Chapter 3.
Discoveries
By the light of the moon I was able to see the inlet. Far out in the water I made out the shapes of the whales breaking the surface of the water. I watched in fascination as the pod frolicked just barely at the limits of my human vision. If I could change into an eagle I would be able to fly out and watch them with some of the best eyes on the planet. I was fascinated with the idea of becoming another animal. After months as a wolf I knew I was better at it than most of the pack except for Jacob.
I smelled him before I saw him. Watching me from the trees was a huge bear, and if I hadn't smelled him first I would have been terrified. Even knowing it was Kyle I was still awed at his size as I watched him lumber toward me carrying something in his mouth. He dropped a strange pack at my feet almost like a dog returning a thrown stick. I reached up to pet his face, and he put his nose against the side of my neck. If he had been a real bear and I was a normal woman he would have easily been able to snap my neck with one bite. Instead he made me laugh, blowing warm air against my ear as his fur tickled my skin.
He then galloped to a cluster of trees where he obviously changed before returning to where I stood. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you ahead of time, but I went to visit my sister in the village. She's the only one of my family who keeps in touch with me. She probably would have left a long time ago except her husband won't leave. He goes out on a fishing boat during the day and spends his evenings drinking at the bar. I'm not sure if she's being faithful to her marriage or her kids, but she's stuck. I help her out with money for the bills and she helps me out when I need it. I had a bad incident with a trap a few years back and she probably saved my foot if not my life. She doesn't understand why I'm not aging the way she is so I try not to visit too often. I went tonight to borrow some clothes for you; you're about the same height, but you're thinner than she is. Still, they should be closer than mine." He picked up the pack and headed toward the doors.
Once inside he set about building a fire in the fireplace while I went through the clothes to find something better to wear. The clothes were a little outdated, but I suspected like most women she kept her outgrown clothes in the back of the closet in hopes of one day getting back into them. They fit well and I was happy she was tall too. When I came out in a pair of well worn jeans and a turtleneck sweater he had a fire going and was making hot chocolate on his stove.
He didn't have a tv and we spent the rest of the evening on the couch talking. He said he usually painted or did a lot of reading while listening to music, but he didn't want a tv even if he could get good reception. I discovered he was into environmental issues, which was why his home was mostly underground; to use less energy on heating. His water was self sufficient; he collected fresh water in a cistern and recycled his waste water.
As we talked he reclined on the couch and I rested against him. I liked how he made me feel small and protected. The fire crackled and he turned the lights off as we got to know each other better, asking and answering questions and telling stories. I tried to stay awake listening to his deep voice, but I found myself drifting off.
I was startled awake as he sat up on the couch. I realized I must have been sleeping when he cradled me up in his arms. He knew I was awake but still he carried me back to his room and laid me on his bed. I was suddenly defensive and I tried to get up, but he gently pushed me back down. "Relax Leah, I'm not taking advantage. You need to sleep and I'm going to take care of the fire and get some rest myself. You take the bed, I'll find someplace to sleep." He pulled a blanket over me and kissed my forehead. "Goodnight Leah, I'll see you in the morning." He brushed his lips gently against mine then walked out of the room.
I laid there looking out the window at the moon in the sky. I could smell him so strongly in the blankets and pillows it seemed odd that he wasn't right beside me. I struggled to fall back asleep, then realized I couldn't get comfortable in the clothes I was wearing. I slipped out of bed and took off the jeans, folded them and laid them on a chair. I climbed back into bed and fell asleep thinking about Kyle.
In the morning I woke up with a smile, vaguely remembering a dream with him in it. I stretched and snuggled into the luxury of the huge bed and warm quilts. The bed was so high up I almost didn't see him. Curled up on the rug beside the bed was the silver fox, with his nose tucked behind his bushy tail and his ears relaxed. I watched him sleep and smiled, thinking how he must have wanted to be close to me without being disrespectful of my personal space. He must have heard a noise as I watched him, since his ears perked up and he poked his head up to look at me.
"Good morning! I didn't know you would look so foxy in the morning!" I giggled as he stood up and stretched. He sprang onto the bed, pouncing on me as he licked my face and I was laughing so hard I could barely push him away. He nosed his way under the blankets and burrowed under, then turned to poke his head out as he stretched out and laid his head on my shoulder. He looked into my eyes adoringly and I kissed his nose. "You are way too cute like this." I wrapped my arms around his furry neck and scratched behind his ears. "You better be careful, I might decide I like you better this way than as a human." He licked my face again and had me giggling uncontrollably. I felt a momentary flash of heat as he changed.
