-1SCENE IV. A street.
Enter Hiten and Kouga
Kouga
Where the devil
should this Inuyasha be?
Came he not home to-night?
Hiten
Not to his father's; I spoke with his man.
Kouga
Ah, that same pale
hard-hearted wench, that Kikyou.
Torments him so, that he will
sure run mad.
Hiten
Naraku, the kinsman
of old Higurashi,
Hath sent a letter to his father's house.
Kouga
A challenge, on my life.
Hiten
Inuyasha will answer it.
Kouga
Any man that can write may answer a letter.
Hiten
Nay, he will answer
the letter's master, how he
dares, being dared.
Kouga
Alas poor Inuyasha!
he is already dead; stabbed with a
white wench's black eye; shot
through the ear with a
love-song; the very pin of his heart cleft
with the
blind bow-boy's butt-shaft: and is he a man to
encounter
Naraku?
Hiten
Why, what is Naraku?
Kouga
More than prince of
cats, I can tell you. O, he is
the courageous captain of
compliments. He fights as
you sing prick-song, keeps time,
distance, and
proportion; rests me his minim rest, one, two,
and
the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk
button,
a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the
very first house, of
the first and second cause:
ah, the immortal passado! the punto
reverso! the
hai!
Hiten
The what?
Kouga
The pox of such
antic, lisping, affecting
fantasticoes; these new tuners of
accents! 'By Buddha,
a very good blade! a very tall man! a very
good
whore!' Why, is not this a lamentable thing,
grandsire,
that we should be thus afflicted with
these strange flies, these
fashion-mongers, these
perdona-mi's, who stand so much on the new
form,
that they cannot at ease on the old bench? O, their
bones,
their bones!
Enter ROMEO
Hiten
Here comes Inuyasha, here comes Inuyasha.
Kouga
Without his roe,
like a dried herring: flesh, flesh,
how art thou fishified! Now is
he for the numbers
that Petrarch flowed in: Laura to his lady was
but a
kitchen-wench; marry, she had a better love to
be-rhyme
her; Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gipsy;
Helen and Hero hildings and
harlots; Thisbe a grey
eye or so, but not to the purpose.
Signior
Inuyasha, bon jour! there's a French salutation
to your
French slop. You gave us the counterfeit
fairly last night.
Inuyasha
Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
Kouga
The ship, sir, the slip; can you not conceive?
Inuyasha
Pardon, good Kouga,
my business was great; and in
such a case as mine a man may strain
courtesy.
Kouga
That's as much as to
say, such a case as yours
constrains a man to bow in the hams.
Inuyasha
Meaning, to court'sy.
Kouga
Thou hast most kindly hit it.
Inuyasha
A most courteous exposition.
Kouga
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
Inuyasha
Pink for flower.
Kouga
Right.
Inuyasha
Why, then is my pump well flowered.
Kouga
Well said: follow me
this jest now till thou hast
worn out thy pump, that when the
single sole of it
is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing
sole singular.
Inuyasha
O single-soled jest,
solely singular for the
singleness.
Kouga
Come between us, good Hiten; my wits faint.
Inuyasha
Switch and spurs, switch and spurs; or I'll cry a match.
Kouga
Nay, if thy wits run
the wild-goose chase, I have
done, for thou hast more of the
wild-goose in one of
thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole
five:
was I with you there for the goose?
Inuyasha
Thou wast never with
me for any thing when thou wast
not there for the goose.
Kouga
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
Inuyasha
Nay, good goose, bite not.
Kouga
Thy wit is a very
bitter sweeting; it is a most
sharp sauce.
Inuyasha
And is it not well served in to a sweet goose?
Kouga
O here's a wit of
cheveril, that stretches from an
inch narrow to an ell broad!
Inuyasha
I stretch it out for
that word 'broad;' which added
to the goose, proves thee far and
wide a broad goose.
Kouga
Why, is not this
better now than groaning for love?
now art thou sociable, now art
thou Inuyasha; now art
thou what thou art, by art as well as by
nature:
for this drivelling love is like a great natural,
that
runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
Hiten
Stop there, stop there.
Kouga
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
Hiten
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
Kouga
O, thou art
deceived; I would have made it short:
for I was come to the whole
depth of my tale; and
meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no
longer.
Inuyasha
Here's goodly gear!
Enter Kaede and Shippo
Kouga
A sail, a sail!
Hiten
Two, two; a shirt and a smock.
Kaede
Shippo!
Shippo
Anon!
Kaede
My fan, Shippo.
