Wounds to Bind Chapter 41 – "Sing with me and find the key."–Jumping Jack Flash
February 1 – APOV
I do 27 minutes of yoga when I return to my condo. I'm too anxious about tonight's date and I can't shut off my overthinking brain. I'm dressed casually in black jeans, blazer, boots and purse with a dove grey turtleneck sweater and ponytail. I have a packet of index cards in my purse which have a dozen questions. Christian arrives on time, kisses my cheek hello, and asks if I'm ready to go. He brought the R8. I remember the first car ride. I remember the coffee date…which wasn't a date…it was an interrogation. I remember the dinner…which wasn't a date. It was a business meeting where he offered electronics, vehicle, clothes, jewelry, and money in exchange for my body, for following his rules, for keeping my mouth shut and for keeping my hands off him. I remember soaring and breakfast which was our first real date, except he had to leave shortly after. I hope tonight goes better.
We arrive at Escala, and I'm freaked. Honestly…I'm freaked. Dinner at his penthouse is not public.
"Trust me?" Christian asked.
"I'm trying…" I will cut and run if we're going to his ivory palace.
"I think you'll like this." We're in the elevator, but we don't stop at the penthouse. We go to the roof. "Off to adventure," Christian escorts me to a helicopter. "Charlie Tango is still at Boeing Field. We don't want to start repairs on it yet. In the meantime, I'm renting a replacement helicopter. I thought I would take you on a night tour of Seattle. I thought we'd get some gourmet burgers on the way home."
"As long as you don't expect us to spend the night together, or have me make breakfast in the morning," I teased.
"A man can dream, Anastasia." Christian kissed me gently on the lips and helped me into the cockpit of the helicopter. "I'm looking forward to checking your harness."
The night tour was as impressive as the night Christian flew us from Portland to Seattle. Christian flew the shoreline of Puget Sound. I recognized the skyline which was visible from Alki Beach. Downtown Seattle along the waterfront and the Space Needle were impressive. Christian pointed out various sites before we returned to the helipad at Escala.
XXX
We're at a gourmet burger restaurant, which is surprising packed on a Wednesday night. We're in a secluded booth against a wall, which I appreciate. We're holding hands across the table when the waitress came 8 to take our order. I hesitate.
"What's the problem?" Christian inquired.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning on ordering…" I admitted.
"You thought I was ordering for us?" Christian's smile goes from boyish shy to full-blown, panty-busting smirk.
"Yes," I feel embarrassed.
"John claims that's controlling. He said you know how hungry you are and what you'd like to eat," Christian explained.
"Thank you, but…" I paused, trying to marshal my thoughts. "Sometimes it's annoying and sometimes it's…" I pause, not finding the right adjective.
"Sexy as hell?" His voice dropped into his sex-on-legs tone.
I nodded. "I'd like a large sparkling water with a lime twist."
Christian gave his order for a mug of beer and my water, telling the waitress we'd order when she returned. He explained this is one of Taylor's favorite places to eat.
We talk about the food offerings. Christian selects a third pound Angus burger with steak sauce, grilled onions and grilled mushrooms. I decide on the black bean burger topped with Monterey jack cheese with a grilled Ortega Chile and chipotle sauce. We'll share a large order of cracked black pepper steak fries.
My subconscious said, 'This is not the same Christian you fell in love with last June. Be careful! Take your time…'
I reached in my purse for the portable audio jammer Harley gave me. "Jammer. No one can hear what we say to one another. Cell phones are useless within 50 feet of us. No one can clone our phones. No one can scan our credit cards."
"Nice," Christian examines the jammer. "Taylor has a few of these too."
"Let's do a quick round of introductions," I suggest. "I'll say three things about me which have changed since we went our separate ways last June."
"Okay," he tilts his head and considers.
"I attended a yoga retreat over the holiday weekend. I start dance lessons for the wedding in April. I've been talking with a therapist since Charlie Tango crashed." I reveal three things which he probably already knows.