In seconds he was no longer the fox, but a seven foot tall naked man looking down at me. The wet doggie kisses were forgotten as he kissed me with his warm human lips and his hair fell like a curtain against my cheek. His hand stroked my face and I savored the delicious flavor of his kisses; glazed donuts on a nature hike. "You are so beautiful Leah," he breathed against my cheek, "I'm so glad you stayed!" He kissed me again, and even though he wasn't caressing me or trying to entice me, I could feel the tension in the air. If I wanted him and allowed it, we could make love right now! I felt his bare leg brush against mine under the blankets like an open invitation. I looked into his adoring eyes and knew what he wanted. I couldn't blame him for his desire; he was in love with me.
But I knew I still needed more time. I'd been in love before and this time I would make sure that it was real for both of us! I hated to do it, but I pulled away from him and rolled out of bed. The cold air hit me hard and I realized I was only wearing a shirt and underwear. He smiled mischievously as he watched me scramble to find where I'd laid my jeans. "Don't hurry on my account, this is the best view I've ever seen from my bed!" I swatted at him with the jeans I'd just located and he almost grabbed them from me.
I retreated to the bathroom listening to his laughter as I went. I took a quick shower and dressed. I found him in the kitchen cooking breakfast, and I helped him make biscuits, bacon, and eggs. He smiled as I pitched in to help. "This is a bit more extravagant that I'm used to, but we have a lot of work to do today. You're going to need your energy." We sat in his living room eating a breakfast big enough for six people and I looked out the window at the water watching the birds catching fish
"So, what have you got in mind, are you going to chase me all the way to Canada today?" I grinned.
"Please don't make me have to chase you again Leah!" He looked a little alarmed as he finished his breakfast. "No, what I was hoping to do is take you someplace where we can watch the animals. I'd like to show you what's involved in changing forms, give you some ideas. I thought since the weather is supposed to be nice we'd hike to a small lake I know and maybe have a picnic and watch the other predators."
"Why would we hike when we could just go natural?" I finished off my biscuit and followed it with the orange juice. "I mean it would be faster, and we could make sure to be back long before dark."
"Do you have some reason to rush back here?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively "I mean if you'd rather go out in the woods and practice changing, without the benefit of clothes, then rush back home.....well I certainly don't want to talk you out of it!" He was laughing playfully at my embarrassment. "As a matter of fact, I like your idea a whole lot more than mine!" He slipped his arm around me and kissed the side of my head. "Leah, you are so much fun! I'm so glad you're here!"
He stood and took the plates to the sink. In a few minutes the dishes were washed and I helped him dry them and put them away. He had everything we could possibly need for a day long hike, and I helped him assemble two back packs complete with food and water for a picnic lunch. He packed several changes of clothes and even some books and sketch pads.
When we left he carried a heavier pack than mine, and I tried not to protest; that was the old Leah, ever afraid of being belittled or marginalized. He was of a different generation; one that prided itself on courtesy and gentlemanly manners. I was happy the shoes his sister sent along were a size too big which allowed me to wear extra socks. I still needed to "talk" to Jacob to see when I might expect a package of my own things. Kyle said we would be able to pick it up from a nearby village, or fly to Anchorage to shop for what I might need if it took too long. I was surprised at how fast I was already adjusting to being with him and making plans, even if it was only a week or two away.
He headed off into the woods, setting a brisk pace that had me working to keep up with his long strides. About every twenty minutes he'd stop and consult a compass, see if I wanted water or a break, then take off again. After about two and a half hours we came to a thinning of the trees and he cautioned me to be careful and quiet. "There's a lake just a couple hundred yards away and animals of all kinds come here. It's got some geothermal warming to it which helps it stay thawed even in the winter. It's deep enough and warm enough that it supports a lot of different fish and wildlife. It hasn't made the list of attractions since it's so inaccesable and the water's merely warm and not hot." He handed me a pair of binoculars and I almost turned him down.
"I see pretty well, what do I need these for?"
