Thank you for all of your lovely review and without further ado the next chapter

Warning: Self Injury

The Needle and The Damage Done:

I sing the song because I love the man

I know that some of you don't understand

Milk-blood to keep from running out.

I've seen the needle and the damage done

A little part of it in everyone

But every junkie's like a settin' sun.

-Needle And The Damage Done-Neil Young

John Moore, the youngest child and only son and heir of Sir Thomas Moore, woke up in the middle of the night to a loud crash. Unlike his sisters, John was a light sleeper and was awaken by the tiniest of creaks. He sat up and looked out the window to see it was still pitch black outside. His father would usually come home around this time from court. He sighed and laid himself down into bed.

"FUCK!" His father's voice shrieked in an agonizing tone.

On impulse John jumped out of bed and sprinted down the hall. He knew what that horrid shriek meant. His father was either A) practicing in self flagellation again (which was not the case this time because John had once again disposed of his father's whip into the river upon his departure to court that morning), B) in deep trouble or C) having one of those chest pains.

He entered his father's bedchamber and gasped. His father was sitting on the floor of his bedchamber. There was a knife in his hand and there were three horizontal cuts on his left arm.

"Father," John shrieked running over to his father and ripping the knife out his hand, "what are you doing?"

Sir Thomas looked up at his son with a scowl.

"What does it look like I am doing boy?" He said. He was drunk John could smell the ale on his breath. "I have no whip to tame my disobedient flesh. So I must resort to this measure."

John rolled his eyes as he slid the dagger into pocket. Usually when his father would whip himself it would be because his eyes wandered to another woman. John thought it was ridiculous. His father was a humanist. He knew very well that he was allowed to have human emotions. He then walked over to the pitcher of water left out for his father and poured it into a bowl. He then reached for a handkerchief and put it into the bowl.

He then walked over to his father and knelt in front of him. A shiver went down his spine at his look of dismay written on his father's face. But John didn't care he just took the wet handkerchief and began to clean the cuts. As soon as the water touched his skin a hiss left his father's lips.

"I don't understand father," John said quietly in his squeaky tone of voice, "why if you are so sensitive to pain, that you abuse yourself like this. What happened this time? Staring at Queen again?"

Sir Thomas snarled and turned his head away from his son. He had to mention Katherine. The woman was the last thing he wanted to think about now. Especially since he enjoyed making love to her. The truth made him feel dirty and disgusting. He was married and she was another man's wife. Not just any man's wife but the King's wife.

"You're too young to understand," He said sternly. It was a rather poor excuse for a answer since John was close to marriage age.

"Father I am 15 years old," John said with a chuckle as he reached over his father's shoulder to grab some cloth to bind his wounds, "that is not an excuse anymore. If you made a mistake and slipped into temptation a little it's not the end of the world. Well all make mistakes. Isn't that the nature of man?"

"Spoken like a true humanist," Sir Thomas said with a smirk amongst his pain and delirium, "I am impressed. The next thing I know you will be in one of Erasmus' and my humanist circles."

John shrugged and continued to tightly bind the wounds. Both men watched as the clean white cloth become stained with blood. Something pure stained, with something evil. It was exactly how Sir Thomas felt right now.

"Father," John said again tying off the cloth, "I know there is something wrong. Alice left and didn't come home tonight. You look like hell washed over you. I know Meg's the one you tell everything to. But Father, now that I am older it's time for you to start confiding in me as well. What's going on?"

John lifted his hand and placed it on his father's shoulder. His father turned his head away.

"I don't know if the contract allows this but I'll ask Uncle Harry in the morning," His father said sternly, "but if it is so on pain of death…you cannot tell a soul."

John's hair stood on end. His body started shaking, "Contract?" He gasped "what contract?"

Sir Thomas took a deep breath: "Sometime within the next year…you are going to have a new baby brother."

"He almost fainted when I told him," Sir Thomas said with a sigh as he walked in the gardens with Bishop Fisher that next morning, "but he was surprisingly understanding and said if my daughters turn their backs on me he would still support me . He then asked me if that meant we're finally getting rid of the harpy?"

Bishop Fisher turned his head towards Sir Thomas and raised an eyebrow, "Well from what I seen when I had stayed over your house," He then replied, "and from what you had told me on the dynamics of the relationship, I say I am not surprised at that comment." He then sighed and walked to the nearest bench to sit down, "as for your son you shouldn't be surprised nor should you underestimate him. I do admit your one flaw is that you are so focused on your daughters' progress that you fail to see the progress your son has made as well. Last time I was over I had a conversation with him, he speaks like a true humanist."

