Wounds to Bind Chapter 38 – 'It's insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams.' –Vin Diesel
January 7 – APOV
My Christian dream was vivid, but weird. We're at an amusement park. Christian steals kisses at the top of the Ferris wheel, and we hold hands while walking around. He wins a vibrant blue-eyed teddy bear, which he swears reminds him of me. He leaves me standing by the gate to the Tunnel of Love while he goes off to get tickets. He doesn't return, which wakes me up. What the hell is that about?
Dream interpretation of an amusement park? You need to relax. Cryptic much? Receiving a teddy bear as a gift? Companionship, trust and security. I snort…literally. Ana, you're overthinking. Go for a run and clear your damn head. I don't know where to run around here. Key, phone, pepper spray, debit card and $40 in my wallet. I'm walking to clear my head and discover what is in the neighborhood.
XXX
"I just can't deal any longer," Kate moaned at lunch. "I need to hire a professional organizer and turn her loose on the condo, and then the storage unit at Grey Construction. Unless she steals half of my shoes, she's worth every penny we pay her. Mia, do you know someone?"
"I'll find someone for you," she promised. "I'll start looking on Monday and try to have someone vetted before the weekend."
"We need a cook/housekeeper too," Kate whined. "I don't cook, Elliot doesn't clean. The temporary staff is only available until the end of the month. I ordered bed and bath linens from Amazon, along with kitchen items. Security says there's a plethora of boxes at the condo. Who wants to come home with me and open boxes?"
"Don't look at me," I shake my hands at shoulder level and back away. "I'm just barely organized myself. I'm not shopping or sorting purchases with anyone for any reason. I'm not desperate for company. I need to spend time prepping for my new…"
"You must be desperate for news about Baby Bird if you are hanging out with his mother and sister. Trust me, don't depend on the Grey family to save your ass or make you happy. They fuck up everyone's life," Jack Hyde set his empty scotch glass down. Obviously, he drank his lunch again today, slurring his words.
"Baby bird…" Grace's voice dropped to a disturbingly low octave…lower than a mother bear growl…and higher than a Klingon war cry. "Baby bird…" her voice shrieked this time…higher than the whine of an overheated engine… sharper and more annoying than a smoke alarm.
Sawyer stepped up to her. "Dr. T., is this man bothering you?"
"YES," Grace's voice hissed like she was speaking Parseltongue. "Remove him…and notify security if you need help."
Sawyer dragged Hyde away from the table by the arm and the back of the neck. Hyde shouted profanities at Sawyer and struggled to get away, but he was too buzzed to escape.
Grace glared at me. "How long have you known that man?"
"He's my ex-boss." I admitted. "Hyde was fired from Grey Publishing on Tuesday, along with his friend, Elizabeth Morgan, the HR Director, and his support staff, Lauren Hudson."
"Lauren Hudson, the good friend of Olivia Blandino, the senator's daughter?" Grace was shocked. "Olivia Blandino who was fired on Tuesday by Christian?"
"How did you know?" I shouldn't be surprised by this six degrees of Christian Grey, but I am.
"Lauren was introduced to me by Elena Lincoln," Grace's eyes narrowed. "Elena recommended Olivia and Lauren work on the Coping Together gala. Well, now I know who to cut from the committees. I'll ask who uses Esclava Salons or who socializes with Elena. They'll be turfed before the committee convenes."
"We'll help with Coping Together," Kate asserted, staring at me until I nodded.
Sawyer returned to the table. "He just left."
"You have his license plate number?" Grace inquired.
"Yes," Sawyer already sent a description of Hyde's car and plates to Grey Security.
"Call the police and report a drunk driver." Grace ordered.
"He lives near Pike Place Market. I don't know where," I offered.
"I do," Sawyer said, reaching for his phone. He called the police and reported a drunk driver just left Elliott Bay Brewery and Pub. He described Hyde's car and the direction he was headed. When Sawyer ended the call, he asked Grace what Hyde said to them. Once she repeated the conversation, Sawyer stared at her. "Baby Bird? You're sure he said Baby Bird?"
"Yes, Christian's foster mother in Detroit gave him the nickname. He had a favorite book she read to him at bedtime." Grace explained.
"Mr. Grey received a threatening note before his helicopter crashed. The note called him Baby Bird. We never asked him about the note because we get hundreds of weird letters and emails for him every month." Sawyer stated. "Before the crash, we shredded and incinerated threats after scanning them to our server. Since the crash, Security been fingerprinting all letters and messages, trying to find a match to the partial fingerprint we found in the engine compartment." Sawyer caught a look on my face. "What?"
