Here we go again. Had a little bit more time today I wrote you another chapter. I hope you like it. And don't forget to write reviews. The song is "Have I told you lately" from Rod Stewart.

Love & hugs

Banygirl03

Bella POV

The whole way to the mall was silent. Jasper held my hand. I still couldn't believe he gave me a credit card. I wondered how much I could spend.

What I really couldn't believe that he almost had asked me to marry him. But if we did get married I didn't want the last name Hale. It just wasn't him. He took that name from Rosalie and even if I liked her I didn't want to marry her. I wanted to be a Whitlock. His REAL wife with his REAL name.

My thoughts were interrupted as we arrived at the mall in Seattle. I didn't know why we went shopping but I liked the idea anyway. The parking lot was overloaded and jasper let me off somewhere near the entrance to park the car and come back. Saying he didn't want me walking so far. I just laughed and got out. He truly was a gentleman.

As I stood there waiting for him I thought back to the scene in the bathroom. What he did to me had felt amazing and for a moment I felt confident and sexy. I know that I shouldn't think otherwise about myself but ever since the accident I couldn't dance anymore and my body got used to it. It started going "out of place". I wasn't as thin as I used to be. My muscles weren't shaped the right way anymore.

When I danced I was in the perfect condition. I could eat whatever I wanted because in the end I danced so much I wouldn't really gain weight. But now I did.

I didn't like the way my body looked now. Of course I didn't tell Jasper. I didn't want him to know. Sooner or later he would find out about my body and he would probably not like it.

My thoughts were interrupted when a pair of cold lips touched my forehead. "What were you thinking about, darlin'?" Jasper asked in a concerned voice.

"Oh nothing. Just how wonderful you are." I smiled. I wouldn't let him know what I truly thought.

"Thank you." He laughed lightly and took my hand. We walked around slowly and went into a few shops. At first we didn't find anything we liked. When we found a shop with funny stuff we went inside and played dress-up. I wore a pink dress and a feather boa and danced around crazy. Jasper pretended to be jumped right out of the movie "Grease". We laughed and had fun. When we looked around a little more we found a cowboy hat and I made Jasper wear it. It looked so cute on him that we bought it and had the tack removed so he could wear it.

When we came out of the shop I saw it. A shoe store. Heaven. I grasped Jaspers arm and dragged him into it. We ended up with three bags and Jasper couldn't help but laugh. When we went to pay I used the new credit card and what I didn't notice before was that Jasper had "Whitlock" printed on it instead of Hale. So when I paid the woman said "here you go Mrs. Whitlock" and for just a second I stopped. I had to smile.

When we came out of the story I still had a goofy grin on my face. "Why are you grinning like that?" jasper looked confused.

"Isabella Marie Whitlock. Bella Whitlock. I like that. No. Wait. I love that." I said.

"I love it to. It feels like the name was just made for you." He said and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Maybe it was" I whispered before I pressed my lips to his. A few little girls ran past us and stopped. They watched us with dreamy eyes and giggled as we kissed. I couldn't stop the thoughts of children. I knew that back when Jasper was born it was a necessary thing for a woman to give birth to at least one boy. That would make a family. And I wanted to do that for Jasper as well. I wanted him to have a little boy. But I knew this wasn't possible.

Jasper took my hand and we walked around a little more. We went into a Levi's store and found lots of jeans. And I mean lots. I tried on some boyfriends-cut jeans and Jasper almost ripped them off of me. Saying I should never try to wear something like that again? When I looked confused he came over and turned me to the mirror.

"A woman should never hide her curves Bella. It's something amazing. The way your breasts look in this shirt. Just looked at it. The shirt rounds them in the perfect way showing a little but never to much. Letting men think what may be underneath it. The jeans you wear today they play around your hips, showing the curve. They lead down your beautiful legs hugging your skin. The shoes you wear push your ass up just a little bit. Making it look delicious. Just right to touch. But when you were these jeans they hide everything. They don't form your body. They don't show anything. They won't let a man dream what the skin underneath may look like. You're a beautiful woman Bella. You've got curves like no other has. Yo have to show them. Let men get dreamy about your body and let women be jealous because they wish to have such a body. But don't hide it." He turned me around and I let a single tear slip down my cheek. "Why are you crying, love? Did I say something wrong?"

"No it's just. Well. I've changed. I didn't look that way a few months ago. I was thin and beautiful. I had the body of a dancer and now I don't. I look into the mirror and I see a girl that... well… I don't know. My body changes and I don't like it."

