Wounds to Bind Chapter 47 – "Courage doesn't happen when you have all the answers. It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life." – Shannon L. Alder
Monday, February 27
Shawn and Harley bring a large lobster and shrimp Cobb Salad with them for dinner. Prescott makes a face at me when they arrive. I tell her to be nice and I'll invite her to dinner. She chuckles and holds up the wall in the hall.
While Shawn preps everything, Harley and I have a quick SEC conversation. They concluded the investigation into Elena Lincoln and Jack Hyde. Elena profited from twenty of the last fifty mergers and acquisitions of Grey House. Their SEC trials will be either the last week of June or the first week of July. I tell him I can't deal if it is the week of the wedding. We discuss possible outcomes if they are found guilty.
Shawn calls us to dinner. He's made a pitcher of white wine spritzers to go with our salad. The dressing is a creamy avocado and goes well with the salad. There are mini herb and cheddar biscuits to go with the salad. We have a great time talking about spring in Seattle and things to do. We're all jonesing for some sunshine.
Harley cleans up while I vent to Shawn about feeling deficient via Cassie's classes. He shows me the six dresses he's found for my spring/summer capsule along with two spring weight jackets. I took pictures before he put the items in my closet. He approves of the emerald pencil skirt and water lily green silk shirt which he spots when hanging up my dresses. I'm embarrassed and lie. I claim I borrowed them from Kate's closet after an all-nighter so I didn't have to do the walk of shame. He says I need to raid her closet more often, and not return what I borrow. The water lily green is a good color for me.
I ask him to help me find at least six hairstyles which are easy for me to learn and have less than five steps. Cassie dismissed six of the hairstyles which Serena helped me with…claiming they were too plain and urging me to up my game. Shawn recommends finding half hair up/half hair down styles. I explain the perfume issues and show him the lists of You Tube videos Cassie has imposed on us.
Shawn says he sees a difference in how I carry myself. He says I'm more confident. I tell him walking and sitting lessons won't make me a better at fishing or setting up a camp site. He says I have the tomboy stuff down…it's time to practice being feminine. He says Carla is partially right about good smelling perfume…but he recommends listening to Amber and my other coworkers because they all learned to care for themselves on a budget. I appreciate his counseling. We have a great time looking up spring and summer outfits on Pinterest, and I print out ones I really like.
When Shawn and Harley leave, I am thrilled to take a hot shower, climb into girly pajamas and go to bed. I'm a little bummed Christian didn't Skype or email, but that doesn't stop me from getting a good night's sleep.
XXX
'I get a 10-minute head start,' Christian announced. 'When I get to the center, I'm removing one piece of clothes every minute…so if you solve the maze pretty fast…you'll get to see me take off my underwear. Once I'm naked, …you get one swat on your ass for every extra minute it takes you to find me.' He disappeared into the maze.
I'm awake and mildly curious. I don't know a thing about mazes…but I know to research. "Always follow one wall to the right or left. If you see it's a dead end ahead of you, cross to the other side and continue. It may take longer, but it takes less time than panic and running amok." Okay, I'm set if I ever have to walk a maze.
Now, what does it mean? 'A confusion of ideas, a confusion of feelings, conflicting urges, conflicting opinions, indecision, feeling lost, life's twists and turns.' NO SHIT. I'm taking an OTC sleeping tab, drink some cold green tea and read until I fall asleep.
February 28
I vent to Mary about the wedding issues. She's rocking with laughter about the Saturday pizza and wine planning session. I tell her it is time to come clean about the SEC. We talk about my friendship with Shawn and Harley. I tell her about the issues with Jack Hyde. I cannot tell her all the issues about Elena Lincoln, but I do explain I'm having issues with a friend of Grace Grey who doesn't think I'm good enough for Christian.
Mary says the universe can disapprove all they want…but if Christian and I decide we want to be together…then it is our choice. She suggests it is part of the reason for the maze dream.
We talk about the weather and how everyone is having the midwinter slumps. We talk about what I would need to throw in a suitcase and take off to somewhere warm for four days. She still recommends I get some down time…even if it's just attending another yoga retreat in sunny California. She understands I'm trying to make it to the author launch in Las Vegas and build in a weekend of down time when it is over. However, she cautions I should not keep putting off the down time I desperately need.
