Chapter 4.
Love
It suddenly hit me that our argument had distracted me from the fact that he'd asked me to marry him! There was so much to think about, from the bear attack, to my first new change, to the realization that I loved him, to his proposal, and our first argument. I was nearly back, but I still wanted some time to think. I found a fallen log far from the shore and kicked the snow off to sit down. I was in love! Suddenly all I could think about was Kyle. I remembered our argument and I wondered if he really believed all the things he'd said about me. I wanted him to respect me, and I knew myself well enough to know that if he didn't then there was no way I'd ever marry him.
So what did my life look like if we didn't get married somewhere down the road? I could see myself in competition with him, always trying to prove myself and earn his respect. I felt the tears start and this time in the dark I let them flow, at least there was no one to see. Maybe I could take it for a little while, but I knew sooner or later it would make me leave. I was in love with him and he said he loved me too. In fact I believed he'd imprinted on me, or bonded to me in some way. But apparently that bonding didn't cover what he thought of me. It just meant that he'd have to accept the stupid, reckless, empty-headed, fragile ninny and hope she didn't get herself and him killed.
I felt a fresh wave of tears and they were starting to make me mad. I wiped my eyes and stood up. I'm not a crybaby and I wouldn't hide out on the beach all night! Kyle needed to know where I stood. I would rather end it sooner rather than wait until I felt like my whole world was wrapped up in him. Stupid tears! I wiped a fresh stream as I headed back. If I felt this much for him in two days, what would I feel in a week? Could I leave after a month, or would I be so wrapped up in loving him that I would endure all of his mistaken ideas about me? Maybe the old defensive Leah could do that, but I knew I'd come too far to go back to that now.
I'd have to leave, and soon! Maybe in the morning I could find an excuse to go off alone, and just never come back. I'd leave him a letter explaining why but I couldn't tell him ahead of time; I couldn't stand to watch him go through the loss. I knew I could get away from him, but I also knew it would hurt more than Sam's break-up had....a lot more! Why did love have to be so complicated! Why did it seem that life was out to get me again?
I was still crying when I caught sight of his home. No lights showed to the outside and if I hadn't known it was there I could have easily walked by it. I imagined him inside by the fire, with his scent touching everything. Or maybe he was painting in the back room, capturing another beautiful animal on canvas. I wanted to be with him, and yet I had to leave! I felt my silent tears suddenly gain a voice and the sound of my sobbing was washed away in the wind from the ocean. It didn't stop there, but built to a wail as I felt my heart breaking.
I saw the form coming down the beach, running to me. I couldn't see through my tears, but I knew it was him. I tried to turn off the crying, or at least turn away, but it was too late to try to control it. I felt my shoulders heaving and when he pulled me into his arms I was too overwrought to fight him, and still I cried. "I've been waiting for you to come back Leah.....I'm so sorry I said those awful things! Please don't cry Leah, I'm an idiot!" All I could do was wrap my arms around him and cling to him.
"Why aren't you in your house? What are you doing outside? Did you think I was going to get lost and need rescuing?" I wasn't angry, just curious.
"No, it's not that at all! I know you won't get lost, and I know you didn't want to see me following behind you. But I couldn't go in there without you! Leah I love you! I've been worried sick about you the whole time you were gone. Not because I think you're helpless and can't take care of yourself, or that you're reckless or stupid.....even though I never said that. I've been worried sick because I was afraid you wouldn't come back! I know you said you would, and I know you said you love me, but you were pretty angry, and I said some pretty bone-headed things." He held me tight and kissed my forehead.
"Leah, you're right, I forgot you're like me. I'm so amazed to find you and I love you so much that it just slips my mind that not only can we change, but we are both remarkably tough, strong, and difficult to kill. I just thought you were ….the woman I love in danger and I forgot everything else." He was looking down at me and wiping the tears from my face.
"Kyle I need to know how you see me and how you will be treating me in the future. Having your respect is important to me too. I need to know if you really think I'm fragile, reckless, and brainless."
