Disclaimer: This fanwork is based on characters and situations created and owned by Minekura Kazuya. No copyright infringement is intended or implied. No profit made.

A/N: These were written for a meme, but I liked them, so I thought I would post them here, as well.

5 Reasons

...Why Gojyo isn't allowed to drive

1: Subordination

Years ago, when Hakuryuu had first met Cho Hakkai, there had been a strange peiod of adjustment. Hakuryuu had demonstrated his abilities, and Hakkai had fumbled his way to an understanding of what those abilities meant. In the end, they had settled into a comfortable situation with which they were both quite happy. Hakkai treated the little dragon with care and respect, which earned him a dogged loyalty and willingness to do almost anything that was requested, in turn.

Almost, Hakuryuu noted, did not mean absolutely.

The third time the ikkou and their assorted belongings wound up on the ground while Hakuryuu flapped serenely above them, Hakkai got the hint.

"Gojyo," Hakkai said gently, laying his hand on Gojyo's shoulder, "Perhaps we should just give in for now? I'll have a talk with Hakuryuu later."

Almost did not mean that he would allow Hakkai's obviously inferior mate the privilege of driving.

2: Comfort

There had been times when, for one reason or another, Hakkai was unable to drive. Since Sanzo was likely to get them all killed, it was usually Gojyo who took over at such times. This was annoyance enough, certainly, but Hakuryuu could manage to swallow that from time to time and when absolutely necessary.

What really bothered was the complete rearrangement of seating. Since Hakkai simply refused the backseat and Sanzo wouldn't sit behind Gojyo, every one of them sat somewhere different.

Sanzo's bony ass was supposed to bruise Hakuryuu's left shoulder, not his haunch.

3. Navigation

Gojyo had an amazing capacity to find towns and villages, even when there were none on the planned route. Goku openly admitted to thinking that Gojyo was awesome in this regard. Hakkai and Sanzo chided or complained, as their natures dictated, about the meandering and the extra time it was going to take to reach their destination.

Late at night, when everyone laid their heads on soft pillows with the promise of a good breakfast in the morning, Gojyo was the only one not secretly thankful that he had been behind the wheel that day.

4. Empathy

Gojyo, everyone would have agreed (secretly, in Sanzo's case), had an uncanny sense of Hakkai.

Hakkai had a finely tuned sense of Hakuryuu. He was batshit insane behind the wheel occasionally, but only when the little dragon was capable of handling it. He felt that it kept the rest of the ikkou on their toes, and that it was a good thing for Hakuryuu to get a little strenuous exercise from time to time. This is what he told everyone, anyway.

When Hakkai was unable to drive (and assuming that they could outwit or incapacitate Sanzo well enough), Gojyo would 'take over' for Hakkai.

Third-hand intentions rarely translate well, though at least they usually had a roof over their heads while they all recovered.

5. Sanzo

As if the monk wasn't bitchy enough the rest of the time, being forced to share the back seat with the ball of enthusiasm that was Goku made him extra fun to be around. Hakkai had once been forced to confiscate Sanzo's harisen, for fear that both Gojyo and Goku would bleed out from paper cuts to the head.

...Why Hakkai is a damn cock-tease

1. Massage

"How are you feeling now, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked, his fingers moving with practiced ease over Gojyo's tense, bruised back. Gojyo replied with a deep, appreciative groan. Hakkai laughed, "That's good." One more run down Gojyo's spine, and then knuckles pressed hard into a sensitive spot, and Gojyo's eyes flew wide open. Hakkai picked himself up from his perch on Gojyo's hips. "I suppose I should go tend to supper, then."

"I'll get you for that," Gojyo growled, shifting his hips to accommodate his sudden and very insistent erection.

Hakkai opened the door to their room and threw a wicked smile over his shoulder. "Naturally," he said sweetly, and closed the door behind him.

2. Psychological Warfare

Hakkai, Gojyo decided, was entirely too fucking intelligent. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't figure out how the bastard had managed to pull this off.

There was simply no fucking reason why the word yakitori should give Gojyo a hard-on, damn it.

3. Dubious Expediency

Hakkai pointed out that if Gojyo hadn't thrown what amounted to a tantrum over never having any responsibility, then Gojyo would not have been carrying the money. Gojyo grudgingly agreed to this, but he stubbornly refused to budge on the fact that Hakkai didn't have to reach into Gojyo's pocket to retrieve it.

4. Complementary Motion

After a couple of years of living together, Hakkai had learned to move around Gojyo. This much, Gojyo got. It made sense, and it worked both ways. What he didn't get was how Hakkai would occasionally do without even asking him to move. What drove him absolutely fucking nuts was the way he did this, pressing and brushing against Gojyo on his way to get this or grab that. What made him positively batshit fucking insane was the fact that Hakkai reserved this behaviour for whenever he'd invited Sanzo and Goku over for supper.

5. Cooking

It happened so gradually that Gojyo hadn't even noticed. Over the time they spent together Hakkai had managed to turn a joke or a pun, here and there, using food or cooking terms. Gojyo tended to remember them, so that he could turn them back on Hakkai now and then. It was kind of fun...until the day that Gojyo realised that the sum total of this joking around was that now he couldn't look at Hakkai reading a cookbook without wanting to fuck him stupid.