I pointed at the glass. "Hyde's fingerprints are on the glass."
"Damn!" Sawyer swore, loudly. Again, everyone in the pub stared at us. I thought I saw several cell phones taping us. I thanked God for the personal audio jammer which Harley gave me. I'm using a lot of rechargeable batteries, but I feel more comfortable when I keep the jammer activated.
Grace calmly reached into her purse and pulled out a pair of latex gloves. She slid them on quickly and carefully positioned her fingers inside the glass, lifting the glass off the table. She wrapped her left thumb and forefinger around the base of the glass. She poured the ice cubes on her plate, dropping the glass inside the plastic Ziploc bag which held the gloves. She sealed and handed the bag off to Sawyer. "Where is Christian?"
"His home office," Sawyer replied. "He had an appointment with Bastille this morning, but he's at Escala."
"Explain his father and I are coming over. Do not tell him anything which transpired in the last thirty minutes, understand?" Grace ordered.
"Understood Dr. T." Sawyer responded.
"Give the glass to Welch. Tell him to check for fingerprints and DNA if possible. Kate and Ana, we had a lovely lunch, but there's a situation…" Grace texted Carrick.
"Miss Steele, I need you to go with Miss Kavanagh to her condo. Until Jack Hyde is behind bars…" Sawyer started to order me.
"Not just no, but hell no," I snapped.
"Either you go with Miss K, or I will Taser you, throw you over my shoulder and take you to Escala." Sawyer threatened me. "Then I'll call your father and tell him what I did and why."
"Sheer force does not always win the battle. Think before you threaten me next time. I'm not being bitchy; I'm explaining why I'm not following your orders. I'm not going anywhere near Pike Place Market in case Hyde is still driving around. Kate and Mia can hang out at my condo. You may stand guard outside the condo. I recommend you accept my offer." I pushed my uneaten food away, and threw a $20 bill on the table. Great…now I get to tell Mary why I didn't eat a healthy lunch and ate ice cream instead.
"I already paid for your lunch," Sawyer tried to hand the $20 back to me.
"I left a tip for our waitress who's standing behind you, trying not to listen to our conversation. We've gathered enough attention for the day. Let's get out of here and let the girl do her job." I found my car keys. "Come on Kate. Come on Mia. I've got cheesecake ice cream in the freezer and Project Runway on streaming video."
"Do you want me to send Elliot to Escala when he gets home from paintball?" Kate asked Grace.
"No, this will be a difficult conversation between Christian, Carrick, Flynn and I along with Christian's security. I've asked Carrick to bring something from our home and meet me at Escala." Grace's answer is nebulous.
"When the coast is clear, I need to go to Grey Annex and do some work." Mia explained to Sawyer.
XXX – CPOV
Mom explained Jack Hyde came over to the table at the pub today. He was drunk and called me Baby Bird. She explained I was placed in a foster home in Detroit for a three-month period after Ella died, and before the adoption was finalized. She and Dad were already approved to adopt by the State of Michigan because of Elliot. However, the wait was required by law to see if I had any living relatives who wanted to claim me. "Baby Bird is a name from a kid's book, Christian. The Colliers owned the book which was called…Are You My Mother?" Mom explained.
"I thought I didn't remember anything from that time…but I remember Mrs. Collier read the book to me. I remember the food. Mrs. Collier was an excellent cook and caring foster mother." I am proud I have a few non-painful memories from a murky time in my life.
"We have two pictures," Dad handed over photos.
The first photo is of a shabby white house with a cheerful yellow front door and a large gabled window in the roof. The ordinary, unremarkable house has a porch and a small front yard. The second photo is of a blue-collar family…a man and his wife and four children.
The adults are both dressed in blue T-shirts and jeans. They appear to be in their forties. The woman has a blonde ponytail, and the man has a severe buzz-cut. However, they both smile warmly at the camera. The man has hands draped over the shoulders of two boys. They are sandy blonde haired identical twins, about twelve years old. Both grin broadly at the camera. I recognize the small, redheaded boy, who scowls at the camera…Jack Hyde. Standing, almost hiding behind Mrs. Collier, is a copper-haired, gray-eyed little boy. The picture captured him, wide-eyed and scared, dressed in mismatched clothes and clutching a child's dirty blanket. Fuck. I was four when Ella died, but I look much younger in this picture.
