Summer Solstice
"Do you know that clan?" Loranil asked surprised at Ennaly's cursing of hearing the word Nomaris.
Ennaly could feel her muscles tense up. This couldn't be happening, she thought she would never have to face him again. "Yes," she said defeated, forcing her body to relax. "I know the Keeper, and have little desire to ever face him again. We... do not have a great history."
"Keeper Anarel? Tall man, blonde hair, green eyes, Elgar'nan's Vallaslin?" Loranil asked.
"That's the man," she continued apprehensively. "Though you could add asshole and vulgar to that list."
"Are you sure we are talking about the same man? Anarel is the most pious man I know," Loranil said in disbelief.
"Anarel, pious? I don't believe it."
Solas made a sound between a scoff and a chuckle.
"Do you find this funny?" Ennaly shot at him, thinking Solas would support her in this.
Solas seemed a little apprehensive, as he spoke. "You left than man between the statues of your Gods, with all the words you spat at him after you crushed his soul. If there is an event that can make a man rethink his life and turn pious, that is."
Ennaly stared at him. "Do you really think he can just change?"
"I am saying it is possible," Solas said.
Ennaly sighed. "Damn him," she cursed. "I won't let him rob me of this event. Let's continue. If needed, I've defeated him once, I can do it again. Let's continue."
"I really think we might be talking about a different man," Loranil remarked and Briala and Judy shared an awkward look before they continued on. Not long after, they were greeted by a few Elves who greeted Loranil, and together, they made their way to the camp.
The knowledge that Anarel could appear from every corner did put a damper on the experience of being in a Dalish camp again. The surroundings might be different than what she had ever experienced, but the aravels and the faces were all that was home, once. The sparse trees that this landscape knew were decorated and flowers threaded on string hung from aravel to aravel. Young children were running around in laughter for anticipation of this day where they were allowed to stay up late. If they were like Ennaly, they would curl up to their mother not long after dinner and fall asleep, exhausted from the day's games, to be awoken just before sunset.
The smells of familiar foods made her forget about her worries for just a small moment. The scents of summer stew were in the air, and so was the scent of the honey cakes she loved so much. A boar was being slow-roasted over a fire and a cook was preparing fresh fruits and vegetables.
The Elves brought them in front of a white-haired man wearing a Keeper's coat and Andruil's Vallaslin. "Andaran Atish'an, Inquisitor," he said to Ennaly with a little nod of his head. "Be welcome, friends," he added to the others. "I am Keeper Hawen."
"Aneth ara, Keeper," they greeted back.
"May Falon'Din guide your kin to their peace," Hawen spoke. "I am sorry to hear of their passing. I knew Deshanna, once. It grieves me to hear of their fate. We shall remember them tonight."
"Thank you," Ennaly said softly. "And thank you again for inviting us."
"We are pleased to have you here on this special day. Please, make yourself comfortable and at home after your journey here. We shall have enough time to talk later."
They got offered drinks and comfortable floor pillows to recline on, and with the offered honey cakes, Ennaly let herself relax. Her own clan was gone. Nothing could ever bring them back again, but they were not the very last of the Dalish. Right now, she was surrounded with only Elves, and they had all been raised with somewhat similar values to how she herself was raised. No Humans to look at them in disgust, or worse, with lust. She could be her old self for a little bit.
She was watching a group of children running after each other in a game of tag, laughing loudly. Her childhood at the clan had been such a nice, worrisome time. Only when Solas squeezed her arm and rose did she notice the two figures approaching them. She could feel herself tense up at the sight of the man looking at her. She rose too.
Anarel looked different. It was hard to say what caused it. He was dressed like he always was, beaded necklaces and decoration in his long braid, but he somehow appeared... less rugged? More dignified? Was it something in his expression, his posture?
Next to him was Lamaira. She looked different too. Radiant, almost. She had her hands on her belly. She was very visibly pregnant, clearly in the last month. She must have been pregnant already the last time they had met, just not yet showing. Ennaly would have been her, in a different life.
"Lady Inquisitor," Anarel spoke, and the words did not have the sarcastic tone she would expect from him. "And... Solas, was it?" he added, looking at the man next to her.
