A/N: Thank you so much for all your awesome reviews! I know there's a little confusion on a few points but trust me, I'll sort it all out for you as the story moves along. Feel free to leave questions in a review or a PM and I'll do my best to answer without ruining the story! Huge thanks to my fabulous beta Breath-of-Twilight, thank you for helping me make this pretty :) Cat - love you squillions bb! Also for CydrynaMarie - i know you probably aren't reading this but I LOVE YOU.
I could feel everything. Every lick of fire, every excruciating pulse of blood through my veins caused horrific, unceasing pain. I suffered in silence, paralyzed somehow, whether by the pain itself or the mysterious fire spreading through my body I wasn't sure. I knew that exactly 37 hours and 15 minutes had passed, as Edward had made it a point to tell me the time every 15 minutes once he returned. He must have known how time meant nothing when one was in this state.
He had sat by my side, talking incessantly, spilling his secrets in a river of words rushing from his mouth. It was as if he couldn't get it out fast enough, as if he wanted to make sure I knew everything I needed to prepare me for this life. My new life, with him. I had thought this was what I wanted, but the more I heard, the less sure I became. He sat next to me, his arm draped lightly over my ribs as his fingers drew patterns against my collarbone, never moving, never shifting from his position. His words fanned against the thin fabric covering my stomach, a cool breeze that would have raised goosebumps but did nothing to soothe the fire raging within me.
"I want to start at the beginning. I feel that you need to understand my compulsion to have you, to keep you with me always, so that you can be secure in your place in my world. Our world, now.
An old friend of mine alerted me to your wish; an acquaintance of his had seen it on that silly computer program where you posted it. He came to me, knowing how I desired a companion, a mate. We tracked you down; really, those stupid websites aren't as secure at keeping your identity safe as they ought to be, any two-bit criminal with an iota of knowledge would be able to do it. If I hadn't planned on taking you immediately upon seeing you, I would have been angry that you would put yourself in such danger. However, I knew there was nothing out there that could harm you as greatly as I could.
I caught your scent once we reached your father's house. I felt it invade my body, diffusing into every cell and bringing them to life. I could practically feel your heart beating from your driveway. My friend had to brace me against a tree to prevent me from instantly attacking you. You see, your scent was like none I'd ever come across in my hundred odd years. It nearly drove me mad that first night; I had to stay outside your house, never even laying eyes on you, trying to acclimate myself and perhaps become desensitized."
He paused here and sat up, perhaps reflecting on his struggles or distracted by something I wasn't aware of. I listened to his harsh breathing, needing something to focus on in the silence of the room or I would surely lose my mind. The pain had increased exponentially; each beat of my heart pushed my too hot veins to their breaking point. The stress on my heart must have been unimaginable as I felt it struggle and pound out a broken rhythm. I felt detached, almost, knowing this fragile organ wouldn't sustain much more of this torture. I almost sighed in relief as Edward began again.
"The thirst nearly won out so many times! It was a sheer miracle that you survived it, oblivious to the inhumane struggle occuring just beyond your window. You slumbered on, mumbling the strangest things as you tossed and turned. It was the sweetest torture, knowing you were in there yet unable to claim what would be mine.
I came back, night after night, not requiring my friend's presence after a time. I eventually gained the courage to scale the outer walls and would sit outside your window, watching you study or giggle with your friend. I grew so attached to observing you; it consumed my consciousness so completely that I would panic if I left, convinced I would miss some crucial moment in your life. I never noticed you with anyone but Alice or your father, never heard you speak of any of those childish boys from school, which made me so indescribably ecstatic.
I formulated a plan to reveal myself to you, knowing full well that you would probably be extremely frightened and I would need to be exceedingly careful around you. You set me on edge, Bella, in ways I'm not fully familiar with. The night I came to you was the most stressful night of my existance. I hadn't a clue if you would accept me, although I assumed you would since you had asked so specifically for me to come to you. I nearly came apart at the seams at that first moment.
Your scent was so thick in that room, permeating every fiber of my being and clouding my senses. I wanted so badly to just take you, to bite you and feast upon your blood, pounding so fiercely through your fragile vessels. I knew I had to restrain myself, in order to maintain the strictest control for what I would attempt. You surprised me with your ferocity, your bravery in looking me in the eye and questioning me so. You spoke to me as if you weren't afraid, but I could smell it all over you. Your trembling limbs exposed you in an instant.
Then there was your arousal! I have never smelled anything so potent, so alluring. I could hardly fathom how you would be attracted to a beast like me, but I would not take it for granted, of that I was sure. I wanted to give you that experience, that one last delicious memory before this horrible transformation began to take place. The feeling of being buried deep inside you, wrapped in your heat and passion, was more than I could have ever hoped for or deserved. I knew the moment we joined that I was inexplicably changed, bound to you for the rest of my existence."