"I never wanted you to see that picture," Mom lamented.
"Is Hyde in this picture?" Welch examined the pictures I handed him.
"Yes, he's the redhead." Dad replied.
"John Thomas Hyde's mother was an alcoholic who had her parental rights revoked. The Colliers were the third foster home for him in 1988. He was eight when Christian was four." Welch reported. "Would he sabotage your helicopter because the Greys adopted you instead of him?"
"Who knows?" I know my tone is bitter. "Did he know I was seeing Ana before her job interview with SIP? Did he plan to hurt her in order to punish me?"
"We believe so. Barney found the WSUV picture on Hyde's standalone drive in a file marked Ana. He had pictures of her from Coping Together with Ethan Kavanagh, from the GP Open House, and from Safe Streets. He had the Seattle Times news article Kate wrote about their Christmas tea. He had a copy of Ana's request for leave the day after your helicopter crashed along with a newspaper report of the accident. Barney tracked his phone history and knows he called Miss Steele extremely late the night you went missing."
I stared at Welch in astonishment.
"I suspect Ray Steele's presence at Ana's condo kept Hyde away from her. We found a rough draft of Ana's employee evaluations. Each was rated Does Not Meet Expectations, and recommended termination. The thirty-day evaluation was changed due to Ana's request for a review of the evaluation. Roach attended Ana's ninety-day employee evaluation, which was changed. Ros inadvertently attended the one-hundred-and-eighty-day employee evaluation. The review was overturned, resulting in Ana's job change. The Editorial Reader position pulled her out of Hyde's clutches and had Ros championing her. Given her resemblance to other interns he had…and given his history with other interns…we think he planned to assault her…as a way of hurting you." Welch opined.
"Since we know he originated in Detroit and graduated from high school in Chicago, we can get more background on him. We know Hyde came to Seattle over five years ago. He was working for a publishing house on the East Coast before he was poached by Jerald Roach to work for SIP. I believe he probably took the job with SIP in Seattle after he learned the Grey family lived here. I believe he searched for information on your family – where you were vulnerable, etc. However, you were a multi-millionaire by then and had security teams in place for you and your family. We won't know until Barney finishes his analysis of Hyde's home computer."
"These are your adoption papers," Dad handed a folder to me.
I examine the paperwork in detail. Christian McGregor Crawford, born June 18, 1984 at the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit to Ella Anne Crawford. No father listed. First pregnancy for mother, age 20. Occupation, student. Ella's death certificate is dated July 10, 1988. She was 24, born May 1, 1965 in Indianapolis, Indiana. All information regarding Ella's background was provided by the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services. On September 15, 1988, Christian McGregor Crawford legally became Christian Trevelyan Grey, adopted by Carrick James Grey and Grace Gabrielle Trevelyan Grey.
McGregor? 'Not now Maggot,' Ella said. I wonder if McGregor was my biological father's last name. McGregor might explain why I'm a redhead while Ella was a brunette.
Dad handed over a copy of the police jacket for Ella. Arrested once for solicitation when I was eighteen months old, Ella Anne Crawford was sentenced to one hundred and twenty hours of community service at the local Catholic thrift store and food bank. Her arrest report shows a petite brunette with long hair. The picture was obviously taken before Ella became a drug addict. Her eyes are bright and she appears healthy.
As part of her sentence, Ella was required to present a health report to the court before thirty days elapsed. Ella was tested for STDs and I was given my immunizations at a free clinic in Detroit. Ella's caseworker included a snapshot of me at the age of two, and noted I was small and shy. I'm wearing clean jeans without holes and a clean navy-blue hooded sweatshirt. I'm clutching the green car. Other than the caseworker's notes, there was minimal medical history for me after I was two.
"You remember so much of your life with your birth mother. Those memories are the basis of your night terrors," Dad explained. "I wish you didn't remember some of the things you do. The pictures taken when you were found with Ella were expunged from the information we kept."
"I remember good things…Ella baking a chocolate cake and singing...Ella making waffles and bacon for breakfast…Mom smelling like cookies and letting me listen to her heart with the stethoscope…Mom teaching me to decorate the Christmas tree…apple picking with Grandpa Theo…Dad reading books to Elliot and me and doing all the voices…Dad teaching me to swim…and Mia. This may be where I started," I indicated the folders and pictures. "However, this will not end me."