February 29 – APOV
Around noon Christian emails he and Ros are delayed and won't set down in Seattle until around two tomorrow morning. He explains he can't meet on Thursday night because they have a late meeting with Legal and M&A. He asks me to meet him for a quick dinner at six on Friday.
I explain I can't meet on Friday night – but I'm willing to make breakfast for us on Saturday morning – six a.m. at my condo.
March 2 – CPOV
Mom talks to John about Mia organizing a Thursday night dance class for Kate's cousins, guys who work with Elliot, Kate's coworkers, etc. There's so many of them Mia rented the gym at a private elementary school to give everyone enough space. They have two teachers to instruct. They use Mia and Allison, a cousin of Kate's, along with Ethan and Sawyer to demonstrate the steps. I suspect I was bait for the school principal to approve the rental agreement.
Mia asked Elliot to send some of his men to dance lessons because she doesn't want her feet to be black and blue after the wedding. She claims none of the guys who ask her to dance CAN dance. The Neanderthals, who work for Elliot, need to learn a single, non-gay man who can dance is quite popular with single women. They'll meet lots of interested females… and won't be taking drunk sluts home, unless that is what they want.
"Mom, I appreciate your help putting the bandages on my scars and talking to me while Sela massages …but as God is my witness… if I hear one more word about the wedding or wedding plans…I'm moving to New York or Aspen until the wedding is over."
"Don't threaten me," Mom laughed. "I know where you park the corporate jet." Then she looks chagrined, thinking about the issues with Charlie Tango's sabotage.
"I will be working a lot of late nights in March and April. Mergers and Acquisitions has three times the normal workload with the new companies GEH is acquiring. I'm trying to keep Saturday afternoons open to entertain Elliot while Kate's shopping and doing girly things with Mia and Ana."
"New area?" Mom asked.
"You know my need to feed the world. GEH will start implementing a plan for solar and wind power in third world countries to help farmers. We're looking at retrofitting ten buildings owned by GEH over the next decade to include green industry standards, solar heating and wind turbine created electricity to lower carbon footprints." I let out a hiss.
"Breathe," Sela ordered. "Breathe, I'm not near six."
"You numbered your scars?" Mom looks horrified.
"Pause for a minute, Sela, please," I reached for Mom's hand. "I'm sorry, I know it horrifies you, but it's easier to communicate if we numbered them. Otherwise, we'd be talking quadrants and sections and sounding like we were mapping a spatial grid. For a while we were calling them One of Seven, which sounded like Star Trek Borg designations. Sela, I didn't hiss because you were near six. I hissed because I think I'm ticklish there."
"Here, by your armpit?" Sela brushed her fingers over it. "Holy of holies, yes, that's a ticklish response. Kudos for recognizing it and not reacting physically."
"Christian's not ticklish," Mom asserted.
"Christian's definitely ticklish. Christian never let you touch him to find out if he was ticklish. He just wasn't aware either until now. I will not torture you in that area." Sela continued her massage.
Mom and I continued to talk, John joined in from time to time. Mom asked if I thought Mia was ready to step up and take on more responsibility for Coping Together. I replied Mia was up to it or I would not have financed Grey Calendars. It will be a subsidiary of Grey House until Mia is 25, then she will decide if she wants to stay under the Grey House umbrella or be a stand-alone entity like Grey Construction. Besides, if Mia can pull off a 300 person wedding for Kate and Elliot and not draw blood from either of them, she can help with Coping Together.
"Mia finally finished decluttering her closet. She hired a professional organizer and sorted for four hours a night this week. I have ten…count them…ten 30-gallon trash bags of clothes and accessories for the rummage sale." Mom showed me a picture of Mia loading them in Mom's car. Mom explained to Sela and John about the two rummage sales the Northwest partners of doctors hosted each year. One was held the Saturday before Easter and one was held the Saturday before Labor Day. The money always goes to a good cause or project for the hospital.
The sale outgrew using the Northwest parking lot years ago and now used the Washington State Convention Center. A storage facility donates six units to them each year to hold donations until the weekend before the sale. Then volunteers transport everything collected to WSCC two days before the event starts. They would be in the north end of the fourth floor. This year Mia and her crew drew up layout plans for Mom's charity. Mia and Kate would work in the clothing section along with four other women. The Women's Health Center was in the south end of the fourth floor this year with their Spring Fling event for families.
