Author's Note: I took less than a month to update? Man, I'm cool.
Warnings: Langauge, crack, double the pedo-ness
Disclaimer: Are the Organization cloaks ridiculously slutty? Yeah, I thought not. I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
It happened at dinner time, when all three of the humans didn't have classes or work, and took the time to have a meal together. It seemed perfectly normal at the time, Axel was washing his paws on the counter, the kittens were waiting less than patiently for scraps to be dropped, and the humans were chatting peacefully while they ate. Then there was a sudden knocking at the door.
"I'll get it!" Sora cheerfully told his companions and jumped from his chair to go to the front door. When he opened it up, he found to his confusion not a person standing there, but a rather large box. "What in the world?" he asked more himself than his two friends. Riku, ever the curious, scooted out of his chair and walked into the living room to see what was happening.
"What's wrong?" he asked the brunet, and Kairi, most certainly not wanting to be left out, joined her friends in the doorway. Sora stepped out of the way so they could see the box, and the other two college students stared at the box with equal confusion.
"Strange… Do you think someone brought it up for us?" Kairi pondered.
"Dunno. Who's it from, Sora?" Riku shrugged his shoulders, and turned his attention to the brunet. Sora kneeled down, and checked the box over, only to look back up at them with brows furrowed in confusion. By now, the cats had followed them out to the living room see what the commotion was all about.
"It doesn't have a return address," Sora informed them as he stood back up. They shared quizzical glances, and Roxas turned to Axel with curiosity.
"Axel, what's going on?" the blonde kitten asked the older feline.
"It looks like a package has arrived. I'm not exactly sure what they're doing, but it looks like our loving humans are confusing themselves over it," Axel explained; forgetting to hit on the younger cat in his own curiosity.
"Well, let's bring it inside. We might as well see what it is," Riku suggested, and with a nod from his friends, he tried to pick it up. "Dear god, this thing is weighs a ton!" he grunted; giving up his efforts. Sora and Kairi tried to help him lift it, but to no prevail. Instead, they pushed it across the floor until it sat in the middle of the living room. Sora closed the door behind them, and joined his friends in front of the mysterious box.
"Well, let's open it up!" Kairi chirped, and Sora returned a moment later with box opener in hand. Riku snatched the blade from his friend before the brunet could kill anything by accident, and swiftly set to cutting the tape keeping the box sealed.
However, the moment the tape broke, a most peculiar thing happened. The flaps of the large box suddenly burst open, a platinum blonde man with a trimmed beard and many piercing on his ears flung himself into the open.
"A WILD LUXORD HAS APPEARED!" the man shouted as Sora shrieked like a little girl and Kairi fell over onto her ass. Riku looked caught between jumping a foot in the air and stabbing the man in the face with the box opener, but he didn't get a chance to do either, since a gray tabby cat wearing an eye patch was thrown hazardously at his face.
"Nooo! Not the face!" the silveret cried, and fell to the ground as the cat had contact with his person.
"Axel, I choose you!" Sora shouted with zest, and the cat cried in surprise as he was snatched up from the ground by his human and tossed at the stranger.
"Sora, stop throwing the cats!" Kairi protested, and Riku was still withering on the ground and screaming in pain while the maniac gray tabby tried to shed his arms in order to get to his face. He managed to pry the cat off and throw it back at the stranger; where it collided with Axel midair.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! I'm calling the police!" Riku yelled as he pulled himself off the ground; arms bleeding from multiple scratches.
"Tsk tsk. Is that anyway to treat your new neighbor?" the blonde scolded in a British accident, and pried his dazed cat away from Axel.
"New neighbor?! Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me! Why is everyone in our apartment insane?!" the silver haired college student hissed, and stomped into the bathroom to clean his newly attained wounds. Sora turned to the stranger, who was pulling himself out of the box, and smiled cheerfully.
"Don't mind Riku, he's a bit of a grouch! I'm Sora!" he greeted the man, as though they had not been throwing cats at each other a minute ago.
"And I'm Kairi. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir" their female friend added, and offered a friendly hand.