"Leila stole an apology letter I wrote you before she trashed the Audi. John believes she will be well enough to go home to Connecticut in May. She was in pain…emotional pain. She wanted me to take the bad pain away and replace it with good pain. John told her I ripped out the playroom and am not interested in contracting any submissives." Christian revealed more than three items. "He said once Leila realized she couldn't expect me to help her sublimate her pain…she started dealing with her situation."
"Really?" Self-preservation Ana is not convinced.
"Elliot converted my playroom into a large empty room with an attached ensuite. He thinks I plan to use it for a guest suite." Christian ran his thumb over my knuckles.
"That's a pity because we had a few good times in there before…" I paused.
"Ana … if I could go back and do it over again…I would never have let Elena touch me. I would never have punished you. I would have told you I love you first. I would have been the kind of man you deserve." Christian declared.
"You're not the same guy I met in May last year, are you?" Romantic Ana clamors to be heard.
"I hope not. I've spent a lot of money on therapy. I started Traumatic Touch Therapy three times. I am determined to make it through the program. I've been seeing John weekly." Christian shrugged.
"I know being in public will be difficult, because of who you are. However, if I'm willing to not be jealous and bitchy over women trying to get your attention, then you must be willing to show the world what I mean to you." Warrior Ana takes no shit…nor hostages.
"I've never done dates before, Ana. I don't want to be lousy at dating and have you walk away from me." Christian's voice revealed a spectrum of emotions tonight.
"Soaring…it was more. It was a date. You introduced me as your girlfriend. You have no idea what it meant to me." I watched Christian's face light up faster than the Savannah dawn that morning.
I'm not paying attention when the waitress returns…and I'm suddenly soaked in beer and lime water. The waitress tripped and our drinks flew all over me, the beer mug bounced off my right eye brow and the water glass bounced off my breasts. Beer splashes on my face and hair, dripping down onto my jacket. Water and ice cover my breasts and land in my lap.
Christian goes ballistic, screaming at our server.
I yell at him to shut up! Sheesh…I'm embarrassed enough at the situation without him compounding my misery by shouting and carrying on like a five-year-old. "SOMEONE just point me to the powder room!" Everyone in the place watches us. The jammer is destroyed and people videotape the situation.
The server leads me to the powder room. I'm trying to dry off. I'm soaked, cold and miserable. My sweater and jeans are wet. My bra and panties are wet…and I don't mean a good kind of wet either. I wash my hands and face, and try to dry my hair. I reach into my purse and get a handful of cold liquid. FMTT. I empty the contents of my purse into the sink. I dry off the contents and drop them back into the damp purse. I'm thankful my work and personal cell phone were in outside zippered pockets and did not get drenched. My no-contact paperwork was in an outside pocket and is intact also. Ice cubes from my water slid down into my boots along with some of the water. I'm uncomfortable and miserable. The stench of beer is overwhelming. I just want to leave quietly, without walking back through the dining room filled with overly-curious observers.
The hostess apologizes and offers to have the waitress pay for my cleaning bill. I can hear Christian shouting at the poor girl. I ask the hostess to bring her to the bathroom. She's weeping, apologetic and appalled at spilling on me.
I hand her a tissue. "It's alright," I feel surprisingly calm. "The place is packed, accidents happen. I'm uncoordinated also. I apologize, he's a little over the top, isn't he?"
"I need this job," she sobbed. "I'm trying to go to college during the day and I work here nights and weekends. I'm sorry, but I can't afford to replace your designer clothes. The woman at the table near your booth moved to get her purse. She jostled me and your drinks went flying."
"I don't want you to replace anything. Accidents happen. I'm not angry. Just take a deep breath and tell me how to get out of here without walking back through the dining room. I'll do my best to have his tech people keep the incident and him yelling at you from going viral. I won't post any rude or derogatory reviews either," I promised both ladies. They are both relieved. I'm thrilled when they show me a back way out of the restaurant. "Please wait fifteen minutes," I request. "If Mr. Grey asks…I'm in the bathroom trying to dry my clothes and hair using the hand dryer. If he demands reparations…tell him you discussed the situation with me, the injured party, and we arrived at a solution which suits all of us."
XXX – 3PPOV
"Let's exit when we can," Lauren Hudson's date suggested. "I don't want anyone thinking you deliberately bumped into the waitress."
