Chapter 4 – Us and Them

Spock is surprised at how much he enjoyed his evening with the captain. It has been a long time since anyone beat him at chess, and Spock finds he is actually looking forward to their next match – although, if he is completely honest with himself, it is not just the chess that he is looking forward to. After his conversation with Uhura, he had meditated for a long time, and had come to the conclusion that he did hold some… affection for Kirk.

It is frustrating, however, because he cannot help wondering whether the emotions are genuine or a by-product of the mindmeld with his counterpart. And even if his affection is genuine, there is no guarantee that Kirk will share his feelings. Just because they were t'hy'la in another reality does not mean that the situation will be the same here.

He steps onto the bridge for his shift and lets his eyes rest, for a moment, on the centre seat. Kirk is studying a PADD, presumably offered by the blonde yeoman standing beside him. He smiles as he hands it back, and Spock is struck again by the way the smile makes Kirk's entire face light up. He gives himself a mental shake as he crosses the room to his station.

He greets Uhura quietly as he passes her and receives a slightly sad smile in return. He is gratified to find that ending their relationship was clearly not an easy decision on her part, but the idea speaks to her having considered this for some time. Spock finds himself wondering how long she has suspected him of harbouring feelings for the captain.

Spock has only been at his station for 12.4 minutes when Kirk appears beside him. "We should reach Starbase fourteen in about two hours," Kirk says, as Spock turns to look at him.

"Have you made arrangements for the prisoner?"

"Yeah; I got Uhura to contact the base just before you got here." Kirk lowers his voice. "Are you two going to be okay to work together?"

Spock feels a spark of annoyance. "Captain, my personal life has no bearing on my ability to perform my duties, and I am certain the same can be said of Lieutenant Uhura."

Kirk raises his hands in surrender. "All right, just asking."

Something in his tone makes Spock regret his outburst. "We have agreed to remain friends," he says stiffly.

Kirk blinks, then raises his eyebrows. "Good luck with that." He straightens up. "Chess at 21.00?"

Spock nods and goes back to taking readings as Kirk heads back to his chair.

- - - - - -

As predicted, the Enterprise reaches the starbase 2.1 hours later. As they are transporting the crew of the Archimedes to the base, there is a security alert reporting that Saunders and Morris have gone missing.

Kirk turns to Spock. "I'll go deal with that. You stay here."

Spock frowns. "Captain, it would be more logical for me to go with security. At least allow me to accompany you."

"One of us is needed here, and I don't have time to argue," Kirk shoots back heatedly, and heads out of the transporter room before Spock can protest further.

Transporting down the rest of the crewmembers does not take much time, and when they are all gone, several members of Starbase security beam up to the ship. Spock explains the situation and leaves them to guard the transporter room as he goes to look for Kirk. The captain has demonstrated an unprecedented ability to get himself into trouble, and Spock assumes that his assistance will be required at some point.

He listens very intently as he searches the corridors of the ship. Vulcan hearing is much more sensitive than human and Spock hopes that this will give him an advantage. He is near to engineering when he picks up the signs of a struggle. After quietly contacting security, he quickens his pace and deduces which room the noises are coming from. He approaches as quietly as he can manage, still listening carefully.

He is not surprised to recognise Kirk's voice as he approaches the door to the room. "Look," he hears Kirk say, with remarkable composure, "You've already attacked a Federation ambassador and two security personnel. Do you really want to add assault of a superior officer to your record?" Spock checks the door and is unsurprised to find that it is locked from the inside.

"I'm not afraid of you," a voice responds. Spock identifies it as that of Lieutenant Morris. "I don't know what you did to get this ship, but after the stuff you've pulled, you should've been thrown out of Starfleet. You're not my superior officer; you're nothing."

"Is that your opinion as well, Ensign?" Spock recognises the edge to Kirk's voice; Morris's words appear to have hit home. He begins work on overriding the locking mechanism. He can only assume that Morris and possibly Saunders are armed, and Kirk is not, and wishes that he could somehow communicate with Kirk.

