Ah... hello fandom my old friend...
It's been a while. Sorry about that. Real life and a serious case of not feeling competent to string more than half a dozen words together have kept me away far too long.
So I'm back with a little offering. Just a drabble type thing that's been buzzing in my head, showing a little disgust at the state of the Women's division in WWE. The female character involved is no-one in particular and I'll let you draw your own conclusion as to the people she mentions.
And finally... watch this space. Good things may be about to happen.
Somehow I never imagined this moment would feel like this.
A moment such as I am contemplating is supposed to be the first step on the road to the pinnacle of my career. A TV match in the big leagues. The biggest promotion in the business.
Ten years of slogging my guts out have brought me to this point. Day after day of training, working in the gym, busting my butt from this school to the next. Searching out the very best trainers I could find and afford. Broken bones, muscle tears, tendon strains… I've been through them all to get here.
Months of having to choose whether I ate that day or paid the rent or bought new ring gear. New gear always won that battle, the rent was more of a case of if I thought I could stretch it out for a few days.
So now I'm here. About to go out to the ring and have a match on the big stage. The biggest promotion in the business. I should be exhilarated, pumped beyond belief. To an extent I am. I'm about to do what many before me have dreamed of doing and very few have achieved. It's a bittersweet feeling though.
Why? I'm going to lose. There is no problem with that, I'm very used to working matches booked against me. I'm going to lose to a bottle blonde with half a ton of silicone in her chest who couldn't look like a wrestler if her life depended on it.
I'm sure some of it is my own doing. I refuse to follow the 'look' and have surgery. I much prefer to be able to keep the athleticism and not have to worry mid-air on a risky move about popping an implant on landing. It may also be that turning down the proposition from a certain male member of the roster hasn't helped my prospects any, certainly not doing it loudly and in public like I did. What can I say? I have a real drive to be able to say that I never earned anything in this world on my back. Yes, it might be that sleeping with him is pretty much considered a rite of passage as far as the Divas are concerned. I'd rather be able to look at myself in the mirror and not be disgusted by the person I see looking back at me.
Oh. It's time. Time to both live my dream and see it shattered all in one short period of time. There's something that I've learned recently to my cost, a saying I may just live my life by from this point.
Careful what you wish for – you might just get it and find you don't like it after all.