""I'm glad you asked! What I want us to do is find a spot in the trees to observe. The key to learning to change into another animal is to be completely familiar with it. For me a sled dog was easy since I'd been around them since I was a baby. For you I'm sure your legends make you very familiar with wolves, so the change came natural. You will need to immerse yourself completely in the animal you want to become. You will need to know it's coat, it's markings, it's size, the way it moves, the way it behaves, and it's diet. You will need to almost predict what an animal will do under different circumstances and be able to tell the difference between individuals of the same species. I'm sure you can tell me everything there is to know about yourself as a wolf without needing to see a reflection. You know your markings, your size, your coloring, and your habits; it's second nature. In order to have another choice you will need to feel complete confidence in your ability to assume a new form. I'm not sure why, but I believe this ability manifests to give us the best opportunity for survival, and protection of others. I would have trouble becoming a caribou, unless I needed to lose myself in a herd of them. It's my choice, but some animals just come easier than others." He looked at me with all the seriousness of a teacher to his student. I smiled back.
"I think I understand. That's why we almost always change when there are supernatural threats in our territory. It would also explain why we're always so much bigger than a natural animal, it makes us even tougher than the animals we imitate."
"You're right except for the part about imitating. We don't imitate, we become the animal! You still have your mind of course, but we truly become a different animal, so we have it's drives, it's instincts, and it's abilities. When I'm an eagle, I see like an eagle, I know how to float on air currents, I watch prey below me, and I'm always aware of what shares the sky with me. I can even taste the weather. For a time, I am an eagle, and I'm only Kyle in the background." He smiled down at me. "Let's go find a spot where we can watch the lake and not get in the way."
We made a little nest in the woods where we could sit or lay and observe. It didn't take long for our scent to dissipate enough for the wildlife to come back. I adjusted the binoculars and settled down to watch. I didn't expect to see much, but soon there was a family of bears splashing in the water, catching fish. I watched the mother bear, learning her movements and everything else Kyle told me to watch for. As the cubs wandered further away I imagined that a mother would want them closer, and was thrilled when she meandered along to gather them to her. I glanced at Kyle and saw he was watching the bears too, silent and unmoving.
I tried to be patient, but he held still for an hour or more until the bears wandered away. Then I watched a golden eagle soaring overhead and trained the binoculars on it. I tried to predict the moment when it would dive for a fish. I missed my guess, but I watched him as he made the catch and the way he barely paused before he beat his wings and took to the sky again. My muscles were beginning to cramp and I wondered how Kyle could remain so still. After what had to be at least two and a half hours of observation, I got up from my spot. He turned his head and gave me a smug smile. "I wasn't about to move until you did, but I was beginning to think you were growing roots." He rolled over onto his back and looked up at me with his head pillowed on his arms.
"You've got to be kidding me! I've been sitting here thinking you'd be upset if I disturbed the peace! I was about to check you for a pulse! The only reason I gave in is because I need to go to the bathroom!" I stood up and stretched while he watched grinning.
"I'll walk with you, I think we need to go some distance away so we don't leave a scent to scare the animals. It's my belief that they don't know what kind of animal we are, but we smell like predators." He stood up nimbly and escorted me through the woods a couple hundred yards away so we could both take care of our needs. "Hey Leah, do you feel like changing?"
"What do you mean, like a different animal or a wolf?" I came out from hiding and he was digging through his pack.
"Well, actually, I was thinking about bathing suits. I wouldn't expect a thaw for a few more months, and the lake water is warm if you want to brave it." We were standing in several inches of snow and the thought of swimming was crazy.
"Sounds like fun, but I don't have a bathing suit." I smiled, wondering what he would think about my adventurous spirit.
"Well....you could swim in your bra and panties and pretend it was a bathing suit. You've got extra dry clothes to change into after you get out. Come on Leah, it'll be fun!" He looked at me like he expected me to chicken out. I remembered cliff diving at La Push and knew I couldn't back out of a little bit of mid winter swimming, especially if it was a challenge!
"Okay, you're on!" I headed back toward the lake as he gathered up his pack. I found a closer place to leave my clothes and we dropped the packs. I unlaced the hiking boots and took off all the socks trying not to wince at the cold snow. "Remember, it's a bathing suit!" I looked him in the eye as I pulled off the jeans. He followed my lead and undressed down to the shorts he wore underneath. I pulled off my sweater last and I heard him catch his breath. "Bathing suit you lech!" I pushed him hard and took off running while he was off balance. I felt him on my heels as I sprinted toward the water.
I didn't pause at the edge, but dove in cutting the surface in a shallow dive that would have been fine even if the water were only two feet deep. But as I surfaced and tread water I realized it was much deeper, and warmer than I expected. He hit the water a second after I surfaced, not with an elegant dive, but with a huge cannonball splashing water into my face like a wave from the ocean! He came up beside me laughing as I splashed him in the face for feeble revenge.
