By the time they pulled into Jean and Toby's driveway Dean was wishing he was the one behind the wheel; it would at least have given him something to do. As it was he fiddled nervously with the radio, only giving up when Sam slapped his hand away with an irritated huff.

"Leave it alone, would you? There's not much point trying to tune it when we're already here."

Dean glared at him but left the dial alone, instead switching his gaze to stare out the window as the house came into view. It looked exactly the same as it always had and for a second he got a flash of their last visit in his head, building snowmen and having an epic snowball fight with Sam and the others. A fresh wave of apprehension swept through him and he swallowed several times as his mouth went dry.

Coming to a stop in front of the porch steps Sam switched off the engine and rubbed sweaty palms against his jeans. Glancing at Dean he saw his brother was just as unsure about this as he was, a fact which did at least make him feel less alone.

Neither of them made a move to get out of the car and Dean was almost about to suggest they turn round and get out of there when Jean came around the side of the house, carrying a set of garden shears in her hands. She caught sight of the Impala out of the corner of her eye and froze, staring at them as her face literally drained of colour.

Very slowly Dean found himself opening the door without even thinking about it, getting out equally as hesitantly. Closing it he made no other move, wondering briefly if his own face was as pale as Jean's was.

On the other side of the car Sam had also got out and took a small step forward, stopping as his lips twitched in a half smile that telegraphed his uncertainty.

Jean meanwhile looked from Dean to Sam, then back to Dean again. Dropping the shears carelessly on the ground she walked over, her gaze never wavering. When she got closer Dean fought the fight or flight urge running through his veins and hoped she couldn't see how much his knees were shaking.

He'd faced the opening of hell with fewer nerves than he was feeling right now.

Having stopped, Jean's expression as she stared up at him was unreadable. It felt like time had slowed to a standstill and eventually he opened his mouth to say something, anything, only to slam it shut again when his head was snapped sideways. His cheek stinging he turned back to look at Jean, his eyes watering a little from the impact. He heard Sam's sharp intake of breath but before his brother could defend him he watched as Jean's eyes filled with tears and she pulled him to her, hugging him so hard he was sure his internal organs were being squashed.

His head spinning somewhat, partly from the blow and partly from the speed at which Jean's mood had shifted, he hesitated a couple of seconds before putting his own arms round her and returning the hug. He could feel her trembling and also became aware of a growing wet patch on his chest. Looking over the roof of the car he shot Sam a desperate look but he just shrugged helplessly.

Not wanting to upset her even more, or possibly get hit again, he stood very still and waited.

After what seemed like an eternity Jean pulled back, taking an ever present handkerchief from her pocket and wiping her face delicately. When she looked up again her eyes were red rimmed but Dean could see a whole mix of emotions in them, from relief, to joy, to anger. She shook her head slightly.

"I don't know whether to hug you some more or try again to knock some sense into you."

He leaned back and gave a nervous smile. "I'm voting for the first one, if that counts at all."

She actually chuckled at that, and before he knew it he was being hugged a second time, this time more gently.

"It is so good to see you, Dean." she said softly, her voice muffled by his shirt.

He had no time to wonder too much if she'd feel the same once she knew what they'd done as she pulled away once more, switching her attention to Sam.

"Well are you planning on keeping this car between us the whole time, Sam?"

He blushed and quickly came around, half expecting the same reaction. As it was Jean simply hugged him tightly and Dean looked aggrieved as he rubbed at his rapidly reddening cheek.

"How is it I'm always the one to get slapped?" he grumbled, thinking of Ellen's reaction when they'd first encountered her again.

Jean couldn't help laughing a little as she released Sam, who merely smirked at Dean and easily dodged the swat aimed at him in return. Seeing the mark she'd left she looked guilty, raising her hand to rest against Dean's cheek more gently this time. He almost flinched but relaxed when she just left it there, feeling a little awkward.

"I'm sorry about that. It was just such a shock seeing you boys here at last and we've been so scared about what might have happened to you,"

He cut her off. "Hey, don't worry about it. We probably deserved it, being out of touch so long."

He emphasised the 'we' part of the statement, shooting Sam a dirty look as he said it. Sam had to admit he did feel a bit bad that Dean had been the one to get hit, since in fairness it was both of them who'd dropped off the radar.

Still, he was also just a tiny bit relieved as well. For a small woman, Jean had one hell of a right hook.

Dropping her hand Jean turned towards the house, motioning them to follow her.

