Wounds to Bind Chapter 33 – 'Put your heart, mind and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret to success.'

December 6 – APOV

Mary listens when I call Mom. I can't travel to Savannah over Christmas because I have a new job. Mom's not happy but she says she and Bob can plan a golf trip somewhere, perhaps Scottsdale again. She asks if we should plan for them to fly from Scottsdale to Seattle for a day, or if I want to fly from Seattle to Scottsdale on Christmas Day. I assure her I will come to Georgia to visit her for a long weekend, like Memorial Day.

I thank Mom for the exceptional wreath she sent Kate for our front door. She brags she's on the decoration committee for the country club. She laments I will miss the New Year's Eve Ball at the country club. I promise to send a picture of my ensemble for the company Christmas party. I tell her there are group pictures on the Seattle Times website and on Kate's Facebook page. I explain Kate and I are having a girls' only Christmas Tea and are inviting Mia Grey. Kate's flying to Aspen with Elliot and the Greys for Christmas. Mom urges me to reconsider my relationship with Christian when she hears I am not joining them. I am celebrating in Montesano with Dad, Laura, the Rodriguez men and probably half-a-dozen vets. She doesn't listen to me and I won't take her counsel. We wish each other a happy holiday season and then hang up.

Mary asks about my evaluation. I explain about Ros Bailey, my evaluation and my new job. I'm thrilled to be an editorial reader. I'm thrilled to have my own office with an official name plate. I'm thrilled to have business cards. I could just hug Ros Bailey for being in the right place at the right time. I tell Mary about Hyde and taping our conversations on my phone. She regrets I feel I need, but says obviously Elizabeth does not support me.

"Today's topic is building a support network. Let's begin by listing the people in your life." Mary writes as I list people: Mom, Dad, Laura, Bob, Kate, Elliot, Mia, Claire, Emily, Amber, Shawn, Harley, Ethan, the Kavanaghs, the Rodriguez men, and Mr. Roach. I don't want to think about how I would have Carrick and Grace, and Frannie and Theo if Christian was in my life.

We discuss their level of support in my life.

"Do you ever get tired of being everyone else's cheerleader? Shouldn't you be your own cheerleader? You need to define your life roles of daughter, friend, lover and employee…and then define what you need to make you happy and healthy," Mary suggested. "That is your assignment for December. We will examine each of your roles and what you need to be successful with each of them."

I take the paper from her and add the list to my phone.

"Our bodies should not define who we are," Mary announced.

"I don't understand," I admit.

"You are a petite woman…not a little girl. You decide how people treat you. If you accept an action one time…you open yourself for accepting that action forever." Mary advised. "Don't accept rudeness from your peers ever. You'll be attending editorial meetings where you are more than a secretary and less than an editor. Dress and act professionally. Research You Tube on how to conduct yourself at company meetings."

December 9 – APOV

"Anastasia Steele to see Robb Loeder from HR. I have a nine o'clock meeting with him." I inform the front desk at Grey House. I'm wearing my grey Grand Opening dress with the Barney's black blazer, my heeled Mary Janes, and the black briefcase purse. Kate fixed my hair in an elegant chignon once I explained I was at Grey House this morning.

"Please wait," security at reception advises.

Shortly I'm upstairs and working with Robb Loeder. He's a pleasant man who reminds me of my college advisor. I give him my task breakdown. We work through the list, comparing my task list to my WPS. After he reviews my manuscript evaluation form and procedures, he fine tunes them and we format them according to Grey House's procedures manual. He sends the form and procedures to Jerry Roach with a copy to GP IT. He prints a copy for me, one for Elizabeth and emails the procedures to me and to Ros Bailey. When we are done, he walks me to the elevator. I'm not surprised when the doors open and Ros is in the elevator.

"I'll take her downstairs Loeder," Ros smiles. I shake Loeder's hand goodbye and thank him for his best wishes for success in my new position.

Warily I step onto the elevator. "Good morning," I am nervously pleasant.

"I saw the form and the procedures Loeder sent," Ros explained her presence. "I wanted to thank you. The synopsis form is more detailed and the procedures are delineated and easy to follow. You found a huge hole in the system and were able to fix it for us. Thank you again."

