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4 - No one Else

Bella

What on earth had possessed me into saying yes? And in front of Edward? Why had I done that? I sighed and rolled over in my bed. I saw Jacob sleeping soundly. My. Fiancee. I thought of his proposal and nearly gagged. I glared over at the stupid over sized teddy bear that sat happily on my vanity station chair, smiling at me happily. "You're being given to the neighbours dog tomorrow morning" I whispered to it in the darkness. Smiling maliciously. I shook my head to clear it. No need to take my bad mood out on the stupid doll.

I peered over his shoulder and saw the time. 2:49. I'd only been asleep for a couple hours. I was exhausted. But felt restless. So I lay awake and watched Jacob sleep. Trying to list the reasons that I was marrying him.

He's sweet... Not compared to Edward...

He cares... Not compared to Edward...

He good looking... Not compared to Edward...

Charlie approves... He would approve of Edward too...

Everything I thought of, my mind knew, he was nothing compared to Edward. My mind was going in endless loops. Everything I could think off, Edward was better. I was starting to get the impression that if he burst out singing, 'anything you can do, I can do better,' I'd believe him!

But he was my boss, I couldn't have him! He was 'forbidden.' It just made him so much more appealing!

There was a possibility I could have him if we kept it secret, but the only problem was, he didn't love me. I was sure I loved him. But wasn't certain. it was most likely physically attraction, like on his firts day. But still... He was smart, sweet, handsome... I knew everything about him. And I liked everything.

The only reason that I was marrying Jacob and giving up on Edward was, Jacob was there for me. There was no one else. I needed someone to help me when Charlie was sick and I was worried. I didn't want to bother Edward with my problems. He was my boss not my agony aunt. He didn't want a stressed relationship like the one he would get with me.

Eventually, I fell asleep. But that didn't stop the dreams that came. The dreams were even worse than the thought that all lead to Edward. Because my dreams were still of Edward, but they teased me. Almost like saying, here he is! But you don't want him, you have Jacob.

"Bella," Edward called. His voice was deeply seductive and he stalked towards me. "Bella. I want you, Bella. I want you so badly."

"Then you can have me," I gasped.

"No I can't. You're not mine to have, your his!" he whispered and backed away, turning towards the door.

"No, Edward, you can have me. I want you to have me!" I cried, walking close behind him and tried to get him to turn around. But no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn't budge. I walked around to face him, he'd turned the other way. "Edward, look at me! I want you too! Please, Edward! Just look at me!"

"Damn, Bella! You don't want me! You can't lie! I know you don't want me! You don't love me," Edward barked, finally turning to face me. His eyes were wet with tears, a few had fell, but, otherwise, he looked livid.

"But I do-."
"No you don't Bella! You never had! If you had, you wouldn't have married Jacob!" Edward closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose. He opened his eyes and started talking again. "Bella, you knew I loved you when you married him. You knew damn well you could have had me. But you didn't want me. You wanted him."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry," I whimpered, reaching out for him, trying to hug him, but he pushed my arms away. "I love you, I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I didn't want to hurt you! I'm sorry! I didn't know!" I was crying now. I tried again and again to wrap my arms around Edward. Each time he pushed them away.

"You may love me, but I don't love you," he growled.

"But you, you said that you wanted me!"

"Want and love isn't always the same thing. You have to remember that. You wanted me all those years ago. Even on your wedding day, you still wanted me. Do you remember, walking down the isle, all you could thing about was the sinfulthings that I had done to you the night before. It didn't mean you loved me. No, not at all. You just wanted me for pleasure. Not for my love. And I'm not going to do that to you. Because I know you love me, and it would be wrong. It'll hurt you. And I won't do that to you. I'm sorry Bella." Edward stepped around me and began walking to the door. I tried to follow. But with every step I took, he got furthur away.

"Edward! Please, come back, Edward! I love you," I screamed. I shouted and screamed, but nothing stopped him. All I could do was stand, crying my eyes out, watching him walk away.

"Bella!" Jacob said, awaking me from my nightmare. I opened my eyes and saw Jacob looking at me, he looked worried. But all I could see was Edward rejecting me. Maybe that's what the dream was saying. If I did try to get together with Edward that I would be rejected. "Bella, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

I burst out into tears. Jacob was in love with me. He cared for me. He was worried about me, and all I could think about how I wanted another man! I didn't want Jake's arms around me I wanted Edwards. I sicken myself! I'm worse than Slutsly!