"Women's Health Center – where Ana reads to the kids?" I asked, a little sleepily. I felt so relaxed today thanks to Sela's massage.
"Yes," Mom agreed. "I had forgotten she would be there. But you never forget, do you my darling boy."
"Not when it comes to Anastasia." I confirm. "Tell Mia I will call Caroline Acton on Monday morning and activate her gift certificate."
"Why don't you wait until she gets Kate and Celeste sorted? That's the project for the weekend. Instead of shopping or spa tomorrow afternoon, Kate, Mia and Ana are clearing Kate's bedroom at her parents' house. Celeste bought ten rolling clothes racks. They are emptying Kate's closet onto them, deep cleaning the closet, dresser and room. Then Celeste is letting Kate take 100 items home to the condo. The rest has to go to the rummage sale. Whatever they don't sort on Saturday, they are sorting on Sunday. Then the professional organizer is helping Celeste clear out their house, prepping it for the wedding."
"How's Elliot taking the invasion of his space by Kate's clothes?" I mused.
"He had the master bedroom closet redesigned into equal-sized closets for both of them. What doesn't fit in her master bedroom closet has to fit in the closet in her home office. Plus, he won't let her go shopping without giving him a bag which holds 10 items of clothes or 5 accessories sorted out of what she has. He doesn't care if she only brings home three items. He takes the bag to your Dad during your Saturday golf outings and Carrick brings it home to me for the sale."
"Should I plan a clear out of my closets?" I asked Mom…only to hear John clear his throat.
"You have skeletons in your closet you shouldn't discuss with me?" Mom sounds amused.
John cleared his throat again and Sela's hands paused. "Christian…do you feel that knot…" she pressed gently on a knot near my tailbone. "That is a trigger. You were completely relaxed until that question and now you have a knot. I can massage the knot away, but you need to recognize the question was a trigger and remain relaxed during your conversation." She proceeded to work the knot out. The room was eerily quiet for the last ten minutes of my massage.
"Done, I'm coverying you with a warm blanket so we can talk aftercare." Sela covered me with a warm blanket. "Put your forehead on the table," she directed and worked the muscles at the top of my shoulders and the spine leading up to my scalp. "Good," she pulled the blanket up to my chin. "Christian…a quote from George Bernard Shaw… "If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."
"Mom knows my skeleton. She knows Elena and I were involved," I explained.
"Is involved enough of a dance?" John asked.
"Mom, do you need to know the extent of Elena and my involvement?" I asked, cheekily.
"I would rather not know about your sex life Christian." Mom refused… pointedly.
"Especially since you know I'm not gay," I chuckled.
"You are a constant source of surprises. That morning, when I heard you had a guest…I was kicking myself for not calling first. I thought, this is why he makes us call before coming over. I heard you say, 'wear something of mine.' I felt you would finally tell me you were gay." Mom admitted.
"Why would you think Christian was gay?" Sela inquired.
"He never expressed any interest in girls," Mom shrugged.
"Did he express any interest in boys?" Sela laughed.
"NO," Mom and I both retorted.
"Ana is the first woman I ever introduced to Mom," I explain.
"So, Elena for six years and then…" Sela started to ask.
"…paid sexual companions, until I met Ana," I explain.
"John and Sela know you had paid companions?" Mom asked quietly.
"They know I paid off student loans and provided the women with clothing, jewelry, and electronics to keep their silence. They also know I can't buy Ana's affections with things. She measures her importance in my life by how much time I spend with her." I admit. "Have my skeletons danced enough for tonight?"
Sela checked the blanket. "Almost cool. Two things…we discovered you are ticklish and you experienced another physical effect of a trigger. How was the massage?"
"Good," I stretched and reached for my sweatshirt. "I think we'll repeat this week's massage…I'm not ready to have you massage my scars."
"May we, with the sweatshirt in place?" Sela showed me her hand and Mom's hand.
"Sure, let's give it a try." I stood up. This would normally be the ten-minute touch and hold session with Sela.
Sela guided Mom's hands. "First a hug," She coached Mom how to stand and then let her wrap her arms around me, holding me, hugging me.
"Shhhh," I quieted her tears. "I've got you. You are safe. You are loved. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for forgiving my issues and stupidity."
"Oh Christian!" Mom's eyes sparkled through the tears.
"What's on the plan for the rest of the night?" I hold Mom as tight and as long as she needed.