Kouga
Good Shippo, to hide
her face; for her fan's the
fairer face.
Kaede
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
Kouga
God ye good den, fair gentlewoman.
Kaede
Is it good den?
Kouga
'Tis no less, I tell
you, for the bawdy hand of the
dial is now upon the prick of noon.
Kaede
Out upon you! what a man are you!
Inuyasha
One, gentlewoman,
that God hath made for himself to
mar.
Kaede
By my troth, it is
well said; 'for himself to mar,'
quoth a'? Gentlemen, can any of
you tell me where I
may find the young Inuyasha?
Inuyasha
I can tell you; but
young Inuyasha will be older when
you have found him than he was
when you sought him:
I am the youngest of that name, for fault of
a worse.
Kaede
You say well.
Kouga
Yea, is the worst
well? very well took, i' faith;
wisely, wisely.
Kaede
if you be he, sir, I
desire some confidence with
you.
Hiten
She will indite him to some supper.
Kouga
A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! so ho!
Inuyasha
What hast thou found?
Kouga
No hare, sir; unless
a hare, sir, in a lenten pie,
that is something stale and hoar ere
it be spent.
Sings
An old hare
hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in lent
But a
hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score,
When it hoars ere it
be spent.
Inuyasha, will you come to your father's? we'll
to
dinner, thither.
Inuyasha
I will follow you.
Kouga
Farewell, ancient lady; farewell,
Singing
'lady, lady, lady.'
Exeunt Kouga and Hiten
Kaede
Marry, farewell! I
pray you, sir, what saucy
merchant was this, that was so full of
his ropery?
Inuyasha
A gentleman, Kaede,
that loves to hear himself talk,
and will speak more in a minute
than he will stand
to in a month.
Kaede
An a' speak any
thing against me, I'll take him
down, an a' were lustier than he
is, and twenty such
Jacks; and if I cannot, I'll find those that
shall.
Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am
none of
his skains-mates. And thou must stand by
too, and suffer every
knave to use me at his pleasure?
Shippo
I saw no man use you
a pleasure; if I had, my weapon
should quickly have been out, I
warrant you: I dare
draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion
in a
good quarrel, and the law on my side.
Kaede
Now, afore God, I am
so vexed, that every part about
me quivers. Scurvy knave! Pray
you, sir, a word:
and as I told you, my young lady bade me inquire
you
out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself:
but first
let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into
a fool's paradise, as
they say, it were a very gross
kind of behavior, as they say: for
the gentlewoman
is young; and, therefore, if you should deal
double
with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered
to
any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
Inuyasha
Kaede, commend me to
thy lady and mistress. I
protest unto thee--
Kaede
Good heart, and, i'
faith, I will tell her as much:
Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful
woman.
Inuyasha
What wilt thou tell her, Kaede? thou dost not mark me.
Kaede
I will tell her,
sir, that you do protest; which, as
I take it, is a gentlemanlike
offer.
Inuyasha
Bid her devise
Some
means to come to shrift this afternoon;
And there she shall at
Friar Laurence' cell
Be shrived and married. Here is for thy
pains.
Kaede
No truly sir; not a penny.
Inuyasha
Go to; I say you shall.
Kaede
This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there.
Inuyasha
And stay, good
Kaede, behind the abbey wall:
Within this hour my man shall be
with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair;
Which
to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret
night.
Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains:
Farewell;
commend me to thy mistress.
Kaede
Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
Inuyasha
What say'st thou, my dear Kaede?
Kaede
Is your man secret?
Did you ne'er hear say,
Two may keep counsel, putting one away?
Inuyasha
I warrant thee, my man's as true as steel.
Kaede
Well, sir; my
mistress is the sweetest lady--Lord,
Lord! when 'twas a little
prating thing:--O, there
is a nobleman in town, one Hojo, that
would fain
lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief
see
a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her
sometimes and tell
her that Hojo is the properer
man; but, I'll warrant you, when I
say so, she looks
as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth
not
rosemary and Inuyasha begin both with a letter?
Inuyasha
Ay, Kaede; what of that? both with an R.
Kaede
Ah. mocker! that's
the dog's name; R is for
the--No; I know it begins with some
other
letter:--and she hath the prettiest sententious of
it, of
you and rosemary, that it would do you good
to hear it.
Inuyasha
Commend me to thy lady.
Kaede
Ay, a thousand times.
Exit Inuyasha
Shippo!
Shippo
Anon!
Kaede
Shippo, take my fan, and go before and apace.
Exeunt