First thing Monday, I'm arranging another food and essential supplies drop for Darfur. The second thing I'm doing is hiring anyone Barney wants to help him analyze Hyde and Morgan computers. Hell, I will hire an entire college of computer geeks if he wants them. Welch can hire an army of investigators. I want some answers. I'm accessing Amazon and purchasing a dozen sets of cars which have a green one. And multiple copies of the book…and footed pajamas…and several doctor's play kits…and baby blankets. I will donate everything to charity also. My life was blessed by Grace and Carrick Grey.
"We have to talk," I segue into the next topic we must discuss. "GEH has Jack Hyde, Elena Lincoln and SEC issues." I tell them about the SEC arrests on December 29, everything Ana told Elliot, information Barney found on our servers at Grey House and Grey Publishing, and firing Senator Blandino's daughter and her friend. I explain Elena's arrest for breaking her no-contact order, the IRS seizing Elena's assets, and her removal to Lawrence Lincoln's pool house. I relate the possible investigation of me, my family, my companies, etc. Needless to say…my family and my security team are not happy campers.
January 9 – CPOV
Welch and Taylor guarded doors to my conference room so no one could enter or leave. "Here is our proof Jack Hyde gleaned proprietary information by hacking emails at SIP/GP for the last two years – much longer than Miss Steele's employment period." Barney presented a carefully prepared report to the SEC investigators. Hyde realized a sizeable profit from hacking Morgan's emails from GEH HR. "We have proof Hyde was hacking not only Miss Steele's email, but the email of almost everyone in the building. We have proof he tried to hack the GEH server." Barney explained. "Everyone's email passwords should have been saved by IT only, but Elizabeth Morgan requested everyone in GP give her their user name and password in case of emergency. She put the request on GEH letterhead. We're sure Hyde suggested this hack to her, so he could access the information she gathered."
"Can we charge Morgan as an accessory for invasion of privacy?" Ros wrote notes during the presentation.
"Probably not," Barney opined. "There's no expectations of privacy when you use company servers and emails. A knowledgeable lawyer would get the invasion of privacy charge reduced or tossed. However, there's the matter of Morgan obtaining the information from everyone and leaving the information where Jack Hyde had access. I think aiding and abetting would be viable."
"Despite Hyde's allegations, we know the extent of Ana Steele's involvement," the lead SEC agent informed Christian, Ros and Barney about the history of Ana and Ethan's involvement with Harrison. "Miss Steele and Mr. Kavanagh suspected Hyde of using proprietary information to realize a profit off mergers and acquisitions. Hyde discussed stocks with Harrison each time they met. Once Harrison knew the name of Hyde's stockbroker, we checked Hyde's stock purchases and sales."
I listened to the conversation, but my head was elsewhere. Elsewhere…as in throwing Harley Harrison down an elevator shaft for touching Ana. After bouncing him off the bumper of one of my SUVs. After inviting him to work out at Grey House gym and then kickboxing the shit out of him. Barney informed me Harley was gay…but I always wondered what Ana was doing with him until the SEC arrests. I saw the pictures of them dancing together at the White Christmas Gala. I saw pictures of him buying her drinks. I saw the pictures of them holding hands when they arrived and left the party. My security was in full force that night, but they didn't know about the partner in the suite. Well, WTF…I gave Taylor a look…and Taylor sent the look right back to me. Obviously, the partner in the suite was news to him too.
"We have proof Elena Lincoln committed securities fraud from July 2006 through December 2011. After visiting your family or working a charity event, Elena Lincoln purchased stock in companies she heard might be acquired by GEH. After Mr. Grey terminated his business relationship with Elena Lincoln in September 2011, Olivia Blandino provided information about who you were meeting with when she visited Esclava Salons," the lead SEC agent revealed. "Elena Lincoln purchased stocks under her maiden name, Elena Loren. Her birth name was Magdalena Lorenzo."
"The interesting thing is," Harley Harrison ignored the looks which passed between Welch and Taylor. "We investigated GEH, its subsidiaries and employees, the Grey family, the Bailey family, the Kavanagh family and the Steele family. None of you invested in companies acquired by GEH. After GEH acquisition, the stocks which came with the company were transferred into GEH holdings."
Ros laughed. "That's good to know; considering all our hard work on mergers and acquisitions. It would be sad to know someone close to us was getting rich without putting in the work."
I chuckled and shook my head at her. "So, now what are we supposed to do with the information you've given us?"