"You know we'll never get the animals to come back after that entrance!" I scolded. "Why'd you try to drown me!"
He swam circles around me. "The animals will come back just fine." he slipped his arms around me, holding me loosely face to face. "I wasn't trying to drown you, but why do you always feel the need to run from me, Leah?"
"Always? What do you mean 'always?' I mean it's not as if we've known each other more than a day....three days if you count my time as a wolf. Didn't I agree to stay? Didn't I just follow you all the way into the middle of nowhere? I'm not 'always' running away, I'm just faster than...." he cut me off before I could get into a full 'old Leah' tirade that was headed for the words clingy and overbearing. His arms tightened around me and he kissed me hard.
The attraction I felt for him was magnified by the warm water and that we were barely dressed. His hair floated around me in the water and I wrapped my arms and legs around him, kissing his mouth fiercely, sweet strawberries washed in a mountain stream. I felt his hands gliding along my skin as his strong legs kicked to hold us both above water. In that moment I had to wonder if I hadn't imprinted on him, just a day later! There was only Kyle, no animals, no pack, and no past relationships. I wanted to be with him more than anything else. He pulled back from me and I watched him catch his breath before smiling down at me.
He then started to swim with me, one arm pulling me along the shore of the lake with his strong legs easily keeping us both afloat. He found the place he was looking for and we rested on some large flat rocks submerged just under the water. It was perfect, we could sit and still be shoulders deep in the warm water. "The water's great, but the bottom is a murky, muddy mess." We relaxed on the rocks and I tried to think about anything but Kyle, but every time I turned my head he was there, glistening in the water with his face turned to the sky. Was I in love with him? Already? I knew I wanted him physically at least. If he had made his move a few minutes before I might have gone along with him, but was that love? I was beginning to see that what I'd felt for Sam didn't even come close to what I now felt for Kyle. Like the difference between a little girl's crush and a woman's desire.
He looked over at me and caught me watching him. "I'm glad I brought you to this place. It's special to me." He pointed to a stand of trees. "I set up a shelter over there and that's where I studied all the animals that came here. It's where I first saw the grizzlies, eagles, and foxes I used as my models. I wanted to share it with you, Leah. He pulled me to him and when we kissed I knew I was in love with him! I held him tight to me and knew that no one would take this man from me, ever! When his lips left mine I still wanted more. I thought about making love with him right then and there as I smiled up at him.
He looked me in the eye and stroked my cheek. "I love you Leah! I feel like I've been waiting for you for.....half my life, and now that I've found you I don't ever want to let you go. I know you said you needed time, and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes. But I'm all in; no games, no holding back, no second thoughts. I'm in love with you, and I want you more than anything!" He kissed me again and I tasted him, warm honey on a sunny beach. I loved him, and I wanted him too. He drew back from me and looked down at me with adoration and desire. "Will you marry me Leah? I know it's too soon, but I know I'm not going to change my mind. I want you to be my wife, my partner, and my love, for as much of forever as we may have.
My jaw dropped. I couldn't think of one thing to say. Marriage! I wanted to make love and he was thinking of something more permanent! I didn't doubt I loved him, what I doubted was if I had what it took to make it last! He was looking at me expectantly, wanting an answer. "Kyle....I just don't know what to say...."
He kissed me and smiled. "That's easy, just say yes. Three little letters to make me the happiest man in the world. Or you could say 'I love you Kyle.....'"
"I do!" I interrupted his playful cajoling.
"Not yet, 'I do' comes during the ceremony! Right now you just need to say 'yes.'" His manner became suddenly intense and he kissed me passionately like he would convince me with a kiss. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and I wanted to say yes to anything he wanted. But when he pulled back and looked at me I couldn't make my mouth work to say it.
I couldn't stand to see the ghost of disappointment and hurt in his eyes. I stroked his cheek and slid my fingers through his hair. "Kyle, I'm not saying no. But you've been three steps ahead of me since I met you, and that's only been a day ago! I know you think you know me already, but you don't. I can be rude, selfish, antagonistic, and mean....and that's at the best of times! I'm not always this nice; you've only seen the best of me so far. I'm over my old relationship, I know that now for sure. But I'm not sure I didn't poison it and make it go wrong. I don't trust myself since my heart lied to me before! And speaking of lies, I won't even go into how much it hurt when Sam broke every promise he ever made to me!"
