Wounds to Bind Chapter 45 – "When you don't talk, there's a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said." –Catherine Gilbert Murdock, Dairy Queen

Saturday, February 18 – APOV

I leave Dad, Laura and José to their own devises. I explain I have a business class I can't miss. I dress in dark skinny jeans, a navy turtleneck sweater, a navy boyfriend jacket and navy ankle boots. Laura angel braids my hair for me and finishes it off with a silver barrette. She promises to teach me how to do it. I throw my loaded wristlet and a pair of heels into a navy leather tote…just in case. Dad hands me a travel cup of tea and a brown bag breakfast for the road. He doesn't ask and José is too curious for words. Prescott has the weekend off because I have family in town. I'm glad because I don't want to field José's questions about her.

We work through four different kinds of introductions: casual, business, interview and social, like receiving lines. We learn the proper length of time for a handshake. We learn the rules of business introductions. They are supposed to make us comfortable speaking with one another at company meetings, workshops and dining events. I'm grateful for the end of the class. Cassie reminds us about our wardrobe binders. If we haven't looked at her notes yet, we'd better before the weekend is over. She hands back my selfie prints with copious notes on all of them.

Dad and Laura visited an estate sale and thrift stores today. I gave him the key to my storage area and encouraged him to use it if he finds more than he can take home in one trip. When I call Dad, he and Laura aren't done yet. They will eat lunch before they return. He says José is at Grey Construction, getting a tour of the facilities and three of their construction sites. He promises everyone will be back by four.

I go grocery shopping. I plan to batch cook this weekend to feed my freezer. There are things to be done. I can't practice yoga, walking or sitting, makeup or hairstyles while I have company without incurring questions I don't feel like answering. I need to be Ana 1.0…cooking and concentrating on family during my free time over the weekend. I think about when I will have weekends free again…will Christian and I soar…sail…dance?

"Welcome to your life…there's no turning back…" I turn on the oldies station in Seattle. Thanks to Mom, I've learned all the power ballads from the 80s. I can't carry a tune to sing for my supper, but no one is here and I can sing my lungs out. I unload groceries, putting things away. I need to take the two baskets for carrying supplies back to the car. Lita is due for a six month service.

"You know our love was meant to be…the kind of love that lasts forever…" I set out six loaves of frozen bread dough to thaw. One of my fun recipes is pizza pinwheels. It's very hands on. When the dough is thawed, I roll it into a flat rectangle, add marinara sauce and then set my guests free to sprinkle the dough with pepperoni bits, veggie bits, hamburger crumbles, Italian sausage crumbles, etc. Then we sprinkle mozzarella cheese on it, roll, slice and let the dough raise a little more before baking. What we don't eat this weekend, I'll split into three groups for José, Dad and me.

"Don't wish it away…don't look at it like it's forever…between you and me…I could almost have said things will only get better…" I release my angst over my classes by dicing veggies for Pizza Pinwheels, Minestrone Soup and Pepperoni Bubble Bread. I assemble everything for Minestrone Soup and get it bubbling merrily away in the crockpot. It becomes Survivor Soup when I add a large package of cheese tortellini to the soup during its last ten minutes. The extra pasta makes it a hearty soup. It's not one of José's favorites, but he will eat it without grumbling.

"Should I stay or should I go…One day is fine and next is black…Well come on an' let me know…Should I stay or should I go?"I make the Pepperoni Bubble Bread.It's like monkey bread. I cut eight tubes of large biscuits into sixths, toss them with marinara sauce, Italian seasoning, mini pepperoni, diced onions, diced green peppers and mozzarella cheese. I fill a sheet cake pan full of Pepperoni Bubble Bread and set it to bake. The smell is heavenly.

"Our love's in jeopardy, baby…it's the lightening, not the thunder…" Dad brought me the boxes of china, cutlery, glassware and table linens from his Grandma Steele. I unpack and clean everything, putting it away in the hutch. I can inventory it later to add to the rental insurance. He brought the last of my books and clothes from Montesano along with a footlocker of memorabilia. I dump the clothes in the washer, and store books and footlocker in the office. I start household chores, laundry and home dry-cleaning.