Jacob pulled me to his chest and whispered sweet nothings into my ear. But it didn't help. The tears wouldn't stop. I cried for hours, when ever they started to stop, Jacob would ask me if I was ok, or what was wrong, or tell me he loved me and it would begin a new wave of hysteria. I was pathetic!

Edward

I was determined to get Bella. I'd managed once before, I can do it again. Hopefully... I was rushed into work, eagar to see Bella, I was expecting normal, cheerful Bella. I got the complete oposite.

She barely spoke, whenever she looked at me, if I caught her, she'd sigh and look down at her work. She seemed sad.

But why would she be sad? Jacob? Suddenly I remembered, when she'd left the office early, the day she got back together with Jacob, I presume, she'd got a phone call was that the problem? What could it have been though?

I thought long and hard all day, but I didn't get the slightest clue! So when Bella came into my office, handing me some paperwork, I took the chance and asked.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong," she whispered, if I hadn't known there was something wrong, I would have, just by the sound of pain in her voice. I knew everything about her. I also knew that she wasn't effected by many things, enough that it would make her leave work early. She was just like that! Hard working and selfless. This must be big...

"I know that's not true. I know you're in pain right now, and I want to help you. Is it Jacob? Is it something about the engagement? Tell me Bella, please I want to know," I rammbled. I looked up at Bella. She looked almost angry that I was nosing about in her business. But it didn't go without notice that her eyes were watering. "Bells, please tell me. I want to help..."

"I don't want to say. Not here. Not with all of the people that pass by this office, I don't want anybody knowing," she replied. That was understandable, if it was really as big as it seemed, I wouldn't want anybody to know if I were in her place.

"How about you come over mine tonight, I'll cook-," Bella looked at me with wide eyes. She'd tried my cooking. Or the attempt at cooking. "-I'll get take out, we can talk, we haven't done that in a long time. There's always someone else. It would be nice for it just to be us, don't you think?" *before you marry dog-breath* I added in my head.

Bella nodded and smiled. "What time?"

"Seven-ish."

"I'll be there," she finished and left me to do my work. It was easier to concentrate now that I knew I was going to have my questions answered within six hours. But I knew when I invited her, there was more reason to it than that. I was going to fight. I had to have her. Of course, it was going to be a little harder now that she was engaged. But I could do it. Right?..

At Seven O'Clock...

Bella arrived promptly at seven, she seemed just like she had when I'd talked to her in my office. Almost distant, but she smiled at me, and talked as she usually would. I had a funny feeling though, that she was just acting on my behalf.

We'd finished our dinner and sat and talked for a while before I decided that I would ask my previous questions.

"Bella, will you please tell me what's going on? Little over a week ago, you were ready to hire an assassin to get rid of Jacob, and now you're engaged to him? What happened to change how much you hate him?" I didn't understand how she could have hated him so much, but still be planning to marry him. It was insane!

"Charlie's got cancer."

Ah. So that's why.. wait..what? that makes no sense.. "I'm so sorry Bells."

"Yeah. Well, Jacob called me that day, so I asked him if he could come over. I just didn't want to be alone. He sat there and listen to everything. He told me what I needed to hear. That it would be alright, that Charlie'd got through cancer once, he could do it again. He was there for me. There was no one else..." She trailed off in the end and burst out into tears.

I automatically pulled her into my arms and tried to sooth her. But nothing works.

"Shh, Bella, everything will be ok. I'm always here for you if you need to talk."

Bella unwrapped herself from my arms and stood up, her back to me. "It's not the same..."

"What do you mean?" I asked. What on earth wasn't the same.

"You and Jacob, you can't be there for me the way Jacob can. You aren't there for me," she replied turning around and looking me dead in the eye. It broke my heart to hear her say I couldn't help her. "There's nobody else who can do it, they can't comfort me properly. I just needed to feel loved. Other than Jacob, no-one else makes me feel loved. No-one else loves me, there's no-one else!" Bella whimpered.

"Bella, that's not true..." I growled. How was she so oblivious to the fact I loved her?

"Who then? Enlighten me! Because you seem to know so much better than me!"