Before I can reply, the elevator door opens, and Olivia stands there. "Mr. Grey is looking for you Ms. Bailey. Can you come up to the Executive Offices?" She gave me a questioning glance.

"Come on Olivia. We'll go up. I'll ask Taylor to escort Miss Steele down to reception." Ros inserts a key in the elevator, clears the directory and we're headed for the twentieth floor.

When the doors open, an impatient Christian waits for Ros.

"Sheesh, cool your jets. Everything is ready and on my desk. We have," Ros consulted her watch, "thirty minutes until the M&A meeting. I'll go to my office and double check everything, if you will ask Taylor to escort Miss Steele to reception."

"I'll do that," Olivia moves to the front of the elevator.

"No," Christian interrupted. "Go with Ros and make sure she has everything we need for the meeting. I'll take Miss Steele to reception."

"I can get Taylor to do that for you," Olivia offered, batting her eyes.

"I sent Taylor to Security to wait for our guests," Christian held the elevator door. "Ros is waiting for you." He dismissed Olivia. She scurried out of the elevator, flashing an ugly grimace at me.

WTF?

"How have you been?" Christian asked as the doors closed. He inserted a key in the elevator and programmed the elevator not to stop until the first floor.

"Healthy, busy…" I don't bite my lip; I don't breathe in his scent because I need a clear head. Lord, it's still there…that current between us. "How have you been?"

"Healthy, busy…lonely." Christian admitted. "What are you doing here?"

"Ros can explain better than I can, but I had a meeting with HR."

"Are you coming to work as an intern for Grey House?" Christian asked, his voice hopeful.

"Sorry, no. Ros arranged for me to change jobs at Grey Publishing. I've been promoted to Editorial Reader. Lofty sounding title, but really, I'm just reading and analyzing manuscripts eighty-five percent of the time. I met with Robb Loeder from your HR staff to finalize the procedures manual for the position." I assure him. "Miss Wardrobe Malfunction is now Hyde's new clerical staff. Ros arranged for me to report to Mr. Roach."

"Well, congratulations on the job promotion," Christian smiled and held out his hand to shake mine. I barely shake his before the elevator doors opened.

Taylor stood there and eyed our hand clasp. "Miss Steele," he blocked the elevator doors open for me. "Olivia requested you be escorted to your car in parking."

Christian muttered something, which sounded like "Fucking interfering assholes."

I squeezed Christian's hand. "Thank you for the congratulations, sir. I will do my best to prove I'm worthy of the trust Grey House placed in me." I exited the elevator.

Christian stuck his head out the elevator door. "Laters baby." His comment made me grin. The elevator door closed, but he had a huge smirk on his face.

"Taylor, thank you for seeing me to my car. Am I imagining things, or is Olivia giving me the bum's rush?" I turned in my visitor's badge to the front desk, silently laughing at their speechless looks of surprise.

Taylor gave security at the front desk a stern look which caused them to suddenly have other things to do than examine who the hell Mr. Grey called baby.

"Olivia will be frosty when she hears Mr. Grey called you baby." Taylor commented and walked me to my car in the parking lot. "I'm sure that rumor will have gone through the building before I get back to Security to quash the video."

"Aw, cut the girl some slack. He's a lot to deal with," I laughed.

"Can I hope you'll be dealing with him soon?" Taylor asked.

"Not yet," I shrugged apologetically.

December 11

"Hello Anastasia," Dr. Flynn appeared while I sat outside a game store. Kate is purchasing a hand-held, battery-operated baseball game for Elliot's Christmas stocking.

"Hello, Dr. Flynn," I greeted him. "Please just call me Ana."

"If you are just Ana, then I'm just John," he took a seat beside me.

"So, which camp claims your allegiance – the give Christian a second chance camp or dump Christian's rude ass and move on camp?" I know my voice is resigned. Kate's been after me all morning to start dating again, or at least make an effort to have a New Year's Eve date.

"Are those my only two choices?" John teased. "How about a support Ana's decision camp? I'm not breaking doctor patient confidentiality. I want everyone to have peace on earth and a wonderful holiday season. I believe you and Christian would both have a Happy Christmas if you could just talk to one another."