"No, of course not! I admit I was angry today; that bear should have been asleep in some den until around March. She was almost as much of a surprise to me as she was to you. You're so fast, I didn't have time to warn you. I don't know who I was more upset with, the bear for being in the wrong place, you for running from me, or probably myself for not being there in time to keep you out of danger. All I could see was that angry mother bear hitting the woman I love into a tree like a rag doll! I was so upset I didn't even see you change, then I had the bears to chase away. By the time I came back all I saw was a pile of shredded clothes. I thought that I was too late!" He choked on the words and squeezed me tight.
"Leah, for just a moment I thought that I wouldn't be able to live without you. I could see my life stretching out in an endless, lonely eternity, and know that I'd had someone to love and lost her. It was more than I could stand! I guess what bothers me the most isn't about you so much as it's about me. I'm so wrapped up in you already! It's not that the choice has already been made, but there was never a choice to be made! I love you; I always have and I always will." He relaxed his hold on me as he looked down, locking his gaze onto mine.
"It's just so much easier for you! You can take care of yourself. You can be independent and come and go as you please. You don't need me! You get to decide if you want to be with me. I know it's not your fault if I stop breathing at the thought of losing you forever. But it does make me angry sometimes that I'm helpless to follow after you! And it's agonizing that you don't feel this connection the way I do! I need you Leah! Everything I have, everything I am; it's yours." I watched him and knew he was telling me the truth and that it was hard for him.
"You want to know what I think of you; how I will treat you and do I respect you? I adore you and I will treat you like you are my reason for living. No one will respect you more than I will. Because I will see the things that others might miss. I know about your past heartbreak, and I can feel how much it bothers you that people think less of you. And I know that you have triumphed over your past. And I am so awed that you've come so far on your own. I'm proud of the way you have learned so quickly what took me such a long time to learn. I'm impressed with the woman you are, and that you're not afraid to stand up to me. I'm also worried that you have already found my weaknesses. What am I in for with a woman like you? It's not my intention to compete with you; I want to be your partner Leah." He tipped my chin up and kissed me softly.
"I love you, I need you, and I respect you Leah. And if you don't stop crying I'm going to lose my mind! What's wrong love?" He wiped my face with his big hands and I smiled.
"I don't know why I'm crying, Kyle. The tear started and I can't shut them off!" I smiled helplessly. "They started when I first thought I might have to leave, but even though I'm not they still keep going! I hate this! I'm usually not this emotional!" I wiped my face on my sleeve
"You thought you were going to leave? Oh Leah!" He looked panicked and I realized I hadn't meant to say it.
"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I was just thinking that I wouldn't be able to stand it if you were helplessly in love with someone you didn't like or respect. I thought it would be better to leave as soon as I could before I was even more in love with you. But it's already too late; as soon as I thought of it I started crying and I haven't been able to stop. If I left now I'd have to tear my heart out and leave it here with you! I'd have to find some animal that I could change into that had no feelings, and stay that way!" I put my arms around him tight. "It seems I don't have as much choice as you think I do! I've never felt like this before; it scares me how much I love you already." I rested my cheek against his shirt and listened to his strong heartbeat. As his arms tightened around me I could feel the tears finally slowing to a stop. I belonged with him and I was just starting to get an idea that our bond went both ways.
We held each other tight and I snuggled against him enjoying his scent; muffins under a starlit sky. "Yes." I said to the man in my arms.
"What's that Leah?" He stroked my hair and I felt him kiss the top of my head.
"I just answered your question."
"What? I didn't ask you any question. What question?" He sounded confused.
"You asked me a question earlier today, before we met the bears." He was quiet and still, as his hands moved through my hair and down my back.
"Was it an important question?" he asked, and I could tell he was on the right track.
"I think it was important." I heard his heartbeat speed up, or maybe it was just my imagination.
He tipped my face up so he could look at me. "Was the question, 'will you marry me Leah?'"
"That's the one!" I smiled. "Do you still want an answer?"
"That depends. I want the right answer. But yes I still want an answer. Will you marry me Leah?" No doubt his heart was beating faster; it was matching mine.
"Yes Kyle, I'll marry you!" When we kissed I knew that I had made the only choice I could have made. I loved him and I knew I couldn't spend my life anywhere else but with him. Whatever differences we had we'd have to work them out because leaving wasn't an option for either of us.