"The pleasure's all mine, loves. I'm Luxord, and I'll be living to the left of you from now on. You should think about stopping by my casino some time and having a few drinks." Luxord shook both of their hands cheerfully with a charming smile on his face, and a bit of Styrofoam packaging stuck in his hair.
"I'm afraid we're too young to drink, but I'm sure we'll get along fine, Mr. Luxord!" Kairi giggled, and Sora knelt down to pet his cat.
"You're kitty's so cute, Luxord! His eye patch is friggin' awesome! I wish Axel had an eye patch! What's his name?" Sora fanboyed, and scratched the gray tabby behind the ears. Luxord smiled fondly at the touching scene of boy meets cat, and knelt down next to Sora to give his cat a hearty pat on the head.
"This old bloke? He's Xigbar, although I like to call 'im Xiggy. He's a bit of a rascal," Luxord told the brunet, and stroked his cat lovingly.
"Rascal! That cat is a fucking homicidal sociopath, not a rascal!" Riku yelled from the bathroom. Apparently he was still sore about Xigbar trying to erase his face from existence.
"He's just playing, I assure you. Weren't you Xiggy?" Luxord cooed, before standing up and directing conversation towards Sora. "Now, it seemed like you've got a few cats yourself. What're their names?" Axel, sensing the conversation heading for boring waters, ignored the humans, and instead decided to eye the new cat suspiciously.
"Hey, flamilocks, no need to be glaring at me like that, dude," the tabby commented with what must have supposed to have been a friendly grin. Axel was reminded more of a soul devouring demon, and shuddered internally. On the outside, he managed to keep a cool façade and smirked slyly.
"Sorry, eye patch, just can't say I've ever seen a cat who looked like he had been put through a blender before," Axel retorted. Xigbar mrrowed in what must have been the cat's equivalent to laughter.
"Oh, I think we're going to get along great, dude!" the tabby snorted, and Axel was going to make a smug remark when the older cat's action was suddenly caught on something behind Axel. "And helloooo, who is this?" the gray tabby purred, and Axel whipped around when Xigbar stalked past to approach Roxas.
"Roxas," the blonde kitten growled, and eyed the new cat with hostile distrust.
"Roxas, hmm? Well, Roxas, I think we're also going to get along great… very great indeed…" Xigbar purred. Axel felt his fur rise and his tail puff up. He stalked over and pushed himself between the tabby and the kittens. More importantly, between the tabby and his Roxas.
"Back off," the reddish furred cat hissed, and flexed his claws threateningly. Xigbar's yellow eyes lit up with mirth, and he grinned at Axel.
"Oh really? That's a strange thing to say, since he looks up for the taking to me." Axel's fur bristled, and he was completely ready to claw the tabby's other eye out, when Xigbar was saved by being scooped up by a lively Luxord.
"I'm afraid we must be on our way, loves. I still have a bit of unpacking to do, but I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to catch up later. Toodles!" Luxord waved goodbye to Sora, Kairi, and an fuming Riku (who had reappeared from the bathroom). Axel caught Xigbar's eye on their departure, and bristled his fur angrily. Xigbar only smirked before the two, human and cat, disappeared into the hallway.
Roxas groaned, and slunk over to his sisters with dramatic agony. "Now there's two of them…" he sobbed, and buried his face into Xion's soft black fur. Of course, Sora had to go and ruin the mood.
"Yay! Free box!"
Author's Note: OMFG I LOVE BOXES.
Most of this plot is completely Sexy-Tacos-Emo-Waffles fault, from our strange conversations that stemmed from her reviewing. Oh, Luxord… ILU.
I'm rather satisfied with this chapter… Except… Except… IT DIDN'T HAVE ANY DEMYX. I mean, there'll always be plenty of Demyx later, and Luxord made up for the lack of Demyx, but I think I need to go write a Demyx one-shot or something before I start hyperventilating.
ALSO(I swear I'll shut up after this), I actually had this chapter written for a while, but I was being lazy when it came to editing. Feel free to hit me. I give you permission. OHGODNOTTHEFACE!