Author's Note: I wrote a chapter 3 before the one I actually posted. I decided to scrap it and start over, but I thought you might be interested in reading the original. I felt like it just didn't reflect on Derek very well, and that it made him appear weak. I also felt that it made him even more 'dislikable.' And at this point in the story, there are enough reasons not to like Derek without adding to the pot. So, anyway, if you'd like to read it, here it is. The next chapter, however, will pick up where the last one left off. It will be as though this one never happened. If you decide not to read it, you're not missing anything. If you do decide to read it--enjoy!

"And you watched her walk out? Without a word?" Jesse asked incredulously. "Dude, that was stupid!"

"What do you know from stupid?" Derek asked. "You're almost 40, you just moved back in with your parents…" He leaned over the mattress and peeked at the lower one. "And…you're still afraid of the top bunk!"

"Dude," Jesse said. "Don't do that! It freaks me out!"

Derek chuckled as he pulled his body back up onto the top bunk. "I know," he said. "Why do you think I do it?" Jesse had lived down the street from Derek for as long as he could remember. They'd been best friends since junior high. He was the brother Derek had never had.

"So are you gonna tell me what happened with you and Jazzy?" Derek asked.

Jesse sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Don't make me hang over the side of this top bunk again," Derek threatened. "You made me spill all my shit, now it's your turn."

"She cheated on me," Jesse said.

"What?!" Derek asked.

"Jasmine cheated on me," Jesse repeated.

Derek swung his legs over the top bunk and jumped down, then sat down in the chair next to the bunk beds. "She cheated on you?"

Jesse nodded. "Yeah. I came home from work to surprise her for lunch—it was our anniversary. And she was fucking him right on the living room carpet. And you know what really sucks?" Jesse asked.

"What?" Derek asked.

"I worked so much overtime for that damn carpet because she just had to have it. If I'd known she was gonna be bangin' someone else on it, I wouldn't have fuckin' bought it."

"Bitch," Derek said angrily.

Jesse laughed. "I'm thinking a four letter word that starts with a C."

"If she'd been my wife, I probably would be, too," he said. And then, "See? Aren't you glad I'm not married?"

"Why would I be glad you're not married?" Jesse asked confused.

"Because marriage sucks," Derek said. "Someone either ends up dying or cheating, and then it's a big old mess."

Jesse sat up on the side of the bed. "Marriage doesn't suck," he argued. "Being cheated on sucked, yeah. But when we got along, marriage was great. We got married for all the wrong reasons, Derek."

"Why did you get married?" Derek asked curiously.

"Because the sex was hot," Jesse said. "I mean…really hot. But once we got out of bed…we just didn't have anything in common. We couldn't see that because we were too young." He shrugged. "I should have known better. The only thing that surprises me…is that we stuck it out for as long as we did."

"I'm sorry, Jesse," Derek said.

"You shouldn't be," Jesse said. "I'm just glad we didn't have kids."

"Would you do it again?"

"Get married?"

Derek nodded.

"Hell, yeah," Jesse said. "And I plan to. But this time, I'm gonna get married for all the right reasons."

Derek didn't say anything, just sat there in silence.

"Hey, here's a question for you. Why did you have to come all the way to Chicago to talk to someone about this? Don't you have any friends in Virginia?" Jesse taunted.

Derek frowned. "No. Hotch—my boss—isn't an option. And Reid…well, he's Reid. And all the women hate me for breaking Penelope's heart."

Jesse laughed. "A world where the ladies aren't givin' in to Derek Morgan. Now that's a world I'd like to live in!"

___

"Where's Derek?" Penelope asked casually as casually as she could the next Monday.

Prentiss looked up from the file she was studying. "Chicago."

"Right," Penelope said quietly. "For Fran's birthday."

"What?"

Penelope sighed. "It's just…he goes home every year for his mom's birthday. I forgot about that."

Prentiss threw the file down on her desk. "You OK?" she asked.

Penelope nodded.

"Do we need to get you laid again?" Prentiss teased.

Penelope's eyes flew to Prentiss'. "How did you know?" she asked in disbelief.

Prentiss rolled her eyes. "Because I could hear you moaning when I was in the hallway," she reminded her friend.

"Oh," Penelope said in relief. "Right." Thank God. She thought Emily knew she'd slept with Derek, and the questions that would come from that…well, Penelope was sure she couldn't handle it. "I'm just gonna…go back to my office now." She turned to flee. But she wasn't quick enough.

"What aren't you telling me?" Prentiss asked.

Penelope turned back around. "Nothing," she lied.

Prentiss gave her a stern look. "Then why are you fidgeting?"

"Have I ever told you how much I hate profilers?" Penelope snapped.

Emily grinned. "A time or two," she returned. "And stop trying to change the subject. What's going on?"

Penelope sighed. "Residual grief, I guess."

Prentiss smiled softly at her friend. "Missing Rick?"

"Derek, actually," Penelope admitted.

Her friend nodded. "It's gonna be a looong week if you're missing him already."

It was so much more than him being gone this week, but she wasn't about to explain that to Prentiss. "I have to…go back to work," she said, heading for her office.

___

"Why in the hell aren't we throwing a football back and forth?" Derek asked as he tossed the softball back to his younger sister.

She grinned at him as she caught the ball. "Because the last time we did that, I was ten; you were sixteen. And when you decided it would be fun to tackle me, I ended up with a broken clavicle," she reminded him.

He grinned at the memory. "Oh, yeah. That was a fun day."

Desiree snorted. "For you," she said.

Derek laughed as he caught the softball again. They threw the ball in silence for a few minutes. "Why aren't you married?" he finally asked.

Desiree froze in surprise. "Whoa," she said. "Nosey much?"

"Just curious," Derek said. "Don't you think it's odd that not one of us is married?"

Desiree shrugged. "Not really."

"It's like we're all afraid to get married."

"What?" his sister asked in disbelief.

"That there a million things that could go wrong," he concluded.

Desiree stood there studying her brothers' face for a moment. "I'm not married because I haven't fallen in love yet. And Sarah's concentrating on getting her masters. Don't drag us into your issues," she said with a laugh. "We have plenty of our own. Is that why you're not married?"

Derek shrugged. "There are no happy endings, Des."

"What about all the things that could go right?" she pressed.

Derek didn't say anything.

Desiree smiled sadly. "It's really sad that you think that. I…" She sighed in disbelief. "Don't you remember how happy mom and dad were?" she asked.

"Yeah, 'til he died," Derek said.

"Yeah, until he died," she repeated. "But…do you think mom would have traded one second of their life together even if she knew how it was going to end?"

Derek stood there for a moment. The question was one that had never crossed his mind. "No," he said honestly.

"That's right," Desiree said, and then shrugged. "I'm not married because I haven't found that yet." She dropped the football and put her hands in her back pockets, standing there studying him for a moment. "We thought you had," she said quietly.

"With Penelope."

Desiree nodded. "Yeah. What happened, Derek?"

"I couldn't do it, Des," he said.

"Why not?"

"Everything was perfect."

She looked at him in confusion.

"I didn't deserve it, Des."

Desiree laughed in disbelief. "Perfection doesn't just happen, Derek. It's something you work long and hard for. If you're lucky enough to get it, then you do deserve it!"

He didn't say anything, just stood there for a minute.

Desiree walked over to him and smacked him on the back of his head.

"Boys are so dumb!" she said as she stomped off.