"How about a game of Twister?" Sela's eyes sparkled. "Might as well show your Mom how far touch therapy has taken you. "She can run the spinner and Reynolds can join us."
XXX – APOV
Casual Dining Class began tonight. Cassie approves of my work to dinner attire. Grey wool slacks, grey sweater, black flats and hobo purse. I wear a black boyfriend jacket and my hair is a left herringbone braid. I try to remain calm but the last time I was at Wild Ginger, I ended up eating tea and toast at home. My raspberry ginger ale is the best; I have to search for a recipe for it. Cassie ordered fifteen different dishes for us to taste test. I liked the seven-flavor beef and the black scallops but I don't care to find recipes. I might search for a recipe for their mushrooms and pea pods. In preparation for tonight's little soiree, I researched their menu. Then I researched Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese and Asian Fusion foods. I cannot believe we're practicing with chopsticks!
When I'm leaving, I see her. Elena Lincoln occupies a table with a man who gives me a look which chills me to the bone. She firmly sets her wine glass on the table, throwing her napkin beside it. She starts to approach me, but she sees someone behind me and freezes in place. I swear she slinks back into her seat. I turn slowly to continue my walk to the door and see Taylor and Mrs. Jones sitting at a table, lingering over coffee. I catch Taylor's eye and nod in the direction of Elena Lincoln. Taylor nods at me, reaches in his pocket and takes a picture of her on his cell phone. I smile and squeeze Gail's hand and make my way to the front door. Prescott waits for me. I'm in her SUV and out of there before either party can detain me.
XXX – TPOV
"Security caught Elena Lincoln at the Mariposa restaurant in Bravern Center last Saturday as Kate, Mia and Ana were having lunch. When Ana spotted her, they left and went to her condo. Elena froze and did not attempt to make contact." I reported to Grey. "Tonight Ana was having dinner with her group. I couldn't get close enough to hear what they were saying. I wonder if it's a cooking class because they were taste testing different dishes and learning how to eat with chopsticks. When Ana was leaving, she spotted Elena. Elena stood up and was about to engage Ana, but she spotted Gail and me and resumed her seat without approaching Ana."
"Probably a good thing," Grey commented. "I think Ana would have given her a big helping of whoop ass. I'm running the treadmill until I'm exhausted."
"How was therapy with your mom?" I inquire about his evening.
"We played Twister…Reynolds isn't half as good as you are." Grey snarked. "What are the chances of arresting Elena for breaking her no-contact order?"
"Doubtful," I predicted. "I'll urge her previous security to keep a closer eye on her and tell us where she's going."
March 3 – APOV
I'm on the patio, doing yoga, trying to clear my mind. Christian's coming over for breakfast. I look out and he's running with Taylor. I start to wave and I see him shake his head. There are three hard chargers following him and Taylor. I step back away from the patio into my condo. So much for yoga. So much for a breakfast date. I shower and change into casual clothes, ready to hit Celeste's house to help Kate until eleven. I'm interrupted by a Kate email which explains she's decluttering at her condo. She'll see me at two at her mom's house. I tell Prescott the change in my schedule and I change into sweats and instead of doing anything…I lay down on the couch in the living room, turn on the cable and let my mind drift away. Suddenly I'm curious about things, and once I check online…there is a Twitter about Christian running in the vicinity of my condo. No wonder he had extra company this morning.
XXX
We are at the Hard Rock Café. In anticipation of their first anniversary, there are special exhibits. I researched music questions, but I don't know if I will need them. I also researched music quotes and found one by Thomas Hardy. "There's a friendly tie of some sort between music and eating," Under the Greenwood Tree.
I'm sure, since we made the news, I'll be asked about karaoke nights. Mia emailed me a list of Flashback Friday dates with their topics. Surprisingly, I pass inspection for appropriate casual clothes. My angel braid is a little messy, but I get a kudo for attempting it.
XXX
"I don't think much of your organizer!" I snapped at Kate. "I'm not her minion!"
"She's pretty demanding isn't she?" Kate snickered.
"OH PLEZZZ," I groaned. "Just give her a whip…I think she make a great Dominatrix."
"She's used to working with recalcitrant customers," Mia's voice carried through the clothing racks and out to the stairs. "She's heard every possible excuse there is for holding on to possessions."