"I'm really surprised at how fast this is moving. I met you yesterday, and today I'm already crazy about you! I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else, Kyle. But I don't know if that's enough! It's been my experience that things just have a tendency to go wrong where I'm concerned. I don't want to jinx this! I keep waiting for the fates to wake up and realize they haven't screwed with Leah in a while and it's time to give her chain another yank! I've had the wind knocked out of me so many times I'm often afraid to breath. I've got scars Kyle. And they're not the kind you can see, but they hurt when you touch them and I have a tendency to overreact. I don't even want to tell you what they call me back home, and I know I've earned every word." I didn't want to look at him even though I could feel him watching me and his arm was snugly around me.
"Kyle, you're such a good man." I finally looked his way. "I can't believe you can feel the way you do about me! I couldn't have dreamed you up even if I'd have tried; you're almost too good to be true! There's a part of me that wants to look for where you've buried the bodies, or find the skeletons in your closet." I smiled up at him. "I love you. And I would have bet money that it wasn't possible for me to feel so much for a man ever again. And that scares the hell out of me! I trust you Kyle, it's me that I don't trust. You're the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time. I'm in love with you and I just don't want to mess it up!"
I watched his face go from concern to confusion and then to happiness. "That's enough for me!" He kissed me then held me close. "I love you Leah Clearwater, and if you love me too then I know someday you'll be my wife! I can wait until you're sure. Until then I'll be sure enough for both of us." He smiled then and kissed me so thoroughly he took my breath away. I was still a little giddy when he let me go and stood up on the rock. He leaped into the air in a perfect arc and cut the water so cleanly he barely splashed.
When he surfaced he called to me. "If we want to get any swimming in we should hurry since we're running out of time. Watch this!" He threw something at me and I caught his shorts just before he ducked under the water. When he surfaced again he wasn't Kyle, but a large otter splashing around. I wrung the water out of his shorts and threw them onto the shore. I stood up and dove in, trying to chase him but I wasn't nearly the swimmer he was. He played tag with me, sometimes letting me catch hold of his tail and sometimes bumping me from surprising directions. It was fun playing with him, but I wanted to be with Kyle, not the otter.
"Come on Kyle, fun's fun, but I'd rather be with you than the zoo!" He dove down and came up with a crayfish in his paws, swimming on his back and dissecting it as he munched away on the pieces. "Oh, now that's attractive! Tell me am I supposed to kiss that mouth later? I mean didn't we pack a lunch?" I pretended to be grossed out as I teased him. He really was adorable and I was impressed at how completely he was transformed. He paddled over to me, popped out of the water and momentarily pressed his wet whiskered face to mine as if he were giving me a kiss, then he was gone before I had a chance to retaliate. When he surfaced again he was at the water's edge and he snagged his shorts as he waddled toward the trees shaking the water from his fur.
I swam back to the rock and made a clean jump to the shore. I walked around to where our clothes and packs were, leaving wet footprints in the snow. When Kyle joined me he grinned and pulled me into his arms, then kissed me without a hint of what he'd just eaten. He then quickly went through the packs and pulled out towels and clothes for both of us. I hurried for cover dreading that I would have to take off everything before I could get warm and dry.
As soon as we were dressed we pulled our lunch out and ate. "Did you know that otters have to eat a lot?" He took a break from his second sandwich and I had to laugh at how awkward the question sounded. He laughed along with me and then went on. "I wasn't trying to gross you out, I just got hungry and that little lake is full of great things to eat....if you're an otter. Leah, there's so much I'd like to teach you, and show you! I want to swim with you as an otter, and fly with you as an eagle, and someday even romp along on an iceberg as a pair of polar bears! I feel like everything I have in my life has just gotten better now that I have you to share it with!" His enthusiasm was so infectious that I was starting to see what he saw too. "So, is there an animal you'd like to try to learn more about? One that you want to change into next?"
I tried to think about all the choices and what benefits each of them had. I really wanted to learn to change into an eagle and fly, but there was a bit of fear of falling that I worried would hold me back. The bears still intimidated me and the otter was so different from what I was used to being. "I like the fox." He looked confused and I had to laugh. "It's close to what I'm used to being, and I I've seen one up close and personal very recently." I grinned.
He looked thoughtful for a second then laughed. "You know I hadn't even thought that you could use me for a model! I was thinking that you would need to spend hours or even days in the wild trying to learn and observe, but I guess I can show you better myself. There's certainly less risk of getting bitten or chased."