"I think it's a good idea since we've finished our dinner," Lauren wanted to get home. Her date was disappointing. Tonight's date was someone she met through her temporary work, not one of Elena's dates. She was ready to go home and pop open a bottle of wine with Liv. Granted, the hamburgers in this place were fabulous, but no one would appreciate her little bump and dump as much as Liv would. She had to post on a social media page…no, Greywatch twitter! 'Christian Grey goes on a date…with an unknown brunette … who needs lessons in how to drink, not wear, her beer.' She wondered if the information was worth a bonus from Elena.
XXX – APOV
I tell the night concierge not to allow anyone up to my condo until eight o'clock tomorrow when my body guard arrives. I draw the drapes and dowse the lights in the condo except for the master bedroom and bath. The front door deadbolt and security chains are locked. I put my phones on the chargers, strip and take a hot shower. The purse is ruined, the boots are ruined. My blazer and sweater have to go to the cleaners. I put everything else in the washer. I'm sorry Christian, but I couldn't sit there – cold, wet, and smelly, pretending I'm having a good time.
I cry in the shower for our ruined date. I cry empathic tears for the poor waitress who worried about her livelihood. I've been there…working and attending classes. Hoping and praying I won't have a catastrophic which wipes out my bank accounts. I fume about the cab driver who charged me double to transport me home. He claimed he had to fumigate the beer smell before he could pick up another client. I am heartbroken over my ruined boots Laura gave me for Christmas. I dry my hair, braid it, put on comfortable pajamas and take a bottle of cold green tea to bed. The bedroom door is locked. It's lights out, alarm set, and I'm huddled under my covers, weeping because I'm such a chicken. I don't want the world to laugh at video of a drenched Anastasia Steele who is out on a date with gorgeous Christian Grey. He's right…it is a pretty face…but yelling at the server and hostess was beyond what I could handle tonight.
XXX – CPOV
I demanded the server be fired, but the hostess explained Miss Steele settled the situation to her satisfaction. When I ask where Miss Steele is, the hostess explains she's drying her clothes in the bathroom. Taylor grabbed me by the arm and hustled me out of the restaurant. He locks me in his SUV. He tells me to call Miss Steele to tell her I'm waiting outside for her and he's waiting inside for her. She's not answering her phone, which makes me think it was soaked during the incident. Taylor's text explains he paid for everyone's evening in exchange for them dumping videos and pictures off their cell phones. I email Barney to keep videos of Ana and me from going viral.
Fifteen minutes later I nag at Taylor to check on Ana. Taylor texts Miss Steele has gone home. I'm pissed. Why did she run away? I try to call her again, no answer. I EXITED THE SUV AND HURLED MY SMART PHONE AT A BRICK WALL OF THE PARKING GARAGE. God I love Taylor for teaching me how to throw a football.
When Taylor returns to the SUV, with parts of the smart phone in a baggie, he gives me another smart phone. I call, text, email – SHE DOESN'T ANSWER! I ordered Taylor to take me to her condo – against his recommendation. The concierge informs me she's in for the night and gave orders to deny everyone access to her condo. She does not wish to be disturbed. He informs me since Elliot no longer lives in the building, he's not required to put up with my attitude, yelling or swearing. I have 60 seconds to exit the building or he's calling the police and telling them I'm belligerent, combative and disturbing the peace.
"BELLIGERENT AND COMBATIVE – FUCKER, I WILL OWN THIS BUILDING TOMORROW AND YOU WILL BE FIRED." I shouted at him.
"Our security cameras run 24/7. Threaten me again, and I will call the police." The concierge warns me. "As far as I am concerned...you present a potential danger to Miss Steele. I will not allow you to badger or physically endanger her."
I storm back the SUV, trying to call Ana again – no answer. The smart phone makes the best smash sound I've heard in months. I get in the SUV and slam the door shut. Taylor exits the SUV with another baggie to retrieve parts. When he returns, he removes the SIM chip. Wordlessly he reaches into the console between the seats and removes another smart phone. He inserts the SIM chip, handing me the new smart phone. I try to call, text, and email – no answer. I'm pissed and swearing at the top of my lungs. Taylor advises I calm down – because he strongly feels this is the exact reason Miss Steele left the restaurant and is not talking to me.