"You should have saved her!" Saunders blurts out and Spock frowns, wondering who the ensign is referring to.

Evidently Kirk has the same thought. "Saved who?"

"My girlfriend, Lisa. You could have saved her, and you didn't!" Anger and pain come through clearly in his voice. "I kept hearing about the great Captain Kirk; how he saved the whole world. You couldn't even save a whole ship!"

Spock grimaces; Kirk has always hated to lose people. He listens intently, trying to figure out from the voices where each of the men is standing.

When Kirk responds, his tone is heavy. "I tried! God, do you think I wanted them to die?"

"Didn't you?" Morris snarls. "Oh, it's fine if you actually know them, but the rest of us don't even matter."

Anger rushes through Spock at Morris's words. He finally manages to disengage the lock and readies his phaser before opening the door. All three men turn to look at him – Saunders with anger, Morris with hatred, and Kirk with amazement.

Morris raises a phaser, but Spock is faster and the lieutenant drops to the floor, stunned. Spock turns to Saunders. "Must I stun you as well?" he asks.

Saunders shakes his head, backing down now that he is outnumbered. Spock relieves him of his phaser and turns to Kirk, who steps forward and grips Spock's arm, obviously relieved.

"Guess I should've brought you after all. How'd you know I was here?"

"Vulcan hearing is very sensitive," Spock reminds him as several redshirted security personnel arrive at the room. "Are you hurt?"

Kirk shakes his head, smiling thankfully. "I have to say, your timing's perfect." He finally removes his hand and Spock is surprised to find that he misses the contact.

Kirk turns to the security men. "Take this one to the transporter room," he orders, indicating Morris's unconscious body. "I want to question Ensign Saunders myself."

"I want to go with Jack," Saunders says immediately.

Kirk gives him a hard look. "Tough."

Two of the security men drag Morris away while the third stays with Kirk and Spock. Kirk swiftly contacts sickbay about the injured security men and finds that they are relatively unharmed. Morris and Saunders had knocked them out and stolen their phasers.

"Right." Kirk addresses Saunders. "Let's start from the beginning. Why did you attack the ambassador?"

Saunders glares at them. "I heard you talking in the transporter room. That old guy he was with wasn't meant to be here. If he hadn't been, maybe Lisa would still be alive."

"You could have killed him." Kirk's hands clench into fists at his sides.

Pain flickers briefly in Saunders's eyes, but his expression is defiant. "I didn't want him to die – I wanted him to hurt. I wanted you to hurt." He stares harshly at Kirk. "You should have saved her. You should have saved all of them."

He is silent after that, refusing to answer any more of their questions.

Kirk and Spock walk back to the transporter room with two security men, ensign in tow. The Starbase security personnel beam down, leaving Kirk and Spock alone.

Kirk turns to him with a sigh. "Was there anything else we could have done to help them? I keep thinking.... Seventeen out of forty-two isn't much."

"I have been over the situation, Captain. There was nothing we could have done to save them." Kirk shrugs listlessly and Spock reaches out, laying a hand on his arm.

"Jim, you did everything possible. The loss of the rest of the Archimedes crew is notyour fault."

Kirk nods slowly, some of the stiffness in his posture dissipating. Spock removes his hand, surprised at his own use of Kirk's first name, but relieved that the captain no longer seems to be blaming himself.

Kirk smiles half-heartedly. "Is it me, or does stuff like this happen way too often?"

Spock cannot help but agree. "Perhaps you should endeavour not to go looking for trouble," he suggests, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't go looking for trouble." Spock just stares at him; Kirk waves a hand. "Well, not often. Trouble just seems to find me." He presses the intercom. "Chekov, lay in a course for Babel, warp six."

"Warp six, sir," comes the reply.

Kirk breaks the connection, and turns to look at Spock. "How long will it take us?"

"At warp six, five point four days." They will arrive in time for the conference after all, despite the detour.

Kirk nods. "Well, I guess we'd better get back to work."

They head back towards the bridge, but halfway there, Kirk orders the lift to sickbay. "We should tell the other you that we're on course for Babel."