Sir Thomas took a deep breath. He then walked over to the bench and sat beside Fisher folding his hands onto his lap. He was right he needed to pay more attention to his son.

"Now I know this is personal my friend," Fisher said again breaking the brief silence between them, "but you still haven't told me about what happened last night. Did it go well?"

Sir Thomas chuckled and turned his head away from his friend. "It was awful," he just said, "First Harry starts humiliating me over my back. Then Katherine starts pretending to care for me, just so she could get me to bed." He started laughing harder, "and I fell for it. I actually believed she cared. But I was dead wrong."

"I don't recall her majesty telling me she was acting," Bishop Fisher replied furrowing his brow, "she told me this morning, she also told me you treated her like her husband: cold. She was about to speak her mind when you stormed out of the room."

At his friend's comment, Thomas stood up appalled. First she manipulated him to sleep with another man's wife whilst he was still married, now she was turning his good friend against him. "So you are taking her side then," Sir Thomas said staring at his friend straight in the eyes.

"I am taking no one's side here," Fisher said crossing himself since he never seen this behavior come out of the other man before. "But look at yourself, this is not Sir Thomas Moore but a heathen at court!"

"You try breaking your vows of chastity and then you will know how I feel," Sir Thomas said leaning forward.

Before the Old Bishop said anything else Sir Thomas stormed off. He sighed. He knew Sir Thomas was in denial for now, but soon he would realize the truth.

"This is the right thing to do Henry," Katherine said as she sat with her husband upon the throne, "he feels very lowly for doing this for us, this will make him feel special."

She tried to remain cheerful but deep inside she was a mess. She wondered why Thomas Moore, the most caring, most modest and most gentle man in all the land or at least at court wouldn't give her a chance. Was this the dark side of the man she had never seen? Maybe the rumors about him being kind and gentle towards a woman were a lie. But it couldn't be! She couldn't even picture him strike a fellow courtier let along a wife batterer. He was different.

It was why she chose him to do a risky task. If another man like say Charles Brandon were to engage in this final attempt to conceive an heir, they would brag about how they lain with the Queen but got away with it. But not Sir Thomas, he would engage in a task like this with dignity and composure. Of course that was not fully the reason why she chose him there was that other hidden reason.

"I doubt he would accept it," Henry growled tapping his fingers against the armrest of the chair, "hell he didn't even appreciate being knighted."

Before Katherine could reply a pageboy called out:

"Sir Thomas Moore here to see you."

Katherine sat upright in her seat. She bit her lip a little. She hoped Henry did not read off her reaction of fear. But she was self conscious of what Thomas was thinking. Would he look her in the eye or would they ever have their plethora of conversations again? Did he think ill of her now?

"Majesties," The sad somber voice of Sir Thomas Moore said quietly.

Katherine moved her eyes over to Thomas. It was if he transformed over night. Instead of bowing deeply he bowed shallowly. The smile that she fell in love with was a frown. His dark eyes did not light up like they used to.

"Kneel," Henry said sharply.

Katherine furrowed her brow as Thomas obeyed. God the man sacrificed everything to give him the thing he desperately wanted and all Henry could give him was a cold response. She sighed as she studied Thomas' kneeling posture.

He was down on one knee. His back was straight up in a perfect posture. It surprised her considering how much of a nervous wreck he must have been at the moment. His hands were folded neatly on his knee. He turned his head for a moment to stare at her furrowing his eyebrows before snapping his head forward and bowing it down towards the floor.

"Sir Thomas," Henry said strongly as he rose from his seat and walked down the dais steps, "since I was a mere boy of 12 you have been in my service. From teaching me the ways of ruling a kingdom, to consoling me when I was depressed, I consider you my most trusted servant." Henry stopped when he was suddenly standing in front of him and there was a pause of eerie silence. It was when Sir Thomas lifted his head to gaze upon the king, fully clothed this time thank god, when Henry spoke again, "and last night you sacrificed all that you stood for to give me the thing I always wanted. For that…it is my duty to inform you that you are to be made the Duke of Surrey."

Most men when they found out they were to be elevated to a duke, they would smile, weep, even kiss the kings feet upon the news. Sir Thomas did not act in the ways of a normal man. Instead he took a sharp intake of breath and turned his head away.

"Well," Henry said calmly for the first time during this whole ordeal, "aren't you going to say something?"

Sir Thomas blinked a few times to hold back his tears. He then closed his eyes and bowed his head down to his towards the ground. He took a deep breath whispered: "I cannot accept an honor." He paused to sniff, "especially now…I feel it's an honor that I do not deserve."