We're at Escala, and I try to call again, she doesn't answer. I SMASHED MY THIRD SMART PHONE FOR THE NIGHT. Upstairs, Taylor says he'll give me another phone after I work off some aggression. I fire the fucker and he laughs. He sends Reynolds down to the parking garage to pick up phone parts and retrieve the R8 from the restaurant.
I'm pissed as hell and beat the fuck out of the kickboxing dummy. I pound on it until I'm exhausted and it's destroyed. After I take a shower, I call John…and I swear, scream and shout about Anastasia leaving without notice, without anyone to protect her, putting her life in danger…etc. Once I've vented, John reminds me…I will not spank or punish Ana when I see her. She's made it quite clear she will go where she wants, when she wants. Since she went home without telling me…she obviously didn't want to be around me while I'm having a meltdown. He reminds me of Sela's appointment on Friday and I can call any time.
"Explain why you are calling on the 'Grey House 15' phone," he intoned. "What happened to 12, 13 and 14?"
"Ana," I snapped.
"OH NO," John protested. "You're not blaming your meltdown on her. Analyze it, own it, deal with it. She obviously had triggers and you need to learn them."
I fire him and he laughs also. I'm careful not to throw the phone. I work in the office until almost two. I'm too tired to fight off sleep. I know I will have a night terror because I was so out of control tonight.
February 2 – APOV
I wrote Christian a thank you note for the date. I thank him for the tour, I loved the view of the city by night, especially the Space Needle and Union Lake. I explain I left because I was wet, smelly, cold and miserable. I could not face walking through the dining room to finish our date. I apologize for abandoning him. I would appreciate if he could keep videos of our date off the Internet. Sunday night we can talk about if we will continue to do this or not. I give the note to Prescott and ask her to deliver it to Grey House for Christian while I start my work day.
XXX – CPOV
I get a note from Anastasia, thanking me for the tour and explaining why she left. I don't want to wait until Sunday to see her, but John insists I give her space. I send a dozen white roses to her condo with a note saying I'm sorry our date ended so badly. I tell her I'm looking forward to seeing her on Sunday. Then I go down to the Grey House gym and run on the treadmill until Ros comes looking for me. We've half a dozen projects in various stages of planning and progress. I agree to meet after I've showered. Ros promises hot coffee and lunch.
February 3 – CPOV
Sela explained abdominal and lower back massages are given for various reasons. Some massages ease lower back pain. Some ease menstrual cramps. Some are for post-partum recovery. Some ease the pains of pregnancy. Some ease the pain of terminal illnesses. Sela's massage is to allow me to experience touch without stress. I'm wearing the torso bandage. Sela explains she will massage from the area under my ribs to my hipbones in front and from the bottom of my back ribs to the top of my lower lumbar region. She suggests we discuss the wedding while she massages. She activates a drop-down white board with notes.
"I've researched wedding websites and I called two wedding planners. You have best man responsibilities. You serve as the groom's personal aide before, during and after the wedding. I'm not concerned about handing him the ring. What concerns me is all the touching stuff and I don't mean the wedding toasts or the father-daughter dance. I mean the touchy-feely stuff. I know you don't want to go to some tux place at a mall and have unknown female sales associates pawing you. It's probably best if you have the men come to Escala. Arrange for Miles and his staff take measurements for the tuxes. Plus, discuss what the bride and groom plan for tuxes for everyone. You do not want to be stuck in light blue 1970s polyester leisure suits." Sela teased.
"Issue one – are you expected to be an usher in addition to your best man duties? It would be special for you to seat your grandmother and mother. I'm not worried about them touching you. It's possible female guests might get handsy with you when you show them to their seat. Does the bride have male cousins who would take on the task of usher? One of the wedding planners said to expect at least six ushers for 300 people." John noted.
"Wait a minute, Taylor!" When he runs in, alarmed, I apologize. I wave at the white board while talking to him. "Please take notes for me. We're working on wedding items at these Sunday night family dinners." Taylor photographs the white board. I quickly cover what Sela and John just said while he takes notes.