Spock nods. "Logical."

Kirk smiles at the compliment. As they step out of the turbolift, he says, "Y'know, it's kind of strange being around them now."

Spock frowns. "Now that you are aware of their relationship?"

"Well, yeah. I keep wondering how it happened."

Their arrival at sickbay prevents any further discussion of the subject. They find the ambassador sitting up in bed reading a PADD. He is alone. "Jim has gone to get something to eat," he explains. "Is there something you want?"

"Just to tell you that we're on course for Babel, and should be there in about five days," Kirk reports.

"Five-point-four," Spock corrects.

Kirk shoots him a look before turning back to the elder Spock. "So, when are they letting you out of here?"

"This afternoon, if all goes well." He lays down the PADD. "I admit to looking forward to a change of scenery."

"Yeah; I don't think I'd want to be stuck in here. Especially with Bones constantly sticking me with hyposprays."

The elder Spock raises an eyebrow. "Is that a common occurrence?"

"Common enough that I think he actually enjoys it," Kirk replies, smiling.

The ambassador offers them both the Vulcan salute. Spock returns it, then watches as Kirk makes a valiant effort to get his fingers into the correct position. He finally admits defeat and shrugs sheepishly. "I have proof that I'll manage it someday." He looks at Spock, tilting his head in the direction of the door. "C'mon, Spock."

As they head back to the turbolift, Kirk turns to him. "I don't suppose you could teach me how to do that salute thing?"

Spock doesn't answer for a moment. To teach Kirk how to do the salute properly he would have to touch his hands. Does he know what he is asking?

Still, either way, it is a way to get closer to the captain, and thus ascertain whether his emotions towards Kirk are genuine. "I would not be averse to that. Perhaps tonight, after chess?"

Kirk's grin is blinding. "Absolutely."

Kirk runs into Uhura as he is deciding what to have for lunch and can't resist following her back to her table, sitting down opposite. "I take it you want something?" she asks, looking up from her meal.

"I want to know why you broke up with Spock."

"I think you should talk to him." She looks down at her plate, avoiding Kirk's gaze.

"You think I haven't tried that?" Kirk says, ignoring the voice in his head telling him to leave well enough alone. "You two seemed happy. What happened?"

She absently moves her food around her plate. "We were happy. Everything was fine." She looks up at him. "But when you're in a relationship with someone, things should really be better than 'fine'."

"So there's no chance of the two of you getting back together?" Kirk asks. He wants Spock to be happy, but he can't help the part of him that is selfish enough to hope she says no.

"I really doubt it." Uhura narrows her eyes. "Why are you so interested, anyway?"

Kirk blinks, mind working furiously. "He's my friend." He stands abruptly and leaves the cafeteria before she can ask anything else, forgetting that he hasn't eaten yet.

If Uhura and Spock really are broken up, then maybe he has a chance. He has a sudden urge to talk to his counterpart, and heads towards sickbay.

He doesn't find them there, but he does find McCoy. Kirk decides he can put off his conversation with his counterpart for a little while, and besides, he kind of wants his best friend's opinion on the whole situation.

"You know Uhura and Spock have broken up?" he begins, flopping down in his usual chair in McCoy's office.

"I'd heard a rumour." McCoy stares at him. "Does this mean you're going to do something about your ridiculous crush on the hobgoblin?"

"I do not have a crush," Kirk protests.

McCoy shrugs. "Call it what you want."

Kirk glares at him, then sighs in defeat. "What do you think I should do?"

"How'n the hell should I know? I'm a doctor, not a relationship counsellor."

Kirk chews on a thumbnail as he thinks. "They've just broken up. It seems kind of tacky to come on to him now."

McCoy gives him a look. "Remember Sarah Miller? You slept with her about six hours after she broke up with her boyfriend."

Kirk frowns and waves a hand. "This is different."

McCoy raises his eyebrows. "I'm intrigued."

