Chapter Four : NOT THE ENDING - YAY!

I suppose some of you may be mad that I made you think there was no fourth chapter, no continuation, but chin up! THERE IS! What's that? You thought it was a myth? A mere legend or folk fable? A hoax like the Lochness monster or Bigfoot? HAHA! I think not- the forth chapter- IS real. And now- chapter 4. THE STORY LIVES ON!

Previously: I had trouble closing the portal between the two book/movies so I gave up and left it that way- HOWEVER! I decided to join in as I watch the characters struggle to end the story. What's that? How did this start--- well- It happened just after the battle of Forks High was won.

"What do you mean you 'can't end it?!' " cried the irritated Bella.

"I said "I can't end it!" I told Bella, Alice and Emmet. "I used to close and open it as I please, but now I can't."

"But- but- you're the author- you can just type "I closed the portal" and be done with it!" stuttered Alice.

"… where's the fun in that?!" I accused.

"Hmm… she does have a point" said Emmet. Bella and Alice slapped him in the back of the head. "She does not!" they chorused.

"No- I mean, If she just closed it, then the story wouldn't of been interesting." said Emmet bracing for impact. Bella and Alice hit him again- to his expectations. "Thank you for realizing my point, for this I decide not to torment you this chapter." I said firmly. Emmet grinned and the girls struck him again. "Just close it!" cried Bella, "I haven't even seen Edward yet in the chapter and I'm worried."

"Oh yeah! It slipped my mind completely-" I said getting out a piece of paper, "Edward…was…" I continued thinking of where Edward should be right now.

"NOOO!" cried Bella tackling me for the paper.

"Not so fast!" I cried dangling the paper out of her reach as she desperately tried to snatch the pen, "BACK! Back I say! Or else Edward will be turn into elmo!"

Bella stepped back and crossed her arms pouting.

"That's better- now go deal with the problem yourself, I have your story to write." I said continuing where I left off. The three left the room and went out to seek the portal.

Now where was I? Oh yes. Edward was- hmm… AH HA! Edward was with Aragorn.

"HEAVE!" cried Aragorn as his army pulled on a rope. "HEAVE!" cried Jacob as his army pulled the other. They were pulling ropes that had connected to either side of the portal. The ropes crossed so that when they pulled it should close the portal. Edward was on the Forks' side as she and some students were bashing, smashing and crashing the side together with their hands. Aragorn on the Middle Earth side commanded both armies to pull the ropes harder but the portal didn't shut even a millimeter closed. "Sigh… nothing's working!" cried the exhausted Edward walking into the Middle Earth side.

Aragorn sighed, "Hrm… it seems so…I suppose we might have to revert to getting the giant elephants in here to sit on the portal then we'll-"

THUD "AAAAH! The Oliphant's are escaping!!!" cried a random voice.

"… Never mind." mumbled Aragorn.

~Meanwhile~

"Well, now what?" mumbled Bella. The group had stopped in front of a hole-like cottage and were resting outside a window.

"I guess we have to find the portal, and shut it…." said Emmet.

"… Gee- wish I thought of that." said the sarcastic Alice.

Alice looked back at a piece of grass where Bella once sat. "Where'd Bella go!?" whispered Alice franticly. The two searched in the grass for some time, but Bella, on the other hand- had been pulled through the window.

"SAM GAMGEE- what have you heard? Wait… what?!" Gandalf cried realizing the eavesdropper was just Bella. "Wha-wha-what!?" stuttered Bella.

"Well… Sam you've gained weight… and have gone transgender… that's, nice… I suppose." awkwardly stated Gandalf.

"Who's 'Sam!?' and I'M NOT A TRANSGENDER FATTY!" cried Bella.

"Whatever- but you still eavesdropped, and for this I have thought of the perfect punishment for you." replied Gandalf.

Bella went wide-eyed, "PUNISHMENT!? I'm not even in your story you crazy old coot!"

( I would've corrected Gandalf but I decided it was funnier this way. )

The next morning Bella was forced out the door with Frodo.

Gandalf thumped Bella on the head, "Well, Sam, seeing you're to go with Frodo I do suppose you should know, you are to face certain death. Good Luck- meet me at the prancing pony inn, there I shall await for you." said Gandalf ominously. The two walked not so merrily down the path until reaching a far strech of meadow.

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" cried Frodo, skipping next to Bella, "are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"NO! NOW SHUT UP YOU SHORT GAY MORON!"

Frodo stopped and went all 'puppy face'. His eyes got big and teary, and he starting quivering. "Fine, fine, I'm sorry- just start skipping faster before I leave you for the black riders."

"… ok?" said Frodo getting back to his pace.