He lifted me up and carried me to his door. Once inside we ate a late dinner and went about the normal things like taking showers and washing the dishes. It seemed so odd that I was thinking of one of the most important steps in my life while normal life happened around me. How much would change when he was my husband I wondered as he handed me a plate to dry, standing beside me at the sink. Would we stay here or move somewhere else. I thought about it as the water drained from the sink. No, I hoped we could stay right where we were; it already felt like home to me. He took the towel to hang it up and pulled me to him.
"I love you Leah, my fiance! Do you have time for making plans, or are you too tired from your day?" He kissed me then and my mind skipped forward to bedtime. Would our commitment mean that we would make love tonight?
"Kyle, when you hold me like this and kiss me, there's only one kind of plan I can think about." I looked up at him and smiled slowly. "Are you thinking the same thing I'm thinking?"
I heard him catch his breath. "Don't tempt me like that Tikaani; I'm not that strong where you're concerned! I think we need to make other plans; the faster I can make you my wife the better I'll like it. And then we can make those kinds of plans...anytime you want!"
We sat up for hours into the night planning a wedding. We were going to go back to my home so he could meet my family. He also wanted me to meet his sister since she was the only one who still accepted him. The others had drifted away from him as they realized he wasn't aging. He still saw his mother, but she actually thought he was his son. His father had died a few years before when he took his fishing boat out and drowned. He was in his eighties and Kyle suspected he did it intentionally. I wanted to get married with my family around me in the traditional tribal way. The details didn't matter to me any more. What I had in mind would certainly pale in comparison to what Sam and Emily did, but I didn't care. All that mattered was that we would belong to each other on paper and legally like we already did in our hearts.
He filed a flight plan for two weeks, and I knew shortly after we'd be married. I wasn't worried since I'd sent a message through Jacob to let my mother and everyone else know what was happening. "Whatever Mom wants I'll agree to, just keep it simple." I told him they could invite whoever they wanted, I had the right groom and nothing else mattered. I also warned him that we would be staying in Alaska afterward, and I'd probably be severing ties with his pack.
While I waited for the time to pass I practiced changing. A few nights after our engagement I was able to become a fox. For the first two mornings I woke up with him in bed beside me changed into the silver fox. On the third morning there were two foxes in bed. I thought he was going to hurt himself when he changed back so fast he almost forgot to cover himself! My third change had him more concerned than our bear encounter.
One morning I woke up early and went outside to watch the water. I saw a pod of whales and realized it was the Beluga's. I stripped down to my bra and underwear and waded into the freezing water. Once I was up to my neck I tossed my underwear out onto the beach. Kyle came out just as I'd started to swim their direction and I heard his frantic yelling from the shore. I swam back where he could hear me and assured him that I was fine and I'd be back soon.
As soon as the water was deep enough I concentrated on the music of the whales; their particular chirping noises and the way they moved. I dove down deep and closed my eyes and felt the water become my home. Even though it was deep for Leah, the white whales were limited so close to shore. I swam out flipping my strong tail through the water and surfaced to take in air through the hole in my head! It was just like Kyle had said, not pretending or imitating, but becoming the animal! The water was so warm and smooth as I hurried to catch up to the others. I stirred up a small school of fish and snacked on two before I realized it. Life was overwhelmingly joyous, and I leaped for the surface and cleared the water entirely before splashing back down.
I heard the first chirps when I was still a good distance from the pod. They were curious about me and welcoming as well. I easily communicated with them as I swam closer, and they used my help to corral a very large school of fish they were feasting on. And they played while they ate; while we ate. I told them I came from a much smaller pod and I wanted to see what theirs was like. They invited me to join them as they were swimming along the coast until the weather warmed up enough for calves. It was surprising how smart they seemed and how well their language communicated. Through their eyes and language I learned that I was a large and healthy looking whale, but they didn't understand why I liked to jump so much; did I have an itchy tail?
I'd lost track of time when I finally let them know that I was going back to my own pod, but that I hoped to see them again. I swam back, and it was easy to follow my own trail; I remembered how the water felt, and how the bottom looked and even how the air on the surface tasted. When I came back to where I changed I saw Kyle standing on the beach watching the water. I swam in as close as I could, and leaped in the air for him. I was too far out to splash him, but I know he saw me. I changed back to Leah and swam the rest of the way and called for him to toss my "bathing suit" to me. As soon as I left the water he wrapped me in a towel and held me tight.