"When all this gets old…Will it still feel the same…There's no way this will die…" I email the recipes and directions for Survivor Soup, Pizza Pinwheels and Pepperoni Bubble Bread to Laura. I catch up on my emails, everyone had great pictures from karaoke night. I forward several to Kate, Harley and Christian. Several of my emails have a picture of Christian singing and include online links. The tabloids reported he kept people watching him while security removed his drunk sister from the premises. I've thought about it this weekend …and while I loved his voice and the fact he sang…it took all of my self-control not to rush the stage and jump his bones. I don't want to fall into bed with him…yet. We can't substitute sex…vanilla, kinky or otherwise…for conversation and getting to know one another.

Kate emails they're having a great time skiing. She suggests if I'm going to continue taking lessons…skiing should be the next on my list to master. She claims it's a lot more fun than yoga. 'Yeah, right!' Says the girl who tripped walking into Christian's office. Kate wears her Christmas gift and thanks me for it again. I email her pictures from last night and urge her to share them with everyone. I let her know I sent pictures to Mom, in case Kate wants to Facebook stuff.

XXX – CPOV

"Work time is over," Mom announced. "The staff left to complete tasks or they are off. The family is on the slopes. Close the laptop, turn the phone to vibrate. Taylor is walking the perimeter to keep everyone out of the house. Your father and I want to have a long overdue conversation with you. We wanted discuss the Elena situation…then Elliott and Kate had the accident. Then Charlie Tango crashed, then Ana was mugged…and suddenly we were into the holiday season where you've been more involved with the family than ever. Then Elliot and Kate got engaged. Then when we wanted to talk about the situation, Jack Hyde was arrested. So…here we are…Presidents Day weekend…having a conversation we should have had months ago."

Holy Fuck – questions? Dad's got a list. So does Mom. Should I ask if I should call or Skype John?

Forty minutes later, Dad is furious, Mom is tearful and I'm defensive. "So, until the SEC is done with Hyde and Lincoln, we're in freefall?" Dad yells.

"Not freefall but not home free either," I disagree. "Elena will be arrested. The Special Crimes Unit has proof of 200 counts of promoting prostitution."

Dad whistled, sinking back into his chair. His fury at the SEC dragging out the investigation wilted. "Grace – one count is a class B felony – equivalent of 10 years in prison and a $20K fine. If she's found guilty of 200 counts – that's 2000 years and $4 million." He looked at me. "How sure are you about the 200 counts?"

I explain about Taylor's friend who works for the SPD. We don't have a date when Elena will be arrested. I can't believe the SPD is still working on 225 warrants, plea deals and sorting evidence into case files.

Dad asks if I am 100% positive Elena doesn't have blackmail materials from our time together. I explain about Isaac and Taylor removing the blackmail materials from the house. Taylor destroyed them. Isaac mailed the madam materials to SPD once he was a safe distance from Seattle.

Mom goes ballistic, she wants to know where she went wrong…how could I be involved with Elena Lincoln. She wants guarantees our family will not be harmed when Elena's arrested. She wants guarantees this will not affect Elliot and Kate's wedding. She wants guarantees….and I can't give them to her. I can only assure her we have close protection details and no-contact orders.

Dad asks about Jack Hyde issues – with Ana's safety being first and foremost.

"Hyde's right index fingerprint is an eight-point match to the partial fingerprint left in the engine compartment of Charlie Tango. Taylor and Welch checked the security tapes for a full month before Charlie Tango was sabotaged. We have an unidentified figure getting into the hanger twice in the fortnight before the crash. Welch would feel better if we have something more to tie him to the sabotage." I explain.

"Then what will happen?" Mom asked.

"The NTSB is anxious to charge him with the attempted murder of Ros and me before he goes to trial for the SEC." Then I explain we're waiting for Hyde to be charged with at least twenty-eight counts of sexual assault against seven interns, and at least four dozen counts of invasion of privacy and cybercrimes. We have video proof of the sexual assaults. We have hardcopy and electronic proof of the invasion of privacy and cybercrimes.

Two hours later, we're emotionally exhausted and talked out. Dad and Mom plan to spend the evening in their suite. They don't want to be disturbed. I told them to call down to the kitchen when they want food and drink delivered to their room. I'm sure I will be the topic of discussion and I'll feel like a heel. I phone Taylor and ask him to let everyone back in the house, but I need food and coffee brought to my office. I will work until I'm exhausted and then head to bed.

