Author's Note: Thank you everyone who reviewed, favorited, and added this story to alert! ;) Especially kit572, animaluvr4life, PurebloodPrincess97, Khuronji, Willow-Chan (m'wife), Peaceful Dragon Rose, Maiden Masquerade, kichikoneko, XIIIAnonymous, AllSheNeedsIsLove, JigokuYume, and AkumaStrife for reviewing! Your guys are the best!
I ended up rewriting this chapter a few times, and I got really behind on my update schedule when I tried to take a short break after the Holidays. Key word being "tried". I'm so very sorry for my lateness, especially after so many of you were kind enough to add this story to alert.
Warnings: Characters turned into cats, boy love, and OH NOES IT'S DEMYX AND ZEXION. D: RUN, RUN AWAY! Plus major pedo-ness from Axel.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters. If I did, then it would be rated W for What The Fuck (and nudity).
Roxas was hiding under the couch. Xion and Naminé did not need to hide under the couch, because the first thing Axel said to them was not, "Hey, are you always that sexy, or are you just trying to impress me?" which Roxas did not understand at first, but led to a very disturbing conversation in which they learned the definition of sexy, prostitute, homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, mating, rape, fetish, and food play. To say the least, the little blonde kitten was a bit disturbed.
"Come on, Roxas! I was just kidding around! " Axel peeked under the couch yet again, and Roxas could only feel extremely grateful that the older cat was too big to squeeze into the small space between the carpeted floor and the couch.
"Go away!" he cried and wiggled further back.
"Roxy, baby! Cut me some slack! " Axel pleaded, and if cats could pout, both would probably be doing so.
"Noooo! My mind is forever scarred because of you! Xion, Naminé! Help me! " He heard amused purrs from somewhere outside of the couch, and narrowed his eyes. Those traitors; purring at his misfortune!
"Roxas, you can't stay under there forever, " Naminé tried to negotiate, and poked her head under the couch after making her place beside Axel.
"Please, Roxy? I already said I was just joking! Well, not about the cute part. You really are adorable, and it's not rape if you're high enough on catnip to think they wanted it, " Axel tried to help. And we all know his definition of "help" is "make things worse for your own amusement".
"Stop calling me that!" Roxas wailed, and decided to ignore the rape comment. Probably because his brain could no longer handle such idiocy (and a full grown male flirting with him) any longer.
"Why not? It's cute. "
"No it's not! " Roxas protested, and thus accidentally started the most ridiculous argument known to man and animal alike.
"Yes it is!"
"Not it's not!"
"Yes it iiiis!"
"No it's nooooot!"
"Fine, whatever you say… Rocksass, " Axel gave him a feral grin, and shot away when a small, furry paw with unsheathed claws tried to introduce itself to his nose. "You're going to have to come out of there eventually~ The humans will be home soon~" the cat purred in the closest thing to a sing-song voice a feline could achieve. Roxas bared his teeth, because he knew it was true, and staying under the couch for so long was starting to get uncomfortable. Plus, he was pretty sure that half eaten, barely identifiable sandwich had moved towards him a few times.
"You better not do any of the things you told us about to me… " Roxas grumbled, and gave the sandwich a suspicious glare before he wiggled his way out from under the couch. Expecting himself to pop out into the light, he hissed unhappily when his lower half become stuck. The blonde kitten pulled at the gray-blue carpeting as he tried to free his butt from the demonic, kitten eating, beat up, black leather contraption, and ended up having Axel pull him out by the scruff of his neck.
"Easier in than out, hmm?" the male cat purred, and Roxas gave a spluttering hiss when he felt a rough tongue lick the top of his head.
"Ew, gross! I can clean myself!" the blonde kitten grumbled, and jumped away from Axel in order to hide behind his sisters in a totally manly and dignified way. Totally.
"He wasn't cleaning you, Roxas. He was tasting you, " Xion teased, amused by the two males' playful banter. Or at least playful for Axel and terrified for Roxas. Her brother shot her a glare for daring to find his misery, suffering, torment, shattering of his soul, breaking of his heart, and decent into darkness so amusing.
"Mmm, tastes like virgin, " Axel teased, swiping his tongue around his jaws. Roxas had no idea what the word meant, but from his experience with the older cat, he knew to just glare and stick his tongue out. Axel smirked and leaned closer to the two kittens, much to Roxas's distaste. "Babe, if I learned anything from human television, it's that I could show you much better ways to u… " his lazy drawl broke off at the sound of the door being unlocked announced the humans' return.
"Hey, guys! We're home! " Kairi called; opening the door and grinning down at the four cats.
"You don't have to tell them that, Kai'. It's not like they can understand you, " Riku sighed, and closed the door behind them.
"I know, but it's still nice to greet them when you come home! " the wine haired girl protested, before returning her attention to the resident cats. "Hey, are you three getting along well with Axie? " she asked them, and leaned down to pet all four before picking up Naminé. "So you've made friends already, huh? Isn't that great, Sora?" Noticing the silence, Kairi turned around and scanned the apartment in confusion. "… Sora?" No answer. "Riku, where's Sora?" she asked her silver haired friend.
"I don't know. He was just behind me a minute ago, " he replied with bored shrug, and opened the door to look out into the hallway. "Where did he run off too… ? " Riku sighed.
As though a message from the great Pedo-Lion in the sky, a voice shouted out happily in answer, "Kittens?! "
"Oh god no… " Riku groaned, and sunk to his knees in defeat. "Fuck you, Sora. Fuck you. " Kairi giggled at his dramatics and scratched Naminé behind the ears as the sound of footsteps thundering down the stairs echoed through the hallway. A blond with a strange haircut and excited grin materialized at the doorway a few second later.