"Nothing. There will be no further investigation into GEH. SEC froze Hyde's and Lincoln's brokerage accounts. Funds in those accounts will pay for expenses incurred during the investigation." Harrison revealed. "Hyde and Lincoln's brokerage firms are still under investigation. The GEH brokerage firm may be called to testify during Hyde and Lincoln's trials. We're still investigating Blandino and Hudson. They will probably be charged with insider trading, but given the opportunity for immunity if they testify against Lincoln and Hyde. Morgan was not involved in the stock purchases, other than bankrolling Hyde's purchases. We've frozen her accounts until we can determine if she just loaned Hyde money, or if she received a profit from his investments also."
"For obvious reasons," Harrison interjected at this time, "we believe Miss Steele needs a bodyguard until we resolve this situation. We are not telling anyone she was one of our informants, but given Hyde's and Lincoln's previous history – we don't want her threatened, assaulted, etc."
"I'll take care of that," Ros announced.
January 10 – APOV
I froze when I stepped into the Capital Grille with Harley and Shawn. Christian stood upon our arrival. Ros was seated. Taylor and an unknown man hovered nearby.
"Harley, if you ever try to set me up again, our friendship is over," I warned him…with a faux scary smile on the side.
"We're having lunch with Grey and Bailey because there are issues to discuss." Harley stated. "I thought you said you would be willing to date him."
"I didn't know there was an agenda for today's lunch." I feel uncomfortable. I'd better order light so Christian won't nag at me about eating.
We head for the table where Christian and Ros sit on one side, leaving the other side for Harley, Shawn and me…is the line drawn? Is this a combative lunch? Taylor's eyes narrow when he sees Shawn and Harley flanking me. Shawn holds my chair.
We're all subdued while ordering. Harley, Shawn and I noticeably shut off our cell phones and put them away. Christian and Ros follow suit. Harley activates a device from his pocket. "Audio jammer, no one in the restaurant can use a directional mike and discover what we are discussing."
"Is it true you worked with Harrison to bring down Lincoln and Hyde?" Christian began the conversation.
"I cannot discuss the situation until the cases are resolved." I blithely reply.
"How did you know?" Ros inquired.
"Intuition?" I shrugged. "Hyde was too nosy about Christian's business. Lincoln overheard something I said to Sawyer. I believed Lincoln used conversations she heard to serve her own interests."
"While I don't approve of you working with the SEC to bring down Hyde and Lincoln…I appreciate your faith I was not involved." Christian's comment was almost a thank you.
"I knew you weren't involved. My major hurdle was convincing the rest of the world." I wish I had prepared myself for this inquisition. Mary and I will have a conversation.
"Dad informed me Hyde pled guilty to drunk driving this morning. Since this was his first offense, he was sentenced to ninety days in the King County Jail. With good time served, he could be released around Easter. His landlord notified the court Elizabeth Morgan is emptying his condo into her garage until he is released. She paid the impound fees for his car, which is now at her home."
"Is there a reason he didn't make bail or go to a twenty-eight-day detox?" Ros inquired.
"Hyde cited the SEC freeze on his funds. Jail for ninety days is cheaper than a twenty-eight-day detox. He also has time to create issues and alibis." Harley replied.
Christian cleared his throat. "Lincoln pled guilty to misdemeanor violation of her no-contact order with me. She's been given one-hundred-and-eighty-days of house arrest wearing an ankle monitor. The IRS seized Elena's assets – personal property, house, businesses, bank accounts, etc. They froze her offshore account and are in the process of closing the account and returning the funds to the U.S."
"Since Lincoln's not working and has time on her hands, do I need to worry about her harassing me?" Anxious Ana just reared her ugly head.
Harley spoke up, "The SEC wanted to secure no-contact orders for you against Lincoln and Hyde…however, Hyde, Morgan, Blandino and Hudson were served no-contact orders January third for Grey House, Grey Publishing, GEH employees, Grey family, etc. Citing Elliot and Kate's engagement as the reason, the judge signed off on no-contact orders for you, Kate, your condos, your jobs, Ray, his home, his business, Ethan, Kate's parents' house and their businesses."
"Lincoln already received no-contact orders for the Grey family, businesses, etc. in September." Christian noted. Taylor handed me two sets of paperwork. "One set for you. One set for Ray. Carry your paperwork at all times. The judge recommended scanning and uploading the paperwork into your phone. In case you don't have the paperwork on you, you have an electronic copy." Christian recommended.