"John, see the three-dimension chess board?" I pointed at a crystal, onyx and quartz chess game in the window of the toy store. "Christian's on one level, I'm on one level, and we can't seem to coordinate our moves to get together on the same level."

"Eloquently explained, Ana," John rose.

"Christian would say, fair point well made." My soft voice does not reveal the pain my heart feels. I've seen five different potential Christmas presents for Christian this morning, and haven't purchased a thing. The SEC has been, to repeat a rude phrase from Kate, a cock blocker. He's constantly been in my thoughts since the elevator ride, and the handshake and the 'laters baby' in that sex-on-legs voice of his.

"Would he now?" John projects a poker face. "I'm available if you want to attend couple's counseling with Christian. Couple's counseling addresses relationship issues."

"Thanks, but…I heard Christian quit touch therapy." I shrug. "I'm not keeping tabs on him, but Elliot and Kate talk, and I do hear. I don't think Kate hears me when I say I'm not interested in dating anyone."

"Technically, he postponed attending touch therapy sessions until after the holidays. Christian is trying to keep business trips to weekdays so he has weekends to attend therapy and to spend with his family." John explained. "However, he was in New York for a conference when you attended the Grey Annex White Christmas Gala."

"Ah, then you understand I attended with a friend so my drunk boss wouldn't hit on me? John, I'm working on my issues and I'm not outing Christian's. I don't want to be made to feel guilty because I feel the way I feel. I'm not ready to date yet – not Kate's fixups, or Christian. I need time, and I wish everyone would understand. If I don't see you again before Christmas, please have happy holidays." I picked up our shopping bags and headed to Kate. Then I whipped around. "Hey, John, can you tell me the best place in Seattle to buy English crackers for Christmas?"

XXX – 3PPOV

John didn't normally buy presents for his patients but this seemed too serendipitous to pass up. He walked into the toy store and bought a three-dimension chess board for Christian.

December 13 – APOV

Mary and I try French cuisine tonight. I can't help but think about Christian's ability to speak French. She's pleased I'm on schedule with buying my Christmas gifts. She asks what I will do if Christian sends me a gift. I explain I don't want anything from him. I explain Kate wants Elliot to propose…and I want time to think about my life. Our desires are so different…like our Grey men. Mary and I have a serious discussion about the fundamental differences between Christian and Elliot. While she's curious about Christian…she does not pry.

This week's assignments require some explanation. Practice kindness and sympathy…which is not to be confused with charitable donations. Make someone else feel special…again, not to be confused with charitable donations. Control your mind…don't waste time daydreaming, but use your time to plan a life you want to live. Control your emotions...I explain I'm anxiously awaiting news about a situation. I tell her I can't discuss the situation yet. She reminds me to maintain control of my emotions and just breathe. She reminds me to practice deep, relaxing breathing exercises.

December 16 – CPOV

I had a night terror last night, so I won't go to bed until the last possible moment tonight. Taylor must have warned Mrs. Jones I was coming home with two boxes of work files. When I explained I was working in the office, she brought me a large slice of chocolate cake and a glass of milk – 'to tide you over until dinner' – of course.

An hour later, Mrs. Jones brought me a tray with a carafe of ice water. I eat the excellent Steak Bordelaise with red wine, shallot and mushroom sauce, mashed potatoes, and braised red chard, white asparagus tips and red onion rings. I'm lucky she isn't my mother who would be offended because I wasn't eating at the table after she cooked such a wonderful meal. I'm lucky she remembers I always eat in my home office while working.

One of Barney's stacks contains half a dozen folders for fiber optics materials plants and fiber optics manufacturing plants which could use intervention and reorganization. Barney suggested GEH acquire and consolidate. The issue is they aren't in Washington, and will require travel to inspect them, negotiate with the current owners, and a week of hands-on reorganization. I send the suggestion off to Ros for review and formulating a game plan. Unless something more interesting appears on the west coast…we can conduct the preliminary checks between now and the end of the year and then start M&A talks after the New Year.

Ros recommends Barney and I attend an emerging technologies summit in Raleigh, North Carolina last week of February, in the middle of the week. I will have weekends free for therapy and family. I work through the final file in the boxes at midnight. I have attached notes and detailed directives to the front of each file. Andrea and Ros will have a good time with them tomorrow. Maybe I can send Olivia to filing and depend on Taylor to keep me in coffee. I'm barely functional when I collapse in bed.