Well, I hoped he was planning on sticking around. I mean, you don't just sneak into a girl's room, make wild, passionate love to her, bite her, turn her into a vampire, and then walk away. I knew he was...different, odd by most standards, but I wasn't sure that mattered to me. I realized that I didn't actually know him, but he was ridiculously handsome and he was a tiger in bed. What more could a girl want? Inwardly I shook my head at my ridiculous logic, finally realizing that I may have bit off more than I could chew.
"I've never experienced something like this, someone that calls to me the way you do. You were so blind to it! I only hope that once you awake you will feel the same. This is not a difficult life to lead, once you become accustomed to it. I will be here for you, will explain it all and guide you through each day, each hour, until you are adjusted.
You don't know how long I've waited for you, Isabella."
Surely nowhere near as long as I've waited for this fucking burning to subside, Edward.
I listened mutely, feeling the fire fading in my veins as each moment passed, as each breath left his lips. I focused solely on his words, knowing that I would need all the help I could get if I were to survive in this new life. I could feel the strength building in my muscles, the lengthening and hardening of each fiber as the burn was slowly extinguished. I heard Edward gasp, heard the slight whistle of the air as it swirled around his mouth, heard so much more than I ever had. I heard the scraping of leaves against each other, the whooshing wind flowing off of the feathered wings of a bird, the empty silence of the room. I listened harder, distracted by the silence, the complete and utter lack of sound. There was no breathing, no movement, no heart beating.
My eyes snapped open in shock, my hand coming to my throat as I sat up quickly, much more quickly than I ought to be able to move. My frightened eyes took in the room around me, its stark stone walls and scuffed wood floor seeming barren and cold. I turned slowly, unsure of my surroundings and terrified of what I had become.
Edward was leaning against a humongous fireplace, the mantle stretching nearly ten feet, an ornately carved piece of wood covered in dripping pillar candles. Their light flickered and cast a strange, eerie glow across the room. I flicked my gaze back to Edward, taking in his tall, lean form with a new appreciation, noting all the subtle nuances of his face that I had missed before with my less-keen eyes. Their color was disarming, a deep hazel flecked with crimson, and it caused me to both want to stare and look away quickly. Thick dark lashes framed his eyes, giving them even more prominence over the other features. His nose was perfectly proportioned and straight, leading down to a wicked grin over flawless, gleaming white teeth. He arched a brow at me, perhaps amused at my prolonged study, before he pushed off from the wall and stalked towards me.
He halted at arms length, simply lifting a finger to trace the line of my jaw as his eyes bored into mine. His dark, dangerous eyes lightened briefly, allowing his excitement to shine through only momentarily before his shield was drawn again, the one I knew he used to hide himself behind. How I knew this I wasn't sure, I just did. I understood this as well as I knew he and I were meant to be; it was just truth. I felt almost violated by his scrutiny, the weight of his stare making me increasingly uncomfortable until I finally tore my eyes from his and stared at my feet. He chuckled softly, almost to himself, before pulling me into a bone-crushing hug.
"Edward-please. Too tight!" I managed to squeak out, trying to snake my arms between us and succeeding. I pushed lightly against his chest and was surprised to see him stumble backwards before righting himself. I felt my mouth drop open in shock; had I really just shoved him across the room? His eyes flashed with something, anger or humor, as he returned to face me. He rubbed one hand across his jaw, his face almost speculative as the silence continued. I wrung my hands between us, searching for the right words to explain something I did not understand.
"Isabella, stop. I know you didn't intend to do that. It's just one of the many things you'll need to adjust to now. There are so many benefits!" His eyes danced with excitement as his hands moved to frame my face. "You'll see. What would you like to do first? Are you terribly thirsty?"
The moment he mentioned thirst it felt as if I had swallowed molten lava, my throat erupting into flames and the most intense desire for a drink took hold of me. I felt as if I had been in the desert for months, deprived of any liquid whatsoever. "I'm definitely thirsty. What do I do?" I cleared my throat and swallowed, feeling the liquid pooling in my mouth and finding no relief from it. I began to pace, the urgency building the more I thought about the thirst. I pushed my hair from my face, anxious movements that brought no comfort, no distraction from the want, the need.
Edward laughed, velvet gravel spilling from his lips as he ran a hand through his hair. "You simply need to come with me. You'll know what to do; it's instinctual." He took my hand in his, no longer cold and alarming, and led me out the door.
As always, would love to know what you think :) LEMONS NEXT CHAPTER!!!!