"Bella you're 17. You're body will change. You will turn into a woman day by day. You may not notice but I do. I see the slightest change in you. Your body prepares to be a woman. Your hips change so that a child could have more space. Your breasts grow a little every day. I don't mind all that. I love it. It makes you more beautiful every day. You get all the beautiful curves making you look like a goddess even more each day."

"I love you. I don't think I tell you enough." I whispered.

"You do. I know we don't have that much time anymore but we will try. I will not let you down. And now get out of these…. *beep* and change into something sexy for me." He said and I couldn't help but laugh. I bought 3 skirt and 5 jeans and 4 shirts. Jasper bought 6 jeans and a shirt.

On our way back Jasper bought me some ice cream and went to get the car. I hopped in and we drove off. Somehow during our shopping his hat landed in me and that's where it stayed. We arrived back home a little while later and Alice and Rosalie played dress up with me again. I had to wear everything again. After an hour of girly talk and clothes we went downstairs and I noticed I hadn't really eaten anything the whole day. But I didn't mind. It would keep me from getting any fatter.

We sat down in the living room where the boys and Carlisle were playing a game. I snuggled up to Esme who was watching them too. She ran her fingers through my hair and we stayed like that for a while. It was like mother & daughter should be. I never knew this. My mom would never do this with me. I knew she somehow loved me but maybe it was just because I could've one day be a private bank to her. But Esme did all these motherly things for me. And I like it. I sighed and snuggled deeper into her. "Esme?" I whispered. "Yes dear?" "I just wanted to know if it was ok for you if… well… if I would call you mom? I mean I say Dad to Carlisle as well and I just… well… never mind" I trailed off. Afraid of the answer, my mom didn't like me calling her that. Saying it made her look old.

"Oh Bella. That would be wonderful" I heard Esme say and as I looked up at her, her eyes were shining. Maybe I had finally found a real mom. I smiled and kissed her cheek. We sat back down and she would tell me funny stories about the family. Ever now and than Emmett would scream something and Esme would lecture him about language. Soon they all had enough of the game and we sat around the table just talking. Suddenly Emmett jumped up and screamed "karaoke" and I screamed "NO" immediately. I hated karaoke.

We still ended up singing. And when it was my turn I knew the perfect song.

When the music started playing I took a deep breath and started singing always looking into Jaspers eyes.

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you theres no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles thats what you do

For the morning sun in all its glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter
And somehow you make it better
Ease my troubles thats what you do
Theres a love thats divine
And its yours and its mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray
To the one, to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you theres no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles thats what you do

Theres a love thats divine
And its yours and its mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray
To the one, to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you theres no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles thats what you do
Take away all my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles thats what you do
Take away all my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles thats what you do

When I was done he came up to me and hugged me. We sat a little while longer and listened to the others singing when I thought it was time for bed. We went upstairs and Jasper went to the bed preparing it for me to have a peaceful sleep. I went to the closet and put out some things for the night and went to the bathroom taking a quick shower. When I stood infront of the mirror I felt strange. My legs felt like putty and my hands were shaking. I looked at myself and noticed how pale I was. I thought it would be good if I just lay down but when I tried to reach the door everything went black and the last thing I remembered was hitting a hard floor.

Jasper POV

Through the door I could feel that Bella wasn't feeling too well. I went up to knock on the door and ask her if she was alright when I heard the loud thud. I ran to the door and opened it. Thank god she never locked it.

I saw Bella lying on the floor; a little bit of blood running from her forehead. I took a deep breath which was a huge mistake. Belles smell surrounded me and for a second I didn't knew what to do.

Think Jasper! Help her!

I ran to her and touched her cheek. "Bella? Bella can you hear me?" she didn't react and when I turned her head around I felt the blood run down my fingers. I pulled my hand to my mouth and slowly licked the blood of. I had never tasted anything sweeter.

I tried to look at her wound and couldn't help but take another deep breath and started licking the wound. The venom would stop the bleeding first. Carlisle was nowhere near.

I picked her up and laid her on the bed. I went back to the bathroom and took out a towel and a washcloth.

I went back to Bella and cleaned her face. When I was done I bandaged her head making sure not to hurt her in any way. When I was done I called Carlisle and told him what had happened. I went downstairs and noticed that all of the others were gone too.

I went back to Bella and waited for Carlisle to arrive.

Carlisle POV

When Jasper called and said that Bella was hurt I left work immediately. I drove home faster than usual.