I sit in my chair behind my desk. Ana entered and closed the door. "I need to work," Dom Christian has spoken.

"I know; I just want to be in the same room with you." Ana drops the satin sheet wrapped around her on the floor, revealing her naked body. The little minx is topping from the bottom!

"Come here," I held out my hand. She walked across the room and took my hand. I guided her to between my knees. "Kneel, sit back on your heels, hands flat on your thighs. Put your head on my left leg." She followed directions, beautifully. I stroke her hair while reading. Occasionally I rub my thumb across her pouty lower lip. A couple times I put my hands on her head, my thumbs at her ears. I am able to pull her up and plant a kiss or two on her lips from time to time when items are loading on the computer. A couple times I slipped my thumb into her mouth, and had her suck.

I have her go to the office bar and pour me a drink, with ice. When she presents the drink, she straddles me, one leg on one side, one on the other, the drink held in her hand. I take a drink and then plant a cold kiss on one of her breasts. When I am done with my drink and with kissing her, I slip her down between my knees. When I'm done with work, I pick her up, throw her over my shoulder, swat her on the ass and carry her off to my bed. I am ready to bury myself in her for hours…and she is ready for action…having been passive for the last four hours. Anticipation makes her hot, wet and so ready for me.

"I want you…" I lay her down on the bed. "You are mine…" I tie her hands above her head, blindfold her and explore every inch of her naked alabaster skin. "You are so beautiful…" I kiss her pouty mouth. "Don't move…absorb all the pleasure I'm giving you…" and I go down on her. After I make her come several times with my fingers and my mouth…I bury myself in her, hard, hot, deep and fast and cry out her name over and over as I come harder than I have come in weeks…

…and I wake up to a cold grey Seattle morning…missing the warmth and softness of my Anastasia. Once I clean up…I run until my legs are rubber and my angst has evaporated into the cloudy sky.

December 17 – APOV

Kate and I decided to host a Christmas party at our condo. I invited Claire, Emily and Amber. Kate invited three interns she works with. For fun and giggles, we both invited Mia. Mia helped us plan our party, decorations and menu. I prepped the food; Mia decorated; Kate hired a cleaning service and bought champagne. Mia brought an icebreaker and a game to play. Kate announced she had other entertainment for us.

Everyone brought a decadent or designer present with a $50 spending limit. I asked Kate to select my exchange gift because I don't have a clue. She bought a lovely Waterford bud vase for my $50. Her gift is a Coach card and change wallet with the signature Coach leather tag. The wallet is black leather and nice…but seriously…I think the wallet is a glorified change purse, not the bank. Who knew luxury could be had for so little? Everyone was requested to wrap their present in red and white paper. Kate gives me the presents to wrap. I have candy cane wrap which makes Kate giggle and walk away. I'm not sure I want to ask what that is about.

XXX

"Kate has a 9-sided dice. Everyone rolls and gets the gift with that number." Mia called out directions for us to roll the dice alphabetically. Once we're done, she continues. "Introductions are easy…we'll begin with whoever has gift number one. which is me. State your name, your favorite Christmas movie, Christmas song, Christmas treat and Christmas ornament. My name is Mia. My favorite Christmas movie is Miracle on 34th Street – the original one with Natalie Wood. My favorite Christmas song is White Christmas. My favorite Christmas treat is gourmet hot chocolate with cinnamon-flavored marshmallows. My favorite Christmas ornament is a crystal piano because my brother always plays piano on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day for our family." Mia wears a red cashmere sweater dress with black knee-high, high-heeled boots. She's wearing jingle bell earrings which tinkle when she shakes her head or moves.

"My name is Claire. My favorite Christmas movie is The Preacher's Wife. My favorite Christmas song is The Christmas Song by Nat and Natalie Cole. My favorite Christmas treat is pecan pralines. My favorite ornament is a corn-husk angel which my grandmother had when she was a girl." Claire wears a drop-dead red tunic sweater and leggings with a red velvet headband in her Halle Berry pixie hair. Her nails are painted white with holly and berries motif.