Solas gave him a nod. Ennaly steeled her senses. She didn't know if he was simply playing a weird game or not. He had played enough weird games with her to make her never trust him again. "I can't honestly say I'm happy to see you, Anarel," she said. "I am happy to see you, though, Lamaira. Mythal's blessing and my congratulations."
"Thank you," Lamaira replied and sat down on a chair with a pained expression on her face, supporting her belly. "I cannot wait for the little one to be there." The girl saw how Ennaly looked at Anarel. "He's really changed."
"I think I owe you my apology," Anarel said.
She stared at him. He really did look apologetic. She glanced at Solas, who was looking at the man with a displeased expression. "The very last thing you said to me was an apology, if I remember correctly," she replied sharply and folded her arms.
"A sincere one this time, not a forced one," Anarel said. "And you as well, Solas."
"You do not owe me anything," Solas spoke sharply. "You do owe her, however."
Anarel faced Ennaly. "Can we speak alone?"
"The last time we spoke alone, you tried to do several things I did not want you to do." Her voice was still sharp.
Anarel sighed and lowered his eyes. It was then that Ennaly noticed that the necklaces he wore had changed. They were amulets with depictions of their Gods and holy symbols. "I greatly regret my actions. You showed me that you were stronger, that day, and I acknowledge it now. You can attack me if I make any action that displeases you."
Solas took a step closer to her, protective, as if he didn't want her to talk to him alone. Ennaly sighed. She could just image Anarel's taunting words if he realized she was too scared to face him alone. Really? You couldn't face me yourself after you left me? You still need those older men around you, don't you, little fawn, like you once needed me? And really, he is your lover now? You are so predictable. She could almost hear his laugh echoing in her mind. "No," she said quietly to Solas. "This is something I have to do by myself."
Solas gave her arm a squeeze. There was something in his gaze, some apprehension and concern. She gave him an encouraging smile. She could defend herself against Anarel if she had to. Solas didn't need to be afraid for her. He usually always praised her strengths, so why would he doubt her now? Solas' eyes kept following her as she turned to follow Anarel to a private clearing.
"You are justified in your anger towards me," he said.
"Really?" she asked scornfully as she folder her arms over each other.
"You have made me think, after I foolishly tried to attack you. You told me, you were chosen by our Gods. And I tried to attack you, in their sight. There is nothing I can do to make up for it."
"Am I just supposed to believe you?" Ennaly asked. She saw sincerity in his eyes, but she was so distrustful of this man that she couldn't just believe him.
"You have my true and honest apology for the pain I have caused you, Lady Inquisitor, and I have sought to better my life since."
"Are you shitting me?"
Anarel looked at her, with almost fervour in his eyes. "I have never told anyone about this, but you deserve to know. That night, after that spring day we last met, I had a vision, a dream. I don't know what it was, but I knew it was something... important. You are a mage too, you know how our dreams are. But this was different, this was... Real, almost. A wolf visited me, a massive white wolf. I cannot begin to describe the power I could feel from it. It spoke to me, and it shot my words back to me. It named me the traitor. I was given a choice, because he was feeling merciful. Either I had to repent my sins, or I would be devoured."
He looked at her with a sincerity she had never seen before in his green eyes. "I choose to repent my sins. You carry their power, Ennaly, and I had dared to oppose you. I cannot fix my past wrongdoings, but I am trying my best to better my life. I have been trying to help out your Inquisition to the best of my abilities, we've allowed your agents rest in our camp, we have given resources to strengthen them and given them all the information we knew. I know I cannot make up for what I did to you, but is there anything I can do for you, that I can give you?"
Ennaly stared at him. The words were shocking. Not Anarel's offer to repent, but the mentions of another wolf. She had dreamed of a massive, powerful, wolf once, that nudged her awake when she nearly died. In her dream, the wolf had not spoken, yet Anarel claimed it had to him, and referred her directly. She remembered claiming she belonged to the Dread Wolf. Was there some pact now? And then, what? Had the wolf faced Anarel just because he had attacked her? That was something she couldn't believe.
But, against her rational judgement, she did believe Anarel. She very well understood dreams that felt real, having experienced them so often now with Solas. There would be no reason for him to make this up. She straightened herself and faced Anarel. "After this day, I never want to see you again. And that won't be my responsibility. I want to make that your problem. Just make sure I will never have to lay eyes on you again, and you would have made me a happier woman."