"Next issue – receiving line. Are you shaking hands with 300 people? Do you know the lineup for the receiving line? If not, you need to know who is to your left and who is to your right so you can have backup against women who throw themselves at you. I assume Jason isn't standing behind you with a gun during that part of the reception." Sela keep massaging after giving Taylor a smirk. "Another issue is the dancing at the wedding. Do you know the women in the wedding party?"
"My sister Mia is the bridesmaid, Ana is the maid of honor," I explain Kate's brother, Ethan is the groomsman.
"Really?" John's eyes lit up.
"Issues with Ana?" Sela frowned.
"She's the woman he wants in his life," John answered. "They had a date Wednesday night. It didn't end well."
"Have you danced with Ana before?" Sela checks her list of questions.
"Yes, and we dance well together. I'm not worried about dancing with her. I'm worried about dancing with the females in Kate's family."
"Okay, we'll address that." Sela looked at the list on her whiteboard. "You'll be in charge of organizing the bachelor party. I assume you won't be having a stripper fawn all over the men at the bachelor party."
"You assume correctly," I laughed. "I don't know what we're going to do yet, and I'm not sure how many men. I really want to have a bachelor party with just the wedding party. Elliot can have the drunk debacle with his employees sans me."
"Rehearsal should not be a problem. You'll go from the waiting area at the church to the foyer to seat your grandmother and mother. Then you'll walk into the sanctuary with Elliot. Depending on the service, you may conduct a reading. You'll hand over the ring, and sign the marriage certificate. When it is over, you'll walk up the aisle with Miss Ana on your arm. You need the picture schedule and where you will be standing. You should not stand with anyone who hasn't touched you before. You'll be in charge of the transportation of the groom to the church, the married couple to the reception and the married couple to wherever they are spending their honeymoon night. Your brother might want you to take them to the airport and pick them up when the honeymoon is over." John listed my duties.
"Rehearsal dinner shouldn't be a problem – again, it is the wedding party and family. Greetings and handshakes with the bride's family. I doubt if you will be expected to dance. As best man, you are responsible for corralling the groomsman and the ushers. You may be announced with the maid of honor when the reception begins. You'll be seated at the head table, which means learning the seating arrangements." Taylor read from Sela's board while she worked on me.
"The tough part is coming up," John predicted. "The dancing."
"You will probably dance with Ana, Mia, Kate, your mother and grandmother – possibly with your aunt. Are you expected to dance with the aunts, grandmothers and cousins on her side of the family? Personally, I think dance duty should be assigned to the ushers. They have no duties at the reception – other than not getting drunk and standing up for the garter toss." Taylor read and took notes for me.
"Generally, you will give the first toast at the reception. You decorate the getaway car. That becomes an issue if you have a bunch of his drunk buddies trying to help you. The other big task is coordinating the special, joint wedding gift from the wedding party to the bride and groom. Shop online if possible, not only for your ease in dealing with crowds, but to keep the gift silent. You don't want a sales associate informing the world you purchased Vera Wang china service for twelve."
Taylor smirked and averted his gaze, making sure he took notes.
"Then there are the parties," John explained. "There are planning dinners at your parents' house or Kate's parents' home. There will probably be couples' showers requiring your attendance. Confer with Elliot. Ensure there aren't any wild get-away weekends or dance parties planned."
"What's the schedule for the day of the wedding?" Sela segued into the next section.
"The day before the wedding Dad and Grandpa want to take Elliot out sailing, along with men from the wedding party and her family. I think the men are staying overnight at my parents' house. Mom's talking about a breakfast buffet. We dress there, and then are transported to the church." I explained. "The ladies are staying overnight at the bride's parents' house."
Taylor cleared his throat, "If there's a money dance, you start it by dancing with the bride while the maid of honor dances with the groom. I would coordinate the men dancing with Kate, and let Ana coordinate the women dancing with Elliot. Both of you are the master of ceremonies for the dance, keeping people in line and keeping the music going. When the reception is over, your next task is getting Elliot changed into his going away clothes. Then you get them into the decorated car and on their way. The Monday after the wedding, you ensure the tuxes are returned."