"Bella, me! I've always been there for you! Think about it! Who was the one who was there at three o'clock in the morning because your date went off with someone else? Me! Who was there to comfort you when you and Jacob split up? Me! Who gave you a shoulder to cry on when things went wrong? Me! Who was the one who listened to how happy you were that things were going well with someone, no matter how much it hurt? Me. I've always been there for you Bella. I want to be there for you Bella. I want you to let me be there for you like you let Jacob. But I can't help it. I watch you, day after day. Happy with some other man. Just praying to God they screw up, so at least the a slight flicker of hope that you and I may be together. Because they don't deserve you. Hell, I don't deserve you! But, I know that I'd be so much better for you that any of them. And it makes me angry, that scum like them, get the chance to be with you, even though half the time, they have another girl that they go home with! You barely even give me the time of day! Not a second glance! I bet not one thought that passes through your head is 'maybe I should give Edward a chance?'," I cried. I need to get this all off my chest. But I also wanted to know a couple things. So I took a deep breath and calmed down. I look over at Bella, her eye were wide, her breath coming to fast and she looked like she'd seen a ghost. She'd really had no idea! "Don't you remember me at all?"

"You're Edward Cullen. My boss and my best friend."

I let out a small, humorless laugh. "Nice to know I'm remembered," I said sarcastically. "How can you forget?"

"What on earth are you talking about?"
"I'm not remembered, great..."

"Just tell me!" She demanded.

"You'll remember. Some day. You will. You'll remember me for something other than your boss and your best friend," I said stubbornly.

"Edward, incase you haven't noticed, I'm getting married, I won't have the chance for something to happen to remember you for."

"But we already have..." I murmured. "I won't be just your boss and your best friend anyway. I'll be the boss and the best friend that fell in love with you, the one that's waiting for Jacob to screw up, just like he does, so that I get a chance."

"Edward, you're my boss. It wouldn't be allowed. We wouldn't be allowed anyway, even if I gave you the chance," Bella informed me. I sighed. I knew that already. It wouldn't have stopped me. It was clear I loved her, and that was it.

"I wouldn't tell anyone," I muttered, standing up and walking over to Bella. I pulled her into my arms, just to give her a hug, even though I wanted more. "I'm sorry Bella. But I can't help the way I feel. It won't change any thing between us though, will it?"

"I...don't...know," she replied. Unsure.

"I'm sorry Bella, forget I said anything. I don't want anything to change. I'm happy how we are. Honestly. Just forget everything!" I demanded.

"I can't forget what you said, Edward. I won't."

"Bella, nothing good can come of that! Forget it! It's better to be your friend that nothing," I said. I was panicking, if things were uncomfortable between us, it would have been my fault, and I would lose Bella, full stop.

"Edward. Relax, nothing bad'll happen. Everything'll be fine. Trust me." Bella's gaze met mind, and I found my self drowning in the chocolate brown colour.

Before I could even realise what I was doing, I had pressed my lips to hers, kissing her with all the passion and love that had been building up in me from the last time I kissed her, when we were 13 in summer camp.

Her lips didn't move, that made me worry. I'd gone to far. This kiss, the best thing that had happened to me, and it had ruined mine and Bella's relationship no doubt.

I was angry with myself for doing it. Part of my brain was telling me to pull away and beg for her to forgive me, that I didn't mean to, and that I didn't know what came over me. Another part told me to make the most of it and kiss her for as long as I can. But I opted for the first.

She still hadn't kissed me back, but she hadn't pushed me away. That was the only thing that encouraged me to keep going.

I was about to pull away, when I felt her lips beginning to move with mine. She was kissing me back. I felt like I could fly!

Bella was kissing me back!

Bella was kissing me back!

Bella was fucking kissing me back!

One of my hands went to the small of her back, moulding her to my shape, the other tangled in her hair and held her lips on mine. Bella's hands clasped themselved around the back of my neck, not allowing me to pull away until we both found it completely necessary.

We broke away, panting. I think we both were shocked by what we just did. I leant my forehead against hers and sighed.

"I've waited for that for over twelve years," I whispered. Bella looked up at me, obvious sorrow in her eyes.

"Edward, you seem to think that we knew each other when we were younger. But if we had, I'm sure I would have remembered you," she muttered remorsefully. "I'm sorry. But I think you're mistaken. But it still can't change anything anyway. I'm still engaged, you're still my boss."

"Even if you aren't her, I don't care. If you aren't her, then, to hell with her! You are the only one I want. The only one I need. The only one that I fall in love with again each and every day. I love you Isabella Marie Swan. That won't change. Whether you marry Jacob or not, I just need you to know what opions you have. Cullen men don't give up. It the secret to our success. That's how Emmett got Rosalie. How Carlise got Esme. How Jasper got Alice. And there's one thing I'm sure of right now, even though everything else seems wrong. I'm not going to give up. I'm going to do everything in my power to make you mine. You. Will. Be. Mine!" I was certain. I didn't care if It sounded demanding, maybe even threatening. She needed to know that I wasn't going to give up like some average man. I was a Cullen. And she was mine.