Kirk pushes back the chair until he's balancing on two legs. "It's just… with the other him and me. That's what we could have, if I don't screw this up." He lets the chair crash forward. "It's like I've been given a glimpse of the future."

"Did you learn anything useful from your talk with them?"

Kirk smiles. "They seem really happy. And they have this Vulcan bond thing that sounds kind of awesome."

"'Vulcan bond thing'?"

Kirk shrugs. "I don't know what it's actually called, but it's probably the reason that Old Spock's still alive. The other me could feel that he needed help." He leans forward. "You know how it seems like they can read each other's minds? Well, they actually can."

McCoy frowns. "Sounds like hell to me."

"Well, I think it's cool."

McCoy rolls his eyes. "You would."

Kirk slaps his hands down on the desk decisively. "I'm gonna go talk to my counterpart," he says, standing up. "See if he has any advice." He can't resist the opportunity to make McCoy uncomfortable, so adds, "Or any tips for seducing stubborn Vulcans."

His friend sighs heavily. "If you learn any, do me a favour and don't tell me."

Kirk smirks. "You got it."

As he walks to the elder Spock's cabin, Kirk can't help thinking about the differences between himself and his counterpart. He'd always assumed that the alternate him must have had a better life than his own – after all, he'd had a father who'd actually lived past the first ten minutes of his life. But then he'd gone and looked up Tarsus IV and started to think that maybe he was wrong. (Because Kirk's childhood had pretty much sucked, but nothing in it compares to witnessing the massacre of 4000 people at the age of thirteen.) He remembers the haunted look in Jim's eyes, and no longer feels jealous.

It isn't until he buzzes for entry at the ambassador's quarters that it occurs to Kirk that he might be interrupting something. Nonetheless, the door opens almost instantly. He pokes his head inside, and sees the elder Spock sitting cross-legged on the floor, apparently meditating. Kirk looks round for his counterpart and, finding him sitting on the bed, wanders over, trying not to disturb Spock. "Hey. Can we talk?"

Jim stands up. "Sure; I was getting a little bored, anyway. Plus Spock keeps complaining that I'm distracting him."

"You have not convinced me that it is not intentional, Jim," comes the response from the other side of the room. Kirk turns to see the elder Spock regarding them both warmly. His eyes are drawn to the medical bracelet attached to Spock's wrist; clearly, sickbay is still keeping tabs on him.

Jim walks over to him and crouches down until they're face to face. "Are you going to be okay on your own?" he asks quietly.

"I will be fine." Kirk gets the sense that they're communicating telepathically again as he watches.

Eventually Jim nods and stands. "Right. We'll leave you to your meditation, then."

As they leave the cabin, Kirk says, "My quarters?"

"If you want. I admit I'm curious to see how they've changed."

Kirk leads the way through the corridors. When they get to his quarters, he taps in the code and gestures for his counterpart to enter.

He sits down on the bed as Jim explores the room, showing particularly interest in the few real books that Kirk keeps on a shelf over his desk. Eventually, he comes to sit down next to Kirk. "It's not as different as I'd expected; I guess that makes sense."

He rubs his hands together. "I assume you want to talk about Spock?"

"Yeah." Kirk shifts until his back is pressed against the wall. "Uhura broke up with him."

"Really?" Jim frowns. "Is he okay?"

"As far as I can tell." Kirk shrugs. Then, curious, he asks, "Who was Uhura with in your reality?"

Jim laughs. "Oh, no. Spock would kill me if I started telling you about the future." He sighs. "Then again, he'd probably kill me for what I'm about to tell you." He meets Kirk's eyes. "Your Spock. Do you love him?"

Kirk shrugs again, feeling uncomfortable. "I don't know. I like him a lot – enough to want not to screw this up."

Jim stares at him. "Before you do anything, you should know what you're getting into. Vulcans are monogamous, and they bond for life. You have to be certain that you're not going to regret it."

"Did you regret it?" Kirk asks.

"Not for one second." They stare at each other for a moment. "All right, I get your point." Jim sighs. "The only thing I do regret is how long it took us. Maybe you two can get there faster."