"Mrs. Lincoln is under monitored release, living in Lawrence Lincoln's pool house until she goes to trial with the SEC and the IRS." Taylor explained. "Mr. Lincoln isn't letting anyone on his property to visit her…she must go out to meet them. She's been allowed a diameter of fifteen miles around Lincoln's home to run personal errands, see her doctor, visit her lawyer, go get a hamburger, etc. The court granted her $50K to live on until she goes to trial. Assets have been seized. She is barred from her home and the salons. The chain has been put into receivership."
"Wow, eight thousand plus change to live on for six months…nice gig when you are only paying for food and personal necessities."
"Her lawyer will probably charge $50K to represent her." Christian mildly chided.
"I need to know this because?" Nice Ana is kicking my rude ass.
"The issue is…the SEC wants you to have a bodyguard, Ana. They can't assign one to you. Christian says for privacy reasons, you don't want his men to follow you. I have bodyguards for Gwen and myself, which are not part of Grey House Security. They coordinate with Grey House Security, but they are not part of Grey House. As Christian's number two, I can't risk someone using me to get to him. I can't risk someone using Gwen to get to me. I have discussed this with my security staff. They are willing to provide security for you."
"Will they report my schedule to anyone? Who I talk to, where I go, etc.?" I ignore the frown on Christian's face. "I thought I had proven I could take care of myself."
"Therein lies the rub…if you and Christian decide to have a relationship…then you'll need the security. When Kate and Elliot's engagement is announced…she will need security. As you are a de facto little sister to both Kate and Elliot…you need security. If you go anywhere with them, your security coordinates with their security. Otherwise, if you decide to work out in your underwear and eat chocolate chip cookies for dinner…that's your business and no one will know better." Ros tried to smother a smile.
"I feel guilty having you provide security for me," I informed Ros.
"If anything happened because you endangered yourself by protecting Grey House, neither Christian nor I would be able to live with ourselves. Your safety is a top priority for us. You have at least four possible enemies right now – Blandino, Hudson, Hyde and Morgan. You need a security team." Ros insisted.
"I accept and thank you…as long as everyone understands I go where I want to go, see who I want to see, and I don't ask permission or forgiveness." I noted the collective sigh of relief from Christian, Ros, Shawn, Harley and Taylor. Jeez, am I that difficult?
The man with Taylor stepped forward and shook my hand and offered me a card. "My name is Heaton. I'm Ros's CPO. My partner, Edwards, is Gwen's CPO. This afternoon, I will bring your CPO over to Grey Publishing and introduce him to you."
"Her, I want a female CPO. I don't want a man to follow me to girly appointments or the gym. I'd prefer she was ex-military to make my father happy." I insist.
"Done…I just hired Samantha Prescott. She was employed by Grey Annex Security. When Ros explained I might provide security for you, I hired new staff. Prescott is one of them."
"Are we finished?" I checked my watch. "I need to return to work."
"We're done," Ros checked her watch also. "Robb Loeder and Jerald Roach know you were in conference with the SEC and Grey House. They understand you will return when you can."
Christian stood and moved around to my chair. He pulled my chair out and helped me to my feet. Harley and Shawn held their breath, in case they had to intervene. Taylor tensed, uneasy about the situation.
Christian took my hands, my left one clasped in his, was behind my back in a flash, holding me against his hard body. The right hand was clasped in his, and held solidly against my thigh. "Thank you, Ana," Christian kissed my cheek, chuckling at my intense blush. He leaned in to whisper directly in my ear. His hot breath sent a shiver down my spine. "The next time you endanger your life…I will spank your ass…punishment not pleasure." He smirked, pulled my hands to his lips, kissed them and left, followed by Taylor.
My knees gave out and I sank down into my chair. Christ…is our…what the hell was that …going viral? I swear to god the room silenced when he pulled me from my chair. The background buzz returned to the room.
"Harley, I love you…but if that man ever kissed me…I'd throw you over in a heartbeat." Shawn declared.
"Shawn, I love you…but that man has come fuck me eyes…I'd have lunch with him any day he was willing to be dessert." Harley retorted.
"TDMI," Ros snapped at both of them, noting Heaton stepped out of hearing range of the table. Poor man. Poor Ros!
"Grey must have screwed up really bad if you don't want anything to do with him. Give him a chance Ana, bad boys can be fun too." Shawn laughed.
"What do you know about being a bad boy?" Harley teased his lover.
