30 Minutes

Out of sight
Out of mind
Out of time
To decide…

I watched the rain pelt depressingly against the warming asphalt. Ever since that fateful day, I couldn't think straight. Couldn't understand what I had done wrong. And in the falling light I realized that I didn't want to know. I shouldn't have given it to him. I knew he wouldn't understand. He may be a mathematical genius, knowledge of broad sciences, but he would never be able to understand the art of symbolism.

Outside I could see the romantic exchange between Libby and Sheen. You would have thought that it would be me and Jimmy. But no, it was they who found romance, and I who had lost hope. It made no sense…

It bothered me now that we didn't argue anymore. Things hadn't gone back the way they were before. I had to do something, anything. I couldn't let things slip from my grasp again.

Do we run?
Should I hide?

For the Rest

Of my life…

So I was standing outside in the pouring rain, my hair limp in its conventional ponytail. Gathering strength within my self, I knocked on that fallen shack.

"Whose there?" I saw no image, but heard his distinct voice.

"It's…me Jimmy, can…can we talk?" A buzzing of sounds clicked around me.

"What is it Vortex?" Ouch…it stung how he refused to use my first name.

"I…I wanted to talk to you." The harsh water was falling harder.

"Come in." I expected some sort of drop, or anything remotely terrifying and painful. But the door just opened, and inside was he who haunted my every waking thought. I remembered the lab; I had been in there before…so I didn't understand why he wouldn't let me in now. His arms crossed, he regarded me closely before speaking. "What do you want?"

Can we fly?
Do I stay?
We could lose
We could fail

I was soaking wet, the water dropping onto the floor.

"I…thought...umm…well…" Ice was bestowing itself upon me from those eyes."I thought maybe we should…discuss…" I struggled to find the words that had perfectly formed the shape of my mouth.

"Discuss what Cindy? You're wasting my time." I tumbled backwards as the force of his words slapped me.

In the moment
It takes
To make plans
Or mistakes

"Libby and Sheen…" I had meant to say us. It was screaming in my head.

"What about Libby and Sheen?" I wrapped my arms around myself. It was freezing, and I was sure it wasn't just the temperature.

30 minutes, a blink of an eye
30 minutes, to alter our lives

"Well…I…I was thinking we could try for them. As friends you know? She's my best friend, and your Sheen's. I think…"

"You think it would be best for them that we got along. Understood. I will come up with a suitable contract and I will contact you in school." He turned away. I thought for a moment he was shaking in anger or fear or something…but then...he was composed like before.

"Umm Jimmy we don't really-"

"Cindy I'm very busy." I gave up.

30 minutes, to make up my mind
30 minutes, to finally decide

I failed. I left that hut of his, mumbling incoherent replies to his parents' babbling as they sat in the garden. The sun had come out, but it should have been raining. I wanted it to be stormy as the gods through their angered weapons upon the weak mortals. I wanted floods crashing in as pirate ships haunted the severe seas. I wanted hurricanes and torrential downpours as the evils of the world consumed everything into darkness…

30 minutes, to whisper your name
30 minutes, to shoulder the blame

But that sun still shone, as though mocking my pain. As I stumbled across the street to the safe haven of my home, that storm I had wanted so badly hit. It hit harder then anything could have. And all I could do was whisper his name…

30 minutes, of bliss, thirty lies
30 minutes, to finally decide

Jimmy

I felt…well I couldn't really say how I felt. Betrayed? No…because that's how I wanted to justify my actions. But really it was out of spite…out of hurt and longing. I couldn't watch her walk away. It already hurt to see her so helpless.

Carousels
In the sky
That we shape
With our eyes

Goddard had witnessed everything so I asked for his advice. "Goddard options."

"Say Your Sorry." No…that wouldn't work. Even then, I didn't want to say I was sorry.

"Next option." His screen never changed. But he was just a mechanical dog, he didn't understand anything. He didn't see what she placed in my hand…

Under shade
Silhouettes
Casting shade
Crying rain

It had stopped raining outside. But I knew, that it didn't stop for Cindy. I knew what she was feeling, because it was killing me too.

Can we fly?
Do I stay?
We could lose
We could fail

"Come on Goddard, I have some work to do."

Either way
Options change
Chances fail
Trains derail

Taking the long route to my lab, I walked painfully. I wanted something, something to take it away. I wanted…I wanted Cindy. But we could never be and she just couldn't understand that.

"Option 2: Be together" I knew what the screen meant, but I refused to recognize it. What life gave us we couldn't change.

30 minutes, to whisper your name
30 minutes, to shoulder the blame
30 minutes, of bliss, thirty lies
30 minutes, to finally decide

So I had to be content with what I had. Even…if only for those precious 30 mins it seemed…I had her.