Mia joins me. She wants to bounce some ideas off me and talk through some event issues. Kate is busy with wedding things and cannot work on Coping Together. Ana's busy with classes and the wedding, so she's not available to work right now on Coping Together either. 2012 Coping Together will be hold on Saturday, July 7. She suggests it be permanently moved to the second Saturday of July. She has downloads of the weather for the last 10 years. She has suggestions for new blood to invite to the event. She has wonderful ideas about the menu and wine tasting. She suggests ways to diversify and update the donation process…including a website. She shares the layout and ideas for it with me. I suggest sending Barney or an IT person to discuss it with her.

XXX – APOV

Everyone gathers in the kitchen and we finish making and baking pizza pinwheels. We eat dinner, talking and chatting about everything. Dad and Laura show me pictures of furniture which they bought. They bought several pieces of furniture which need love and refurbishing from the estate sale. They found two dozen ornate headboards and footboards at thrift stores to recreate into outdoor benches. Dad found a dozen large picture frames in need of reinforcement and refurbishing. I ask Dad to make a large tea tray for me from one of them.

I explain I have class work to do for tomorrow, and hide in my office. I practice sitting and standing for ninety minutes while I watch Cassie's You Tube videos and create a dozen index cards. She approves of the work in my binder. It's just a matter of putting the printed 4x6 cards in numerical order in plastic sheets. I word process the entire list of fall/winter ensembles, placing them in plastic sheets. I add a section marked selfies, and file the approved pictures. I review her notes on my selfies. I think she's too damn picky about the jewelry and hair…but until I turn in 12 which are approved…it's selfie time every morning. I'm tempted to submit a picture of me in that red dress and shoes from karaoke night. I'm waiting for Christian to Skype, but there is no request.

XXX

'This is fun for you?' Christian furrowed his brow, walking through the antiques preshow with me. Dad and Laura are over thirty feet from us, looking at furniture which could use some TLC. Christian reaches out and pulls me back to him. 'The things I could do to you on that brass bed,' he whispers in my ear. 'Rope, scarlet red, monofilament…I will tie you spread eagle on that bed, ass up so I can spank you.' We move off because there are people walking into the area, looking at items for sale.

We're looking at a group of chairs when he pushes me into one. He places my hands up on the finials of the chair top. He lifts my legs onto the wide arms and kneels before me. 'I would tie you to this chair, naked. Blindfolded, gagged. I would kiss and lick and finger fuck you until you came all over that silk upholstery.' I close my eyes and moan…I'm so wet for him.

He pulls me to my feet and steers me to a tall-backed three-legged chair. 'Your legs spread wide and tied to the front two legs. Your hands restrained behind the back of the chair. I would blindfold and gag you before I flogged you…and when you are so wet…I will be on my knees…making you wetter.' He pulls me up and we move to another section.

We're looking at an oak library table. He slides one hand around my waist and the other cups a breast. 'Three-point restraint…you gagged, blindfolded and bent over the table…me spanking you until your ass is a pretty pink color…me fucking you from behind.' He pinches my nipple and my panties are soaked. I release a low, desperate moan. 'Be quiet or people will wonder what is going on.'

'Chaise lounge…so many positions…so little time. Collector's cabinet…24 drawers…each one holding restraints, and a toy or an impact implement.' His voice registers in the 'sex-on-legs' range. My panties are soaked. The next section he pulls me into is antique pitcher and basin sets, antique brass bathing tubs, a huge claw bathtub. 'Oh the things I could do to you during an erotic bath…'

The antique toy section makes his eyes gleam with excitement. 'You, naked, astride that carousel horse…' He smirked and pointed at an old game table. 'Strip checkers…followed by you leaning over the gaming table for a leisurely spanking. You standing and bent down holding the sides of the table, legs spread…waiting for me to fuck you…hard. Toys for you in that antique toy chest, falling to your knees, opening the chest, taking out one toy at a time, presenting it to me, begging me to show you how it is used to make you moan…writhe…scream in ecstasy.'

'Antique cheval mirror…so you can strip for me…so you can watch me touch your body…so you can watch me fuck you.' He pulled my braid, tipping my head to the side…feasting on my neck…and I shout out my first release…which wakes me.

Dad's awake like a gunshot and is knocking on my bedroom door. He's worried I'm having intermittent nightmares of the mugging.

"Sorry," I mutter. "I thrashes around in bed and landed on the floor, which woke me. I'll drink some water and go back to bed." Tomorrow morning will come too early.

