A/N Apologies for the delay on this chapter; I'm finding it harder to write this stuff than I used to...
Toby's statement hung in the air for a moment before Dean steeled himself, sitting up straighter as he prepared to try and explain everything that had happened after the pivotal moment when he'd died.
Preferably without sounding utterly insane, although chances were the ship had long since sailed on that one.
He glanced sideways at Sam, taking in the lowered gaze that was firmly focused on the table top and the way he kept swallowing as if something was stuck in his throat. It was obvious that he'd drawn the short straw and would be doing most of the talking but in some ways he didn't really mind.
It was easier than having to listen to the tone of voice his brother used whenever he spoke of that night, or what had come afterwards.
To Jean and Toby's credit they barely raised an eyebrow when they were hurriedly rushed through tales of Hell Hounds, angels and being marked as 'instruments of heaven'.
Sam missed completely the sympathetic looks the couple had been giving him as Dean explained why there'd been no phone calls to let them know what had happened, still seemingly intent on memorising every grain in the wooden table. Meanwhile, continuing before he lost his nerve altogether, Dean had rushed through the rest of it.
He could feel the tension grow the nearer he got to having to announce they'd started the Apocalypse by accident.
He was briefly distracted when Sam finally joined the party only to lay out in the bluntest terms his own actions regarding Ruby and the demon blood. Irritated, Dean stubbornly countered every guilt ridden comment by clearly pointing out that the fault hadn't been Sam's alone; there was enough blame to go around and he made sure Jean and Toby knew that in no uncertain terms, despite the death ray glare he was getting in return from his left side.
Issues of culpability aside though, when he reached the part about Lilith and the final seal he faltered and it was Sam who took over, before he could stop him. His voice soft and his eyes once more fixed anywhere but in the direction of the couple, he told them everything. When he finally finished speaking, Dean was pretty sure his ears popped there was such a vacuum of silence in the room.
It was broken by the sound of Toby's chair scraping on the floor as he pushed it back. They both braced themselves to be told to get out, and never come back, so much so that it took Dean a few seconds to realise what Toby had actually said when he finally spoke.
"Reckon we could all use something stronger than coffee right about now."
As they stared stupidly at him he disappeared through the kitchen door in search of whatever it was he had in mind, Dean shifted his gaze in Sam's direction as if seeking confirmation he hadn't heard wrong. The wide eyed stare he was getting in return was no help and instead he turned his attention to Jean, apprehensively.
She was wiping her face with a handkerchief that was rapidly becoming mangled, her eyes red rimmed as she regarded them with nothing but sympathy.
"You poor boys." she said quietly and Dean found himself at a complete loss for words.
He was saved from trying to think of a suitable response by Toby's return. Carrying a bottle of scotch and four glasses he put them down on the table and poured a generous measure in each, nudging the nearest two towards them as he went and added some water to Jean's. When he finally sat back down he looked up and realised he was being watched, warily, and that neither of them had made a move towards the whiskey.
He raised an eyebrow. "You got some place you need to be tonight?"
Dean hesitated, knowing Bobby was expecting them but also knowing that there was no real urgency to their visit. It was more habit lately, to go there between jobs or when they were close enough to get away with stopping by 'in passing'. He was pretty sure under the circumstances that the elder hunter would have no objections to them showing up a day late.
On the other hand, by downing the contents of the glass they were committing themselves to staying and in doing so, committing themselves to whatever difficult conversations were bound to be coming.
He looked at Sam questioningly.
Sam's gaze flicked between Dean and Toby, and back again, as he fought his own indecision. Whilst he was relieved – and amazed – that they were being given an unspoken invitation to stay after everything they'd just confessed, he couldn't help but feel as worried as his brother about what might happen if they accepted the offer.
In the end it was the slightly wobbly but encouraging smile that Jean was giving them that swayed it and he gave a small nod as he picked up his glass and swallowed half of it in one go, feeling his eyes water a little as the burn hit the back of his throat.
Not quite as sure as Sam apparently was, but nevertheless feeling like it was the right thing to do, Dean followed suit only in his case he emptied the entire glass without so much as flinching. Toby's other eyebrow joined the first but he said nothing, simply reaching across and refilling Dean's glass while topping up Sam's.
Dean leaned forward and rested his arms on the table, cradling the glass but in no rush to empty it this time. Forcing himself to meet Toby's gaze head on he allowed some of his uncertainty to show.
Toby's expression softened. "If you boys are waiting for us to condemn you or start playing the blame game I'm afraid you're out of luck. Reckon the two of you are busy enough blaming yourselves without needing us to go jumping in."
Sam blinked, almost comically. "But,"
When nothing more was forthcoming Dean shook his head and took over. "What Sam here is trying so eloquently to say is why the hell not?"
Sam shot him an exasperated look. "That's not exactly what I was trying to say."
Dean shrugged. "It pretty much covers things, doesn't it?"