"Are you sure you don't want anything from my closet?" Kate asked, eying the way-too-full clothing racks.
"Well, I wouldn't mind you gifting me the black and grey tweed pencil skirt. I wouldn't mind you donating the black short-sleeved silk pullover sweater. I'm shorter than you are so they will be the right length for me." I pointed them out. "But I don't want you having donation remorse. You aren't hiding a few dozen outfits in my closet to claim at a later date. Elliot will shoot me."
"You should take the black cashmere sweater dress. Elliot says it's too short and won't let me wear it." Kate whined. "Let's keep those three separate and use them to check other pieces of clothes. Elliot is determined to remove really short dresses from my wardrobe."
I eyed it critically. "Yeah, I'll take it too."
"Break's over," Celeste and Madam Le Whip announced, coming up the stairs with boxes of trash bags and a big box for hangers. Mia explains the three pieces of clothes set aside. Celeste and Madam Le Whip tackle the two racks of bridesmaid and prom dresses Kate has accumulated. Celeste has projects planned for them and argues with Le Whip about keeping them. Eventually, the two racks are hauled down to Celeste's sewing room. Le Whip makes Celeste agree to donate the gowns to charity if the projects are not completed by the middle of August.
"We're calling it a day at five. Elliot and I missed the church marriage class this afternoon so we have to attend tonight," Kate announced. "Elliot and I are hiring a private dance instructor for Saturday mornings in May for the parents and wedding party. I need to coordinate dancing with Dad; Elliot needs to coordinate dancing with Grace. We have to practice our first dance. Parents have to learn to dance with the other parents and grandparents."
"Tell me how that is good news?" I roll my eyes.
"You get to dance with Christian," her eyes glinted with mirth. "We've chosen the string quartet for the church and the DJ for the reception."
I ignored her good news. "Do you want me to follow you to the storage unit if you drive the U-Haul," I asked.
"Nope, Elliot and the guys are loading and unloading today. Grace gave them a key to the storage unit. Are you sure you don't want to help tomorrow?" Kate emphasized all the unsorted racks.
"I can work from eight to ten and from four to nine." I took Kate's short clothes to my car. Anything to avoid Madame Le Whip for a little longer. She and I heatedly debated an ugly spruce green tweed pair of pants with matching vest. The turtleneck assigned to go with it is a burnished gold and ugly. I tell Le Whip if she insists I take them, they will put in a Salvation Army bin on my way home. I suggest Kate was out of her bloody mind when she bought them for a Harvest Dance at WSUV. Needless to say, a few other pieces of clothes stay which Le Whip wanted to ship out with me, including a black leather 'let's go clubbing' dress.
I wish Kate would quit asking about my weekend lessons. I hate lying to her. When I discussed it with Mary, she urged me to examine
my reasons for not telling Kate and Mia the truth. She's not for or against it if I'm convinced I'm doing it for self-preservation.
XXX – TPOV
Grey skipped breakfast at Ana's condo today because we had a trio of nosy paparazzi jogging with us. We're changing his schedule. Someone's telling the universe he runs at six.
Today Ana attended brunch at the Hard Rock Café with the group of people from last night. I still don't have answers for Grey about the situation. Prescott drove and provided security. Ana's not telling Kate what she's doing. Kate is not telling Elliot who is not telling Grey. Clusterfuck cubed.
March 4 – APOV
We are to meet at one o'clock at Taste for our last class in casual dining. Cassie made reservations. I am at the Seattle Art Museum by eleven, wearing navy wool pants and a sapphire twin set. I have argyle trouser socks and cute navy penny loafers with a coordinating navy shoulder bag. I know my hair is an issue and I spend time separating my hair into two groups: crown and nape and fasten each with a navy hair tie and finish it off with a navy barrette. Small gold hoops and my gold dress watch complete my ensemble for the day. I wear my Anorak jacket. My makeup is light and I have a pop of raspberry lip gloss. I think I'm walking more gracefully after over six weeks of practicing with high heels and a book. I listened to Cassie's You Tube video of table manners…all 100 tips…while practicing my walking and sitting during my lunch hours last week. It was miserably rainy outdoors so all the coworkers and I are seasonally depressed.
