Lovesick Melody Chapter 9: Not As Long As I Love You, a naruto fanfic

.:Lovesick Melody:.

A/N: Well here it is!!!!! I didn't get much reviews for the last chapter and well, that was disappointing. I think everyone left me when I came back from my trip from the Philippines. That's sad. Before I do anything else I wanted to answer a question a reviewer asked me, it was regarding my trip.

A: Yeah, it was fun. We spent a lot of money and well I have many things to talk about but I rather not because it's so long to go into detail. It sucks that you don't have a fan fiction account, most of my reviewers don't. O.o, oh well. As long as I get some it's fine enough with me. You know that Boracay is so beautiful? You could see through the water from above!! Uh-Maze-Ing!

P.S: THIS IS THE SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER! FOR SURE.

I cried into my hands. Why wouldn't he let me speak my feelings? My hands moved to grip the sheets on the couch while the tears continued to roll down my cheeks. My heart was thumping but not in nervousness, nor joy. Just sadness. I was scared of what was to come. The same question kept running through my head, Why wouldn't he let me speak my mind?! Is this your final answer, Sasuke? A image of his figure walking away from me flashed in my mind. Once again, my hands covered my face, "Kuso.."

It was ending. No, it finally has ended. This is truly the real parting. I love you. I love you, I love you. This emotion. I have felt it before. I feel unloved, and unwanted. All I could do at the moment is cry. I love you. This emotion has no place to go, and won't reach anybody because I know that the only person I will ever love is going to be Sasuke. No matter what.

Following what I was ordered to do, I cleaned up and left. But at the doorway I took one last glance around my house. Empty, the air was filled with tension that I knew it isn't funny. When I shut the door, I nearly started crying once again.

The next morning when I walked into the kitchen I noticed a piece of paper on the dinning table. Picking it up, my onyx eyes scanned it. I was reading it in my mind and then I knew I did the wrong thing, I should have listened to what she said, put it was to late now. If I didn't leave, then I would be behind my schedule.

Dear Sasuke,

I will always be cheering you on.
Please take care of your body, and please eat properly.
Stay well..
Goodbye.
Sakura Haruno.

I placed the paper back down and left the house. A back pack behind my back and then I started toward my journey, "Sakura.." I whispered to myself.

"Another coffee, Sakura. Make it Cafe Au Lait!" Sasuke placed his hands behind his head and then leaned back against the chair, "Damn, I'm so tired!" A laugh came out of Sakura's lips as she commented about his hair being a total mess. Sasuke had just smirked as I placed the cup of coffee he wanted in front of him.

With a gasp, I opened my eyes. I looked at my surroundings and sighed when I found that everything was in its place. It was just another dream. The only odd thing is that I have been seeing them a lot lately. Even though it passed nearly two years since the last day that I saw Sasuke. I haven't heard from him since. A bark came from her left side as the cute little Pomeranian puppy she bought three months ago, "Hana-chan, wait!" she held up her hand and the dog instantly stopped on its spot.

Sakura pulled out the dog bowl and filled it with dog food contents. While she placed a plate of left over pasta from yesterday, "This is human food." I have a new boyfriend, his name is Gaara Sabaku. He's twenty five years old and he is an intern for the International Chief Cooperation. His dream is to become a chief.

"Morning, Sakura-Chan! Hana gets her food first? And I get mine second?"

"Sorry, sorry. I can't help it. Hana is just so cute." We met on my first day of college and we've been going out a few months after we've met. At the moment, we've been going out for four months. We were both nervous because we weren't really familiar with the campus. Sabaku-san is very nice. He loves Hana just as much as I do. his facial expressions are never mean, and he speaks to everyone so kindly. I saw Gaara holding Hana up to his face while my little pup licked him.

"When I see you two like that. You guys look similar, Gaara-kun looks like a puppy!"

"And Sakura-chan looks like a cat!" he teased. Well, I guess I can see where he got that. I mean now with my hair cut up to my shoulders, and how last year for Halloween I was dressed as a kitten. But in my head, a picture of his face flashed in my head. With Sasuke's eyes and facial structure he was most definitely a carnivore. Maybe a wolf.

When a felt something wet and slippery make contact with my skin, I realized what I was doing. Why was I comparing them!? They were both different. I held Hana in my arms and kissed the top of her head, "Do you love me that much, Hana?" I said cuddling her to my chest while Gaara laughed loudly.

