And the Winner is…

"People like you are the reason why stories like Twilight are popular. So if you really value the health of this fandom and your dignity delete this atrocity."

Charlotte wrapped up her last flame. Forget the contest; it was going to be a full time job just trying to be an honest reviewer. How had Hazel been able to stomach this garbage?

Just then Charlotte saw that she had a review reply. The whole thing was rather unimpressing and only increased her eagerness toward an anti-fangirl movement.

"Ur just jeelous of my AHMAZING riting skills!

Rub a monkey's tummy!

Rub a monkey's tummy with your HEAD!"

She didn't know whether to be disappointed about the author's spelling or the fact that the main insult came from a children's book.

Hazel came flying up the stairs, "I just emailed my report on the like, awesomeness of romance to you!" She called cheerfully. Then she frowned, "You can use my facial cleanser whenever you want, before me."

Charlotte glanced suspiciously at her. Hazel was not known for generosity. At camp she once got into a catfight with her half-sister over the last bottle of hot pink nail polish. And who could forget the Golden Mango?

"Anyway, I'm so going to win this contest," Hazel said smugly, but she was actually unsure. She had put a lot of work into the real life section but the fanfiction example… not so much. She had really just copied and pasted a link at random from some story she hadn't even read. She was hoping that Charlotte wouldn't notice.

Charlotte opened up her word document primly, "Ah yes. Here's my fanfiction example," she said. She clicked open to the *headdesk* story.

AnNaBeTh or RaChEl?

"Diclamer: OMG I DoN't OwN PjO WaHhHhH!!!!!!!!!!1!!

"I luv you percy and I want yu 2 dump Annabeth for me. Said Rachel. 'OMG I hate you rachel!" said annabeth. Ten Annabeth ran away. Oh Noess!" said percy "come back Annabeth! He ran after Annabeth and left Rachel. I hate da world!!!11! said Rachel.

ThE EnD"

Hazel just stared, "And your point is?" She asked, confused. Charlotte *facepalmed* er, put her head in her hands. Hazel had probably favorited this story, put it on story alert (even though it was a one-shot), and favorited the author. Now that she thought about it, the author had written five other stories. Four all about Percabeth and one Artemis-gets-another-daughter fic. It was times like this when she believed in the apocalypse. Who knows? Maybe on 12/21/12 Athena will start reading fanfiction?

"Yeah but you don't have a like, awesome example of real life bad romance," Hazel jeered, sticking out her tongue.

"It's called Tiger Woods. Google him," Charlotte growled, rubbing her temples.

"Isn't he like, a golfer or something?" Hazel asked, completely missing the point as usual. She was the only blond that all blonde jokes applied to. Feel free to test it out if you can.

"You know what? Never mind. I really don't have time for your irrationality today. I have to make some idiots cry and no, I'm not referring to you. Let's just read your… proof that romance is…pure awesomeness and then we'll be done."

"Okay," Hazel replied. She hadn't been really listening to Charlotte's complex speech but she had heard the word "awesomeness" and "you" so it must have been good right? So that means Charlotte totally knew that she was going to win right?

Hazel read her new message. There were lots of other new messages too. All from fanfiction. She gasped, "Hazel! You used "there" instead of "they're"! Finally!" Hazel smiled pompously, thank the gods for .

There was silence for a few minutes as only the still falling snow pattered against the house and then Charlotte exclaimed, "I can't believe that you had a crush on clay and didn't try to lock lips with him."

"I never said that," Hazel protested, "It's just that like, none of them worked," she remembered the one with the peanut butter fudge ice cream. She winced, how was she supposed to know that Clay was allergic to peanuts.

"So you had a crush on a guy and actually moved on? Instead of burning pictures of him in the back yard and crying in the bathroom for weeks?" Charlotte asked in awe.

"Yeah and know I've ah," Hazel glanced down at the hastily scrawled words on her arm, "matured emotionally from the event and that's my reason why romance is awesome!"

"Okay so your real life romance was the best and my fanfiction anti-romance was the best so I guess we'll have to call it a tie," Charlotte announced glumly. Then she blinked, "Wait! I haven't read your fanfiction romance yet!"

The daughter of Aphrodite chewed her bottom lip, "Well you don't have to. I mean, it's a free country right?"

"Wait. What's Love's Labor's Loser? I've never heard of it before. What is it about?"

Then, conveniently for the author, the power went out.

"That seemed rather planned out," Charlotte muttered in the pitch dark.

Fin

AN: The end! Okay, I really want to know if anybody can figure out where the "Rub a monkey's tummy" quote came from. I think the book is a T.V. show know so it shouldn't be to hard to figure out.

Thanks for reading everyone!