I especially like the European section of the museum. Did my favorite authors buy art works? Or like Beatrix Potter, did they illustrate their own works and or dabble with painting and drawing? I'll bet Madam la Comtesse de Cambacérés had deportment lessons. I'll bet she was never left alone with the artist because it was against society rules in those days. I doubt her husband was a jealous git who didn't allow her to talk to other men. I'll bet she was the ultimate hostess, knew which spoon to use and which glass was the appropriate one to use. I'll bet her table settings were exactly an inch from the edge of the table. I'll bet her cook knew how to prepare signature meals and I'll bet she was hell at choosing wine.
I've made notes on index cards about my favorite pictures in the gallery and why. I like Narcissus by Victoria Dubourg Fantin-Latour. It reminds me of the botanical prints in my home, plus it's painted by a woman. But my favorite is Wheat Field by Paul Camille Guigou. Painted in 1860, it reminds me of a quote from Tess. "She might be happy in some nook which had no memories."
The problem is…the white walls and the paintings remind me of Christian's penthouse at Escala. I feel melancholic. Christian could have taught me about paintings and wine. He could have taught me about French and music. Instead I learned about broken hearts and sleepless nights. Still, I have trouble blaming him for that because Mrs. Rob…Elena Lincoln was a bitch of a teacher. Then I realize, I'm REALLY bitchy during my cycle this month. I blame it on the nightly wet dreams of Christian which follow unsatisfactory Skypes. He's tired, I'm tired and we can barely smile at one another. Nothing between us is getting resolved.
Cassie is killing me. We are seated in the order we arrived. We start on time, introducing the person to our right to the person on our left. When conversation starts, she assigns the persons seated in the odd numbered chairs to begin conversing with the person on their left. I have a mental list of questions, but they are boring as hell. I'm thrilled when five minutes is over, but then it's my turn to answer questions from the person on my right.
Then it is Cassie's turn at inquisition. Yes, I visited the museum this morning, the European section. I like the Paul Camille Guigou oil on canvas picture, circa 1860, called Wheat Field. Why? Because it reminds me of scenes from literature, like Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Hardy and Howards End by E.M. Forester. Cassie corrects my pronunciation of Guigou, but is pleased with my artistic comparison between the painting and literature.
After lunch we are critiqued for clothing and grooming. I lost points for the gold dress watch. It's too fabulous to wear to a casual lunch, but I gain points for visiting the museum before lunch. Additionally, she gives me back the dozen selfies I submitted last week, and I get ten passes out of twelve. So, I'm relying on Shawn's outfit list to see if I can get my last group of approved outfits for Cassie.
Cassie hands out our business dining syllabi with assignments for next week. She says we will be joined by six new people. Friday night we are assigned a two-minute presentation on who we are, where we work and what we do. Saturday we are to prepare a three-minute introductory PowerPoint for class. Sunday we are to bring a list of six possible venues, guests and discussion points for business lunches. Cassie's handouts include the list of rules for business dining. We are expected to dress in business attire at all events. We will be critiqued on our attire, grooming, manners and conversation. Cassie explains this is not a list of new places to eat lunch with coworkers, but directives on how to dine with bosses and corporate directors. We are encouraged to practice at every available opportunity.
When I get home, I'm emailing Mia. I will beg her to send me a list of six venues and menus suitable for business meetings. It is the guest lists which I stress over. I would love to list the editorial assistants, but it's supposed to be dining with head honchos. A group lunch to discuss the launch would be PR, Finance and Grey Calendars. I will list a group lunch for Coping Together. A third could be a working lunch for the Montesano VFW platoon support. I will faux plan an author lunch with Mr. Roach. A working lunch with the beta readers will cover one of my assignments. Which leaves me one lunch…and while I think of lunch with Christian…it's more sex than lunch which I can't discuss with Cassie.
XXX
I change into jeans and a sweatshirt with Converse before I help with the great closet clear out at Kate's. I want to stay busy and not think about lessons, or the twenty pieces of clothes from Kate's closets which now reside in mine. I don't want to think about adding them to the master wardrobe lists. Mostly it's dresses and skirts which Elliot deemed are too short for Kate to wear. Since I'm five two and Kate's five six, too short for her is appropriate for me. I think Prescott and I are photographed arriving at Kate's condo…but I don't want to think about it either.
Today's the day I have to explain what I've been doing to Kate and Mia. I don't think I can lie about it any longer.
