It had been a few weeks since she had been in this cell with me. She didn't talk much after that first night, only saying what was needed. She avoided looking at me, preferring to stare blankly at the walls or floor. I was desperate to know what was going on out there, to know how much had happened while I was here. But I didn't want to push her. But things were getting worse the longer she was in here, she was growing darker. Or maybe I was just growing happier with someone here and she was just seeming more depressed everyday.
But no matter what the reason was, I needed to help her. I decided today was the day to pull her out of her depression. I shuffled over to her, my entire body protesting at the movements. I ignored my body, gritting my teeth against the pain and sat down beside her.
I waited for a few moments, regaining my breath and getting my body under control. I rolled my head to the side to look at her face. It was blank, not a single emotion or thought crossing across. How could this be the girl I had taught for seven years? The girl I knew never stopped thinking and although she could hide her emotions, you always knew she was feeling something. But now, this girl-no woman-sat here, nothing being shown. Her hair wasn't even bushy anymore. Her hair fell down in gross, greasy strands, barely having a curl. Her eyes were dead, darker in color, not showing the intelligence she used to hold.
I flinched slightly, wishing she would suddenly be the girl I knew. But wait, I never really knew her, did I? for all I knew, she really could have always been this dark. I shook my head of those thoughts. Even if she was always this broken, I was going to fix her. Even if it was the last thing I did.
"Miss Granger, look at me." She did nothing for a moment, simply sat their, ignoring me. I was opening my mouth to reissue my demand, but stopped as her head slowly turned to look up at me. I looked down into her eyes, those dark, empty eyes. I mentally flinched.
"Miss Granger, would it help you if I said I know exactly what you're going through? Would it help if I said I won't judge you? Because I would never judge what you do. Would it help if I said you could use my shoulder to cry on?" I felt so out of character, this is so odd, so bizarre. I mentally shook my head at the thoughts and focused on the woman looking up at me. She stayed quiet for some time before answering.
"Professor, would it help you if I said I know exactly what you're going through? Would it help you if I said I won't judge you? Would it help you if I said you could use my shoulder to cry on?" I only waited a moment, for I already knew the answer.
"Yes." She wasted no time in pulling herself to me with shaky arms. I reached out to help her, only realizing that I would be no help and pulled my arms back to me. She sat beside me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I settled my arms around her shoulders and buried my nose into her hair. She snuggled into my side and not a moment later her body was shaking with repressed sobs. I'm not positive how long we stayed like this, her crying into my side and me silently allowing tears to escape my eyes.
The following weeks were much easier. She didn't look so dead anymore. I tried everything I had to make her happier. While I knew it was working, it wasn't working as well as I hoped it would. I gave her some of my food, trying to put some weight on her. But she would notice and stop eating altogether until I ate my food. She was a stubborn little thing.
I could do so much more for her if we were out of Azkaban, but that was impossible at the moment. Apparently, the war wasn't over just yet. It was much closer to being finished, but not close enough. I wasn't sure how much longer she would survive, I needed to get her out of here.
Many weeks passed by. She didn't stare at the walls all the time. Sometimes she would talk to me in a quiet, hushed voice. I would eagerly answer her, wanting to drag her out of her shell. It was on one night like those that something happened.
The guards were running down the halls shouting so loud it hurt to listen to them. A few would pause to stare in at us. I was anxious of their reasons for doing so. I held her close to me, not allowing her to be seen. Finally, as the yelling seemed to only increase, a few guards stopped by our cell. The hesitated only a moment before opening the cell and walking towards us.
I held her closer to my body, not wanting her to be harmed more than she already was. The three guards looked down at us with guilty expressions that only made me more anxious. The one in the front began to talk, his gravely voice echoing in the dirty air around us.
"Sir, we apologize for all that we have done to you. Really, if we had known that you were a good guy, we wouldn't have done it. Seriously! We really are sorry." I stiffened and pulled Miss Granger even closer to myself, confused beyond belief. Did this mean the war was over? Merlin I hoped so. I watched as the guard that had spoken crouched down in front of me.
"Sir, we'll take her for you. We have to take both of you to Mister Dumbledore. That man truly is-" I cut off his rambling.
"You will not touch her, vermin. And that man, Dumbledore, is a monster. Now, tell me where said monster is." I growled out at him. I was furious. That man had the gall to want to speak to me? He knew I was going to try to rip his throat out on sight. He knew he had betrayed me for the last time. I held Miss Granger tighter to me as I stood us both up, leaning against the wall as I did so.
"Sir, I don't think-" He cut himself off as he saw the glare on my face. "I mean, of course. We have to take you to a floo place, Mister Dumbledore is at Hogwarts, sir." I growled at his attempt to get on my good side. I followed him as he walked out of the cell and down the hall, holding Miss Granger tightly to myself. She stumbled along, not used to walking.
I walked as quickly as I could over to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder, dragging her along. I threw it in and walked in with her, ignoring the guards trying to get me to wait. I yelled out Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts. A moment later I stumbled out of the fireplace into the room, falling to my knees. I dragged Miss Granger down with me.