Sunday, February 19 – CPOV

I am awakened by a nightmare. Elena and Jack Hyde torture Ana and me by killing Ray and Laura, my grandparents, parents, Elliot and Kate, and Mia and Ethan. Ana can't cry out, her blue eyes brim with tears and she won't look at me. She's so angry… and I'm chained to a chair and can't stop them. I wake with a headache and nausea…needing to shower and dress.

After Taylor and I run, and after I practice kick boxing on the dummy in the home gym…Mom announces breakfast will be served within half an hour. Breakfast is subdued. The drive to the ski slopes is subdued…but we all attack the slopes to excise our demons.

XXX – APOV

Sunday we concentrate on business communications. Cassie says business phone skills have degraded since the debut of cell phones. We practice how to properly take phone messages We practice how to respond to work emails. Everyone is warned to NEVER hit the reply-to-all button. We work on the proper format for inter-office memos, business letters and envelopes, and business reports. Proper introductions for a business speeches and presentations are covered. Then we are given ten minutes to build a two-minute speech introducing ourselves with title and key mission areas of our company.

Cassie gives us pointers to help navigate mandatory business meetings. We are supposed to be able to deduce who is stressed, angry or just bored. We learn PowerPoint presentation etiquette – fonts, colors, sizes of fonts, adequate/inadequate/verbose text, reading the slides to the audience, etc. I should be able to critique my presentations to know what is needed to polish them.

We leave with an assignment to draw the layout of our current offices, with measurements, and bring it back tomorrow with a notation of wall colors, blinds, rugs and décor.

I stopped at Second Byte and bought a second TV for the armoire in the home office. Dad and José are gone, taking a load of items to Montesano. When I bought Lita, Dad suggested keeping a king-sized sheet the color of the upholstery in Lita and using it to cover things when I shop. The camouflaged TV can wait for Dad and José to return from Montesano to bring it up and install it for me.

Laura and I talk while cooking. Laura doesn't need a piece of paper to tell her what she feels for Dad is genuine. She's not averse to marriage, but she doesn't need it. They've agreed to be engaged to be engaged. I tell her I appreciate her honesty. I wouldn't want her to play games with his heart. She says his heart is the best gift she's ever received in her life and she cherishes it and him. We talk about Christian and my dating and she says as long as we keep the lines of communication open, we'll be fine. She echoes Kate about taking it at my own pace.

Laura promises to research bridal shower ideas while she's here this weekend. I want to suggest something fun and different to Kate's girl cousins and Elliot's Aunt Rachel who each want to host a shower. Both showers are supposed to be both sex showers. Arranging the showers will count in the entertaining portion of my food class. As the Maid of Honor, I must fit showers into Kate's pre-wedding calendar. Laura reminds me it will be easier to select a wedding present for Kate and Elliot when they are registered somewhere. She explains the bridal party usually go in on one large gift for the bride and groom which is coordinated by the best man. Great…shopping with Christian who won't let anyone pay for anything, and shopping with Mia who shops until she drops. When did extreme shopping become a recognized pastime?

I entered every appointment, Kate salon/spa day, Kate shopping day, and Cassie classes on my calendar. I tentatively schedule wedding events. Every time I think of Christian, I surf the internet and find a picture of him from last night. I have a file of internet pix I've saved of him. I laugh …stalkerish much? I don't know where my head is…but I know what I need to get done this weekend…and daydreaming of Christian won't make it happen.

When Dad and José return, they hooked the TV up to cable in the home office. In a dream world, I can work while watching BBC America. Then they spent an hour measuring my balcony. We're storing the portable kennels for Laura's four Pomskys on the balcony. Dad promises to start looking for patio furniture for me. I ask him not to get wicker because of the weather. He offers to look for wrought iron furniture for me.

Dad and José watch the sports channel. Laura inventories my china and silver. She researches and buys two more vegetable bowls to match my new china. She purchases four silver serving spoons to match my new cutlery. The table linens are a little threadbare so she orders new replacements off Amazon for me. I ask her to download images of twelve sapphire bridesmaid dresses I might like to wear for Kate's wedding. She emails the pictures to me so I can print or email them for Mia and Kate's input.