"It will be done," Anarel said, and he bowed to her, before he retreated back, leaving her alone in the clearing.
She stared at the Anchor on her palm. What if there had been a bond, not one that started when she claimed it herself, but started when this power was attached to her? The dream she had about the wolf was far before she herself claimed she belonged to him. He'd never spoken to her, however. If he had some sort of higher plan, one would assume he'd make it known to her, would he not? Why would he speak to Anarel, yet not to her?
Ennaly heard footsteps approaching and looked up to see Solas walking near. "Are you alright?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied, not sure how she was feeling. She wasn't quite sure what she wanted to tell him. She didn't want to worry him with strange theories that had no basis in evidence, and besides, no matter what her Gods meant to her, they didn't mean the same to him.
"What did he say?" Solas asked, but she did not give a reply, lost in thought as she was. "Was he rude to you?"
Ennaly looked up to him. "He?" she asked, confused for a moment what he was talking about.
"Yes, Anarel, you just spoke to him."
Ennaly had almost forgotten about the man in her contemplations. "Oh, him. I believe he won't be bothering me anymore."
"That is good, is it not?"
"Solas?" she asked. He knew so much about Elven history, perhaps he knew more about the other mention there had been today about a wolf.
"Yes, Ennaly? He had placed his hands on her upper arms, his expression serious as he considered her pondering mood.
"Earlier today, I was standing next to Briala when she activated the Eluvian. She said Fen'Harel enansal right before it started to ripple, and I believe I heard it again when she closed the mirror after we passed through. The Dread Wolf's blessing. What does it mean, do you think?"
He stared at her with unseen eyes, still holding onto her arms as moments passed by. He did not move.
"Solas?" Ennaly asked, wondering why he almost seemed frozen in place.
He exhaled. Clearly, he had been holding his breath. He shook his head slightly, took his hands from her arms and took a step back. He stared to the side, to where a chain of threaded flowers lazily waved in the warm summer winds.
"It must have been a password," he said. Whatever mood had passed over him, seemed not to have left him yet.
"Why that phrase, though? It seems so odd."
"It is certainly unexpected."
"I don't think I was supposed to hear it." She paused, looking at the man in front of her. "Solas, is something wrong? You're not looking at me." At those words, he turned to look at her, but as she took a step closer, he almost seemed to take a step back. "Solas, please?"
He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands in his eyes. "I am sorry," he said, taking a step closer to her. "This day is already proving to be quite eventful. I had never expected to travel through the Eluvians like this, and then to see all those bodies and..."
"Yeah... It started out as rather fantastic and ended up rather horrible. It must have been so scary for them, and now, to be inhabited by demons... What could have caused them all to be locked in there?"
"Some terrible mistake," Solas replied in a quiet whisper.
Ennaly embraced him and put her head on his chest. His arms wrapped around her and for a moment, she felt safe, grounded again, without wolves that growled around in her mind. "You said the passageways were deteriorating. Can we restore it somehow?"
"Yes, I believe we could. Will it be worth it, though?" His tone was guilt-ridden somehow.
"Of course," she whispered back. "If we could, it would be a shame if we did not at least try. It is midsummer today. The day of change. We should try and enjoy this. I'm excited. You've shared so many things with me in our dreams, but now I have the chance to show you something from my life."
"It is a day of change for sure." The guilt in his tone changed. He sounded almost hopeful now, as he held her against him.
When they tried to forget about their troubles, the day turned enjoyable very soon. They talked with Keeper Hawen about the Inquisition, who allowed Loranil to join them, who vowed to help both their and Briala's causes.
Hawen said that they did not have a First to help out during the night's ceremonies, since his own First Taven was away on a quest of his own, and Lamaira was indisposed because of her pregnancy, and would not be up for the physical spellcasting involved. Ennaly said she would be honoured to help out, but did not have any attire appropriate for the task.
Several women of the clan took Ennaly to prepare for the ceremony. They helped her wash in the nearby river and rubbed scented oils in her skin. They braided her hair and decorated it with flowers. She got dressed in a simple white linen dress that reached her mid-calf and would flare out when spinning.