XXX
"I'm not happy you felt you had to lie to us about what you were doing, but I am happy you will feel more confident about being my Maid of Honor." Kate commented. "I'm sorry too. Mom's siblings are upset about their precious daughters not being part of the wedding party. I know Mom is under stress and she's stressing me out. Just know…even if you were nine months pregnant, unmarried, lesbian and a hooker…I would still want you to be my Maid of Honor."
"If you're using the classes to avoid Christian, I'm not happy," Mia snarks.
"I told you…he has issues. I have issues. We're both seeing therapists. You saw what your friends were like at your birthday dinner. Imagine 100 times the mean girl gauntlet for Kate's wedding. I need to stand up to Christian, bitchy saleswomen and the media if a relationship happens between us. I need to stand up to Kate's girl cousins and their parents." I assert to excessive laughter from Kate.
XXX
"What are these boxes in your office closet?" Mia is curious.
"Cheats, I have to give Elliot ten pieces of clothes when I go shopping. So I purged to a dozen of every underwear and lingerie item in my dresser." Kate grinned wickedly, pointing at three overstuffed boxes. "Elliot is learning not to open the bags and count the items I give him. I took great pleasure in elucidating the difference between demi-cup bras and shelf bras and between V-kinis and bikinis. I think his head was ready to spin off its axis when I explained what a tanga was. I'm taking great pleasure in following his rules."
I'm speechless and my mouth goes dry thinking of only wearing panties in the RROP…and how Christian stole them!
XXX
On the way home, I stop at a tea house in Pike Place Market and lay in a supply of honey cardamom scones, fruit mini muffins, chocolate dipped biscuits and fruit tarts which freeze well. I buy savories like mini ricotta and spinach puffs, asiago cheese and Parma ham muffins, caramelized onion with smoked cheese and bacon mini scones, and pepper jack cheese straws. I can use them to make tea trays in the afternoons at work or for quiet weekends at home. I tell Prescott I'm in for the night and lock the door when she leaves.
XXX
I'm visiting an art gallery...trying not to think about the white walls and artwork at Escala. I have a glass of champagne and I'm in a cocktail dress...is this a Cassie class? I'm tired...isn't this over yet...I walk toward what I think is the exit...but I'm in a room where restoration work occurs on different paintings.
'Your skin is my canvas…' Christian appears behind me, wearing nothing but those playroom jeans which hang indecently off his hips, showing the muscular V which leads to his happy trail. 'You are my muse,' Christian braids my hair, tipping my head to the side, nipping my neck and kissing the hollow spot that makes my knees week.
He kisses me senseless…I'm naked and tied to a large easel, my hands restrained over my head, my legs spread and tied the front legs of the easel.
He takes a sable brush and teases me with it from head to toe. I feel cool liquid as he writes words on my skin. 'Mine,' he says when he finishes painting. He puts the brush aside and picks of the suede flogger. He flogs me…slow, sensual strokes…bringing my blood up…making my skin flush. He concentrates on my breasts, my sex, my torso, my thighs, my feet. 'You are so wet for me...' he drops to his knees and licks me from my knees to my sex...long languorous licks...he ignores my sex and caresses my ass while he's licking, sucking and biting my hipbones. I need him...but I don't think this easel can support him pressing against me...
He blindfolds me, and when I'm wondering what he's planning? I hear the click of a camera. He's taking pictures of my naked body. 'Stop!' 'NO!' 'RED!'
I wake up, in tears. Escala is his home…but when I'm there, it feels like a cold sterile art museum. I take a scalding hot shower and put on warm sweats and thick socks. I make a pot of chai tea and a plate some of those treats I brought home. Since I'm awake, I go to You Tube and watch a few dozen of Cassie's recommended videos and take excellent notes. Maybe if I exhaust my brain, it won't be caught up in BDSM sex dreams of Christian.
XXX – CPOV
Since Ana has been in proximity to Kate and Mia, she's being followed by paparazzi who are eager to announce her activities. She's the new it girl for Seattle Nooz. Ana visited the Seattle Art Museum and had lunch with strangers. Seattle Nooz online posted a photo of Ana sitting in front of a painting. The other photo was her at a dinner table, talking animatedly with strangers. It's not a work event. It didn't look like a fix up because the seating is erratic, not boy-girl-boy-girl. What the fuck is Ana up to now? At least Harrison and boyfriend are not in attendance. She will have to come clean with Kate and Mia if they see this. She's obviously not at yoga class.
