unknown reason. I'd never quite figured it out. Still eyeing me with some suspicion, he seemed to be deciding on whether or not to pursue the issue, however me getting dressed seemed to make up his mind. I had a feeling that he'd be watching me more carefully from now on. It was the last thing I wanted, but if it stopped questions then it was worth it. Too many questions and I'd slip up, it was inevitable, however I needed to gain their trust before they knew everything.

"I don't believe you"

"You should do, I've not lied to you yet"

"Is that why you don't exist? I've tried every single database I could think of and there is no-one to match you. Yes, there are numerous Romana Bevans, but none have your history or your appearance. Then there's the lack of scarring...who are you really?"

"No-one, someone...anything the world wants me to be. Running from the past, forging a future from the present. Looking for freedom"

"Freedom ain't cheap"

"Sometimes you have to literally fight to be free"

"Who are you hiding from?"

"Snow White's Maleficent "

I wasn't waiting around for him to question that – I knew it was probably insanity to be walking around Charming with drunk bikers and hang arounds – not to mention the jealous whores. I knew I was being stupid, but he'd been asking too many questions. I couldn't leave though, I had things good here...or at least as good as they were going to get for me. What the hell did I do? Pushing past those who dared to get in my way, there were a couple of shouts over spilt drinks and a few more for me to hold on but why should I wait around? No, I'd get home and not bother leaving the house again, not until the morning. They could hammer at the doors and windows all they wanted but I wasn't going to let anyone in.

"What did you say to her Juice?"

Any attempt to get her stop had failed and on Chib's advice she'd been left to do whatever it was she needed to do. Sitting down again I sighed. How the hell was I meant to tell them that she'd practically confessed to not being who she'd said? It put Half-sack in a bad place as well for lying to cover for her. What I didn't get is what she'd meant by Snow White's Maleficent. I knew who Snow White was and the other bit was familiar...Christ, I needed to speak to someone with kids. Maybe Opie'd know, or Gemma.

"Just asked her about the scars. She flipped on me and walked off"

"That ain't a good start"

"I know...I'll go see her in the morning"

"Take her a...plant"

"A plant? Are you sure Prospect?"

"Yep...she loves pretty green things. Plants are always a cl...clever choice"

Jax shrugged his shoulders – poor thing was so drunk he could barely sit up. And Miriam...well, she was already down and out for the count. Maybe he just needed a drinking buddy rather than anything else. It was funny to watch though; he had no co-ordination and it was difficult to make head or tail of just what it was he was trying to say...but the general gist of it was there. A plant it was then. What was it with me and stuffing up? The failed drugging of that dog was the most recent – they hadn't trusted me since and so kept me to driving the van. It was easier than trusting me and letting me learn from making my own mistakes. Downing the shot I sat for a while, toying with my own private thoughts – Half Sack was gone and out of sight. I had to know the truth. If not from her then it would come from him.

Leaving the glass on one side, I left headed in the same direction as he had. This was stupid, I'd admit that but at the moment it made sense. He had possibly been emptying his guts and was currently leaning against a wall, staring into space. He didn't seem to have noticed me yet and I needed him so spot me. Shifting my weight from one leg to the other, I hit that creaky bit of the floor and he looked over.

"Juice?"

"What's the truth? I know you've been covering for her. What's she got to hide?"

"A lot – she needs to tell you, not me. There's a reason she's running"

"And how do you know her?"

"Some fucked up link. Something along the lines of her adoptive father being fostered by my grandparents neighbours before being adopted by another couple who broke up and the mother ended up marrying my cousin or uncle or something like that but he moved to be with the man who adopted him"

"And why didn't you tell us that the first time round?"

"Because of who her father is"

"Who is he?"

"Not my place to say"

"If you don't say I'll put a bullet through your gut"

"You wouldn't"

"Wouldn't I? I may play the fool but I'm far from an idiot prospect"

"Fine, fine...man who adopted her is some big shot with the Hell's angels. She's the Grainne they were looking for when they came through nearly two months ago"

"Why's she running?"

"Step-mother number three wants her dead. Tried drugging her, slicing her wrists open, cutting the brake lines on her car, choked her...gone as far as setting fire to her bedroom. Twisted it to make it look like she's losing her mind and they're all either suicide attempts or genuine accidents. She's got a good reason to keep quiet"

"If well all knew we could help her more"

"You think the likes of Clay and Tig are going to want the daughter of a hells angel hanging around? They won't care if she's your old lady or not. They know and she's gone. We clear?"

"I'm still going to see her"

"You do that, but be careful with her"

Lights were off, but I knew she was still there. She walked a damn sight quicker than me and I hadn't bothered to ride here. Pausing at the door, I considered whether or not this was the best of ideas...but I couldn't leave this to get any worse. No-one answered at the first knock which wasn't too much of a surprise. The second knock caused a light to come on. But no movement – she may not want to see me, but I'd damn well sleep out here if I had to but I wasn't letting this go. Knocking again there was a twitch of the blinds but after that it went silent again. It went on like this for a while – possibly a good 10 or 15 minutes. I'd knock, call out every once in a while, get a small sign of life but nothing close to some sort of opening up. There was an eventual creak as the door opened. Tears and black lines streaked down tanned skin, god that woman would break his heart if he wasn't careful.

"I'm sorry...I was stupid, I know I shouldn't have-"

"Save it for someone who cares"

"I don't know what to say to make this better"

"Then don't...don't try and save me from whatever story you've created in that little head of yours"

"You mean the story you created? I don't care about the past. I want to help"

"You think you're the first to say that? Nobody can mean that"

"I can and I do"

"Then come back in the morning"

The door was shut in my face and the lock was turned, closing me out yet again. Christ, what was it that had left her so cold and difficult to reach? She wasn't the same person who'd warmed up and let me in. Had that been her or all an act?

Whiskey bottle was half empty and I felt like shit, but it wasn't enough. I needed more. I hated this - everywhere I went I was reminded of the past in one way or another and it hurt so much. I'd left the glass on the kitchen worktop having decided that it wasn't giving me that numbness quickly enough. I'd pay for this tomorrow but for now it was enough. I didn't want to remember - not again but it didn't help. He hadn't been the first to say he didn't care and he wanted to help. There had been a prospecting Pagan who had said it but it came back and bit him in the ass. Now he was six feet under and it was all my fault. How could I fight the waves of memories?

"I swear baby - you, me and the open road. It's all we need"

"What about money?"

"We'll figure that out as we go. Leave tonight when no-one is watching the door. I'll be waiting in the usual spot"

"Promise?"

"You have my word lover"

He had promised and he had come. It hadn't been easy getting out, but there he was - free of any cut or markings. There was a burst of gunfire and red matted the blonde spilling from under his helmet as the flow grew, saoking the grey denim. The spray had caught me, forever staining that jacket and shirt. Eyes stared blankly at the sky - he'd gone. I didn't need any doctor to tell me that.

Tears were fresh - I didn't think I could cry any more. I'd never let any one work their way into me again but Juice was really trying me. It hurt too much to get close to anyone. Holding the rosary from that night, I knew I couldn't do anything to fight it. No-one could really care about someone like me. I was an easy lay. Always had been, always will be. She'd been right, that is my second step-mother who'd started all this, I was nothing more than a Spanish whore...just like my mother.

Playlist

Goo Goo Dolls – Let love in

30 Seconds to Mars - Saviour

Snow Patrol – The golden floor

The two lines: "Freedom ain't cheap"
"Sometimes you have to literally fight to be free"

Comes from the hells angel quote: Freedom ain't cheap, don't be a rat and sometimes you have to literally fight to be free