A/N Sorry for the slow update everyone, I saw how many people have added this story to their favourites already and I feel kinda bad with my terribly slow writing. I've had a million laptop problems which has affected everything I've been doing on the internet, the slow servers barely kept me up-to-date with e-mails, let alone this, so I'm now posting. Plus, I've found it really hard to channel my inner Clark, and I've had to re-watch episodes around the end of the fifth season/beginning of the sixth season (not that I'm complaining ^_^) to make sure that I don't prematurely mention anything on Clark's behalf. Anyway, enjoy!

Previously...

In the mean time, Lois decided that another peak into the delves of Clark's thoughts would help keep her mind off of the unfamiliar feeling of claustrophobia which was creeping over her. She had never considered herself to be afraid of something specific, but now in the dim light, she felt uneasy at the thought of wasting away in a dusty box. The next date seemed familiar to her.

"May 11th 2006"

"Dark Thursday?"

Lois knew that this entry would have to have some emotion in it, after all, it had been a country-wide epidemic. It was like the entire population of America had contracted some mental condition causing their instincts, that were supposed to have been eliminated after millions of years of evolution, to surface. They were like animals. The sudden loss of technology had pushed everyone over the edge. Lois remembered the screaming and yelling of the aftermath - the countless sob stories of which still plague the real life channels to this day.

She couldn't be sure whether this was fortunate or not, but she had missed the entire thing because she and Mrs Kent were rather occupied at the time with a pilot gone bad, who decided that flying a plane into the stratosphere would be a good idea. Lois didn't remember much of that day, but what she could put together was amazing. After losing consciousness she came to in a palace of ice. Chiseled columns of frozen water towered above her, creating spectrum after spectrum of light to dance around her vision. She vaguely recalled voices around her, saying her name as if they were talking about her rather than to her, before she was engulfed in a bright white light. Lois' only explanation was that she had died and gone to heaven, but, before her passing could become permanent, her mother had fought for her life. She had begged with some higher power to send her back into the plain of the living and naturally she was - well, it's not like anybody can say no to a female Lane. Next thing she knew she was waking up in the Smallville Medical Center. At least the experience had been a form of confirmation that she was going to end up in a good place - though Clark may not be happy at the thought of Lois not having to worry about needing to be any nicer, not that he ever went easy on her.

Shifting her weight, Lois felt one of her butt cheeks fall asleep. She twisted over so that she was lying on her stomach, leaning over the diary on her elbows, before she was once again lost into the delves of Clark's mind...

"I'm so confused..." Lois couldn't decide whether to roll her eyes or laugh - 'Isn't he always?' "I have so much to think about. I literally have the entire world's fate resting in my hands, one wrong move and Earth becomes nothing but a distant memory. I don't see why I have to carry this responsibility around with me, it's as if I was the one out of six billion people that drew the short straw. No matter what my parents say, I know that I can't do this. I'm not experienced or special in any other way apart from one little thing that frankly, doesn't give me any better judgement than anyone else. How can anyone expect me to choose what happens next? Especially when there are people like Chloe, my Mom, even Lois to some degree, that I know could make a way better decision than me. Chloe is the smartest person I know, while my Mom always seems to know how to do the right thing and Lois, well, even though she can be rash, her heart's in the right place and she is kind of wise in a way." Lois scoffed. She knew that she should feel terrible for opening Clark's diary that he surely hadn't written for anyone to read, and she did. But there was no way he'd ever say anything like this to her face. It was scary seeing this side of a completely open Clark, and refreshing too.

"But they'd definitely have solved this issue by now. Lex was abducted by Milton Fine this morning - in broad daylight, in front of Lana and in the middle of Maier's field, I might add - leaving only the symbol for Zod burned into the field as a clue. Well when Chloe told me, I could tell from then it wasn't going to be a good day. I could feel the spotlight inching towards me and, after all of these years of keeping it as far away as I could, I'm just glad that Lois isn't here (she's going to Washington with my Mom) or otherwise she'd never leave it alone. Damn the curiosity of that family! I swear there must be a gene for it somewhere, because Lois and Chloe? They must have double dominant genes in their genetic makeup, and that spells bad for me. If Lois ever found out about me... well I know that she'd yell- she always yells. But if she'd accept me? I have no idea. But even suspecting the truth would cause her ability to find trouble to quadruple in power and she'd never let me protect her being all anti-damsel-in-distress."

Lois wanted to deny this, but it wasn't a secret that she was against the whole 'helpless women needing big strong men to save them' stereotype. And she did yell at Clark slightly more than the next person but that's just how it was with them, one sarcastic remark to the next. But the whole her getting into trouble thing? She wasn't that bad... She's only been nearly killed a couple of times... But the point is that she's still alive... and trapped under the debris of a bard that could cut off her air supply at any moment. Okay, she got his point.