"I don't think I'm ever going to get used to this!" He pulled me close and I snuggled into his warmth. "Leah, I don't know how you do that so easily; I've never even thought of changing into an ocean animal, and you go off and swim with whales! What's next, dolphins?" He groaned as my eyes lit up.
"I've found out something important. When we change we're always bigger than the normal animals. I mean I've seen that as a wolf, fox and the eagle, but I thought that was just because I was bigger than those animals. But I was also bigger as a whale; at least that's what they told me. That makes me believe that it has something to do with being a shape shifter. Everyone of us has a strong drive to protect, both ourselves and normal humans. If we're bigger than anyone else that would make it easier, wouldn't it? It might also explain why we are so much taller than other humans. I mean we're not the tallest, but there aren't many men who hit seven feet, and as far as other women go, six feet is pretty abnormal too."
"You've given this some thought haven't you? I mean what we are and how it all works." He walked with me back to the house and I scooped up my clothes on the way. "I guess I was just so convinced that I was the only one that I never gave it much thought."
"Well, I've been wondering for quite a while since for so long I wanted to get rid of whatever was making me change. I thought it was all about the anger, but I think that it's something else now. I'm not angry when I change now; I welcome it. And the changes are gentler too so I don't always destroy what I'm wearing. I think it's got more to do with wanting to settle down with a mate and maybe have children that makes us stop changing. Back home it's only the young that have changed. Those who are older and have families don't change no matter who their family is connected to. My father didn't change, but there are some very young ones who did. Your sister didn't change either. Since you are the youngest of your family I wonder if they are all married and have families?" He looked thoughtful.
"I have a brother in the village who never left. He still makes a living on the boats, but he spends his evenings in the bar. He's never had a wife or kids; I wonder why it didn't affect him?" He looked like he was getting interested in my thinking.
"I think that some things get in the way, like drinking or drugs. I think also settling down to start a family will change us too, at least according to the legends. I'm curious though if we'll have the same conclusion. Since we are both shape shifters, will we lose the ability by getting married and starting a family? I mean, I suspect that the ability isn't lost, but a choice is made. In our legends once the enemy is gone and the anger passes we stop changing. But what if it's about choosing to remain human? What if human isn't what we are naturally? What if we're compatible enough with humans that we are human until our ability is needed to deal with our supernatural enemies?" I was getting excited by some of my ideas and observances.
"Kyle, what if we're some kind of guardian race? You said it yourself that as soon as you saw the vampire you knew what you were here for. What if we're some kind of defense against vampires and maybe other supernatural monsters? We have this amazing subterfuge that lets us stay hidden until we're needed. We have imprinting that lets us find just the right mate to pass on our traits. We have the ability to become animals which are bigger and stronger than we are normally. And we can communicate with each other in our group using telepathy! I can't think of a better protector! I'm also beginning to wonder if there's not some sort of collective racial memory. It would explain why my tribe automatically becomes wolves even though we don't have to. And maybe your tribe has something else they identify with, buried in some forgotten legend." I dried off and we went back inside.
In some ways I was more interested in finding out more about what we were than I was in getting married. In my heart and mind I was already his, the wedding was just a formality. In the two weeks leading up to our trip a package of my own clothes and things arrived and Kyle was able to pick them up from a nearby village. I enjoyed finally having my own clothes and there were also letters from my family. I wasn't sure if it was the distance or my divided loyalty that kept Jacob from knowing the extent of my news, but I couldn't wait to show my family what it meant to be a shape shifter.
By watching Kyle and studying him I was able to learn how to become a grizzly bear. I understood why he favored it since it was the most powerful thing I'd ever felt. I was still partial to the wolf since they were more about cunning rather than brute strength, but I imagined even if a bloodsucker could grab hold of us as a bear it would have much more difficulty causing damage.