I sighed. "Can I bribe Elliot to elope?"
Taylor laughed. "You're already in trouble with the bride over that black eye. You'd better not offer Elliot money to elope."
"Black eye?" Sela quirked an eyebrow.
Damn. I have no secrets.
XXX – APOV
"Good evening," Cassie greeted six of us. "Thank you for being on time. We have a great deal to cover tonight. Let's begin. Tonight your current posture will be evaluated. I will teach you the top ten posture mistakes and how to correct them. Tonight you will learn to stand, walk and sit properly. Tomorrow I will teach you core exercises to improve your posture. Wear gym clothes. Ladies, bring heels for walking practice. Sunday I will teach you exercises to relieve stress in your upper body. I will teach you proper breathing. You will be tested on walking, standing, siting, entering and exiting a room, etc. Let's get started."
When I'm done with Cassie's class, I have Prescott take me home. We had a working dinner in my office, where she changed my Cassie appointments in my phone and her phone. I think she's as relieved as I am about the condensed classes. I'm thrilled to be behind closed doors without an audience. A hot shower, warm pajamas and a good book lull me into a deep slumber. Tomorrow is another day with Cassie.
February 4 – APOV
Up at six, breakfast and dressed in exercise clothes, tote with a skirt and heels for walking at Cassie's today. We practice core exercises for one hour. We practice walking properly for one hour. We practice sitting and rising properly for an hour. Additionally, Cassie teaches us how to open and close doors, how to enter and exit rooms, how to enter and exit vehicles, how to talk and NOT use our hands during conversations. I'm exhausted and want to go home but Prescott reminds me about lunch and Kate and Mia. She explains Taylor recommended we develop a code word for when I want to abandon ship.
Mia and Kate want to have pizza and girl talk at Kate's condo. It's a chance for us to discuss what happened on date night. There were some videos of it, but Christian and Barney squelched them quickly. I explained how embarrassed I was about the situation and Christian's yelling didn't help things. I thank both of them for their camaraderie, but I have to work through my issue with the stench of beer and my issues with Christian's yelling.
Kate gives me mail which came to the condo for me. I hand it off to Prescott in the hall. She and I can go over it later if there's anything I need to know. After we talk and eat pizza, Kate explains she and Elliot are going to a mandatory marriage class this afternoon with a dozen other couples. It's scheduled for the first Saturday of every month. Mia says Zumba kicked her butt this morning and she's not moving until she has to go to the club tonight. They are debuting a new menu and she promised to be there. I tell them I'm shopping for boots and purse via Amazon to replace my ruined ones. It was a low stress lunch and I appreciated it.
Prescott takes me grocery shopping. I try to release her from her duties, but she will only leave when I swear I am in the condo for the rest of the day. She reminds me she will return tomorrow morning to take me to class. My afternoon is spent cleaning the condo, doing laundry and marinating and freezing chicken breasts. I can grill them on the electric grill and toss a salad for dinners. I prep five containers of easy wraps and veggies with dip for lunches. I prepare five fruit, granola and yogurt parfaits for breakfasts.
I get out my journal and I journal Christian and my date. I journal the Cassie class. I journal the lunch with Kate and Mia. I pull out Mary's list of questions to answer for each issue and leave big red stars on items to consider or discuss with Mary.
Cassie gave us a list of You Tube videos to watch regarding posture, improving social skills, dating tips, communication skills, reading/understanding body language, speaking with confidence, dressing for success, building capsule wardrobes, etc. The problem is...we must view at least ten videos per week from her list. As proof we viewed the video, we must write down one tip we learned. While practicing my sitting and standing, I watch walking, standing, sitting videos...and I'm not happy. IMHO, the last six videos were repeats. I write one card with the six repeat video URLs. Cassie needs to know I wasted my time when viewing some of her selections. I make it through twenty videos for this week's class and sigh with relief when 'homework' is done. I want to soak in a tub of bubbles. This class was more physical than I planned.
XXX
"Submit," he whispered before he nipped my neck.
"Obey," he whispered and his hands found my breasts and cupped them.