"I didn't say I was a bad boy, I said bad boys can be fun too," Shawn winked at Harley.
"Gah…get a room!" I suggested.
"Last time we did …you were in the spare bedroom!" Shawn reminded me.
Ros shook her head at me, smothering a laugh.
XXX
"Hello again, Miss Steele," Prescott appeared in the doorway to my office.
"Ana, I prefer Ana. Please come in and close the door. I don't want the universe eavesdropping on our conversation. This is my schedule. You don't come inside my office, any bathroom or my condo unless there is eminent danger. I drive to Dad's house in Montesano. You may follow, but you do not drive me or enter Dad's home or business while I am there unless there is an emergency. You may accompany me on a plane to see Mom, but you do not drive us, or enter her home. I don't want Mom treating you like her own personal driver and staff, which she would if given the chance. She'd have you drive her to her club, and open doors for her just to impress her friends." I pause and shake my head.
"You may transport me to and from work and appointments as long as you park in my space at the condo and work. You don't enter exam rooms while I have doctor appointments. Additionally, you don't veto where I go. You don't interfere when I choose to target practice. You don't interrogate my guests, nor do you frisk them. You do not share my schedule with anyone. When I have support staff at GP, you will work with that person. You may examine work mail, email and phone messages. My personal mail, emails and personal phone calls are not under your purview."
"Acceptable as long as I get two hours of your time to teach you security protocols," Prescott agreed.
"Acceptable," I countered. "I won't make your job a miserable living hell if you don't make my life a walking prison."
XXX
"Merry Belated Christmas." Mary handed me a package after we ate really good Chinese Five Spice Shrimp and vegetables.
"A journal?" I unwrapped a navy-blue leather cover for a yearlong journal. The journal's 365 pages are made of excellent paper and accompanied by a smear-proof blue pen.
"A retro-styled, self-actualization, goal-planning tool," Mary laughed. "Yes, a journal. When you are overthinking issues, purge your brain by writing them down. When you see your thoughts written down – one item to a page – then you can begin a logical process of dealing with each one. I think you've been overwhelmed since Grey's accident and have few resolution options. You need to answer questions about your issues. Can you control it? Are you responsible for it? Can you change it? Can you change the way you deal with it?" She handed me the list of questions written on a bookmark made from white cardstock with a navy-blue silk tassel.
I tell Mary about SEC arrests, the firings at GP, my career changes in the last forty-five days, my bonus, and my updated budget. We talk about my new insurance. I explain about my new close protection officer who will act as driver and bodyguard. I explain about my new living arrangements. I explain about Dad's future living arrangements. Laura is teaching Dad to cook, so my days of feeding his freezer have come to an end. In a way I'm saddened, because cooking helps me think and clear my brain. Mary suggests I make a list of friends and family. I can make them a take-and-bake lasagna for their birthdays. She also recommends dinner guests at least once a month to keep me active in the kitchen. She recommends salon/spa dates with Kate, consignment shopping and lunch with colleagues, and volunteering for charity events.
"Well, I brought you a present too," I handed off an envelope with a Happy New Year card in it.
"On site auto detailing," Mary smiled. "Thank you! I will save this for Easter when I can take a road trip with my husband. You remembered my wish list, thank you." She paused. "I'm concerned, because you started to deal with the mugging…and then dealing with the holidays and the stress. Now you've changed your lifestyle, have a new job…and now you have a close protection detail. We need to discuss…"
"I'm spending too much time second-guessing myself and living inside my own head. I had a bad experience with the mugging. However, I was blessed to not have permanent physical effects. I need to relax, organize my life, and work on feeling like myself again. Part of the issue with the new job is professionalism – looking my best, projecting a positive attitude, learning everything I can." I sighed again.
"Working with you, I identified some areas for us to address. We've concentrated on your eating, exercising and establishing a lifestyle which makes you feel comfortable. Now you have moved…which means thirty days of adjusting to a new schedule, new surroundings and a new job. Journal these issues…and then we'll work on your relationships, your self-awareness, your self-confidence, and your self-improvement." Mary consulted her notes. "I recommend you invest in a living will, a power of attorney and a health-care directive. I would use someone in Family Law in your hometown. I don't recommend using someone in Seattle. Your privacy should be foremost."
"Dad has a lawyer in Montesano. He's very discreet." I assure her. "I'll contact him for an appointment the next time I go to Montesano. Or maybe I'll invite him to lunch here in Seattle."