"Come on then. I have hot coffee and fresh apple cake and I just know what you boys have to tell us is best listened to in comfort. Toby's going to be so glad to see you."

As they followed Dean elbowed Sam, none too gently. "Just so you know? You're going first. I already took the fall on this one, he gets handy with the slapping it's your turn."

Sam rolled his eyes but dutifully went ahead, knowing it was only fair. They caught up with Jean as she went through the kitchen door and his first glimpse of Toby was of him sitting at the scrubbed wooden table, tools spread out in front of him on an old oil stained cloth.

"You done with the pruning already?" he said, not looking up. When Jean didn't answer he did finally raise his head and his eyes widened when he saw the Winchesters standing cautiously in the doorway behind her.

"Well I'll be damned."

Pushing his chair back he dropped the tool he'd been cleaning onto the table and closed the distance between them in two strides. Sam eyed him a little warily but he needn't have worried. Toby put his hands on Sam's shoulders, shaking his head as he looked him over then hugging him briefly, patting his back hard several times before he pulled away. He did the same to Dean, giving them a warm smile as he stepped back to stand next to Jean and put his arm around her shoulders.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you two. We'd almost given up hope."

Sam gave him an apologetic look. "We're really sorry. We should have been in touch before now, it's just,"

He tailed off and Jean obviously sensed that there was a lot to be said and none of it good, judging by the haunted look in their eyes. Rubbing her hands together briskly she took charge.

"Right, you two sit down and I'll bring everything over. And I expect to see those tools gone from my table before I come back." she said, moving towards the bubbling coffee pot without even glancing over her shoulder.

Toby winked at them as he dutifully began to clear away his things and Dean couldn't help but grin at the familiarity of it all.

Since they weren't allowed to help with anything they both sat down, watching while Jean bustled about efficiently gathering everything together and Toby disappeared outside to dispose of the half cleaned tools. Sam was practically vibrating with nervous energy, the calm comfort he usually felt whenever they visited eluding him on this occasion. Dean glanced sideways at him, raising an eyebrow, and Sam acknowledged the unspoken instruction to calm down with a rueful quirk of his lips. Taking a few deep breaths he crossed his ankles and tucked his legs under the chair in an attempt to stop his right knee bouncing up and down. Leaning forward with his arms on the table he watched out of the corner of his eye as Dean slouched back in his own chair, looking like he didn't have a care in the world with one arm slung casually over the back. Only someone who knew him really well – a very short list that Sam came top of – would have spotted the telltale signs of tension around his eyes and the way he kept clenching his jaw.

By the time everything was ready, Jean carrying over a massive tray on which sat a fresh pot of coffee, four mugs, four plates and a tantalising looking apple cake, Sam was wishing he hadn't woken Dean to suggest stopping by. Abruptly he remembered the look on Bobby's face and the disgust in his voice when he'd told Sam to lose his number after learning what he'd done. Granted, the former mechanic had hardly been himself at that moment, but despite what the real Bobby had said to him in the hospital he still couldn't silence that nagging voice that said deep down it might not have been completely untrue. Now here he was again, about to admit his part in starting the Apocalypse to people whose opinion genuinely mattered to him.

It wasn't getting easier with repetition.

He was so lost in thought that he jumped slightly when a mug appeared in front of him, jerking his arms back. Jean frowned at his reaction, concerned, and he felt his face heat up. Deliberately avoiding looking at Dean, who he knew would be looking at him with the same expression, he gave her a sheepish smile as she poured coffee for him. Luckily Toby chose that precise moment to return from the shed and to Sam's relief nothing was said while Jean filled the rest of the mugs and cut generous slices of cake for everyone.

"So," Toby said as he sat down, making himself comfortable. "I'm guessing since Dean is sitting here large as life you boys found a way out of that deal that you were so worried about last time we saw you."

Dean flinched, almost imperceptibly, clearing his throat before he answered. "Not… exactly."

Toby raised his eyebrows while Jean watched them anxiously. "What do you mean, not exactly?"

"There wasn't a way out of it. We tried everything we could think of it but when the deal came due, I died."

Jean gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth even as Toby slid his arm around her, his now solemn gaze never leaving Dean's. "Then how is it you're here?"

Dean gave a forced chuckle. "This is going to sound crazy but would you believe me if I said I was brought back from hell by an angel?"

The couple exchanged glances before Toby let out a long breath, shaking his head. "I think you're going to need to start at the beginning."