"I won't lose to Hana.." I heard Gaara whisper and before I knew it. He pushed me toward him, his lips and face so near mine. Before I knew it, his lips were placed upon mine. So different from Sasukes, much more rough.

"Ouch!" I yelped pulling back from my boyfriend, I stared at Hana, "Hana! Don't do that. Stop chewing on me."

"But she can't help it, she's toothing." Gaara pointed out.

"..I just don't have that courage." I sighed lamely sipping on my straw that was drowned into a cup of iced tea. It was amazing at after all this time Ino and Hinata were still my friends. We've helped one another when the other needed advice and how at times we would have a friendly 'talk' when someone was bothering one of their friends.

"Sakura, you're already what? Twenty? I don't get why you're still shy. It isn't like it's your first time or anything.... Wait, hold on." Ino said but when I gave her a warning look she said, "I'm not going to ask."

"Yeah, please don't.."

"Sabaku-san should be more aggressive too. He's afraid that you might despise him so he is hesitate. I feel for him." said Hinata shaking her head slowly, "I remember when me and Kiba did it. We went pretty fast. We saw a hotel and we decided to spend the night there. If you know what I mean."

"Are you serious?!" I complained, "Even the sweet and innocent Hinata lost her virginity before me!"

"You've got to be kidding me!" said Ino referring to how Hinata lost her... well.. yeah. I then realize that I can't keep on using Hana as an excuse for avoiding what Gaara wants to do with me. I sighed and then rubbed my neck because of the stress. I don't want to think about this anymore. Honestly, I was saving myself for Sasuke.

Well.. Plan A didn't work.

Why can't things go back to the way they were? I was hanging around in my boyfriend's room, "Sakura-chan. Are you okay with the time? I mean it's getting pretty late."

"Mhm. It's fine. I don't have any classes until late afternoon."

"Then would you like to spend the night.. with me?" I guess that was his way of asking if I would sleep with him. It was an open invitation.

In my mind, my conversation with my friends replayed. We couldn't continue like this, I realized. Hinata - that sweet, innocent girl - lost her virginity before me. I know it shouldn't matter but somehow it did, "Okay.." But I couldn't find the words to decline his oh so kind face. I was in this situation before in high school with Naruto. Sasuke's face kept on popping up in my mind and I had to refuse him. That was the day I realized I loved Sasuke.

I was startled when I realized that Gaara somehow got me on his bed. Now it's different. It passed two years and I should be over him. For the moment I should just think of Gaara-kun. Another action shocked me, he shook his head, "Sakura-chan. Let's not today, okay? Just go to sleep." He laid down beside me and smiled. The moment I was going to ask why he answered for me, "Sorry. I rushed things didn't I? Sakura-chan, you aren't relaxed at all!" he laughed softly, "You're even forgetting to breathe!" Oh yeah! I took a long intake of oxygen as he continued, "You don't have to force yourself, I can wait until your comfortable and ready!"

My eyes stared in amazement. What kind of man would. He was so warm and kind who held a big heart. Instead of questioning I simply thanked him while he just wished me good night. I wished him good night and I realized...

I wasn't in love with him, that's for sure but..

I wanted to be kind to him as well.

After school the next day I was walking to my apartment. On the way, I decided that I would go window shopping. When I passed a pet store I awed at the puppies running around through the mirror. I thought that maybe I should buy something for Hana who was waiting at home. Maybe that jerky for puppies! When I was about to walk in the store a figure caught my eye. Tall, and longish spiked up hair that was midnight black. Before I knew it, I took off in a run. Today was such a bad day to wear heels. When I was within reaching distance I grabbed his arm, "Sasuke!"

When he turned I flushed white. The man had a wart on his nose and a lip ring, "Huh?"

My grip slipped slowly, "....Sorry. I was mistaken.." He walked away with a confused look on his face. My heart ached.

"Can I stay over tonight?" Gaara asked with Hana sitting down next to him. I smiled at him and our gazes locked in a stare when I agreed, I wanted to be connected with him firmly and strongly. Strong enough that I won't turn my head to anybody else. So strong that my heart will be filled of Gaara.

In bed, naked he intertwined our fingers as he whispered he loved me. I froze but he continued to nip at my neck he repeated it again. I blinked once; twice. My voice didn't come out. I tried convincing myself that I love Gaara Sabaku. When I opened my eyes to stare into his eyes my heart didn't skip a beat and my stomach wasn't filled with butterflies like every single time I got them with Sasuke.