Henry walked behind him with a chuckle. He then placed his hands on the lawyer's broad shoulders. "Now, now, Thomas don't be so modest you're not a saint," Henry said as he bent down to bring his mouth to the humanist's ear. He then snickered again before dropping his voice to a whisper: "at least not anymore."

Sir Thomas, who held his emotions in for as long as could, just let go. He buried his head in his hands and wept. Henry then stood up and brought his hands behind his back. "You elevation ceremony is to take place once it is confirmed that my wife is indeed with child I'll leave you to take the situation in."

And before even Katherine could say anything Henry left the room. The room was silent only the sound of Thomas' sobs filled the room. Katherine sighed and slowly got up from her seat. She took a few slow steps. She was afraid of how he would react to her comforting her, especially since his spirit was so low.

She took a deep breath and knelt in front of him smoothing her skirts in the process. In her mind she prayed that the interaction between them would be better this time. Whether or not her future son will know if Sir Thomas was his real father Katherine wanted to protect them from the chaos that may arise from this.

"Thomas," She finally had the courage to say. In her heart she knew it was a lost cause, but it didn't hurt to try. "I know last night didn't go as well as either of us had planned. But I want you to listen to me."

Katherine lifted her hand to touch Sir Thomas' cheek. For a moment he closed his eyes lightly and leaned into the touch. Katherine prayed it was a sign that he saw her affection to him. But as she got her hopes up he opened his eyes.

"I know what this is," He said as he snapped his head away, "It's a trick to get me back in bed. I don't want to further my pain by believing that you love me."

Katherine was paralyzed as Sir Thomas sharply stood up and bowed. She didn't know what to do. She was strong enough to admit her secrets but this secret was different. This secret could kill the both of them and turn her poor daughter into a bastard. Was that even worth risking just to boost the man's spirit?

No, she was not going to let him go again. She knew he was stubborn and stingy with his beliefs but that wasn't going to stop her. He NEEDED to know. Just as he was about to walk out the door she immediately rose to her feet and cried:

"I can't believe I am saying but you are wrong Thomas, you don't know me nor my feelings and intentions."

The lawyer stopped dead in his tracks. He did not turn around. He just stared ahead at the door.

"Thomas I want you to listen to me," Katherine said as she slowly started to walk over to Sir Thomas, "before you leave there is something I must tell you. Something I tried to tell you last night but you left before you can hear it you left in a flash. Something that haunted me since the first time I saw you." She gulped and felt tears forming in her eyes. The butterflies that were in her stomach that came every time she saw him escalated. Her heart fluttered rapidly as she came closer to him. She took a deep breath: "I find myself attracted to you."

She waited for a reaction. But he still did not move from his spot.

"I tried to be rid of it," she mused as the lawyer's back remained facing her, "prayed that it would go away. You think you are the only one who seeks to tame their flesh. I have to wear a hairshirt every time you come to court."

Suddenly Sir Thomas winced. His back tensed up and his shoulders arched. He took a deep breath before finally turning around to face her. His eyes were shinning in tears. His lower lip was quivering.

"How do I know that what you speak of is not lies?" Sir Thomas said his voice cracking.

Katherine took his large callous hand into her own. She took a deep breath and looked around the room to see if there were any spies before resting it on her left breast where her heart was beating rapidly. Sir Thomas gasped and started to shake. He knew if someone saw them in this position he was good as dead.

"Don't be nervous," Katherine said rubbing is arm lovingly, "but I want you to concentrate on my heartbeat. This is how it beats when I see you."

Sir Thomas started breathing harder. He knew that heartbeat well. Joan his first wife may she rest in peace had that heart beat when she was in his presence. He had that heartbeat in two situations. When he was in the presence of his first wife and…when he was around Katherine. Suddenly a smile formed upon his lips. How could he be so blind to the fact that Katherine really did care about him?

"I know that heartbeat well," Sir Thomas said lowly, "for my heart beats in the same pace every time I am around you. I denied it in myself but now…I see it. Will you ever forgive me for being so stubborn?"

Katherine smiled and put herself onto her tip toes so she could bring their faces closer.

"Yes," She said bringing her face even closer to his, "but I will be rather disappointed if our child turns out to be just as stubborn as you."

With a laugh coming from the both of them their lips finally met. And for the first time Sir Thomas began to come to peace with the situation.

Next Chapter: Free Again

A month passes. John Moore Thomas' youngest child moves into court and Thomas who is finally at peace with his situation goes for a second round. Katherine finds out weeks later she is with child and Thomas is granted permission to tell his children that there is a sibling on the way resulting in mixed reaction from his daughters.

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