I am sorry this took so long to update. The bunnies just took off on me. And I looked, really, I did! I just couldn't get this right. I hope it works?

Ok, I hated the ending last time. I thought her not wanting the responsibility was lame. So she took the responsibility of breaking them up instead? Huh? BUT we did get a smoking hot kiss. That man looked like he was having too much fun. Lucky girl!

DISCLAIMER: If I owned them, we would see so many more of those kisses!

MISERY - Chapter 5

Lisbon was exhausted. After they got back, she hid in her office to finish up the paperwork. Watching the toll this case took on Van Pelt and Rigsby had taken all her strength to remain professional. The slight hum of activity from the bullpen as she worked was a balm to her. It was the lack of that sound that alerted her. Too quiet was never good. She looked out of her office. Van Pelt, Rigsby, Jane and Cho were all gone. This was going to be bad.

Walking through the office looking for them, she observed their desks had been left in the middle of tasks. This was getting worse. Cho never just walked away from work. Actually, neither did Van Pelt. As she headed around the corner, she could hear raised voices from Hightower's office. Shockingly, one of those voices belonged to Cho.

Cho had watched Van Pelt, Rigsby and then Jane get up and leave quickly. All this drama was the reason he hated romance or too much personal information in the work place. But he also hated his unit being torn apart for no real reason. Yeah, they weren't supposed to date, but since it didn't impact how well they worked, he really didn't understand the problem. He did understand that Hightower was using them to flex her control. She was assigned the job of shining up the CBI's tarnished reputation. He understood that too. And he would have kept all this to himself had Hightower not poked the sleeping tiger.

It all seemed normal enough. His extension rang and he was requested to come into the Chief's office. She made it sound like a request, but he knew a summons when he heard one. He debated for a brief moment making her wait until he was finished, but just decided to get this over with. The work would be his excuse to get out of the office. Always have an exit strategy. He learned that in the military and used it as an agent.

"Agent Cho. I wanted to get your feedback on this case. I have noticed you have a very keen eye. It aids your interrogation technique which is very impressive as well."

"Ma'am?"

"What part of that didn't you understand? This was a joint effort between several units. As a senior agent who should be on track to be a unit leader, I think we should review what went right and wrong. Part of my job is to develop future unit leaders."

"Everyone did their job, we apprehended a suspect. All the agents came back in"

"Interesting choice of words. You didn't say that no one got hurt. You think your friends got hurt on this. I picked them for a reason. Yes, there were other agents who might have been able to pull this off. But I needed them to learn they were agents first. And my experiment worked."

"Experiment?" The one word slipped out in shock. She had experimented with Rigsby and Van Pelt?

"Yes, they proved themselves to be professionals."

He could feel the rage boiling. He understood rules were rules, but to play with them. Forcing his face to remain calm he tried to employ his exit strategy. "If there is nothing else, I have paperwork to finish for this case."

"Agent Cho, if you plan to be a unit leader, you will need to learn to make those hard calls. It's why I shared this with you. Forcing their hand was the only way to be sure they were being professional. And it worked, very well."

"Very well? Very well? They were working as complete professionals before you forced them to separate. When Van Pelt was shot, Rigsby did exactly what he would have done for any agent. He checked his partner and when she told him she was good, he went for the perp. While they were seeing each other, this unit continued to close cases at a very high rate."

He was unaware his voice was getting louder. Lisbon could hear it from down the hall.

"I may never be a unit leader or chief like you. I can live with that. This job was never about my ambition. For you it is about ambition. Good for you."

"Agent Cho! You overstep!"

"Overstep? Or what? You will bring me up on charges? You will bring up Van Pelt and Rigsby? You can't hurt them more than you have. You have been sucking the life out of them. Yeah, I know, only Jane has a golden ticket in this unit. The rest of us are expendable. But you might want to look at how many units and how many agents Jane burned through before he settled with our unit."

"CHO!"

Lisbon's voice cut through the rest of his comments. He stopped, gathered himself and his face settled back down to its normal calm manner. He drew himself up into attention and awaited his fate. He had stepped over a line big time and he knew it.

Lisbon frantically tried some damage control. Her team was hurting. She didn't need to lose her right hand. First she had to get him out of here.

"Cho, I noticed there were reports that needed to be finished on your desk. Why don't you get back to them now?"

Cho started for door, but was backed into the office by the arrival of Jane.

"Agent Cho makes a very good point. I lost track of how many units I went through. And even when I did settle here finally, there were quite a few agents who just weren't, well let's say comfortable with my investigative style. Agent Van Pelt has really held her own, I would say, wouldn't you, Agent Lisbon?"

One look at Hightower's face and Lisbon knew any shot she had of salvaging this mess was over. Hightower would not take this well. She was going to exact vengeance and Lisbon was pretty sure how that would happen.

"Finish what you wanted to say Cho. I think it's only right that Agent Hightower know that you know it all."

"Jane!" Hissing his name in an exasperated tone under her breath had become second nature to Lisbon. He very rarely listened, but she still had to try. It was like reminding a small child of manners. You could only hope eventually he would get it. He didn't this time either.

