Alex stood there stunned. He had left and left with Mac. But where? She knew if she didn't follow them it would bother her for the rest of the night... properly until she found out the truth, if ever.

Just as Gene and Mac were pulling off Chris pulled up in an unmarked car outside the station.

"Get out! Come on its important! I NEED THIS CAR!" She sounded frantic, her arms waving about all over the place.

Hurrying out of the car he didn't need telling twice with the tone Alex had.

"Bloody hell mam only needed ....."She was in and screeching off down the road before Chris could finish. "...to ask."

-

She needed to keep her distance but keep them in sight Gene wasn't thick he would know she was following them if he even thought he had caught a glimpse of her.

They had been driving for about 10 minutes when Mac turned down a street in Mayfair. He pulled up outside a building half way down the street. Alex turned and looked the other way as she drove past them; luckily they were both staring at the building. She parked up round the corner and peered round to see them entering a door.

Slowly she crept in the house where they had entered.

She knew now why he had left with Mac.

She saw a crest on the wall and the logo underneath.

Her heart broke, her head spun and she started to feel the tears well up.

This was the headquarters for the Masons.

Her earlier doubts about Genes handshaking came flooding back. How? How the hell could he even consider joining the Masons! He hated everything they stood for. Well at least she thought he did. She suddenly realised that although they had known each other for over a year now they had rushed into this engagement so quickly they had never really sat down and talked about this sort of stuff.

She hid in the main chamber and looked around. There sat watching Gene being inducted was Dr Battleford and next to him Mr Rugby. She knew it both of them!

Gene entered the chamber, one leg rolled up no socks, shoes and a noose round his neck. Just before the door was closed she glimpsed Ray at the door. Perfect .... At least there was no sign of Chris.

Her throat began to constrict as she watched the ceremony. Her eyes were burning now with tears but she kept them in. If he knew she had seen him now then it would be twice as bad.

Trembling as they all left she could hear someone humming in the back ground. She stiffened and realised whoever it was, was humming David Bowie. What was it still about that song that made her feel like hell?

Finally she saw Ray click the door shut and she heard them all laughing and joking on their way out. Climbing down from her hiding place she walked over to the podium where Gene had stood. Picking up the noose they had taken off him she let the tears flow freely.

-

It took her a good hour to get back to the station. She needed to compose herself, when she saw Gene again she didn't know if she would cry or punch him. She needed to calm down before either.

Taking a deep breath Alex walked through the doors to the office.

"Where ya been Bolls, we thought you had gone AWOL!" Gene had a carefree look on his face. She could see he was trying to stay neutral while others where around.

"Had to go somewhere. Sorry Guv." She didn't look at him, just sat at her desk avoiding his gaze. She could see him walk over to her desk. He sat on the edge of it facing her and pulled her chin up with his finger. Everyone else quickly looked away.

"You alright Bolls? I'm sorry about earlier, running out on ya like that. I know I'm being a grade A twat here but you just need to carry on trusting me yeah?" He gave her a sideways smile that no one else could see.

"I'm fine I just need to go and get some sleep." Alex was surprised at how calm she was keeping her voice. Her insides felt like screaming out at him.

"Well why don't ya go home nothing more to do tonight, I'll be back in about an hour when I've finished up. Grab a bottle of wine yeah?"

"No, I mean I just ...."

"What?" He stood up now looking a little annoyed, he knew that no wasn't a no to the wine. It was a no to him. She could see she was still pissed; he had no idea what about though.

"I need a bit of time to myself, just ....go back to yours I'll see you tomorrow." She looked away, her eyes starting to burn again. How could she spend a night with him now, after what she had just seen?

"Right...well... Fine then. See you in the morning DI Drake!" Gene turned round on his heels to everybody muttering between themselves, most of them trying to sneak out without being glared at. Only Ray remained now with Gene and Alex.

"Well then Raymondo looks like an unexpected Boys night out!" He grabbed his jacket and scowled at Alex. Thinking she was still pissed and over reacting about earlier he pushed Ray out of the office and ran down to the Quattro. He needed drink and lots of it and if he knew Ray a boy's night out would mean strippers as well. Fuck it.

-

She sat back down at her desk. Her earlier anger this morning was nothing compared to how she felt now. Alone and the last one left in the office now Ray and Gene had gone she started to cry. Sob after sob she racked her brain for answers.

How could she have got Gene so wrong?

How could he join the Masons!

She sat with her head buried in her hands rocking slightly in her chair. Her phone rang and startled her back from where ever she had just gone in her mind. Wiping the fresh tears from her face she sniffed and took a deep breath before answering her phone.

"DI Drake." She answered automatically.

"Hello Alex."

She did not recognise the voice.

"Who is this?"

"I'm coming Alex, I'm Operation rose. Don't get to comfy here. Your home is waiting."

Whoever was on the other end of the phone she now knew was the same guy who had left her the bunch of flowers the previous night.

"Listen I don't know or care who you are but I'm not going home, I belong here now. You can't make me. Don't ring me or contact me again. I'm happy where I am thank you."

She put the receiver down before the caller had chance to say another word. She hadn't lied. She had made her choice, her place was here.

After the past 24 hours though, the doubts were starting to creep through.

She grabbed her coat and sniffling made her way back home, alone.

-

He had some horrid dreams that night. Dreams about Alex disappearing from his life, about him not having a voice and not being able to tell her things. It didn't worry him though. He knew all he had to do to stop the dreams plaguing him was to turn over, gather her up in his arms, take a deep breath and drift back off. He turned around....but she wasn't there.

He wasn't in her bed. He was in his, at his house.

The head ache started first. Then the guilt. Then the head ache again... bigger, louder.

He sat up and sighed. His house was now not his home, he felt wrong being here. He didn't like the feeling of waking up and not having her there. Why the bloody hell could he not tell her everything about the masons. She would hate it at first but surely when he told her why she would jump straight back into his arms. Right?

What if she didn't? What if he had fucked things up so much now she didn't want to marry him anymore or worse not want him at all.

The head ache was now joined by a horrible twinge in his heart. It beat faster and faster and more erratic. His eyes became sore, and he found it hard to breathe. He was either having a heart attack or he was about to cry over the thought of losing his Bolly. He prayed for the later, having a heart attack now really wouldn't do much for his chances of trying to straighten things out.

Even last night he knew he couldn't live without her. A lad's night out with Ray in a strip joint was his old way of clearing his mind. Last night though he had sat and sulked in a corner not even drinking while Ray poured over one of the girls. Ray didn't even blink at him twice when the girl he was with suggested they left and went back to his. Gene had simply nodded at him and let him leave. A few of the girls had tried to come and chat him up, which he would have normally accommodated but he couldn't anymore. He told the girls in the nicest possible way to 'Fuck off' and he left driving home, sober.

He had gone to pick up the phone as soon as he got in to ring her to tell her what was happening, but again and for the last time he now knew, he let his pride win and he put the phone down. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and headed for bed.

He looked up now and saw the empty bottle slung into the corner. No wonder he felt bad, a full bottle. You really are some fucking coward Gene, he thought, couldn't even talk to her.

"Right time to stop being a puff." He knew no one was there to hear but he felt he needed to say it, even if it was just to help him get him out of bed.

He was going to find her, tell her and weather she liked it or not he was taking her back to her flat to iron out the past few days. Preferably under her quilt!

(A/N: Don't panic enough big style angst for our 2! It's time they made up right? Good I thought you would agree. REVIEW REVIEW!)