Tears pooled in my eyes and before I knew it they fell over. Like someone jumping over a cliff. Was I sad..? Enough to make me cry? Enough to trap in my voice? I haven't cried in a while... ever since my grandparents death, "I'm sorry.." he said. I didn't understand myself. I just stared at him with teary eyes, "There's someone very special to you in your heart. When you cry. You cry because you're turning your back on your real feelings deep within you. In other words, it's natural for your body to reject me. I cried while looking at him, "It's okay." His hand rested on my cheek then moved to my forehead, "Go to that man." His hand ruffled my hair.

Gaara I am so sorry. I took advantage of your kindness and hurt you. I didn't know why my voice was still stuck in my throat. That was the day, when Gaara and I broke up.

The next day a fellow classmate of mine went up to me and offered me to hang out with them and some friends. Sadly, I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore so I passed, "Huh? But aren't you single now?"

"I am, but I'm just.. really busy right now and I don't think I have any time for parties for a while."

"So you won't be free for a while?"

"Yeah."

That day I took the long way home because well I felt that I needed a walk. My heart ached as Gaara's words ran through me head, 'Go to that man.' He said. But I can't go anywhere. Because we probably won't see each other anymore. When I passed this hotel I glanced at the sign and my heart nearly ached with longing.

8th Floor.
"Uchiha Sasuke Exhibit"
Passion for beauty in live and nature.

Before I knew it, I found myself gazing at a beautiful scenery of an autumn day. It was so beautiful. I noticed that he's using more happy colors. Full of light. And by just staring at it, I could feel the warmth. Sasuke is working hard. The note I wrote. I'll always be cheering you on, Sasuke. Even if we're far apart and we can't see each other!

"Wow! Look at this painting!" my ears couldn't help to ease drop on someone's conversation, "It's so different from the other ones but it, like, speaks out to you. You know?"

"Yeah." I made my way behind them and my eyes widened and my mouth fell open, "It even makes us feel sad. It was probably a very painful parting. My heart started beating three times faster as I remembered that day as if it was yesterday. The person in the painting was slouched over, her face buried deep within her hands. My heart was in pain when I realize I was wearing the same dress I wore that day. I then wondered, at that moment. Were you said as I was? Did you feel the same way I felt?

Sasuke, I want to see you. I want to see you right now!

I ran to the woman behind the desk, "Excuse me. Do you know where Uchiha Sasuke is currently residing?"

"Sorry, but I can't disclose that information."

"You don't understand. I was once related to him! Please! I must meet him!"

Her face turned into an annoyed expression, "We have so many customers insisting the same thing these days. Since Uchiha-sensei is talented he is also very, very handsome. I mean. Very good looking." It was so obvious that she liked him. My head dropped when I entered the elevator, alone and disappointed.

When I got to the eighth floor I double checked that I hate my sunglasses on. The moment I got to my secretary I knew something was wrong because she had those creases in her forehead, "Oh no! I was just speaking with a very persistent customer that wanted to know your address." she smiled.

"Oh. I always welcome fans but..."

"She even told this obvious lie that she was once related to you.." That replayed in my head. It must be her. It has to be. Before I knew it, I took off in a run not needing to hear whatever else she had said. When I reached the ground floor, I ran out of the hotel and frantically searched the area. I panted but I ran all around the place desperate to fine Sakura.

Ever since the day that we parted I felt that she took a piece of me and I'm desperate to get that back. My onyx eyes fell on a person who was wearing the same dress Sakura wore when we parted. I immediately knew that was her, "Sakura!"

What else was there that I could do? I visited his exhibit and that woman refused to help me. Maybe wishes don't actually come true. At least, that's what I thought before I heard that same voice calling my name. Although deeper, I knew it was him. I turned and my breath caught in my throat as I took in his figure. He got taller, and more masculine. Sasuke's midnight hair got slightly longer but other than that he was still the same. His black shirt was ruffled and he was panting showing that he ran, "Sakura, right?" It probably shouldn't surprise me that he found me so quickly. It's not everyday you see a girl with pink hair, "It's been a while."

My heart literally stopped. I was able to see him? Then I asked the most outrageous question, "Are you real..?"

"Huh?"