"My name is Ana. My favorite Christmas movie is Scrooge, the Musical. My favorite Christmas song is Greensleeves. My favorite Christmas treat is gourmet white chocolate truffles. My favorite Christmas ornament is wooden angel my father made for me when I was seven." I wear my white tunic sweater and leggings, and my hair is in a ponytail. My natural French manicure needs to be refreshed… which is scheduled for tomorrow. I'm wearing white pearl stud earrings.

Everyone is dressed festively, the condo is decorated, and chatter and laughter fill the rooms. I am grateful Mia banned work talk. I am more than grateful Kate banned all gossip about Christian.

XXX

"Since introductions are over, and everyone has a plate of food and a glass of champagne, let's begin the entertainment. I have 120 questions," Mia announced. "They are all Christmas oriented. The first person to answer correctly gets to steal a prize. Ready? The song White Christmas was first performed in what 1942 film?"

"White Christmas," Kate guessed.

"Nope," Mia shook her head.

"Holiday Inn," guessed one of Kate's friends. She won and stole Kate's present. I recognize our wrapping paper on the present she traded Kate. I recognize the vase.

"What does Donner and Blitzen mean?" Mia moves on to question two.

"Thunder and Lightning, they are German origin," Claire answered correctly and stole my present, which was a flat, square box wrapped in red with a large white gossamer bow. The present she hands me is a candy cane shaped box which feels like a bottle of booze. She's addicted to bracelets so she must think there is one in the box.

"What Christmas condiment is made from marshworts?" Mia continues down her list of questions.

"Cranberry sauce," another one of Kate's friends guessed. She was right and stole Mia's gift, which was Kate's Coach wallet. Mia now has an intricately wrapped flat box, about the size of a tie box.

After forty minutes of laughter and an argument about what date is St. Stephan's Day, all the presents were stolen one last time. I answered the question correctly as December 26, which became a discussion of Boxing Day, and mummers, and Good King Wenceslas. I also correctly answered the questions about the origin of English crackers, the numerical name of Three Kings Day (Twelfth Night), the flavor of marzipan (almonds), and Good King Wenceslas was not a king. Kate knew the chemical composition of snow was H2O, and poinsettias originated in Mexico, and brandy is made from distilling wine.

Since I answered the last question – I get one last trade before we open our presents. I was holding the bracelet box, and Claire was holding a square box. I traded her which netted me a brilliant smile. We open presents next. Claire's package holds a thin, etched vermeil bangle bracelet which one of Kate's friends bought in an antique store. Claire's excited – she says this is the one hundredth bracelet in her collection. Emily opens the tie box to reveal a set of silver-plate bookmarks with white silk tassels. They are etched with a forest scene. I secretly covet them. I won a tin of Godiva Chocolate Biscuits. Kate won a Tiffany silver-plated key ring. Mia won a bottle of white truffle oil which was in the candy-cane shaped package. Amber won my Waterford crystal bud vase. One of Kate's friends unwrapped the Coach card and change wallet.

We ate three kinds of finger sandwiches – Caprese Sandwiches on star-shaped bread, Minced Red Pepper and Chicken Salad Sandwiches on round bread, or Open-Faced Cucumber Sandwiches with Lemon Cream Cheese on tree-shaped bread. We have three kinds of savories – Ham, Asparagus and Havarti Cheese Mini Quiches, Red Pepper Bits, Bacon and Sharp Cheddar Scones or Crabmeat Savory Rolls baked in a tree shape. We have four sweets – Petite Vanilla Bean Scones, Cranberry Orange Pecan Tea Cakes, Cherry Shortbread Cookies or Christmas Petit Fours. We didn't drink a lot of tea, but the champagne flowed freely.

Kate entertained us with a Christmas porn DVD. I occupied my time circulating food and feeding Sawyer and Anders tea goodies. I'm glad I made enough tea treats for six dozen guests. Those guys demolish twice as much food as one lady. They occupied chairs in the hall outside our condo. At a huge outbreak of giggles, hoots and catcalls, I peeked, "Santa is kissing Miss Holly under the mistletoe. You just don't want to know where he's placed it." Sawyer snorted; Anders blushed Christmas red.