"Surrender," he whispered as one hand slid down into my panties.
"Yield," he said, turning me to his chest and sitting me on his lap. "Hands behind your back, box position." His left hand reached for my right hand, his right hand reached for my left. "Close your eyes." He pulled me close, my hands clasped in his. His mouth eagerly sought my nipples and he licked, sucked and nipped them, making me so wet.
"I want you now. Don't move your arms." He lifted me and impaled my sex with his hard cock. "Rock back and forth on me, baby." His hands found mine again, his mouth suckled my breasts eagerly. I rode him harder and harder, taking him as deep as possible. I'm so close to coming…I moan, and bite my lip so I don't speak. "Oh fuck," he said, biting down on my left nipple….
I shout my release…and realize I just had a very intense release from a Christian Grey wet dream. I'm glad for the extra insulation in the condo which keeps me from disturbing the neighbors when I shout. I'm also thankful my bedroom is the corner of the building where there is no one left, right or above me.
XXX – CPOV
Kickboxing practice with Bastille, followed by running with Taylor. Ana's condo is dark. I smile, thinking of her soft and warm in her bed…her skin as silky soft as her new bed linens. Elliot has a mandatory pre-wedding course at St. James this afternoon, so there is no brother bonding rituals until tonight or tomorrow. Mom is working. Dad is having a quiet day. He's been out of town for three days, at a law conference in Aspen. Three of my Grey House legal team have been at the same conference, one covering HR issues, one covering technology law issues, and one covering ethics for in-house legal counsel. I flew them to and from Aspen in the Grey House jet. Grandpa Theo and Grandma Frannie are visiting Uncle Ben and Aunt Rachel. I feel at loose ends. I shower while Taylor makes us breakfast and coffee. He goes off to do his thing; I head to the office to do mine. I can tell from the look of misery on his face. he'd rather spend the weekend with Gail. I understand because God knows I want to spend the weekend with Anastasia…wrapped around her, buried in her, sleeping with her, eating her pancakes…kissing those pouty lips, smelling her sweet hair…but, it's just Grey House to keep me company.
I've brainstormed items to research. I'm barely done making new folders of research ideas when Taylor brings me a sub sandwich – shredded teriyaki chicken on a hoagie roll with shredded lettuce and sliced tomato, mandarin orange segments and pineapple tidbits salad, and a large carafe of iced coffee.
"Lunch," he announces. "I've cleaned the panic room, backed up the servers and cleaned weapons. I need to go to the firing range this afternoon and qualify. I'll prep and clean the fleet too. Reynolds will be here until I return."
"I'll be here working on two tech proposals. Maybe Reynolds and I will go for a run before dinner." I propose.
"Should I bring barbeque back with me? There's good football on Pay-Per-View. I thought I'd send a general announcement to Elliot, Sawyer, Reynolds, Ryan and Graham, the new day-shift supervisor from Grey Annex. I can invite Barney, Fred and Welch, Sam from PR and Skyler from Social Media."
"Man-cave night?" I asked, Taylor nodded. "Invite John, Dad and his CPO, and Ros's PA, Andrew. Better get barbeque to feed a hearty three dozen." I apply myself to my sub sandwich…trying not to think of weekends when sub meant something other than a sandwich.
XXX
I look up from working in my home office…and I am alone. I'm working in my office at Grey House…and I am alone. I'm working in my office on the jet… and ring for Natalia to bring me a drink…but I am alone. I check the cockpit…and the jet is cruising at 30,000 feet… flying on autopilot. I'm walking in the woods where Elliot and I mountain bike…and I am alone. I'm running along a long stretch of beach…and I am alone. I'm searching Mom and Dad's house…and I am alone. I'm in our old apartment from when I was four…Mommy is so quiet. I'm overwhelmed by an ominous dark feeling…rising from my chest…strangling my throat.
I wake up with a start…what the fuck was that about? Did I wake before it became a full blown night terror? I can't remember ever waking myself from a night terror without struggling to breathe, my heart racing, my skin soaked with sweat. I reach for my phone and send a text to John. I know it we'll discuss it, so I try to include all the details I can remember.