Cassie wants me to create spring wardrobe binder like the fall/winter one. I don't have to finish it this weekend, but I have to show I've started it. Shawn had suggested I would need a spring/summer binder. I have all the pieces/parts I need to assemble it. I pull the dresses from my spring capsule, take pictures, print them, and drop them in a plastic bag inside the spring/summer wardrobe binder. I drop it in a tote to take to class tomorrow. When I have a few minutes, I respond to emails and watch some of Cassie's You Tube videos. Each tip I learn from a video gets an index card with name of video and URL I practice sitting and rising for two hours while I'm watching assigned You Tube videos. I mix it up with spring wardrobe tips, office organization tips, bathroom organization tips, and spring cleaning ideas. I throw in a sprinkling of how to create a multi-functional balcony. The shuffle of topics keeps me alert.

I get a sweet email from Christian; he misses me. I send him back a wish for sweet dreams with a goodnight kiss.

Before eleven, Dad and Laura take the puppies for one last walk and then we're down for the count. Tomorrow's a busy day. My guests are packed, and ready to depart early in the morning. I plan to relieve my guilt feelings by making a hearty breakfast to start our day right.

XXX – CPOV

We have a quiet dinner. Everyone's exhausted from spending the day on the slopes. Mom, Dad, Elliot and Kate go to the family room to watch some movie. Mia grabs her briefcase and comes to my home office. She sets up her laptop and quietly ticky taps away on work while I'm researching my next acquisitions. Every time I think about Ana…I stop watch the saved CCTV feed from karaoke night.

Mia and I discuss the author launch in Las Vegas in March. We're flying everyone on the GEH jet. I ask Mia to get us rooms at the Bellagio where we will have the author launch. She'll work out logistics with Grey Publishing Marketing and the Events Planner at the Bellagio. We both work until almost midnight.

When I go to bed, Taylor makes sure I have my Ana body pillow and Ana sleeping DVD. I send her a late night email because I miss her and am thinking about her.

Monday, February 20 – APOV

Monday morning came early. I cooked breakfast while José helped Dad and Laura pack the truck to go home. José decided to cruise by UDub and Kate's condo to orient himself before he moves here in July. He's staying at Kate and Elliot's condo while they are on their honeymoon. He starts work at Grey Construction July first.

I get goodbye hugs from Dad and Laura. They promise to Skype and email weekly and they'll be back at Easter for a week. I get quick Pomsky loves before the puppies are caged and transported to the truck.

Monday, Cassie concentrates on business etiquette and how our offices are arranged. Class is a weird sort of a quick business Feng Shui. How to clear our desktops to showcase our professionalism, proper use of business cards, the impact of Social Media on our professional life, business presentations, and appropriate clothing and etiquette at workshops and conferences. She recommends we always keep our top left or right drawer empty. At the end of the day, she says to open the drawer and put all our paperwork in it. It will help keep our desktop clean.

I'm off to the nearest mall. I arrange to have Lita serviced while I do my taxes. I brought my tablet with me to read manuscripts while I am waiting. I don't notice anyone watching me…until I stand and stretch. There are two brunettes giving me the eye. I don't wonder if they know Christian. I reach for my purse and tell the receptionist I'm stepping out to the powder room. Because my family was here, Prescott is off duty. I'll probably get lectured for coming to the mall by myself, but I will deal with that when it's time.

I use my smart phone to take a few pictures of the young ladies before they have time to react and leave. I am not required to play nice. They are obviously ex-subs – otherwise they would not have a clue who I am. I don't compare and contrast myself as they are obviously dressed to attract attention. I'm wearing jeans, t-shirt, hoody and Converse. I'm just completing tasks in my time off work and life.

I tell myself I have no reason to feel insecure. I'm the first woman to fly in Charlie Tango, sleep in Christian's bed, and meet his parents. I'm the first woman who meant MORE to him. I'm curious however, if we have an NDA to keep us from talking about him, what else do those two have in common? My first answer is Elena Lincoln. I won't be thrown by this. It's his past, his issues. If they give me problems…then it's my issue. However, I'm emailing the pictures to Taylor. I don't know what else to do with them. Someone ought to know I am aware of my surroundings.

Taxes weren't a task at all. With Shawn's suggestions, I have receipts for the relocation to Seattle, acquiring a work wardrobe, and sales/tax info for Wanda and Lita. I have donation slips for charity work. My taxes will register, insure and service Lita for a year.

XXX

I called Mom. Her chatty and effervescent conversation kept me entertained for almost an hour. She and Bob had a wonderful golf weekend in Houston. We talked about how much sun she got and the wonderful nightlife they experienced. I eat a late lunch/early dinner and look at my new china once again. I walk around my empty patio in heels with a book on my head, trying to envision it ready for use in the spring. I luxuriate in a bubble bath and read in bed.