I gave him a mock pout face, "does that mean you won't bit me or chase me? What fun is there in that?" He looked puzzled for a second, then his eyes met mine and I saw him suppress a grin. I leaped up and took off running before he took his first step and in seconds we were both bounding around the snowy lake shore in a fierce game of tag. He behaved the same as a man as he did as a wolf, and I used my speed and agility to counter his longer strides. I knew I could lose him in the trees and I heard him call my name as I dashed through the woods with him close behind me.
I was so worried about Kyle behind me it was too late to avoid what was in front of me. The mother bear had her two small cubs behind her and she was on her hind legs directly in front of me snarling her threat. I stopped too late to avoid the attack; four hundred pounds of snarling mother bear charged into me and her first swipe knocked me into a tree hard enough it would have seriously hurt or killed a normal human. I didn't want to attack the mother so changing into another adversary wasn't what I wanted to do. I heard the snarl and felt a blaze of heat behind me as Kyle changed. But the mother bear didn't recognize his threat, she was coming for me! I closed my eyes and concentrated to block out the disaster about to happen. I changed just as she reached me and I thought she'd once again launched me with her attack only this time I didn't land in the trees, but flew through the air. I beat my wings and soon climbed above the trees looking down at the two bears confronting each other below.
I was flying! The thought almost sent me tumbling to the ground and I had to beat my huge wings to take myself back into the sky. I caught a warm current of air and spread my wings their full eight foot span and glided in a huge circle, trying to catch sight of the encounter below. I saw the bears running along, a mother and her two cubs being followed at a distance by a huge lumbering bear who was obviously allowing them to escape. I soared higher as the current carried me toward the sun. It was exhilarating and I didn't want to come back down. I saw the bear below as it turned and went back to the site of the attack. Kyle! I didn't know if he saw what had happened. Would he think that I had run off again as a wolf? I dove, folding my wings tightly to my body as I saw my target rushing to meet me. I pulled out of the dive at the last second, unfurling my wings to stop my free fall. It was incredible as I lead with my strong talons to grab a hold of my quarry and landed almost gracefully on the shoulders of the huge grizzly bear!
Leah wanted to laugh, to shout with joy, but the huge golden eagle just blinked and kept watch from her unsteady perch. The bear stood still, and the eagle flapped into the low branches of a nearby tree to watch it. The bear wandered to a pile of torn rags and pawed through what was left of Kyles clothes; all were ruined including the coat and boots. It roared and the eagle blinked impassively. It's not my fault, I didn't tell you to change, I thought. The bear wandered away, heading back toward the place we'd left our lunch and our back packs. I flew along behind, but soon realized I had to go higher so the trees weren't a danger.
When I descended again he had already changed back to Kyle and was digging through the packs I landed behind him and it took the eagle a few seconds to realize he was still naked. I launched myself into the air again and flew high over the lake. I could see so much from so far away! If I hadn't just eaten I knew I would be able to catch fish from the lake as I timed their jumps and knew exactly how I would dive to grab them from the surface. I flew over the woods, following the tracks of the bears and I watched them climb into a small den not far from where we'd been playing. They must not have been hibernating yet. Ether that or they didn't sleep very deeply with such a plentiful food source nearby.
After about fifteen minutes I saw a white flash from where Kyle was. He stood behind a rock waving his sketch pad at me, then he changed again and I saw the bear trotting away from the packs and our things. I swooped down and saw that he'd packed up everything except for a piece of paper he'd left weighted down with a rock. It was hard to read since my eagles eyes weren't good at interpreting the lines on the paper. I finally changed back, knowing that Kyle was already out of range to see me. The paper was a note.
'Leah, I didn't expect to need extra clothes today, though I brought several things for you to wear nothing will fit me. I'm sure I could fashion something to wear, but I don't quite trust myself to walk with you so uncovered. I left some clothes for you to wear, and we can go back for the ones in the woods, you're going to need the shoes, I'm sure! I've put everything into one pack and it shouldn't be too heavy for you to carry without the food and water. I can help if you need me to, but bears are hard on back packs.
I tried to warn you about the bears! You scared me to death; I thought she was going to kill you! See, I told you not to keep running away from me! It took me a while to realize you'd changed and I thought...never mind what I thought! You are a beautiful golden eagle! And I thought you weren't paying attention today when we were observing. Leah, I'm so proud of you! I wish I could celebrate with you, but I want to get back home safe as soon as possible. I'll be back as soon as you are ready to go. I love you Leah!'
