That night had been the best night of her life and it had lead to many more just like it. They could have easily told the rest of the clan that they were together but that would mean that the elders had been right about the two and would also mean that they wouldn't be allowed to patrol together anymore. Either way for the moment it was better to keep things a secret.

During patrols they would sneak off once or twice and have quiet loving moments. At night they always found a way to be together. Whether by some body of water a short distance from camp or in each other's aravels. She always enjoyed being in his arms and started cursing the dawn for forcing them apart.

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Creators she missed Tamlen. Since Duncan had told her that she would never find him again she had felt an emptiness in her heart. The Guardian had picked at her open wound asking if she had felt guilty about his course did! Alistair had said that she was being too hard on herself. She thanked for the sentiment but he didn't know what had happened that day and all the ways she could have saved him.

Leliana had gave her arm a gentle squeeze, but the strangest reaction had been Zevran's. He had just looked at her with eyes that seemed to understand her pain. She had never been sure about the assassin's reaction. What would he know about losing a loved one? She had thought bitterly. He was an assassin for crying out loud! He KILLED people for a living!

She felt a tear run down her cheek. There had been an apparition of Tamlen in the old ruins that had told her that it hadn't been her fault. That it or he wanted her to move on and be happy. That he would always love her.

She started crying now. She put her book and pencil in her pack and pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms. Her fault or not, she had never really gotten a chance to mourn him or even admit that her heart was broken. The hole in her chest felt like it was getting bigger. She put one hand over it trying to cover it, trying to make it go away.

Max whined behind her. He nuzzled his head into her side. She put a hand on his head and started scratching behind his ear.

"Don't worry boy. I'll be ok." she said wiping her tears off her cheeks. He looked at her with his big brown eyes. He seemed to doubt her. He seemed to sense how deep her sadness really ran. He whined again.

She patted his head and stood up. She felt the sudden urge to be in the lake. To feel the cooling waters around her. She removed her gloves and her boots and started walking into the black waters. She waded in until the water was up to her knees. It felt better then she thought it would. The cool waters hugged her like an old friend. She took a few more steps until the bottom of her drakeskin armor was grazing the surface.

She looked into the waters and saw her own reflection and that of the moon. Beautiful. Thats what he had called her. She didn't feel beautiful anymore. She felt empty and ugly. She put her hand in the water to cause ripples so her image wouldn't be clear anymore. She put her hands together and scooped up some water and rubbed her face with it.

Behind her she heard Max bark with excitement. She turned around and saw a figure leaning up against the old oak tree. Even with just the light of the moon she could tell it was Zev. Great. Just what I need. She thought and started her way back to the shore.

"Hello Wardern." he said in his Antivian accent.

"What do you want Zev?" she said trying to hide her annoyance the interruption of her solitude.

"I noticed you were missing from camp so naturally I came looking for you." he said with a grin. She sighed.

"Anyone else notice I was gone?" she said putting her gloves back on.

"Not when I left. Morrigan is still threating Alistair with turning him into something she can squish, and everyone else is taking sides. It's quit entertaining." he said with a chuckle.

"But now back to you my dear Warden. What is such a lovely woman doing out here by herself?" He said taking a step towards her.

"I just needed to get away and relax for a while Zev." she said sitting down and putting her boots back on.

"And draw right?"

"Sure I guess." She paused "Wait. What?" she said looking up at him. He held out her drawing book. She snatched it back from him.

"I didn't know that assassins doubled as thieves." she said holding the book against her chest. He chuckled.

"I would not have known it was there if you had put it all the way in your bag." he smiled holding up his hands.

"Did you look through it?" she said running her had over the cover.

"Not if you didn't want me too."he remarked. She sighed.

"I did. At first I didn't know it was your drawing book. Your very good." he said squatting beside her.

"There are quit a few drawings of one man though. I might say I'm jealous. Is he that man the Guardian spoke of?" he said looking at her like he was truly interested.

"Tamlen. Yes they are of him." she said keeping her eyes on the book. She had drawn him from her memory many times these past two months. The hole in her chest crept back up and threatened to make her start crying again.

"You were found of him?" Zev said in an almost whisper.

"I loved him Zev." she looking away from him. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes and she would be damned if she let him see her cry.

"I see." he said looking out at the lake.

"Why do you care anyway? I thought that Crow's were told not to fall in love." she said placing her book back into her bag.

"That is true we had that beat into our heads. That does not mean that we didn't." he said standing back up. What was he talking about? She couldn't picture Zev as a romantic, or even having true feelings for a woman. She looked up at him again and his expression looked pained. Could he understand? Was that possible?

She threw her pack over her shoulder and stood up next to him. She looked into his brown eyes and could have swore that she saw the same love and tenderness that she had always seen in Tamlen's. Her heart skipped a beat. She shook her head. She had to be hallucinating. There was no way he loved her. Though why had her heart jumped like that? Did she care for him or was it the memory of Tamlen that she reacted to? She turned away from him and started walking back towards camp.

"Her name was Rinna." He said still standing there looking at the lake. She stopped.

"Was?" she questioned turning back towards him. He shook his head. Whatever happened to Rinna, he hated the memory. That much was clear.

"Did you kill her?" she said gently.

"No my friend, Taliesen, did and I did not stop him. She died declaring her love for me." He dropped his head and looked at the sand. She didn't know what to say. The look on his face let her know that this wasn't just some bit to get her into bed. Whatever had happened he hated himself for it.

"I don't know what to say Zevran. I'm sorry just doesn't seem right." She was standing next to him now.

"I did not want to tell you to get you pity my Warden." he said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh. Then why did you?" she questioned. If it was just a ploy she was gonna break his jaw. He just smiled at her.

"Because I trust you." he said as he turned to walk away. She stood there looking at the moon and sighed. She hadn't expected Zev to tell her anything like that. She felt like a horrible person now for thinking that he was shallow and not truly capable of love. She turned at looked at Max who was sitting next to the oak tree waiting for her patiently.

"Lets get back to camp boy before they all come looking for us." he looked at her and barked excitedly. She smiled and started back towards camp.