XXX – CPOV

"Issues," Taylor sent me an email from Ana. It has two attachments…which are pictures of Susanna and Ariana Wellman. While Ana waited to have her taxes done, these two watched her for at least 15 minutes. She wasn't carrying, so she didn't feel like confronting. Prescott had the weekend off because Ana's family is in town.

I sighed and handed him back the phone. "Please gather Welch tomorrow night and go visit Susanna and Miss Wellman. Make sure they know the NDAs they signed are still in effect. Make sure they aren't following suggestions from Mrs. Lincoln to make Ana's life miserable. I don't like Ariana Wellman, who was a potential sub, in cahoots with Susanna Martin, an ex-sub. The only thing those two have in common is Mrs. Lincoln." I pause and collect my thoughts. "I need you to discuss this situation with Prescott – because if I do – I'm going to yell and swear and trash a smart phone. I can't afford to piss off Ana, Prescott and Ros. If you stay professional with Prescott, it keeps us basically informed about what's going on in Ana's life. Ana has protection whether Ray is in town or not."

February 21 – APOV

"What did you do for the weekend?" Mary asked.

"Dad, Laura and a friend came to Seattle and spent the weekend with me. I had Cassie classes, I spent the weekend cooking and feeding the freezer. I read, I spent time with my family, I played with Laura's puppies. I had my taxes done and my car serviced. I talked to Mom for an hour and it was a nice conversation for once. She didn't mention Christian and I didn't either."

"Did you have any invitations?" Mary inquired.

I told her about Mia's birthday and dancing with Christian. I told her about dinner with Christian on Friday night before class and karaoke night. I tell her Dad and I made plans to go to Portland the weekend José graduates. I explained we were planning a camping trip over Memorial Day weekend. She told me to think long and hard about what I'm doing. I have to give my life breathing space so I can be with Christian and not feel guilty about 'things I'm supposed to do'. I can't explain I think I saw two of his ex-subs. That is so not a conversation I want to have.

Mary reminded me there is strength in numbers. I'm not in this alone. We talk about what I'm learning from Cassie's classes. She reminds me I'm taking the classes for self-improvement, not to garner Cassie's approval of me or my lifestyle. She also warns me I didn't take enough time for myself over the weekend. She might prescribe a spa weekend somewhere if I don't decompress. I tell her I will decompress in Las Vegas at the end of March. She laughs and hopes I don't have a meltdown before then.

"I learned something new this week," Mary handed me a cutout resembling a gingerbread man made from letter sized paper. "You can just write down the things which aggravate you about a person. You can decorate it with hand drawn pictures or cutouts from magazines, newspapers, etc. Then you physically destroy it! Burn it, stomp it into pieces, rip it apart, etc. Make it exceptionally physical so you are out of breath, and your body releases the angst also."

XXX – CPOV

John announced he had two pieces of information for me. One: Leila's doctor and lawyer helped her file for her divorce this morning. She was healthy enough to endure the discussion with the judge to file the documentation and start the waiting period. Her waiting period will be over before Memorial Day. John said her doctor's goal is Leila stabilized and released to her parents by Memorial Day weekend.

John shared the Seattle Nooz online article from Saturday and picture with me.

******Seattle Nooz ******
The song was Is this Love by Whitesnake. We played it this morning in honor of a certain Copper Grey who sang it at a karaoke night at Emerald Club Friday night. Mia Grey, one of the new owners of Emerald Club, organized Flashback Friday, where staff and attendees sang karaoke songs from the 70s, 80s and 90s, wore vintage clothes and drank vintage drinks while nibbling on a vintage menu. But Copper Grey was not the only Grey in attendance – Elliot and Mia Grey had three tables of friends partying with them, along with Katherine Kavanagh, Elliot's fiancée. We don't know who Copper was singing to…he is not telling…but everyone has their own wildest dreams.
******Seattle Nooz ******

XXX

I told John about karaoke night. I admitted I was jealous of Sawyer throwing Mia over his shoulder and swatting her on the ass when she struggled with him. I wanted to throw Anastasia over my shoulder and swat her on the ass for wearing the almost indecent dress and showing off her legs to the universe. I showed him a picture of the dress. He whistled and shook his head…congratulating me on maintaining my self-control.