I was starting to think like Kyle in wanting to learn how to become many different animals. But what I really wanted was to find out what we were in our natural shape. I was planning on doing some research as soon as the family reunion and wedding were behind me. I wanted to find out what kind of information there was on shape shifting. Considering both of our families were native to this continent I wondered how far back I would be able to trace our history. I wanted to go into legends and tribal history to see if I could find out what we were and how we came to be.
I was able to take time each day to either study an animal or practice changing. One day Kyle and I both changed into eagles and flew together. I wanted him to try a whale, but he hadn't had the chance to study them and the changes didn't come as easy to him as they did to me.
He took me one day to meet his sister and her family in the little village I'd watched when I was still a wolf. I was surprised at her age since she was in her early fifties and compared to her Kyle looked more like a son than a brother. She was kind and warm and welcomed us both for dinner. Her two youngest children were still at home, a lovely sixteen year old daughter and a seventeen year old son. His sister Lora didn't seem to have a problem with him, but she did ask how his father was doing and I realized she must have told her children that Kyle was her brother's son. The twenty-five year gap must be too much for her to try to explain. Her husband didn't make it for dinner, and she explained that he was going to eat dinner at the bar after he came in off the boat.
I made sure she knew she was welcome to come to our wedding, and I watched her daughter's eyes light up at the mention of it. I could see that her mother was looking for an excuse not to come, so I extended the invitation to her children as well. Kyle's niece was so excited she jumped up and hugged me as soon as her mother agreed to come. It would mean that Kyle would have to make another round trip right before the wedding or find someone to fly them down, but I knew it would be worth it to have his own family there. His niece/cousin's name was Ahnah, which was a traditional Inuit name and Kyle explained that it meant wise woman. Her brother was Akiak which meant brave.
Before we left that night Ahnah brought out a necklace and showed it to me. It was all hand carved white beads interspersed with small animal carvings; whales, bears, eagles, fish, seals, and wolves. "My uncle Kyle gave me this when I was little and I was very sick. He said the animal spirits were watching over me and I would soon get better. Mom said I had pneumonia and I got well not long after his visit." She handed me the necklace carefully. "Would you be able to wear this at your wedding? I think you're supposed to have something borrowed , and I definitely want this back!"
"I can't think of anything more perfect Ahnah! Thank you for letting me borrow your treasure." I hugged her and wiped my tears before she could see them; I must be getting soft!
"Will Uncle Kyle be at your wedding?" she asked with wide-eyed curiosity.
"No, I didn't give him enough time to make plans." Kyle answered. "He's up north on some polar bear tagging expedition and he won't be back until late spring."
"We're not having a very big wedding anyway." I explained. "In fact I'm not even sure of the exact date since I'm letting my mom plan the whole thing." As we were leaving we promised that we would let them know as soon as the date was set and we would make sure that they could make it to the wedding and back home again. We hugged them goodbye and I whispered in Lora's ear a thanks for the borrowed clothes.
The time went fast and before I knew it our trip was a day away. We packed up and loaded our suitcases in his pick-up truck. He hardly ever drove it and kept it hidden down a driveway into the woods. Kyle had done some routine maintenance on the plane to make sure it was ready for his trip. It was kept in a small hangar at a tiny airstrip a couple miles away. He assured me that the single engine aircraft was absolutely safe and that he was a good pilot with over 5,000 hours experience. It was once part of his job to fly. I wasn't worried since I knew that both of us could fly without benefit of a plane.
On the night before we were to leave we decided to change our routine. For two weeks we'd been taking turns changing into a fox so we could share the bed and not be tempted to go too far before the wedding. It was a comfortable way to sleep, at least for me since he was soft and warm to snuggle up against. When it was my turn to change it was more difficult for me to keep still and go to sleep. I often found myself staying awake just to look at him as he slept. On the last night we decided that neither of us would change and that we'd sleep fully dressed so we would be ready to go first thing in the morning. It was likely the last night we would share a bed before we were married.
I snuggled against him as he wrapped his arms around me. "I don't know how I'm going to sleep with you so close to me, Kyle. I'm going to miss you when we have to sleep apart. I'm excited to see my family again, but there's a certain amount of drama that comes with them."
"You mean to tell me your mother won't let a fifty year old man move in and sleep with her daughter?" I was already giggling before he finished his question.
