Always and Forever

Cheating

I was in my room, trying to focus on the papers of homework strewn across my desk. It was rather unsucessful. Instead, I was staring out my window, letting my eyes unfoucus as the icy rain pounded down to the ground outside.

I was there in my room physically, but mentally my thoughts were with Sam.

He was back, from wheverever he had been. I was happy that he didn't turn out to actually be missing afterall, and was even more thrilled that he called me today to let me know he was safe.

At the same time, I couldn't help but feeling abandoned in someway. He never had even mentioned to me that he was planning to go anywhere, neer gave any reason as to why he would just up and leave. But then again, Sam didn't tell anyone where he had gone. But I thought that I would've been... a different case to him. That hurt me in a way, as if I wasn't as important to him as I used to be...to know that he was keeping something from me.

And then there was today to concider. When he called me to tell me he was home, and he wanted to see me and that he was on his way...and he never showed up. That hurt me too.

This wasn't anything like him. He wasn't the type of guy that would just dissapear without telling anyone, or ditch his girlfriend, or keep secrets. None of this behavior was like him.

It scared me.

A howl sounded off from somewhere in the woods, causing me to snap out of my trance.

"OOH my---Leah! Leah, come here!" my mother screamed unexpectedly from downstairs.

I sighed, "What Mom?" I unwillingly got up out of my chair and made my way to the stairs. About half-way down the stairs, the front door came into view on the other side of the living room.

I stopped in my tracks, and sucked in a breath.

In the doorway, stood a dripping-wet, half-naked Sam Uley. He looked so different. His once, long, ivory hair was cut short, up to his temple. His body, was so...big. Way bigger that I had noticed before. His muscles were buldging. His eyes were locked onto mine, looking at me with the brightness I had missed.

Before I could even think to control my actions, I ran to him.

I jumped into his arms, throwing mine around his neck, and he caught me with effortless ease. My feet were lifted off the floor as I tried to reach his new height. In return he rapped his muscular arms around my waist, and held me tightly. I suddenly felt brilliantly warm, but ignored it, I was too happy to really focus on anything.

"Sam! Sam! Oh, Sam..." I was close to shouting for joy.

"I'm here, Lee-Lee." his voice whispered back huskily, and he tightened his grip as if he never wanted to let me go.

My oxygen supply was cut off, "Sam-"

He immediately released me, and took two quick steps back, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?"

There was a fear in his eyes that I couldn't understand. Maybe I was just too happy to even process it.

I just closed the distance between us again and kissed him. He kissed me back, his lips urgent, but somehow held back. I had missed his kisses too.

When we broke apart, our eyes locked again. There was something different about his eyes too. They were...reserved, and aged. It was like in the month he had been gone, something had changed him majorly. His eyes and face looked older, like he had experianced a year instead of a month.

I wasn't sure if I liked it, but for now, Sam was home.

Suddenly, I dropped my dreamy-elated state and the questions just started to roll out.

"Are you okay? Why are you all wet? Why are you half naked? Where have you been? Why didn't you come earlier?" with each question, my anger started to build.

"Woah, to fast Lee-Lee, one at a time please." he said smiling broadly.

"This isn't funny Sam! Where the hell have you--woah!!" I had brought my flat hand down on his chest, attepmting to slap him, but instead met what felt like a burning hot stove. I jerked my hand away quickly from the unexpected heat.

I looked at his chest, to my hand, to his face. His expression was stiff, and taunt when I looked up at him.

"Sam, you're burning up!" I gasped, "get inside, out of the rain, I'll get you some towels to dry off, you must be freezing!" I said very quickly as I took him ny the hand and dragged him inside, shutting the door behind us.

"No, no, I'm fine, really. I was just running, thats all." He replied with a rigid tone to his voice.

I looked at him strangely.

"I promise." He said to me seriously, "Lets go up to your room and talk."

I felt a stab of worry in my chest, and eyed at him suspiciously.

"Don't worry," he said quickly, "I want to...explain."

I let him take my hand into his burning-hot ones and we went up to my room. Once there, he slid onto my bed, and lay down. He looked up at me with a smile on his face and rubbed the spot on the bed next to him, gesturing me to lay next to him.

I stood still, and watched him with hard eyes.

"Explain yourself."

He sighed, "I missed you Lee-Lee."

I shot him an exasperated look, "Sam, that won't work. Explain."

He sighed more heavily this time, and sat up on the bed, "Okay."

I waited as a hush fell between us.

"I--Leah, you have to understand that theres somethings--that I'm not...that I can't tell you." He said with difficulty.

"Why the hell not?" I asked agressively.

"I know you're mad Leah, and I'm sorry I can't explain. I really am, and I really can't."

"No, I'm your girlfriend you can tell me!"

"I'm--" he cut off suddenly, it was as if his voice was taken from his throat, "I'm--" he tryied again, with the same result.

I looked at him in disbelief, "what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to tell you!"

"Where were you?"

"Nothing, Leah, I was sick for a while."

"Bullshit, where were you?"

His expression showed desperation and guilt, "I know, I know...I'm so sorry Leah, I can't explain...just please don't ask me anymore questions."

"No. Where were you?" I was getting furious.

"Leah please...just drop it I promise I'll explain it to you one day..."

"Why can't you tell me now?!" I shouted.

"Because I can't!" he had lost his temper, but not with me, "Because I'm cheating just seeing you now!"

I was more focused on the last part of his outburst, "What do you mean by that?!"

He lept off my bed and grabbed my hand into his burning ones. His eyes were frantic, "Leah, please...Leah." He wraped me up into a tight hug. I stayed stiff as a board in his arms, unwilling to give up so easily with his affection.

"I know, I know just...please Lee-Lee, not tonight...I just want to be with you tonight, just you and me...I don't want to argue, I've missed you so much." He whispered huskily in my ear.

I ground my teeth together, immensily frusterated. I had missed him too, and I didn't want to aurge either, but I was confused as to why he wouldn't tell me. But by the way he mentioned how he was cheating some kind of rule, it sounded like he was forbidden to tell me...

Sam released me, but still stayed close enough for my nose to touch his chest slightly. He started to play with the ring on my finger, twisting it to watch the dimonds gleam against my bedroom light. Locking his soft, compassionate eyes with my angered ones, he slowly bent down and brough his lips to the ring on my finger.

His hand then reached behind my head and pulled me into a kiss.

It was a silent agreement that I would let it go for tonight, but he knew I was still angry.

He would tell me.

If not tonight, then tomorrow, but I wouldn't give up.