The dinner was amazing. All the flavours were familiar to Ennaly and felt like little memories. There was pain there, as she remembered which Lavellan clan members used to prepare these foods at her own festivals and her mother's favourite dishes. It used to be her, that braided her hair, and she used to add wooden beads she carved herself, little prayers of love and luck. Her mother had been so proud when she was old enough to fully guide a festival for the first time.
It was customary that at was sunset, the clan's Keeper would light the eight ceremonial torches surrounding a large central, unlit bonfire. The First would follow and bring the flames together to light the fire. During the day, the Dalish would add offerings to the branches with a wish. Since the summer solstice stood for change, the wishes would reflect that. Those in pour health might wish for a cure, a young girl might wish for a lover, a couple might wish to be blessed with a child, and there were always pleas for a prosperous harvest.
Ennaly asked if Solas still had the small token Judy had brought her in the morning, of the wolf and tree. Solas took it from his pocket and handed it over. "What do want with it?" he asked curiously.
"An offering," Ennaly replied and she approached the large unlit bonfire. She placed the icon between the branches and took a moment to find an inner calm. Quietly, she asked for understanding. She needed to know what all of this meant, and what her supposed role was. Solas observed her from the side-lines, but did not add anything of his own.
When the dinner was over, Ennaly was honoured to be allowed to wear some of the clan's heirlooms, a beaded belt, headband, necklaces and bracelets that would softly clatter together when dancing. Everyone was quiet as both Keeper Hawen and Keeper Anarel lit the eight torches with magic, dividing the task between them. All other fires were extinguished, and in the twilight, the eight torches were the only illumination. After the Keepers made their round, Ennaly circled around the unlit bonfire. She paused at each torch and with her magic, split the flame. She gathered the fire to hover above the central fire, but not yet lit it. In concentration, she passed the eight torches, dancing, twirling, her skirt fanned out to show the careful steps her legs made and the beads clattered, and with each passing of a torch, the hovering ball of fire grew.
"Elgar'nan, give me strength.
Mythal, clear my heart.
Falon'Din, guide my soul.
Dithamen, show me wisdom.
Andruil, steady my aim.
Sylaise, warm my home.
June, keep me sharp.
Ghilan'nain, speed my way."
There were only eight torches, and eight lines to speak. She looked up and saw Anarel standing near her, looking at her, religious fervour in his eyes. Anarel, who had been visited by a wolf in his dreams. This didn't feel right. Why were there only eight torches, when the one God that still roamed this realm was not included? It felt wrong to Ennaly, as if the lack of acknowledgement might invoke wrath. As her right hand kept the ball of fire afloat, she called forth fire in her left hand.
"Fen'Harel, grant me mercy."
The fire that erupted in her hand turned green as the magic of the Anchor bled through, and she realized she had called forth Veilfire instead of normal fire. With a twirl, she guided the green ball to merge with the normal fire, like the light of all the torched had, but it rejected it, and with a fizz, the green fire shot up and sped up into the sky, and exploded like firework before sparks came arching down. It was Veilfire and it didn't hurt, but at the first the Dalish seemed shocked about what was happening, before it turned to awe as they watched the sparks slowly dissipate, children jumping up to try and catch it.
The bonfire was now lit and the offerings, beads, amulets, flowers, all set aflame and the Dalish chanted as the music started and everyone got to their feet and started dancing. But as Ennaly stared in the flames, all she could see was a large wolf, just staring at her, like it was waiting for her.
Someone grabbed her hand and made her join the dance around the fire. She saw Loranil beaming at her, and a little further ahead, Briala and Judy were included, all holding hands in one large ring, and they were all laughing. She laughed, too. It was the season of change and not all change was bad. She was swept up in the dancing and it was fun, and she felt at home.
Solas hadn't joined, and after several dances, she went to find him. He was leaning against a nearby tree, observing the revelry. "Dance with me," she said, holding out her hand. "And don't say you're not Dalish, because Briala and Judy aren't either." She pointed over her shoulder, where the two city Elves were included in the dances.
He took her hand with a smile and they danced with the others in group dances, and sometimes just the two of them together. In between, they enjoyed the special dishes that were prepared for this event. It was a beautiful night, and for a moment, there was no worry, just dancing and being close with the man she loved, in a place that was so near to what home had been for thirty years of her life, and it felt good.