"I recommend you join a yoga class for conditioning your body and for mental relaxation. There is an Introduction to Yoga retreat this weekend at the Bellevue Hyatt." Mary gave me a brochure. She explained self-care and gifting oneself. The registration fee covers accommodations, vegan gourmet meals, private tutoring sessions, meditative massages, in addition to the sale of clothes, DVDs and equipment I need if I continue yoga lessons.
"Yoga is a good idea, but there's more. I have twenty-ish weeks until my best friend's wedding. I need to learn to walk in high heels without wobbling like a colt on new legs. I need to learn how to do my own makeup so I know what the aestheticians are doing to my face the day of the wedding. I need to learn proper eating etiquette because I will be seated at the head table, next to the bride, which means hundreds of pictures. I don't want to embarrass her or me. I need to learn to dance in high heels so I can dance at Kate's wedding reception. I need to learn to speak confidently so I don't muddle through the maid of honor speech." I sighed.
"FYI – anxiety will make you weak-legged. Cassandra Collins works here at the center. She owns a side business where she coaches beauty pageant candidates, new executives, etc. She can help with everything you mentioned." Mary explained.
"Can you arrange a meeting?" I asked cautiously. "I need to know the details."
"You feel …" Mary hesitated.
"Uneasy, uncoordinated…" I admitted. "I don't like being the center of attention. Nor do I want to really be close to the center of attention."
Mary reached for her phone. "Cassie… Mary Bayer calling. I have a young woman, of whom I am very fond, who is in need of your specialized services." Mary paused. "She will be the maid of honor at a society wedding in June." She paused again. "Ana meets with me at 6:30 on Tuesdays. We normally have dinner with one another while we talk." She paused again. "We'll see you at seven in my office next Tuesday. Thanks Cassie." She wrote an appointment card for me. "You can research the web for a list of Cassie's courses. Make sure your schedule is updated when you see her. Oh…and don't bother to watch Miss Congeniality or Princess Diaries. Cassie works differently. Bring a pair of heels and a book with you next Tuesday. Regular sized book, not paperback, and not over an inch or two thick. The heels need to be two to four inches high."
"We've talked about your natural rhythms and your proposed schedule. Lunch hours are to recharge you. Exercise or meditate. Network with colleagues. Don't discuss work when you have lunch with coworkers. Step away from electronics and shut off work for sixty minutes."
I laugh and tell her about the lunch with Christian. I don't tell her about his threat, but I do tell her I got a kiss on my cheek and hands.
"I know," she showed me the Seattle Nooz article and viral video. Jeez…I'm going to be outed to the world faster than I wanted. Which reminds me, I add Kate posts on her Facebook page to page one of the journal. We must come to a meeting of the minds over her Facebook posts. I'm weary of Carla bashing me about Kate's unrestrained posts.
"I have another quote for you. If love was meant to come quick and easy, then it wouldn't be the hardest thing out there to find. Everything takes time and love is the number one thing that takes time." Mary smiled.
"That sounds better than the fortune cookie I got tonight. Accept defeat. It will make you stronger." I laughed.
Mary grimaced. "Ana, if you decide to reconcile with Christian there are issues to discuss. I strongly recommend you date for at least ninety days before you fall back into bed with him. While you don't regret losing your virginity to him, you claim your relationship was based on sex. You need to get to know one another. You need to learn how to date."
When I sigh, Mary smiles.
"You said he has issues. You said you have issues. Are you attracted to the idea of fixing him? Do you believe if you stay around, your love will conquer all, he will get better and will love you for fixing him?"
"Perhaps," I answered thoughtfully. He had a darkness…I wanted to bring him into the light.
"Do you think you have mistaken love with the appreciation of a sexual awakening?" Mary asked.
"I don't know, I never considered my thoughts." I shrugged. "What are your dating rules?" I asked, afraid to know, but ready to write them down in the journal so I don't forget.
"Christian has to ask in person or over the phone. No date requests via emails or texts. He pays for the date; which is held in public for a minimum of ninety to one-hundred-and-twenty minutes. No physical touching except holding hands, hugs and a chaste kiss at the end of the evening. Which means no falling into bed on the first date or subsequent dates. I don't recommend movies, because you're busy watching the movie and not talking. You have a date night at least once a week. You can have lunch or coffee three times a week. No more. You have to learn about one another which is only done by spending quality time with one another."
Will Christian be interested…especially if he has to abide by a stranger's rules for dating?