The room looked exactly as it had before Dumbledore had "died". His eyes were twinkling, looking down at us happily, as if he hadn't destroyed our lives. I was satisfied as my glare of pure hatred and loathing doused the infernal twinkle. I pulled myself and Miss Granger onto our feet and walked to a chair. I sat down heavily and pulled her to sit down on top of me. She was to exhausted to fight me and merely sat limply in my lap. I regarded her sadly before focusing my cold gaze onto the man sitting across from me.
"Severus, my boy, it is so good to see you! I am so sorry you had to go to that awful place." My nostrils flared as my breathing grew harder. How dare this filthy piece of trash lie to me! He continued talking as if he didn't see my anger. "Now, I have a few requests to make of you."
I didn't move as he spoke. He seemed to hold some sort of control over me. I hated this man! I had no want to listen to him, much less do him some favors. So why couldn't I tell him to fuck off and go burn in a hole? I knew that whatever he had to say wouldn't be good, but I couldn't help myself as I listened to him.
"Firstly, I want you to take up the Potions position again. I think we should also take Miss Granger back to Azkaban. With her betrayal still weighing heavily on Mister Potter's shoulders, he will be more inclined to round up the rest of the Death Eaters. I also want you to start brewing up some potions for the hospital wing, we are running low. I need you to find Lucius Malfoy and bring him into custody, I believe he is to strong for dear Mister Potter."
He continued rambling, most of which I didn't catch. I had stopped listening as soon as he said he wanted to put Miss Granger back into Azkaban to encourage Potter. My grip had unconsciously tightened around the before mentioned woman, my grip was vice like and I doubted anyone would have been able to break my grasp. The man was insane. A raving lunatic. I wanted him dead. How dare he even think about putting this broken girl back into that place? She would die! And I vowed to myself that I would protect her for the rest of my life, I would never allow harm to come to her. I looked up and interrupted the mans speech, a flash of anger flashing quickly across those blue eyes.
"Dumbledore, you're a vile piece of trash that I wish to squish beneath my feet. The only reason you are still alive, old man, is because of this broken little girl you destroyed. I will accept the Potions Professor position and I will restock the potions in the Hospital Wing. But that is all I will do for you. I refuse to do your bidding any longer." I stood up, holding her. I was proud of myself for being able to stand up straight without falling or becoming dizzy. I looked back at the man-no, monster. "I will take my leave now. She will stay with me." I turned quickly, once more proud of myself, and stalked from the room.
I immediately leaned against the wall and allowed my breath to come out in harsh puffs once we left the office. Miss Granger looked up at me with curious eyes. I was to tired from the recent moment of rebelion to be happy of this vast improvement of showing emotion.
I began walking again, the sweet young girl resting quietly in my arms, and headed to the dungeons and my room. The portrait quickly allowed me entrance and I walked slowly to my room. I was silently thanking the house elves for cleaning up my rooms and keeping it dust free-that would be bad for Miss Granger's health. I laid her in my bed and kneeled next to her on the floor.
"Miss Grang-"
"Hermione. Please, call me Hermione Professor." I smiled slightly, though her closed eyes didn't catch it. She was becoming closer, that was a good sign. I restarted.
"Hermione, I'm going to clean you up and feed you in a moment, but first, I have something to make clean between us." She looked up at me curiously and this time I smiled my approval of her emotion. She was quickly opening up the longer we were away from Azkaban and any person. I quickly shook my head of the thoughts and began speaking again.
"Although I have never wished it, you and I have experienced some of the same things. You are damaged and hurt, as am I. You are wary of the world, as I have been for most of my life. You and I are alone in our pain. And now that I know you are the same as myself, I refuse to let you go. You are from now on mine. I will fix you, you will be happy, you will once again have trust in people. I am going to protect you for the rest of my life, I will never allow harm to come to you again.
I would ask if that is alright. I should ask if it is alright. But I'm not. You have no choice in the matter. I will take care of you. No one will ever sway me from my decision. You are mine. Mine to protect and fix. You. Are. Mine."
My gaze was intense as I stared her in the eye. She looked back at me, unblinkingly. I saw the understanding in her eyes. I waited, waited for what she would say. Although I would help and protect her no matter what, I would prefer her to be willing. Finally, she opened her mouth.
"Of course, Pr-Severus." My mouth twitched into a smile and my face softened. "As long as you know I shall do the same for you. I will protect you with my life and I will fix you. You are the only person in the world who could ever understand me, and I you."
I stood, my hand lingering by her cheek. I smiled down to her, knowing she accepted what I said and I accepted what she said. I walked over to my cabinents and searched for potions to start healing her with. I glanced over my shoulder to look at her. She was sleeping, the events of the day to much for her. Her hair was spread around her limply and her skin was grey. I turned back around to my search.
Yes, this is what I must do. I must fix her. I must protect her. She will never be harmed again. I will never see depression and self loathing in her eyes again. She was mine. I never had a lot of things in life. But what I did have, I protected fiercely. She was no exception.
A/N: Ok, I hope you guys like this. I know, it's still all angst. And don't worry, Dumbledore has yet to pay!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters.