Around midnight, Ennaly returned the ceremonial heirlooms to the Keeper. The night-time air was still pleasantly warm. Dressed in the simple white gown, she grabbed Solas' hand and led him away, outside of the camp, to a quiet and sheltered place in a natural incline between some rock formations that were flanked by tall trees. The cheer from the camp slowly faded away and was overtaken by the buzz of crickets and other small insects.
Ennaly spread the blanket she'd taken and dropped down. It was a cloudless sky above and the stars were shining brightly. Solas sat down next to her. "I am glad you could have this day," he said with a smile. "You danced around the fire so beautifully." He picked one of the flowers from her hair that was a little wilted. As he twirled it between thumb and forefinger, he channelled magic through it to make it bloom again in full splendour, before he placed it back behind her ear.
"Beautiful, you said?" she remarked coyly as she curled up against him. She took the flower and placed it behind his ear instead.
"And so was the magic you performed."
"I didn't mean to call forth the Veilfire," she confessed. "It wasn't quite supposed to happen, but there were only eight torches and..." She sighed. She looked at the Anchor. It was still behaving a bit erratically. "It might have been the Anchor? We were closer to the Fade when were inside the realm of the Eluvians? You saw how it reacted there. The Achor has a connection to the Fade, after all."
Solas took her hand and kissed her palm. The flower behind his ear fell down to the grounds. "It might be. But do not hide it from me if it hurts. I can help out."
"I am sorry. I did want to worry you. I thought the experience of the Eluvians would be quite special to you, and I didn't want to tarnish it with my hurting hand."
"Did you think I would find the Eluvians more important than you? Because I love you, and you... you matter." He seemed shocked by his own words, as if they revealed a truth he had not yet realized.
Ennaly smiled and faced him to kiss him. He replied with a passion that spoke of a hunger, like her closeness to him was a necessity, as if something would surely end if he let go of her.
She moved to sit astride of him, but as she leaned closer again with the intent to resume their kiss, her eye fell on the jawbone amulet he always wore. It stood out clearly, dark against the light tunic. Another reminder of a wolf.
"What does this mean?" she asked as she took the amulet in her hand.
Solas started down at her hands. "It is a reminder of a promise I once made," he said, keeping his eyes on the bone. "I vowed to stand up for those that could not stand up for themselves."
"That is a noble goal," she replied softly. "That's what I try too, with the Inquisition. Or try to, at least. But why... Why is it from a wolf?"
"Why do you ask?" he asked in return.
Ennaly released the amulet and leaned back to look up at the skies, avoiding Solas' gaze. "Perhaps I'm seeing things. There have been too many mentions of wolves today. I wasn't supposed to call upon Fen'Harel during the ceremony, you know."
Upon mentioning that name, Solas sat upright. "I could see that from the reactions of those around me," he replied quietly. "You asked for mercy."
Ennaly looked down at him. His look was emotional, raw. She couldn't quite read it. "Solas, I am scared," she whispered.
Solas looked shocked, apologetic, distraught. "No..." he said, and pulled her closer against him. She buried her head in his shoulder. "Ennaly, don't be scared," he whispered. His voice almost broke. "There is nothing to be scared of. Mercy..." He held her and it seemed like he needed her for support as much as she needed him. "I won't let anything happen to you," he whispered in her ear.
"I don't think you can stand up to a God," she sniffled, but she laughed between her tears.
Solas parted to wipe away her tears. "I would stand up against the world for you."
"That will get you killed," Ennaly said with a faint smile at the earnestness of his words.
Solas seemed serious. "For you, I would risk it."
"I'd rather have you close to me." She tightened her hold on him. "It might be the day of change, but some things remain the same."
"Like what?"
"I still love you." She leaned back in to resume their long-paused kiss.
Solas gave his reply in between his kisses. "I love you too, vhenan."
Ennaly's smile grew as she pushed against his shoulders so he would lean back again. She pulled the white linen dress over her head. It was the only thing she wore. She grinned briefly as she noticed Solas' eyes shifting over her moon-lit body, before she leaned back in again. It was the shortest night tonight, but it certainly wasn't over yet.
Tomorrow, they would go back and she had to be Inquisitor again. But here, she could just be a normal woman spending the night with the man she loved, where she could forget about her worries for just a little longer.