When a male stripper showed up in a Santa suit, Sawyer went ballistic. I caught a look at his blue eyes and busted Elliot for trying to gatecrash the party. Sawyer threatened to make him leave…which made Elliot threaten to leave coal in all our stockings. I told him to sit down and eat. A cranky Santa is no fun for anyone. I brought out another full platter of goodies. More giggles, hoots and catcalls filled the hall. Elliot wanted to know just what we were doing in the condo. Sawyer gave me a look.

"You don't want to know where Santa's putting his candy cane. I don't want to know where Santa's putting his candy cane." I blushed.

Elliot grimaced. "Have Katie call me when she's done." He took a napkin full of treats and raced down the stairs.

After everyone left, Kate, Mia and I exchanged gifts. I gave Kate the emerald green winter set I bought at the VFW Christmas Fair. Her Christmas cracker held a holly-motif whistle. I gave Mia the amethyst winter set. Her Christmas cracker had a purple aluminum kazoo. Both of them will stand out on the slopes at Aspen! Kate bought me a cobalt blue silk teddy and matching robe. Mia gave me a bone china tea-for-one set with wildflowers, butterflies and dragonflies. She found my tea-for-one set at one of the tea shops. I will know where to look for a large plate and small plate to hold food or goodies. Kate called Grace to come imbibe with us, and we had a lot of fun. I get a case of the giggles, and eventually Kate puts my silly head to bed.

XXX – CPOV

Sawyer said Ana drank too much champagne and Kate put her to bed. When Mom, Mia and Kate disappear, I beg Taylor to break in to the condo and let me make sure Ana is alright. How could they put a drunken Ana to bed and not check on her? Taylor swears; he remembers Ana throwing up that first night from drinking too much. He drives me there immediately, and lets us in with a key and a code. "Improvise, overcome, adapt…when Elliot was drunk one night, I brought him here. I made a mold of the key and he told me the security code. I memorized the code for future emergencies."

"I'd fire you, but I need that level of discretion now," I remind him. I go into Ana's bedroom, quietly taking off my shoes, and lying down next to her. I wrap my arms around her, breathing in the scent of her hair. She snuggles into my arms like she never left their protective circle. I'm so fucking happy at this moment to hold her, smell her scent, bury my nose in her hair and wrap my arms around her. If she were sentient, I'd spank her for getting drunk and then fuck her into the middle of next year. "Jet'aime, mon ange," I whisper. She bought new high thread count sheets. I enjoy laying my head on the pillow next to her. She's wearing a cobalt blue flirty silk teddy. I will torture myself researching designer silk and satin teddies for my girl to wear to bed.

Three hours later, Taylor lets me know Kate is on her way back to the condo, with Elliot. We have to go, or be discovered. I start to slip out of Ana's bed, when she starts talking in her sleep.

"Go away," she mutters.

"Go away?" I'm surprised. I know she's asleep but she snuggled into my arms when I came to bed. Now she wants me to leave?

"You always go away…you're like Jane Eyre haunting Edward Rochester's dreams. You are here in my dreams so many times…and then in the morning you are gone." She pulls the comforter up to her chin and snuggles into her pillow.

My thumb soothes the little v-frown she gets. I want to kiss those pouty pink lips…but I cannot wake her or get caught. I'm out of there as quick as possible. Taylor and I are less than two blocks away when Anders reports Kate and Elliot are in the condo for the night.

XXX – APOV

I think I wake in the night to Christian stroking my hair. Is he speaking in French? I don't want to open my eyes and chase the dream away…but he's leaving anyway.

"Go away," I mutter.

"Go away?" He sounded surprised.

"You always go away…you're like Jane Eyre haunting Edward Rochester's dreams. You are here in my dreams so many times…and then in the morning you are gone," I fall back asleep. In the morning, I think I remember Christian's scent, but the scent evaporated like my dreams of him. I don't want to think about him. However, I search my bed for a stray copper hair, but there is none. Having Christian in my bed was just a dream. I'm lucky he didn't know I drank until I got the giggles and passed out. At least this time I didn't throw up and embarrass myself by drunk dialing him.

December 18 – CPOV

I wake, not from a nightmare or from a wet dream, but from an erection…a painful, throbbing erection. I am so hard; I would have thought I was with Anastasia in the playroom. I spend a lot of time laying there, waiting for my erection to subside. What was I dreaming about? I'm sure I dreamt about Ana…but the dream is gone…and the pain survives.