"All of what? What is it you think you know, Agent Cho?"

Cho shot a furious look at Jane. It was an ace up the sleeve, the big gun he didn't want to pull out. He again tried to head for the door, using his silence as a shield. Yet again, he was pushed in by an arrival. This time it was grim faced Rigsby and a plainly shaken Van Pelt. Screw it. He wasn't wussing out.

"Go ahead, Cho. She knows what's coming. She doesn't think anyone here knows or would care. She had forgotten how small a community law enforcement really is. Or have you?"

A puzzled look was the common expression shared by everyone but Jane and Cho. Even Hightower looked curious.

"Fast Eddie Conroy"

The puzzled look remained on everyone's face but Hightower. She let out the smallest of sounds, almost a gasp and sat down hard. That name. That damned name. She was sure that ghost was dead and buried. How the hell did they find out?

"I wasn't going to say anything. I figured we all had things or people in our past that needed to stay there. I respected that. I understand it was why you were so insistent on breaking them up. Breaking them up sucked, but playing with their heads to prove your control? That stepped over a line"

"Who is Fast Eddie Conroy?" Typically, it was Rigsby, who asked the question.

"Should I tell them or do you want to?"

"I will. But this does not leave this office. We are all understood?'

Even though some of them were still in the dark, they agreed. Lisbon was beginning to guess what the name meant to Hightower.

Hightower's voice was soft as she began her story. Truthfully, it never got loud, just slightly more sure. At first, she sounded distant from it, but as time went on, her connection to the tale became stronger.

"I was a rookie cop in Los Angeles. I was pretty young to be a cop. I was going to make real difference in my community. I was going to be a role model to other black women. We didn't need to be men's playthings. We could be strong and still feminine. I was pretty sure, as the arrogance of youth allowed, that I could handle this all… Sergeant Edward J. Conroy was 10 years my senior. Tall, strong, and smart. He was ambitious and a straight arrow. He got the nickname when he was a rookie. He used to be able to run anyone down, sort of the way you do, Rigsby. You remind me a little of him, except you are white. He should have been a cocky son of a bitch, but he wasn't. He was shy and sweet. The first year I was on the job, he used to stare at me. I wasn't going to fall into that trap. I was assigned to drive him occasionally. I both dreaded and lived for those days. I knew how he felt. I knew how he made me feel. It scared the crap out of me. Sound familiar?"

Wayne and Grace exchanged glances. Grace was beginning to get a sick feeling in her stomach. Hightower's story could have been her own. She instinctively knew she didn't want to hear the rest of the. She would have sat down if she could. Instead, she widened her stance, sure she would need to brace herself somehow.

"Finally, all those stake-outs and long nights together were too much for me. He worked up the nerve to tell me how he felt. I was ecstatic and terrified. We couldn't date. We were both cops in the same precinct and he was a boss. Somehow, that didn't seem to matter."

Grace was forcing herself to remain calm during this, but couldn't resist sliding a glance at Wayne. She could see the light of understanding in his eyes. This wasn't just one of those vague cautionary tales that gets repeated to cops dating. This was real. It was her life, spread out before them. And worse, it could have been their lives.

"Yeah, the hiding and sneaking at first is kind of fun, but it gets old really fast, doesn't it?"

Neither answered out loud, but their hearts nodded in agreement. By nature, they were both too open to enjoy the clandestine nature of their relationship and it had taken a toll.

"We were found out when a drug dealer we were supposed to be watching got the drop on us. We were fighting about who should transfer so we could continue dating. Luckily, another unit was coming by to relieve us and we didn't get hurt. We did get outed. Oh, everyone knew we were dating anyway. Like you said, law enforcement is a small community, and they gossip. But now it was out in the open. The snide comments were said ourt loud. He resented me for making him look foolish, and because he would always have that mark on his record, unofficially. It broke us up. We both transferred out. I went to CBI and he moved on too."

The team all exchanged glances under lowered lids. She was right. They had gotten lucky. The knowledge of what could have been would weigh on any of them. They all lived with that survivor's guilt every day.

"I don't hate romance or young love. I understand it better than you know. But you two have to make a choice and you both chose your career. Frankly, I felt I was doing you a favor. You now know what is really important to you. And tonight's op showed you that."

She stood up very tall and looked each member of the unit in the eye. This next thing needed to be impressed upon them completely. Otherwise, her career would be dead.

"This discussion is over. It is never to be repeated, analyzed or passed on. It is not an item for the lunch table. My life is not to be displayed. I expect you to respect this. Are we understood?"

The four agents straightened as well. They knew she had given them all ammo and she expected them not to use it. She was trusting them and they were not to betray that trust.

Jane alone didn't move.

"No one plans to gossip. But I think you assume too much. Your experience has soured you. It hurt your marriage ultimately. Did your ex-husband know you were still in love with Eddie? And Rigsby and Van Pelt have something to say."

Just a little cliffhanger. Hopefully lots of review will make happy smutty bunnies re-appear!