"I never thought about it, but you're closer to my father's age than mine! We might want to keep your age a secret for as long as possible; Mom's a widow and I don't need the competition!"
"Leah! You know there's no competition....but what does your mom look like? – just in case you get cold feet." He teased me and tried to block as I slammed an old feather pillow into his head. The game was on and in seconds we were wrestling, swatting with pillows, tickling, pinching, and even biting. We were both laughing like kids and the bed was a mess! When he tossed me onto my back and sat astride my body holding my hands pinned, I was still laughing too hard to fight him. "Say uncle and I'll let you go!"
"Okay Kyle, that's enough, we have to put the blankets back on the bed and I think your lamp might be broken." I laughed and tried feebly to break free.
"Say uncle first! Better yet, say 'you are the strongest and the smartest, and I bow to your superior awesomeness!'" He grinned down at me
"Come on Kyle, this isn't funny." I tried again to break free, a little more insistent. "You keep this up and someone's going to get hurt!" I wiggled under him and he laughed. He bent forward and licked my nose and I tried again to dislodge him.
"Come on Leah, where's that sense of competition now? Have I finally found something that you aren't better at?" he leaned down and kissed my lips. "I never knew you to give up so easily. I guess you'll just have to admit it, just say 'Kyle is the strongest and smartest and I bow to his superior awesomeness!' and I'll let you go. I'll even let you say 'ditto' if you don't think you can remember it all." He was still laughing and playing. But it was starting to remind me painfully of the games I'd played with my pack back home where I always came out on the losing end.
I made one more attempt to throw him off, digging my feet into the mattress and giving a twisting thrust with my body trying to dislodge him. I almost succeeded but his size made the difference and he was still looking down on me after my best try. I closed my eyes and relaxed. I let my body go limp and stopped fighting. I laid perfectly still....and waited.
"Ready to say it Leah? I'll be happy to let you up then, just bow to the master!" I could hear his playful voice and I held still. "Come on Leah, don't be like that, you know I'm just playing with you." I could hear the touch of concern in his voice, but still he didn't let up. "Come on, is it so hard to just say 'ditto?' I won fair and square, you know I'm stronger than you, why can't you just say it?" He loosened his grip on my hands a little and still I waited patiently. "Come on Leah, talk to me.....I love you!" He raised up taking his weight off of me and I felt his hands relax their grip. I knew he could clamp down on me in a second if I moved, so I continued to lay silent and still.
I felt him relax and when he leaned forward to kiss me he wasn't taunting me anymore. I stayed still and pliant and silently counted slowly to ten as his lips caressed mine. On ten I struck. I caught his lip between my teeth and bit down, hard! At the same time I yanked my hands from his slack grasp and pushed his shoulders with all my strength as I shoved with my legs and body to overbalance him. Caught completely unaware he toppled sideways and landed on his back. I heard the lamp crash to the floor as it slipped from where it was lodged between the wall and nightstand. I was on top in a second, pinning him beneath me and holding his hands in mine.
"Kyle, you are the strongest and I am in love with your superior awesomeness!" I kissed him and noted that his bleeding lip was already starting to heal. "You may even be smarter than me, but you'll never get me to admit it." I kissed him again and he wasn't even trying to fight me. "You just forgot that wolves are the most cunning animals." I smiled down at him. "And everyone knows if you want to get away from a bear you just have to play dead!" I smiled down at him as he looked up at me with a stunned look on his face.
"I can't believe you bit me!" He looked like his feelings were hurt and I was suddenly worried that I'd gone too far. I let go of him immediately and was about to offer an apology when he grinned up at me. Lightening fast he flipped me and I was looking up at him again. "You're not the only sneaky one Tikaani!" He kissed me then, stretching out on top of me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. In seconds what started out as a game became serious. The man I loved was in my arms and we were alone in his bed. When he tore away from me it was all I could do to let him go. "Leah," he breathed, moving away from me, "I wish there was a way we could move that wedding date up....to about NOW!" He got out of bed and picked up the lamp which hadn't broken in the fall. "I don't know how I'm going to sleep here beside you like you're not the most desirable woman in the world!"