Despite the seriousness of the situation Toby couldn't stop his lips quirking at the familiar bickering. The lighter mood didn't last long though and as Sam gave up trying to educate his brother on the subtleties of how to word a sentence they both turned their attention back to the couple.
Toby shook his head. "The way I see it, and I'm sure Jean'll back me up here, this whole thing has been on the cards right from the start. You two have been unlucky enough to get dragged smack bang in the middle of it and while I don't deny you might have made a few mistakes, the blame for what happened don't lie on your shoulders. If you ask me someone a lot higher up than that needs to hold themselves accountable."
Dean was literally open mouthed. "Are you serious? I hate to labour the point here but we started the Apocalypse. There's mistakes and there's mistakes."
"And I made some pretty big ones." Sam interjected, earning himself a not so discreet kick.
"We made some pretty big ones." Dean countered, ignoring the dirty look he was now getting as Sam rubbed his ankle.
Jean folded her arms, her expression almost defiant. "That may be but Toby's right. Someone's been using the two of you like pieces on a chess board and that's just not fair. I wouldn't mind a quiet word with these angels of yours about that."
At the idea of Jean going toe to toe with Zachariah, or Castiel, Dean snorted and even Sam relaxed long enough to grin.
Jean gave them an admonishing look. "I'm serious. There's a way things should be done and what's happened to you boys is not it. I'm so mad right now I reckon I could have words with the Almighty himself, letting this kind of thing go on and not lifting a finger to stop it."
Dean couldn't help it, there was no way not to laugh at the idea of Jean lecturing god on the decent thing to do. Unfortunately he was just in the middle of taking another sip of whiskey and the ensuing coughing fit was pretty impressive.
Although he wasn't sure it had required Sam hitting him on the back quite that hard.
When he'd recovered enough to breathe he saw Jean and Toby were still looking at them with nothing but sympathy and whilst there was also a hint of anger, clearly it was directed somewhere other than at them.
He found himself pretty much speechless for the second time.
It was Sam who managed to voice what they'd both been thinking in the end. "We appreciate the support, we really do, but we still had more than just a hand in setting all this in motion. We wouldn't blame you if you wanted us to leave right now and never come back." he said, softly.
Jean's eyes flashed. "Nonsense. I won't listen to talk like that, do you understand me, Sam Winchester? You two are a part of this family and we are not going to turn our backs on you now. Especially at a time like this. I've never heard anything so ridiculous."
Dean shook his head. "Sam's right, Jean. This is the end of the world we're talking about here. Most things can be forgiven but this,"
It was Toby's turn to cut him off. "But nothing. We understand what you're saying and we know what it means but it don't change anything. We got plenty of issues with what's gone on but none of them are aimed at you boys. Do you understand?"
They didn't, and Dean wasn't sure they ever would, but nonetheless after a brief hesitation they both nodded anyway. Clearly the couple had made their minds up and if detailing every screw up they'd made since the night Dean's deal had come due hadn't changed that he wasn't sure what would.
There was an awkward silence until Jean pushed her chair back and stood decisively, taking a few delicate sips of her whiskey and water. Putting the glass back down she began to gather the now cold mugs of coffee and the untouched plates of apple cake.
"This can wait until after dinner, I think. Why don't you three take a walk while I make a start getting things ready. I'm sure you could do with the fresh air."
Toby nodded. "Sounds like a mighty fine idea. I'll go get my jacket."
Still too stunned by the way things were going to protest, Dean and Sam exchanged a perplexed glance before getting to their feet. As they waited for Toby's return Sam felt like he ought to pinch himself and make sure this was real. Instead he finished off his whiskey and gathered his wits long enough to shoot Dean a disapproving look as his brother downed the rest of his second glass of the stuff in one go.
It hadn't escaped his attention just how much of a regular occurrence that was getting to be these days.
Dean noticed the look but ignored it with a roll of his eyes. As far as he was concerned Sam was lucky he wasn't sticking a straw in the entire bottle.
The tension and nerves that had kept him wound so tight since the moment Sam explained where they were had slowly begun to ease but he still couldn't help waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whilst the couple had taken it calmly in the past, when they'd explained exactly what it was they did for a living and later when they'd admitted the consequences of the deal he'd made, there was a big difference between that and what they'd just told them.
And yet there was no escaping the support and outrage on their behalf that was coming their way, incomprehensible as it was.
He was saved from tying himself in knots any further as Toby came into the room again. Walking towards the back door, zipping up his jacket as he went, he gestured with his head for them to follow him.
"Come on, I know just the right the spot."
At a loss they did what they were told, their smiles towards Jean as she cheerfully waved them off a whole lot less certain than hers was. Once through the door Dean closed it carefully behind them and rubbed his face wearily as he looked up at Sam. His brother shrugged, clearly having no better idea than he did what they were supposed to do now as they turned to follow Toby.
Lengthening their pace to keep up with his long strides they headed towards the woods.