XXX – APOV

Mia, Kate and I choose detox massages today. I guess I'm not the only one hungover from our Christmas party yesterday. My head throbs painfully while I'm getting a manicure. I enjoy the face and neck massage during the facial and a scalp massage during the shampoo. I skip the pedicure. I justify my decision because of winter and no one will be nibbling on my toes for a while. I can't read manuscripts on my tablet because my head hurts. Kate brings me a bottle of water and reminds me to hydrate. I remember Christian giving me water the night I got drunk with Kate and José. Although Portland seems so long ago… lately memories of Christian are never far from my head…or my heart.

XXX – 3PPOV

Elena had not heard from Leila since before Thanksgiving. She should be healed from her bruised ribs and black eye from Halloween. What was she up to? Elena didn't like what she was hearing from Lauren about Ana and what she was hearing from Liv about Christian. She was pissed to hear Ana was in Grey House and personally escorted to reception by Christian who said, 'laters, baby' to the bitch!

Elena called Leila's phone, but voicemail was full. She had been to Leila's motel twice and dropped notes through the mail slot to her room. There was no one to contact about Leila. Susanna had not heard from her. The motel owner would not open the room for her. He claimed Elena was not on Leila's contact list. He said Leila was not there and he felt honor bound to leave her things as they were. He verified Leila wasn't lying dead on the bathroom floor. Until the police came to say she was missing, or until Leila returned or until her rent was exhausted the first week of January – he wasn't letting anyone in her room.

The salons were floundering. Elena finally closed the Esclava Salons on Mondays and shuffled staff between the salons to ensure they stayed open. She was doing the best she could, managing two salons and assigning Franco to manage two salons. She hadn't worked this hard since she worked twelve-hour days to establish the chain. Franco, against her orders, slashed the prices at his two salons through the holidays, claiming the walk-in traffic at Post Alley had dwindled to almost nothing. He provided thirty percent discount flyers to local hotels to keep Esclava, Post Alley from closing the doors. He hired six mid-level students from three of the local beauty academies. Top level students were not interested in working for Esclava Salons any longer.

Franco wanted to offer free WIFI at the shops to attract new clients, or encourage established clients to opt for more services in order to take advantage of the free WIFI. He also wanted a bigger social media presence. He wanted to offer event pricing…like bridal, graduation, prom specials. He wanted to attend chamber mixers to get the word out to potential new clients. He fired the maintenance crew which had been with Elena for years, assigning cleaning duties to each of the staff members on a rotating basis at the shops he managed. He created holiday gift baskets from retail product which wasn't moving. The few baskets which didn't sell were donated to charities in lieu of the full day of beauty Elena used to offer. Fucking flamboyant fairy! Wouldn't share when he heard good gossip…and a pain in her goddamned ass when she already felt screwed by Christian Grey, et. al.

Elena contemplated selling everything and moving to Belize. She had enough money stashed; she should have a good life for the rest of her days. A palatial home by the sea, good looking male servants to fuck, and a social life. She could run a discreet dungeon at her home which catered to tourists with a twist. There was no sense killing herself over these damn salons. Damn Anastasia Steele and damn her hold on Christian Grey. Stupid bastard.

December 20 – APOV

Jack has a sly grin on his face when I appear at the editorial meeting. I sit next to Amber and talk quietly to her, ignoring the cool atmosphere of the room. A subdued Lauren sits on the other side of Amber. At least she's dressed appropriately. I wondered how soon she would lose her giggly, flirty demeanor working for Jack. Amber sent me an instant message this morning. Jack announced he plans to ask me tough questions about the manuscripts I've been reading. He thinks I'm just screwing around and not really reading. I thank Amber for the heads up. I may not have eidetic reading capabilities like Jack. I had a 4.0 GPA, asshole, I do my homework.

Before the meeting starts, Mr. Roach addressed us. "Sorry to disrupt the agenda. I just need to make a quick announcement and then we'll resume. Grey Publishing submitted an online position announcement for an Electronic Publishing Editor. The position announcement requires three years of electronic publishing experience with five years in publishing. The deadline for résumés is December thirty-first. We will convene a panel consisting of three editors, myself and HR to review the résumés. We will pick the top five candidates by January sixth. Skype interviews will be conducted by January thirteenth. We will invite the top three candidates for interviews the week of January twenty-third. We hope to tender an offer to someone before February first, with them arriving at GP by March first to begin their work."