I scrambled into my clothes and stuffed the socks into my pockets until I could get my shoes. The pack was a little heavier, but not more than I could handle. I looked over the area to make sure it was cleaned up and headed back to where my other clothes were left. I found my clothes and discovered that my bra and top were destroyed, but my pants and shoes were still fine. I picked up all but the smallest scraps and stuffed them into the pack.
Kyle the bear ambled up to me as I was surveying his shredded clothes. "I thought you had this part of the change licked. I guess your clothes can't withstand a bear attack." I smiled up at him. "I think I might as well leave these scraps here for nesting materials. The bear nudged me and almost knocked me over. "Kyle, you are one big bear! That mama bear didn't stand a chance against you! I saw her and the cubs climbing into a den not too far from here, so I'm sure she's okay. It might be a good idea if we take a wide circle around so we don't disturb her again." I took a minute to put on socks and shoes and then started out walking with him poking along leading the way. "I'm sorry to slow you down like this."
He lead til we reached a large rock then stopped. "What's up Kyle?" He put his large paws up on the rock and looked at me. "I don't get it, what's with the rock?" He stepped back then nudged me toward the rock. "You want me to climb up on the rock?" He nudged again. "Fine, but I still don't get it." I climbed up and looked around. It was only about four feet off the ground, and everything looked the same. He came over and leaned his body against the rock, then growled at me. "No way! You want me to climb on your back? Kyle, there's got to be some reason people don't ride bears, and I'm not sure I want to be the one to find it!" He turned and grabbed my pant leg in his teeth, pulling me closer to him with a low grunt. "Fine, but you're going to be the one to explain it when someone gets a video of some woman hiker riding a bear through the woods!"
I climbed onto his back and adjusted the pack. I sat close to his shoulders and leaned forward to grab two fistfuls of thick fur. "I must be crazy. Let's go!" He started out walking, but as soon as he realized I wasn't going to hit the ground he moved faster. In a few minutes he was running and I was clinging to his back as he ran about thirty miles an hour through the snow. If I hadn't had more strength than the average human I would have easily slipped off with his jarring gait. But I held tight and in less than an hour we were in sight of his house. I slipped off under cover of the woods just in case one of the rare boats or planes was passing nearby. I walked back to his home and continued down the beach so he could change and get dressed in privacy. I watched the whales in the distance and realized how much I was beginning to love it there. I was deep in thought when he came behind me and put his arms around me
I leaned against him and smiled up at him. "This place is so beautiful Kyle, you must really love it here." I felt the soft worn cotton of his shirt and his smell faintly drifting to me despite the wind off the ocean; cinnamon rolls by a wood fire. I turned in his arms to face him. "I love you Kyle." I smiled up at him, suddenly noticing his serious face. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" I started looking around for something that was causing his troubled expression. "Kyle, what is it? Tell me!"
He let go of me and walked back along the beach a few yards. I watched his back as he ran his hands through his hair then looked out over the ocean. He looked so tense and I almost went to him when he stopped at the water's edge and yelled. I almost jumped at the sound; pure frustration, hurt, and anger tearing up out of him. When he turned and came back to me in a rush I was almost afraid of him. He grabbed me and pulled me tight into his arms and kissed me hard on the mouth. His arms were so tight around me it was hard to breath and his hand on the back of my head kept me from breaking away from his kiss. For about a dozen heartbeats my world was nothing more than Kyle and his kiss. His lips on mine, his taste, his arms around me, his body pressed against me, and his eyes locked onto mine.
When he suddenly let me go I staggered a bit without his arms to hold me up. But then his hands were on my shoulders and he was looking down at me still serious. "I'm sorry! I was hoping that I'd be over it by the time we got back here. But the whole way back all I could think about was how I'd almost lost you, Leah! I saw that bear knock you into a tree and I saw my whole world end! I've seen maulings before Leah, and I can still see you getting hit and lying there! I thought you were dead! I felt like I'd only just found you to lose you forever! I wanted to kill that bear! If it hadn't been for the two cubs I would have torn her to pieces! How could you be so reckless! That lake is a source of food for a lot of animals; predator and prey alike....you should know better! I can't believe you just charged into the woods like you haven't got a brain in your head!" He was yelling at me and his hands were digging into my shoulders.