"Anyway, I had pretty much no other option than to got to the fortress. After all, Jor-El had to to with Dad's death, I hadn't been there in a while. He'd decided to take Lana away from me and then tried to take Lois after I had asked for a do-over. But I didn't get there in time to help Dad, I know that I will never forgive Jor-El for that. Whoever he had taken- Lana, Lois, Chloe Mom or Dad- I never would have forgiven him. How can someone just do that? Take someone's life and not even care."

Lois stopped. Mr Kent's death hadn't been an accident? This 'Jor-El' person had killed him, after making attempts on Lana and herself too. When Lana was nearly hit by that bus? And when she was electrocuted? But the most amazing thing about the whole thing was that Jor-El was still alive and Clark knew that he had murdered his father. Lois was just lost in all of these code names: Jor-El, Milton Fine, Zod. But why were Chloe, Lex, Lana and everyone all the same? Surely it would make sense to put everyone into a code. This guy was getting weirder and weirder by the paragraph.

"Which brings me onto the next problem. The guy who insists that, being my biological father, he knows how to make me the 'saviour' of the human race, wants me to kill Lex. Why? Because his body is the vessel of General Zod - the guy completely responsible for the destruction of my home and biological family. Which is, well, great... just great. Oh and he gave me a dagger to kill him with."

"Wait! 'Biological father'? His biological father is who exactly? Uhh! Why the hell does this have to be so confusing?" Lois scanned ahead looking for the sentence that said 'my biological father is called...' but found none.

"But even when I went to Chloe, we can't come up with any alternative and Lionel said something that had me thinking: 'The real test of a hero is knowing when the greater good will be served by an evil act.' Does that mean that even if I murder, it's okay if I save millions of lives? I don't think that it would make me any better than any of the guys I'm protecting people from. So maybe I'm not a hero, but I'm not a killer either. I'm not my father. Even if, like Lionel says, Lex can do anything I can do, that doesn't mean I should kill him. But I won't let him hurt anyone either.

"So being the stupid guy that I am, I went to the mansion looking for him. But he wasn't home, Lana was. She knew about Lex and hadn't run away horrified, she'd told him to stay away from me. She had overheard everything me and Chloe had said about killing Lex! She was already on his side and I hadn't even done anything. How could Lana choose to trust Lex over me? I know my honesty isn't my greatest quality, but I'm the better person to trust. Right?"

Lois couldn't argue. Clark had always butted in on her life, determined to save her from any danger- usually the guy she's dating at that time- she may be in. If you were in trouble, Clark was always there to get you out of it.

The next line caught Lois by surprise, it was slightly obscured by dried water drops that had blurred out parts of the printed writing. Tears perhaps.

"The words she uttered before she left will forever be seared into my mind. 'I don't know how I could have ever loved you.' "

"Ouch... Okay that was harsh, even by the Lana-Clark love-hate relationship standards." It was almost heartbreaking.

"She doesn't love me."

Lois could see Clark's heard being torn to shreds by the thought. Lana had meant everything to him, but soon they would be happy again. Though, after their most recent separation. Lois had a feeling that their attempts of happiness together were over.

"If only to make things worse, Fine turns up and makes a crack about Zod valuing her allegiance. Just because I don't kill doesn't mean I wouldn't punch him, hard. He then goes on for a few deluded moments before he turned to the computer and it was enlaced in symbols. I rushed over to Chloe and found Metropolis going insane. Fine had used this virus to shut down all of the technology and it was spreading. A car crashed into the Planet building and nearly hit Chloe, the screams of yet more accidents taking hold of the city. A simple virus taking out a whole city seemed nothing to the threat of what Zod could do. I had to do something, but Chloe wasn't safe, I didn't want her to get hurt while I was gone. But she made me see that she wasn't going to be safe ever again unless I sorted everything out. So I had to leave her, but not before she walked up to me and kissed me. It was so unexpected, I didn't even think she liked me in that way anymore. But what shocked me even more is that I responded and... I liked it. Do I like Chloe in that way? Could we be more than we are now? Or was it just a spur of the moment, crazy, goodbye forever kind of kiss, since it's likely that I won't survive much longer. I don't really know. But there's not time to wonder about the crazy hectic mess that is my love life (or friendships). I'm about to meet Lex in the barn, but I wanted to write all of this down so that I can have a clear head when I see him.

"I've got the knife Jor-El gave me, but I don't know if I can use it. I'll just have to see when I get to the Farm. I'll write soon, if I can.

-Clark"

Lois was starting to think that Clark was insane. At least he didn't seem insane, but what he was writing was insane. It was Smallville, but killing Lex because he was being inhabited by a General from hell? She just couldn't get the idea that Clark Kent of all people was stuck into the middle of all of this and that he was more than the Kansas farm-boy he appeared to be. That thought in itself meant that she needed a one-way ticket into an insane asylum.

Flicking forward a few pages, she found out that Clark defeated this Zod after being trapped in the 'Phantom Zone'. But stopped short when she found an entry that caught her attention.

"October 19th 2006."

"The day Clark met Oliver..."