"Where will we house the new editor?" Jack sneered. "Ana took the only available open office."

"Grey Construction is reconfiguring offices over Martin Luther King's birthday," Mr. Roach replied. "I haven't seen the blueprints yet, but Grey House HR assures me there's plenty of room for everyone." He begins a systematic review of everything on the agenda.

I have a short presentation prepared. I have two manuscripts which I am championing, and Jack is a prick about my presentation. He has a dozen questions for each manuscript. I politely thank him for his insightful questions. He suggests the genre for both of them is glutted with new releases and we should postpone dealing with them right now. Mr. Roach sidesteps his suggestion and requests the manuscripts be sent to the beta readers for their input. I assure him I will handle his request.

When we break for lunch, I make a quick escape up to Mia's office. "Please don't tell anyone I am here. I just need a place to hide out so I don't stab my ex-boss with a letter opener."

Mia sends Sawyer to procure lunch for us. We gossip about Kate's article in the paper with the picture of our tablescape and the menu for the party. I think the article is partly why Jack is such a dick to me. The article netted several thousand views online. Kate's link to a PDF of Mia's Christmas trivia is popular also. I'm excited for her.

XXX

Mary and I talk about Jack Hyde and his issues with me, and the editorial meeting. We spend our time researching You Tube topics on handling business meetings, preparing for business meetings, business attire, business attitudes. She gives me a dozen questions about my job and career and life goals to consider. I'm to provide answers the first week in January. She wants to know how many hours a day or week I'm working…and if I'm using work to avoid people and events.

December 23 – APOV

Text from Harley Harrison to Anastasia Steele:I hope you've been a good girl…Santa Extraordinaire Claus is delivering two packages before the end of the year.

I don't need to be a code breaker to understand. The SEC is arresting Hyde and Lincoln before the end of the year. I shake my head and look out the window of my office for a minute before getting back to work. Part of me wishes I could warn Christian, but I can't. Part of me wishes…and I sigh. Will he forgive me for helping put Elena in prison?

December 24 – CPOV

I'm wearing a Santa suit…which is very odd, and not like me. I reach in the bag of presents and pull one out. "Isabella." My first submissive rises from a dark corner and moves toward me.

"Thank you, Sir," She doesn't look at me but takes her lacy boyshorts-clad ass to another corner. She loved lacy lingerie…and if the lingerie irritated her skin…the happier she was.

"Dawn," I call out, holding a package for her.

Dawn rises gracefully and I remember she liked pale pink, pale purple, silver, and white bikini panties.

"Thank you, Sir," she accepts my gift and walks to the corner and kneels.

"Kristin," I call out, holding a package for her.

Kristin rises gracefully and I remember she liked white satin and lace lingerie and white silk blouses.

"Thank you, Sir," she accepts my gift and walks to the corner and kneels.

"Susanna," I call out, holding a package for her.

Susanna rises gracefully and I remember she liked cream, beige, mocha and chocolate lingerie. The colors seemed to warm her cool, pale skin.

"Thank you, Sir," she accepts my gift and walks to the corner and kneels.

"Kendra," I call out, holding a package for her.

Kendra rises gracefully and I remember she liked navy, burgundy, dark purple and black lingerie to accent her pale skin.

"Thank you, Sir," she accepts my gift and walks to the corner and kneels.

"Leila," I call out, holding a package for her.

Leila rises gracefully and I remember she liked animal print underwear. If the underwear was animal print, the color didn't matter.

"Thank you, Sir," she accepts my gift and x walks to the corner and kneels.

"Sabine." There is no reply.

"Sabine." She still does not come forward. I set the gift on the table…there is already a pile of gifts there…with Ana's name on the gift tags.

"They don't want what you can buy them," John wears a Father Christmas costume. "I don't see your heart on this table, addressed to Ana."

…and I awake. I remember Ana looked …edible…fuckable…loveable…in the pale blue underwear Taylor bought for her. I search silk and satin teddies for her. The cobalt blue one looked classy on her.