Kirk kicks off his shoes and brings his feet up onto the bed. "So what do I need to know?"

"Well, you're starting off with an advantage that I didn't have." Off Kirk's confused look, he adds, "Your Spock already knows what it's like to be in a relationship with a human."

Kirk stares at him blankly. "You're saying the fact that he dated Uhura is a good thing?"

"The fact that he dated anyone is a good thing." Jim sighs. "My Spock never let anyone in like that. That's part of what took us so long. He was so focused on being Super-Vulcan that when he realised he loved me, he had no idea how to deal with it. Your Spock might actually tell you about it instead of running away."

Kirk frowns. "I don't even know if he's interested in me, and you're talking about love."

"Yeah, I guess I'm reaching a little," Jim concedes. "I just can't believe the timelines have changed so much that it won't happen between you two. I mean, look at this!" Jim gestures at the room. "The same ship, the same crew…." He grins at Kirk. "The same captain. If all of that's the same, I can't see how this won't be."

Kirk can't help grinning back. "You sound so certain."

Jim leans back. "I am. Him and me… it felt right. Like we were meant to be together." He taps his fingers against the bedcovers. "Let me ask you something. Does he let you touch him?"

"Yeah."

"And he insists on going with you on away missions? And then does stupid things like get hurt trying to protect you?"

Kirk frowns. "Yeah, he does."

Jim smiles. "Then, from my experience, he's definitely interested in you. Though I don't know if he's figured that out yet." He is silent for a few moments, apparently thinking deeply. "My first piece of advice would be to take it slowly, especially if he's just broken up with someone else. Are you prepared for that?"

Kirk nods. "I think so." He's wanted this, wanted Spock for months now, and now that he actually has a chance he's determined not to screw it up. Maybe McCoy was right and he does have a ridiculous crush. "There's something I've been wondering about," he admits.

"Yes?"

Kirk shifts slightly. "Well, I guess I thought…." He frowns. "Aren't same-sex relationships kind of illogical?"

Jim grins. "I thought the same thing, once. But if you think about it, it's perfectly logical – why limit yourself to only half the population? Same-sex relationships aren't exactly the norm, but there's no stigma against it." Frowning, he adds, "I suppose it might be different now, with the need to repopulate the species, but it shouldn't matter in Spock's case. He can't have kids."

"Because he's half-human?"

"Yeah; they had enough trouble creating a viable human-Vulcan hybrid. Making him fertile wasn't exactly their highest priority."

Kirk has wondered a few times over the past months if Spock might decide to leave them all and go back to New Vulcan; the news that he isn't likely to leave the Enterprise to go make a bunch of pointy-eared babies is something of a relief.

Jim claps his hands together. "Right. Advice. Let's see…. Half the time when he claims to not understand some figure of speech, he's just doing it to mess with people. And any time he starts a sentence with 'Vulcans don't,' bear in mind that he's only half-Vulcan."

"Yeah; I learned that at 'Vulcans don't lie.'"

Jim gives him a few more useful pointers before they move onto other topics. Kirk tells his counterpart about some of their most bizarre and interesting missions, including the one where Spock saved his life. In response, Jim advises him not to accept promotion – apparently it's boring as hell. Kirk has no intention of leaving the Enterprise as long as he has any choice in the matter, but takes the advice to heart anyway.

Finally Kirk quietly brings up the events of the past few days, and finds that Jim's advice actually helps him. "One of the hardest lessons to learn is that you can't save everyone. You have to find some way of dealing with that, or you'll never make it in this job." He meets Kirk's eyes. "What happened wasn't your fault."

"That's what Spock said."

Jim smiles. "He's a smart man." Checking the time, he stands. "I should probably be getting back." He crosses the room and picks a book off the shelf. "Can I borrow this?"

Kirk hesitates; those books belonged to his father. But, of all people, surely he can trust his counterpart. "Yeah, I guess," he says, standing and stretching.

Jim tucks the book under one arm and heads for the door. He pauses just before leaving, and smiles. "Good luck."