"What if we spend some time just talking? I can tell you all about my crazy family and friends, and that should take care of any passionate thoughts." I smiled at him and he laid back down keeping some distance between us.
"I still think it might be better if one of us changes. I tell you what, you start talking and If I still can't control myself in fifteen minutes I'll go canine." he smiled and I resisted the impulse to cuddle up next to him.
I spent some time telling him all about my family and friends. I told him about the Cullens and how their presence seemed to have brought about our change. I made sure to tell him the legends of the first werewolves, which I now had to think of as shape shifters. Some of the stories were easy, but some were difficult; especially those about Jacob and the pack split. It was also hard for me to talk about my dad's death even though my mom was getting better and seemed to be moving on. I wanted him to know everyone and feel like a part of my family, but I also wanted everyone to like him.
After I had been talking for a while I could tell Kyle was having trouble staying awake. I turned off the lights and laid in the dark listening to him breathing. I was feeling too excited to sleep. I was excited to be flying with him and I was eager to see my family again. I was also curious about when my wedding would be and what it would be like. All I could gather from Jacob's thoughts was that Mom was excited about the planning and it would be nice.
I laid awake for a while looking out at the moon on the water. I heard Kyle ask softly, "Are you awake Leah?"
"Yes, I can't sleep....am I keeping you awake?"
"Yes, but not because of what you're doing; I can't stop thinking about you. I wish we didn't have to be apart until the wedding; I'm going to miss sleeping beside you even if one of us is a dog. It means a lot to me that you chose to be with me and marry me even though I didn't give you much time. If you have any second thoughts we can still wait. I don't want you to feel like I pushed you into something you weren't ready to do." I could hear the uncertainty in his voice and I slid over and put my arms around him in the dark.
"I love you Kyle; more time isn't going to change that. Becoming your wife is just the legal part of it; I'm already yours. I am excited for you to join a large family who can accept who you are and what you can do. It is a secret among us, but you'll gain sixteen other brothers." I felt him squeeze me tight and I rested my head on his chest. I closed my eyes wrapped in his arms, his scent and his love.
I don't know when I drifted off to sleep, but in the morning we were snuggled together like we'd only just closed our eyes. We jumped up and got ready to go with a quick breakfast and some last minute preparations to secure his house. The drive to the airstrip was uneventful and we loaded our few bags into the plane.
I watched as he went through the pre-flight checklist, leaving none of the details to chance. There was room for six passengers, and still some space for luggage. In no time it seemed we were ready to go. He made sure I was buckled into the co-pilot's chair and he went through the last few checks before he taxied onto the small runway. I watched him fascinated as he guided the plane down the runway and in seconds we were airborne. We flew in silence for a while until the radio signals came in stronger. He kept in contact with air traffic control all along our trip.
One advantage to flying in such a small plane was that we could see so much of the scenery below us. From Alaska to Washington I was able to admire a lot of wilderness. We didn't talk much since the engine noise made it difficult to hear. I was also worried about being a distraction . When he spoke it was most often about the flight or the plane. "You need to learn to fly Leah; you'll love it! You learn so fast I'm sure you'll be an ace at this in no time. Besides it will be good for you not to have to depend on me so much; just in case something came up and you needed to travel and I couldn't take you. I know you like your independence."
"I thought the purpose of this trip was so I could give up on being so independent?"
He snapped his head my way so fast it almost dislodged his headphones. "Of course not! Leah, I don't want you to give up who you are! I love your independent streak, even when it scares the daylights out of me. It's who you are, it's how you came to me, and I don't want you to change it, Tikaani!"
"Do you mean that? I didn't think you liked me going off on my own or being so competitive." I looked at him as he once again concentrated on flying us through the fluffy clouds.
"Of course I mean it. I don't want to change you, I just want to be with you. Like I told you before, if I get worried about what you're doing, that my problem not yours." He reached over and held my hand so he could concentrate on keeping the plane steady through a patch of turbulence.
Thank you to those of you who have read this far! Only 11 more chapters to go; it's worth it I promise.
Also I've started a new story about the Romanian vampire Stefan. It's much darker than this one and I'm excited about how it's unfolding. Look for Dark Roots: Stefan's Loves if you like my writing.