I told him about the question and answer session with Mom and Dad. They are concerned about future events with Lincoln and Hyde. I hope Mom calms down, because she questioed Dad about contract killers. If Mom does something illegal because of me…I think Dad will kill me and dump my body at sea.

I spent Sunday exhausting myself on the slopes. While I soaked in the hot tub to ease my muscles, I brainstormed ideas for future mergers and acquisitions. I tell John I acquired a company which makes solar-powered water pumps, solar powered pumping stations and solar powered storage facilities for wind-turbine towers.

I plan to create fellowships for six of the students at WSUV. I will send them to areas where GEH has companies in South America. They can set up equipment to power farms to feed the local population. I'm excited about the project. We can work out kinks in all the systems and then be prepared to integrate them for the public. The next plan is to have GEH acquire some wind turbine factories and farms for testing. I think we can develop a better design which increases production of electricity. They will be invaluable for farming and industry in third-world countries.

"Have you thought about your desire to throw Ana over your shoulder and spank her?" John inquired.

"A man can dream, John." I sigh. "I remember throwing her over my shoulder and swatting her on the ass the night I introduced her to my parents."

"Last time I checked, she wasn't into that," John retorted. "Also, we had a discussion about you punishing her after happy events in her life. Do you want her happy or obedient? Think about it."

I remember the ben-wa balls and the sensual spanking and it almost makes me hard. "Which is why I didn't indulge that fantasy." I remind him. "John, I tore out the playroom. I haven't wanted anything like that until Friday night. It made me...unsettled. I had a series of dreams Friday night. They weren't night terrors, but they were vivid, and they woke me."

"What were they about?"

"One dream was Hyde and Lincoln killing Ana and my families and we were helpless to stop them. I interpreted the dream to mean I'm concerned about Hyde and Lincoln messing with our families…possibly destroying us. The other dreams were replays of the morning Anastasia left me. Different scenarios… same result…she shouts 'no' as I walk toward her, trying to make her stay. I freeze, she leaves." I shrug.

"How do you feel about that?" John inquired.

"I need to know why she's so hesitant about being with me. She danced with me at my parents' house. The only thing I know is she's attending classes of some sort. Ana has a CPO who won't reveal anything to my security staff, but without her guarding Ana…" I broke down and told him about Ariana and Susanna, the pictures and Ana's intuition. I'm prepared to answer any questions she has about them.

"Talk to her. Tell her your concerns about paparazzi and not having her CPO with her. Be honest and ask how she knew Ariana and Susanna were submissives. Ask her what she thinks the two of you should do about it?" John proposed. "There's strength in numbers. Remember she enlisted the help of the SEC to bring down Hyde and Lincoln. She's a team player."

"I can't do this once a week dating bullshit anymore." I announced.

"What are you going to do?" John is shocked.

"I told her. We had dinner together on Friday before she went to class and I went to therapy. We must find time to be with one another." I asserted. "I wish she had never taken the job as Copy Editor. If she was an Editorial Reader still, she could travel anywhere with me do her job when…?"

"When she's waiting around for you?" John snarked. "I am not pointing out the fallacy of that fantasy. I'll leave it to you to figure it out."

When I leave John's office, I called Ana, and apologized for the late hour, but I would like to have a date tomorrow night with her. She asks if we can have a quiet night – maybe dinner and a movie. I ask her if we can do it at Escala or her condo because then we have privacy to talk if we want. She votes for Escala. She'll come there right after work.

February 22 – TPOV

Well…the best laid plans of mice and men…Prescott is anxious to get Miss Steele home 'before something happens'. I point to the CCTV. They are both fast asleep in front of the TV. I know the Boss has been running on fumes, and I think Ana has too. I offer Prescott one of the guest rooms. I'm not waking those two for love or money or Ros bodyguards.

The Boss requested a comfort dinner. Gail made a wonderful chicken pot pie and tossed salad with chilled white wine. It's one of my favorite meals Gail makes. The Boss and Ana had a great dinner together, laughing, talking, sharing…and then they started watching a movie…and fell asleep. I quietly moved the long ottoman next to the couch and rearranged them in a more comfortable position. He stretched and pulled her in to spoon with him…and she curled into his arms. It was sweet…and I hope it's the hurdle they need to jump in order to move on. I know Mr. Carrick and Dr. T. are worried about Lincoln and Hyde, but my team will do their best to protect the Greys and the Steeles.