"I can't believe you guys got kittens! I always knew you were capable of love, Riku! " the blond glomped a mourning Riku and huggled him on the spot. "So, where are they? Have you named them yet? I can help name them! Please name one Demyx Jr.! Oh! I should play my sitar for them! Axel likes my sitar! I bet they would to! " he gushed and cuddled Riku like the man was a giant teddy bear.
"Demyx, I don't think Riku can breathe, " Kairi giggled. Demyx looked to her with a pout, but his blinding grin broke out again when he saw Naminé in her hands. He immediately dropped a still moping Riku, and instead glomped his female friend.
"He's so tiny and cute! Like a little Axel except blonde!" he cooed, scooping up Naminé when the kitten was handed to him, and snuggling her delicately.
"She's a she, and her name's Naminé," Kairi explained. While this was happening, Sora and Zexion had caught up to the excited blonde, and were at the doorway where Riku was staring dejectedly at the ground. Zexion stepped around Riku, who looked up to glare at the brunet who smiled at him innocently.
"I hate you, " Riku groaned, and allowed Sora to pull him up from his defeated position on the floor.
"Aw, you're just being cranky, Riku. I even warned you I was going to invite them over this time! " Roxas tore his gaze away from the humans to where the blonde was petting his sisters, having forced Xion into the cuddle as well.
"Who're they? What're they doing here?" he asked Axel; having forgotten that he was supposed to be hating the other cat's guts.
"Huh? Oh, that's just Demyx, the blonde guy molesting your sisters, and Zexion, our resident shadow, " Axel joked. Roxas gave him a wide eyed stare, completely oblivious that he was joking. "Nevermind, it was a joke. You're a bit… uh… new… but I'll probably take care of that, " he reassured the kitten, who was eyeing him warily.
"Hello, Axel. Who's your friend? " Roxas fluffed his fur up in surprise when Zexion suddenly appeared and kneeled down in front of them.
"Jailbait, " the cat meowed, and Zexion gave a small smile and scratched the reddish cat under the chin.
"That's Roxas! He's mine, and the only male!" Sora bounded over to the slate haired man.
"It's because Riku is practically a girl too with that hair. You know, girl kittens for the girls, and boy kittens for the boys," Axel added, and his brunet owner grinned down at him when he heard his cat's meowing.
"Hey, Axie! Did you make friends with Roxie? You're such a good cat, you know that, right? " Sora smiled warmly as he talked to his cat, and ruffled his soft fur, much to Axel's dismay. Obliviously, the brunet had no idea what the Hell he was talking about, but Axel didn't mind as long as it worked in his favor.
"Wait, can you understand them? " Roxas piped up, and looked to the with wide eyes as Axel tried to fix his fur. Sora told Zexion, who was slowly trying to make his escape, about this one time at band camp.
"Huh? Oh yeah, you pick it up after a while. Now if only humans could figure out how to learn cat… " Axel explained. Roxas stared at him in awe. Human speech always sounded like a jumble of sounds to him, except for a few sounds, and he couldn't help but be impressed that a cat could learn it.
"Will I learn it?" he asked the older cat, who swiped his tongue around his paw absent mindedly.
"I dunno. Probably. I can help you learn, if you want, " he offered, and the small bundle of fur next to him brightened up quickly. It almost made Axel purr. Almost. He wasn't some sap.
"NYOW! This number's for the new awesome sauce kittens in the apartment building, Roxas, Xion, and Naminé! " Demyx, holding a strange object in his hands, announced.
"Hm, I here I thought Riku would learn to hide his guitar better… " Axel hummed, and Roxas glanced between him and Demyx curiously.
"Is that a guitar? " he asked, staring at the strange shaped thing.
"Yeah. It belongs to Riku, and makes noise, " the red furred cat explained, and cringed when Demyx played a loud note.
"God damnit, Demyx! Get off the couch and don't touch my guitar! " Riku shouted, and Demyx danced out of the way when the silveret tried to tackle him into the soft cushions.
"The show must go on! " Demyx crackled, and ran behind Zexion while playing a lively tune. The shorter man rolled his eyes, and moved out of the way so Demyx was vulnerable to Riku's vengeance. "Noooo, Zexy! Don't leave me! " the blonde cried and accidentally backed himself into a corner when Riku stalked close to him. Zexion scoffed, and sat down on the vacant couch while Sora and Kairi watched in amusement. "Help, me, Zexy! He's going to eat my brai-OUCH! " Demyx finished his pleads in a yelp as the guitar was snatched from his grip, and the silveret's hand met the back of his head.
"You deserved it, " Zexion told him as he heard the familiar smack of Riku slapping Demyx on the back of his head. His roommate pouted and rubbed the offended place gently.
"You guys are so mean to me… " Demyx whined, and slumped himself dramatically over the back of the couch.
"Humans are strange… " Roxas grumbled as he watched the performance in curious interest.
"Yeah, but they're sort of always like this, so you get used to it pretty quickly, " Axel comforted him with a feline grin. Roxas gave him a disbelieving look that only seemed to encourage his catty smirk. "What can I say? Welcome to the family, kid."
Author's Note: I can't say I'm in love with this chapter. I would actually scrap it if not for the fact that I'm already too behind schedule to try rewriting it again.
Anyway, this story is probably going to turn into a collection of kitty one-shots and drabbles, so if you like gay, pedophile cats and naïve, victimized kittens, don't take it off alert! I'll probably get a short one-shot up soon, since I already have a few ideas floating around in my head.
If any of you are confused, none of the humans can understand Axel. They just think it's cute when he meows like he's talking human. And don't tell me you've never talked to your pets. I will accuse you of lying. Unless you don't have any pets.