Bella

Everything he was saying was almost too much to handle! He loved me and he was going to fight for me. He reminded me of the hero in a fairytale where the princess is marrying somebody, and he was the trusty stable boy-best friend who had been in love with her for years. All he had to do was make her realise that she belonged with him.

All I wanted right now was for me to have said no to Jacob and to know what on Earth Edward was talking about when he claimed he knew me!

"Edward, I'm so sorry. But, I'm engaged. I'm getting married. You need to except that-."

"No..."

"Please, don't make this harder than it already is. Edward. I'm really really sorry about this. Believe me. If I could turn back time, I would have said no to Jacob. I would have been running straight to you..."

"You can still do that! Bella, I'll welcome you with open arms!" He insisted.

"I can't do that with Jacob. Not with everything he's done for me. I owe it to him... I'm in love with him." No you're not... you can't lie to yourself anymore. You can't just pretend. You love Edward. All you have to do is look in his eyes to see. You always have been. "I'm sorry."

"Bella, I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it in your kiss, and in your touch. Fair enough you're in love with Jacob. But I can see I your eyes, he isn't the only one you love. That's right isn't it Bella? You love me too. You love me more. I can read you like a book, there's no point in denying it. I know you do..."

He knew me too well. He knew me inside out. Knew everything about me. Just like I knew everything about him. He and I were the same, almost identical in our likes and dislikes. It seemed like we were soul mates. Like destiny brought us together. And now I was ripping us back apart.

"I love you Edward. I really do. So much. But it can't change anything..."

"You don't love me enough to break Jacob's heart." He spoke it like a fact. That upset me deeply. He knew I couldn't. But one thing he didn't know about me was that I'd break Jacobs hear 100 times over to be with him. But I loved him too much to ruin his reputation and his job.

"That's not true. I would do it 100 time over for you. But you deserve better that me," I informed him honestly. "We can't be together."

"Not one moment of weakness?"

"None," I said stubbornly.

A mischievous smile spread across his face, I automatically knew he was planning something. "Not even if I did this?" Edward seized me by the waist and latched his lips onto mine, thrushing his tongue into my mouth, exploring my mouth. He surprised me by the urgency in his kiss and the grip at which he held me. So tightly, as if her were afraid that if he let go, I'd disappear. Edward ran his hand down my legs and hitched them around his hips, one at a time and presses me closer to him. My hands locked themselves into his hair and held his face to mine. I wanted him. Badly.

I could feel just how much he wanted me. I was vividly aware of it. As was I to the signs of my arousal.

Edward walked forward, pinning me against a wall or a door.

"Are you sure that you don't want one night of weakness, Bella?" He asked seductively. His voice was practically dripping with lust. It made him so much more desirable! God how I wanted him. Never mind one night of weakness, I wanted a lifetime of them. I had to bit my tongue to stop myself from shouting it out. Edward trailed wet kisses down my jaw and on my neck, sucking, kissing, biting and licking one particular spot the most, no doubt giving me a hickey. My only worry was what if someone saw that? What if Jacob saw that? He'd know straight away that he was not the one to give it to me.

"We can't," I whimpered. Edward growled and bit down on my neck. Hard. I gasped, half in shock, half in pleasure.

"Please Bella? One night? Please? Just sex. No regrets. No restraints. Free to just be ourselves and let our emotions take control. Just forget eveything. No Jacob. No engagements. No job. Just you and me. One night. To do what feels right, natural. One amazing, carefree night. Please Bella? I want you. So badly..." Edward pleaded, saying the words from the dream.

I pulled his face back up to mine and kissed him forcefully, not feeling once ounce of regret. I knew I probably wouldn't even care in the morning. Wouldn't care if he marked me as his tonight. Wouldn't care if I was caught leaving Edwards place tomorrow morning,I knew some of the more desperate office girls deliberately drove by his building in the mornings. Hell I wouldn't even regret if Jacob found out. Not at this moment anyway. Being like this, with Edward, it just felt right. Or as he had put it. Natural. Because it was.

"One night," I whispered and began unbuttoning his shirtry

Right now I felt like the world could burst into flames. Everything could perish, and I wouldn't notice. There was nothing but me and Edward.

It felt so right. I never wanted this night to end. I wanted to stay like this forever.

"Make love to me...".....it was official...I was going straight to hell.

Things can only get Better! I mean worse! Bella and Edward!? She's cheating?

He's SOO worth it though...

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