I arrived home and was already hit by the scent of blood. I rushed upstairs and found Jasper talking to Bella.

"Hey you two"

"Hey Dad" Bella whispered hoarsely.

"We can't leave you alone for a second, sweets?"

"I'm sorry" she whispered. I exanimate the wound and it looked quite good. I gave her some painkillers and went outside and talked with Jasper.

"You used venom to close the wound."

"I didn't use much Carlisle. I swear… I just…."

"You did a good job. It was a right thing to do. She wouldn't be this calm if you used too much. I'm proud of you." I laid my hand on his shoulder and he looked up at me.

"Really?"

"Yes. You did the right thing Jasper and it didn't harm her. But have you found out what happened?"

"She said she was suddenly feeling bad and when she wanted to came out she fell."

"Did she eat?"

"I well I don't know."

"We better get her something to eat than."

"Do you think she didn't eat on purpose?"

"What I know is that Esme overheard a conversation she was having with Alice this afternoon. She said she didn't feel beautiful anymore. I don't know more. But maybe she just can't handle the change Jasper. She had an athletic body before and now her body gets used to no training."

"I know we talked about it this afternoon but I didn't think it was this bad. I better go and talk to her."

I went downstairs to make Bella something to eat.

Jasper POV

When I opened the door to our bedroom I had to fight for control. I wanted to scream at her, slap her, do whatever it took to understand her. She was reading a book when I came in and looked up.

"We need to talk." I said it a little harsher than I meant to.

"Ok. Is something wrong?" she looked scared.

"Yes" again too harsh. Jasper thinks about control.

"Bella did you eat something today? I mean not just the breakfast and the ice-cream?"

"I …. No."

"Why not? Why didn't you say something when we got home. You know I forget to feed you sometimes, yes I know. Don't give me that look. You're not a pet. But Bella I have to make sure you eat and sometimes I forget. I have to be sure that in this case you make yourself clear to me and tell me. So why didn't you say something?" I sighed.

"I didn't want to eat. It's only gonna make me fat."

"No it won't. Bella please understand. I love you. I love the way your body looks and you are not fat. Your body is changing. That's true. But it only makes you more attractive. If you could only feel I feel. If you could only understand how hard it is for me to lay next to you ever night and not be able to touch you. You don't know how it felt when I touched you earlier this day. Your warm skin under my finger, the way you moaned my name. But Bella I will never get to love you properly if you risk your life like this. Just imagine what could've happened if I weren't here! You could be dead. Lying on the bathroom floor bleeding. I would… I couldn't live with myself. I don't ever want to lose you!" I shook her trying to make her understand just how much she meant to me. I looked into her eyes and she had tears in them.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want to lose you Jasper. What if you will find something better than me?"

I cut her off with a kiss. This was ridiculous. Something better couldn't happen. And if I couldn't have her I didn't want anything else.

I kissed her roughly this time letting my hands roam her body.

"No one else but you can make me feel this way Bella. No one." I laid her back on the bed and hovered above her. I slowly kissed down her neck and sucked on her skin. The marks on her shoulders were still there and I kissed them lovingly.

I shoved her shirt upwards. Desperately wanting to get rid of it. She didn't wear anything underneath it and as soon as the shirt left her she tried to cover herself up. But I wouldn't have that. I took her wrists and held her arms above her. "You don't have to be ashamed Bella. Look at you. You're so beautiful. See the way your body reacts to me. Your body is calling for me. Begging to be touched." I slipped one hand down to her breast and started playing with her nipple. She moaned my name and in moved my hand to the other breast. I let my mouth wander over the sweet skin of her stomach until I reached her pants. I liked along her skin. From hip to hip. I could already smell her arousal and couldn't wait any longer. I had to taste her.

I slipped down her pants and nestled my head between her legs. I slowly ran a finger between her folds. To my surprise Bella didn't move an inch and for a second I thought she passed out. But she was watching me! She was curious to see what would come next. I looked into her eyes and slowly liked up her folds. A sweet moan escaped her lips but she held my gaze. I repeated my action and soon started nipping on her clit. She ran her hands into my hair and when she started massaging my scalp I purred.

This was too much for her and she came. I licked her clean and lay next to her lazily running circles on her stomach. She was spent. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Never doubt my want for you Bella. Never again. I love you. You and your body. One day I will make love to you and I will show you how beautiful you truly are."

She was too spent to say anything. She just snuggled closer to me and soon fell asleep.

I could still taste her on my lips and I could just hope she would let me repeat that again soon.