At first I was overwhelmed by his anger, but then what he said started to piss me off! I couldn't believe he'd just called me reckless and stupid! I brought my arms up between his and broke his grip on my shoulders with practiced ease. "I can't believe you just said that to me! Just who do you think I am! I'm not Bella.... I mean, I'm not some fragile flower that's going to break if I fall!" I was mad, and I was yelling back at him. I was getting in his face even if I had to look up at that face. "I'm tougher than you think! I'm almost as tough as you, and if you hadn't been there I would have survived just fine! Do you think I made it all this way on my own by sheer luck?!" I advanced on him as he retreated a step with the force of my anger. "I don't care how old you are or how long you've been waiting for me, you're not my father! I am a strong, independent woman and if you're looking for someone you have to guard and protect and treat like a baby then you just better keep on looking!"
"Maybe someone should protect you!" he countered. "You're reckless and you don't have any regard for your own safety!"
"You're being ridiculous! We're at the top of the food chain! In case you haven't noticed I'm not hurt....not even a scratch! And even if you hadn't been right behind me, and even if I hadn't been able to change into an eagle and fly away, I could still become a wolf and outrun the stupid bear! I've only run into two things that could give me any challenge at all, and you're one of them!"
"And what if it had been the other thing that could challenge you? What then? You'd have charged right in and it would have been over!" he looked triumphant as he used my words against me.
"The only other challenge I've had Kyle has been newborn vampires! If we'd have found ourselves facing bloodsuckers today, then we would have both been in danger, and it wouldn't have mattered how we ran into them. Do you really think a harmless game of tag is going to stir up a den of vampires Kyle? Or is there another reason you want me to feel stupid, reckless and helpless?" I recognized the old Leah just as my anger had run it's course. I was remembering how Jacob had almost gotten killed because I was overconfident in fighting the newborn vampires. "I'm a lot more careful than you give me credit for, and I'm not helpless. And if you want to say I'm stupid, or that I 'haven't got a brain in my head,' well, the only reason that applies is because I've once again put myself in a position where a man can make me feel like this!" I could feel the tears in my eyes and I wiped them quickly before they could fall.
I turned away and started walking quickly up the beach. "Leah, don't go!" I heard him following me and I didn't slow down. He caught up and grabbed me by the shoulder. "I'm sorry.....please don't go!" I could hear the desperation in his voice and I realized he thought I was leaving and going away.
"Let go of me! I'm not leaving....I just want to be alone for a while – even if you think I'm too stupid or frail to handle that!" I could see my words hit home. "I love you Kyle, but right now I don't like you and I'd rather be alone!" I turned and kept walking, leaving him standing on the beach behind me. I walked two hours up the beach listening to the wind and the waves. When I was out of sight of his home and I could see nothing but empty beach I slipped behind a tree and undressed. I made sure my clothes were protected from animals and the tides then I concentrated and changed. I loved flying and this time I soared out over the ocean, making sure I kept in sight of the land as I followed the pod of whales I'd been watching earlier. I fixed the tree where I'd changed in my sights and knew I'd be able to find it again even among all trees and the miles of shore.
The winds over the ocean made flying different than it had been over land. I had to fly higher to find the air currents to glide. What I wanted was to watch the whales, and in minutes I was over the pod I'd seen. I'd thought it was Orca's, but instead it was Beluga whales! I had to remind myself that whales could leap out of the water and even a bird of prey could still become prey if I wasn't careful. I soared along watching them from a safe distance, noting the difference between the adults and the young calves. There were about thirty in all, and they were delightful to watch as they interacted with each other and fed along the ocean floor nearer the beach than I expected. In some ways they reminded me of large white dolphins. I took breaks often, flying back to land and roosting in a tree to rest. As soon as the sun began to set I flew back to where I'd left my clothes. I changed and dressed for the long walk back up the beach. I stayed alert for anything that might cause me a problem, and I watched the sun set in brilliant shades of pink and orange as it slipped into the water.
I'd been gone most of the afternoon and I was no longer mad at Kyle. In fact I was thinking about how nice it would have been to share the sunset with him instead of watching alone. I tried to see his point of view and remember that he was of a different generation than I was. But I wasn't going to stand for him treating me like I was somehow incompetent just because I was a woman. And he couldn't treat me like I was fragile either. If I was going to stay with him it had to be on more equal terms. If I was going to spend my life with him it would have to be more......
Sorry to leave it off here but this was the best break before the next chapter. Let me know what you think about it since it's my first and only story on the site. I'm a sucker for reviews, please keep reading!