February 23 – APOV

"Good morning," Christian softly whispered in my ear.

"Morning?" I yawned.

"We fell asleep last night," he explained. "It's almost seven. I haven't slept this long in forever."

"I need to…go home and get ready for work." I start to panic.

"Stay here…there's clothes, toiletries, shower and a Gail breakfast…" Christian held me close, not letting go. "Please?"

"Did I fall asleep on you…or did you fall asleep on me?" I wonder.

"I don't know," he admitted. "If it's important we could ask Taylor."

"It's not important, but I bet I fell asleep on you. It was a busy weekend, a long day on Tuesday and an intense work day yesterday." I explained.

"I'll bet I fell asleep on you…because if you had fallen asleep first, I would have stayed awake…watching you sleep until I fell asleep, like the first night at the Heathman. I watched you sleep…and it was so relaxing, I fell asleep also. Last night was better…" he bragged.

"Why?" I frowned.

"Because you aren't hungover, suspicious and questioning me. You're still laying in my arms. I'd kiss you but I have morning mouth…" he teased.

"Ugh…don't remind me." I cover my mouth to not breathe on him. "Tell me where I can go shower and clean up."

Christian's body tensed. "If I tell you bedroom, top of the stairs…will you become angry and leave me? It still has toiletries and clothes in it for you."

"After all this time?" I pulled my head back to look at him. "Did you keep them in hopes I would come back…or in denial because I left?"

"How did you know Ariana and Susanna were submissives? Susanna, the taller one, is an ex. Ariana is one of Elena's potentials last year."

"They spent fifteen minutes staring at me and discussing me. Usually salespeople discuss me, especially if I'm with Kate and Mia. So, Mrs. Lincoln didn't waste time finding a petite, blue-eyed brunette to try to tempt you back to the community?"

"I'm not interested in any petite blue-eyed brunette except you. Please don't be jealous of a non sequitur in my life." Christian cajoled.

"Why did you keep the clothes?" I ask softly…I don't want to poke the bear.

"I was in limbo. I didn't dare send the clothes and things to you, because you didn't want them. I could have donated them but I kept them to remind me how much I fucked up with you. I want to take you shopping. I want to watch you buy something which makes you feel pretty and special." He admitted.

"You know I hate shopping?" I reminded him.

"I know, but I'm tired of Shawn Stanton having all the fun of dressing you." Christian argued.

"How do you know Shawn dresses me?" I moved away. Is he stalking me?

"The day we had lunch with Harley, Shawn and Ros, she complimented your dress. Shawn knew the designer and season it debuted. Either he did up your zipper that day…or he bought the dress." Christian sat up. "Are you upset because I know?"

"No, surprisingly, I'm not. What did you do with clothes from previous subs? I just want to know I'm not wearing an ex-sub's clothes." I'm fairly calm…considering the topic.

"Mrs. Jones packed them up and shipped them to the sub, along with toiletries and anything personal left in the penthouse. Everything in the closet and the bathroom was chosen for you."

"Thank you," I kissed his cheek. 'I'll make a deal with you, you pick something out of the closet and I'll wear it today."

Christian hugged me. "Thank you," he whispered in my ear. "Thank you, my beautiful girl."

XXX

I'm wearing the loveliest emerald green pencil skirt, with a pale water lily green silk blouse. The underwear and thigh high stockings are nude, and make me sexy. The heels and handbag are nude also. I'm wearing lovely emerald studs and an emerald tennis bracelet. I leave my hair down and curled and send a selfie off to Cassie. I look like I belong on Christian's arm. He whistled when I joined him for breakfast, which made me blush…furiously.

I loved having breakfast with Christian because he didn't nag at me to eat. I loved Gail making me breakfast. I thanked her and hugged her, hard. I loved Christian kissing me senseless in the elevator until I could feel his arousal pressing against me. I told him I felt guilty, making him horny. He assured me the thought of me, soft and warm in his arms this morning was the best aphrodisiac in the world. He vowed he would wait for me to be ready to resume a physical relationship. He swears he will take this at my pace, but he begs me not to take too long…for the sake of his sanity…and his freedom. He doesn't want Ray throwing him in jail for kidnapping me. He helped me into Taylor's SUV, and held my hand on the way to work.

Christian asked me to meet him at the diner tomorrow night before our appointments. I agreed, if he ordered in advance for us. He's eager to do so.