"It's just that... you look kind of different. You look like a starving band musician." I laughed inwardly when he looked irritated. Then I asked myself what the hell was I saying! This was supposed to be a dramatic reunion, "Don't get me wrong! You look like an artist all right..."

His face was then serious, "You've.... gotten older." My jaw dropped as I stared blankly at him, Sasuke then chuckled lowly, "Just kidding.." he leaned closer to me, "You've gotten prettier."

"Sasuke!!!" I complained.

He put his hands up in front of him, "Sorry! Just trying to get back at you!" It was amazing how I didn't even feel the heart break that I felt when we parted. Sasuke then grasped my hand, "Want to talk some place else?"

"....Sure.." I smiled brightly at the man that I love. And I knew the place that we should be talking in I led him to our old house. When I unlocked the door I wanted to explain everything to him, "Tidy, isn't? It's exactly how it was before... I come here occasionally to clean up a bit." I swung the key around my finger observing the cleanliness of the house.

"I thought you'd be renting it out." he said unsurprised as he was also checking the place. I offered him a seat on the same old couch as I sat next to him.

"....This house.." I started finally breaking the silence, "is full of so much memories of you, mother, and me living together that I didn't once think that I would have some stranger rent it out." I left out the part of this house being the only memory I had left of Sasuke and I living together in the same house. The second we entered I went straight to the kitchen and apologized to Sasuke, "I cut the electricity in this house.."

Sasuke then grinned and turned his face toward me, "Well then. Want to tell scary stories?"

Nervously laughing, I passed. I then realized this might be the only time I might get to see him, "Beside that... can I make a confession? I've kept some things a secret from you and I want to get it off my chest.

"If you're talking about your hidden stash of money behind the audio equipment then you really shouldn't bother because I know about it." Sasuke smirked at my shocked expression.

"You knew!?" I coughed slightly, "No. Not that. Listen to me! I'm being serious!" Sasuke turned into a carefree and easy going guy. I never in my life thought that would happen. Two years surely does change someone, "Some time ago. A while back.. I made a childish request to you. I asked you to kiss me. And you did." The scene played in my mind as I recalled the day, "You were drunk at the time so you didn't remember it the next morning." My cheeks turned a bright crimson, "Oh. And when you fell asleep on the sofa.. I kind of did it again. Sorry." Does stealing kisses make me an assaulter?

"In that case, I have something to confess to." he said. Sasuke's knees were brought up to his chest as he relaxed into the couch, "One day when you had a really high fever I gave you medicine. Mouth to mouth.."

"What?!"

"You were unconscious. What else was I supposed to do?" He looked up to the ceiling as I thought, was a kiss nothing to Sasuke? He wasn't surprised at all. That's not the case for me, "It was a tough day. I picked up up from school and had to carry you home. Damn, were you heavy." he chuckled darkly.

A few moments of silence passed before I knew what I had to do. My heart beat once again sped up and my hands gripped the sheets on the couch. I almost backed down, but I knew it was now or never, "The biggest secret of all.. is that.." my throat constricted, "I have always... loved you." The beating of my heart was so loud I struggled to calm it down. The silence wasn't helping. It was just made it worst. I said it, I finally did. But I knew I had to continue, "It was tough. Getting over you and everything but... Eventually, I got myself a boyfriend. He was really kind and I thought that it would be great if I could spend forever with him. And he was really good to me... That's just what I thought. But no matter what, I couldn't have sex with him. Honestly, I couldn't even say that I love him. My mouth just couldn't form the word. I finally realized that..." I have to say it to the man I love.. which is you, Sasuke. "I just couldn't do it.. Sometimes I feel like I can't ever love again."

"Oi, oi! Don't say that. You're still young." he objected.

I never turned my head to look him in the eyes, but I could feel his onyx gaze burning the side of my head, "I can't." I said keeping my eyes glued to the shadows on the floor, "Not as long as I love you.."

"I love you, Sasuke.."

A/N: Yay! I finished this chapter! Next chapter is going to be the last one and it's gonna contain a little lemon! Yep. I am so very excited because that means I get to work on other stories! I decided that I would go back and work on my older, stories before I make anything new. Plus, I need to get working on those requests! I'm almost done with, 'Limited Lovers' so that's good. But I haven't really got a plot for, 'What is Love?' so that's not really nice. I started partly on Love Luck. Anyway. See you on the next chapter!!!