Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: An update after who knows how long. By now I have probably lost all my wonderful reviewers! Don't blame them in the slightest…I'm like the worlds biggest procrastinator…I actually updated. This should be a national holiday. Make that international!

0o0o0o0

Let's get off the depressing and rage inducing semi-boring topic of my father Barren Battle. Here's an even more depressing topic than wide spread murder. High School. Oh, come on you know I'm right. High School is HELL. It's full of lame-ass clichés and burnt out teachers…and I'm not just talking about the teachers I have accidentally set on fire.

Yes, Mom, that was an accident! Why don't you believe me… never mind, whose side are you on anyway?

Where was I? High School land of the popular jocks i.e. Will Stronghold when he arrives. Chill out Stronghold, this is my life story, so shut up and let me ramble on for awhile. For some strange reason you are in my life so you have to deal with being in this autobiographical masterpiece I'm mangling.

So besides the clichés there are the classes, which supposedly this is the reason we even bother to attend school. Now everyone already knows I can't stand Villains 101, we've been down that road. So what about the other classes you might ask…What do I think about the other classes I have to deal with for four years?

Gym is actually fun…probably because I'm left alone most of the time, and then once Stronghold comes into the picture we kick everyone's ass. Which is wicked, man!

Math and Science, even on the super level are easy for me. That explains why when I'm not working I'm always tutoring my idiot friends…and I use the word friends loosely. They are more like stalkers or parasites. I can't seem get rid of you guys.

Yes you heard me correctly, Layla. No I do not "Oh you love us, Warren" as you so claim hippie.

What do you mean; I thought I sounded just like you.

Stronghold you might want to stop laughing at your girlfriend she might make your lawn trip you next time your mowing it. Or does tripping fall under violence as a big non-hippie like action?

English is by far the most boring subject….ever. I sleep though class and make straight A's. The teachers' go on and on about how Edgar Allen Poe was the original hack writer…wait that was a Stephen King essay, I knew that sounded to interesting to be taught at our school.

That's just the normal side of Lit. Then you have the "Super" Lit we have to cover. Who wants to write an essay on the best way of taking credit for your hardworking sidekick's credit? That essay isn't assigned these day's it's not PC.

I could go on and on about the mediocre classes offered. But I won't, because everyone wants to hear a story not a list of grievances. Never mind let me go on about my classes. Any 'intro' class is a waste of time. Unless you have been up all night and want a nap. Then it's a great class not boring at all.

Ok, I'm moving on.

So this brings us to Piloting and Mechanics 101. This is a rather interesting class. Completely hands on. This is the class where you're taught how to stop that jet about to fly into a major international building, or fix the engine on your flying car, or make sure the boosters on your jetpack are working and how to slow down that speeding train that's about to come off the tracks. Boring stuff like that happens in this class…

They also teach you how to steer, pilot, and fly this machinery. It's a useful lesson for all unlucky supers that can't fly or have super speed. Like me. I just light things on fire if you haven't noticed.

That's when my problems started. My class was starting to clock hours to become licensed pilots for various airplanes. You had to have so many hours up in the air with a licensed pilot. Well it was my turn to start and I forgot one very important thing.

Make that two important things.

The higher you go up in the air the less oxygen there is to breathe.

Airplanes have large pure oxygen tanks in them.

Third important thing? Yeah, there's three things…

Fire and oxygen equals really BIG fire.

How come my so called "teachers" not know this? Frankly, I'm surprise we managed to land that plane in a very well placed Atlantic Ocean. What was left of it anyway.

Long story short. That traumatized pilot retired never to fly again. In fact he bought a sail boat and never left the safety of water surrounding him on all sides. So I heard anyway.

Sky High's insurance policy most likely skyrocketed and I never got to fly a perfectly normal plane. Specially designed planes for people with powers like mine I'm cool with but normal planes no way! Now you know why my old man always drove across the country. I had to find out the hard way. By personally blowing the damn plane up…

Thanks for letting me in on that little detail, Mom.

For some strange reason this made me highly popular at school and I was elected prom king that year.

If you took that last line seriously I worry about your sanity, its called sarcasm.

By everyone's silence I think they got it. Or else my friends are bigger idiots than I gave credit for. I got to leave for work…stop by and leave one big-ass tip.

Paper Lantern down on Bay Street, oh, now you want to know how I got that job? Maybe next time…

READ! REVIEW! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM! I hear reviewing is the number one doctor recommended way of improving your health, losing weight and all over sort of nifty things!