The two walked all the way to the "Inn" (yes, I was too lazy to write they're walking scene). But this was days later so after a series of writer's block and brain freezes I decided what to write. Frodo ran up to the check in desk with Bella following behind. "Hello Mister! I'm on a mission… I gotta meet Gandalf the grey here… for my mission…. Wanna know what my mission is?"

"No thanks kid." said the guy running the desk as Bella stared disgusted at the cobwebs on the ceiling.

"I'll give you a hint… I'm going to destroy a certain thing in Mordor… wanna guess now?" said Frodo beaming.

"Just check in," said the drowsy man.

"Okey- Dokey," grinned the hobbit.

Frodo quickly took the check in book and signed in his name.

"Here ya go-" said Frodo handing the book back.

Bella looked over at Frodo, "Don't sign your REAL name! No one can know you were even here!" hissed Bella in Frodo's ear.

"OH! FRODO BAGAINS ISN'T MY NAME!" cried Frodo taking the book back.

"Saaaaam….G-am … gee…" sounded out Frodo as he wrote that in giving a thumbs up to Bella. "Ugh…. We're doomed…." said Bella putting her hands on her face.

~In other news….~

"Maybe we can follow her…"said Alice staring at Bella and Frodo through the gates' key-hole.

Emmet and Alice had been following Frodo and Bella since they saw them that morning coming out of the Shire. "I don't think so…" said Emmet peeking through a crack in one large wooden plank. "How'd they get in there when we can't even see them without peering through a centimeter long hole?" whined Alice.

"The author was too lazy to write how they got in," Emmet answered.

"Ugh….great…" sneered Alice.

They walked away from the gates disappointed.

"Sigh I guess we'll have to-mmhphp! Mmalisssssmmmmhelpmmmm" Emmet was stopped half way through the sentence while Alice looked around noticing Emmet was suddenly gone. "Great! Emmet- this is NOT funny ok?! Mmmpphmmmph!" All of a sudden an orc came out of no-where and shoved Alice in a bag as well as Emmet. They were carried away to who knows where as the orcs rejoiced over kidnapping who they thought to be hobbits.

~On the other hand~

"ARAGORN! ARAGORN!" cried Legolas. Gimli followed behind. Aragorn looked to the elf, "What is it Master Greenleaf?"

"They're taking Miss Swan to Isengaurd!"

Aragorn looked up, "What?!"

Legolas panted, "I was looking over the hills, where some orcs had been bragging about how they caught the ring when and I found this!"

"Dear Edward,

It pains me to do this, but I'm leaving, apparently I have to go destroy a ring… and now I have to go. Good bye.

-Bella

p.s. The gay one is with me, so don't go on a jealous rampage."

"BWUAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Aragorn, "Aha- oh this is funny, she already got kidnapped 5 minutes into the merging, WAIT- the ring…is with Frodo…GASP."

Edward immediately ran over hearing Bella's name. "What's all this laughter about?" asked Edward curiously.

"Nothing!" cried Legolas and Aragorn hiding the note behind they're back. "Lemme see! Lemme see!" cried Edward sneaking quickly behind they're back snatching the note.

"We gotta go after them!" he shrieked.

"…I agree…unfortunately…. Frodo has the ring, therefore we must save him."

~In the short time it took Emmet and Alice to be kid-napped, and Edward and Aragorn to notice and mistake them for Bella and Frodo~

"THROW IT IN!" cried Bella.

"…no..." hissed Frodo, "It's mine."

Then Gollum came out and smacked a rock over Bella's head. "He,he,he," croaked Gollum, "The fat mean hobbit won't get in the way now, preciousssss…" Gollum attacked Frodo and forced him to let go of the ring. Gollum followed after it and soon enough Sauron's tower… didn't crumble into ruins?

Frodo stared out of Mount Doom's opening and at Sauron's eye. "This … is … odd…." said Bella as Frodo twitched. Frodo ran out of the cave and onto a flat part of the mountain, "He isn't even looking at me!"

~On the other side of Middle Earth~

The portal slowly started closing and with a snap and a loud clap of thunder it shut.

~Back to Bella and Frodo~

"What happened?!" cried Bella

~And now to where to portal was just hovering~

Edward and Aragorn stared up at where it just was, when Brianna came barging through the crowd of Meyer's and Tolkien's characters. "EXCUSE ME! COMING THROUGH!" I called.

"Brianna! Thank goodness you're here! The portal closed - and I'm not in Forks… I'm here!" cried Edward.

"Shush Edwierd. Now listen, I know the portal closed and you guys aren't on the other side, I also know that I left some orcs roaming Forks (tee hee, cheesy rhyme.)"

"Then how do we get back to-" Edward hesitated…"oh no…." he pleaded.

"Yes!" I cried, "A FIFTH CHAPTER!" I cheered.

"NOOOOOO!" shouted all of the characters around me.

To be continued,

"UNFORTUNETLY!" cried Aragorn.