Wounds to Bind Chapter 51 – "Though I keep searching for an answer, I never seem to find what I'm looking for," –Whitesnake, Here I Go Again

April 1 – APOV

"So, are you covered if we go home?" Dad fiddles with his keys.

'Affirmative, sir! I informed Mom I don't need Christian to fly her here to take care of me. You and Laura don't need to stay and hold my hand. We were supposed to go bridesmaid dress shopping yesterday. Kate postponed our adventure to Thursday night. Bonner will protect me." I assure him.

"Without a weapon?" Dad questioned.

"She has a Taser, I have a gun and a conceal carry permit. Tomorrow she'll apply for one," I opened the front door. "Bonner, Dad wants to say goodbye."

"Thank you for saving my Annie," Dad shook her hand. "This is Laura Dennison, my fiancée."

"Ms. Dennison," Bonner shook her hand. "I've been read in by Heaton and Prescott. Miss Steele…"

"Ana…" I reminded her.

"Ana works from home this week. I'm removing her stitches Thursday at noon." Bonner replied. "I know I don't have Prescott's military training, but I practice mixed martial arts and specialize in Krav Maga. I have a kick-ass knife collection and am a wizard at wielding a knife. I will defend Ana."

"Thank you for watching over my Annie," Dad shook her hand goodbye. "I'll call you when we get to Montesano," Dad and Laura kissed me goodbye.

"Do you mind coming in?" I asked Bonner. "I'm reading for a bit and then we'll have dinner. I'm taking a shower and then calling it a night."

"Works for me," Bonner agreed. "I'll research a self-defense refresher course for you. Especially since we are surrounded by paparazzi out there."

"Monday is lunch with Ros Bailey at Capital Grille. Tuesday I have an appointment with my therapist, Mary Bayer, at the Women's Health Center. I'll Skype with Mom from her office. I'd like to introduce you to her. Wednesday my friends Shawn and Harley are coming to dinner. Thursday stitches, dinner with friends and bridesmaid gown shopping. I need you to take pictures of the dress we choose. Mom wants it via email before bed Thursday night. Friday dance lesson. Saturday is Spring Fling from eight to four. Sunday begins Easter Week. Dad and Laura will be here for dinner Saturday night. I want to take them on a cruise which has Easter buffet. If you can research and get tickets for four of us, I'd appreciate it." I watched her update my calendar in her phone, my phone and sync it with Prescott's phone.

"I'm making a run to the concierge desk," Bonner flashed a quick phone message at me. "They said there are flowers, messages, etc."

"I don't want the flowers. Arrange to have them delivered to Northwest Hospital, to common areas and nurses' stations. Take a picture of the bouquet and number the cards. I'll do a universal thank you when it's all over. I don't care about the messages, etc."

"In other words, use my best discretion," Bonner grinned. "I suggest you do an online thank you via Kavanagh Media. Kate and Mr. Kavanagh won't ask you a bunch of embarrassing questions."

"Wait until you meet Kate and learn otherwise."

April 2 – APOV

"First of all…are you alright?" Ros asked. We're eating steak Caesar salads at Capital Grille.

"Flesh wound, right thigh." I admitted. "The concussion is gone. I didn't hit my head as hard this time as I did at Halloween. I had a bad case of whiplash, however. Bonner has been massaging my neck to relieve the symptoms. Dad went home Sunday. Thank you for Prescott. She saved me in more ways than one."

"I read her report and your dad's comments. I'm in awe of you." Ros praised me. "Christian was pissed. Friday when he returned to GEH. He demanded I fire Prescott."

"Until Christian can talk decently to me, our communication ceases. No phones, no emails, no written notes, no Skyping and no face-to-face bullshit. I won't be yelled at," I declared. "Please thank Heaton for hiring Bonner. I appreciate her also."

"Please reconsider letting bodyguards drive you on weekends when your family is in town?" Ros requested.

"I don't have a choice. Dad wants someone following me or with me 24/7. He worries someone will copy Stephen Morton's actions and attempt to kidnap me." As I explain how much I hate paparazzi, Heaton strong arms some intrusive shutter bug away from our table. Prescott provides coverage and Ros and I roll our eyes at each other and finish our lunch.

"The launch was successful," Ros commented. "I've seen the preliminary reports. Grey Publishing performed better than expected."

"I saw the media coverage. I'm pleased for the author and for Mia. Kudos to both of them." I said sincerely. "However, constantly dealing with out-of-control crowds was exhausting. The Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce heard Christian was giving the opening address at the launch. I think he received thousands of messages from their members. Mia and her staff fielded complaints from people about how crowded the venues were."

"Heats, eats and seats," Ros quipped.

"What?" I didn't understand.

"If the only thing attendees complain about is heats (meaning temperature of meeting rooms or the temperature of the city), eats (food choices, times food is served, lousy food service, too many people at buffet, etc.) or seats (too hard, not enough, too many people standing, people packed in too tight), then you have a successful conference." Ros explained.

"Well, I know I'm bringing Converse and black jeans for the next launch, along with nice clothes. We were swamped…" I sighed and shook my head.

"You and Christian never left the suite when you got back to it?" Ros acknowledged. "I especially liked the picture of Day Two at the casino where Christian is rubbing your shoulders and your head is on the table in your arms."

"Taylor took him back to the Bellagio to work after his welcome speech. When Mia and I were done, Christian and Taylor came back to get us. We were both exhausted after six hours of crowds. Both venues, day two and three, filled a book box with delivered messages and phone calls. Taylor had the pleasure of sorting through all of them." I shook my head.

"I've been at 1500 attendee conferences which went from eight a.m. to midnight for two or three days. Sometimes I build in a day after just to recuperate, especially those New York jaunts. I love having Gwen at them to help me decompress, but it's so boring for her. She doesn't like shopping either. She'd rather read a good book, or visit a museum, art gallery, botanical garden or bookstore." Ros sighed. "I don't want to pry, but Prescott told Heaton there was a situation with a tacky animal print suitcase."

If I could interpret sign language…I'd think her air quotes were laughing. "I don't want to talk about suitcases or clothes," I apologized to Ros. "I do want to talk about how much it cost to fly Dad to Las Vegas and fly four of us from Las Vegas to Seattle."

"The costs were covered under Grey House's K&R insurance," Ros assured me. "We pay handsomely for the insurance. I'm glad to have it. But we must talk about you having round-the-clock protection."

"Just as long as I don't lose Prescott and Bonner. If I need more guards…I want women with Prescott and Bonner's abilities. I just hope Christian doesn't fire you because you won't fire Prescott."

"Christian doesn't dare fire me. I'm the only one who will tolerate his shit since you're not talking to him again. Good thing I'm his people person." Ros gave me the URL for the Seattle Networking Guide and suggests I join the Young Professionals Group. She says networking is essential to young women entering their field like Kate, Mia and me. She understands if the wedding is first and foremost until July 1. She strongly recommends getting away over the Fourth of July, after the wedding, to some place which re-energizes me. We make plans to go to lunch on April ninth after my 90-day employee evaluation. She asks again about the tacky animal print suitcase.

"I'm comfortable with the clothes I have." I snap.

"Did he pack anything special?" Ros pried.

"He has excellent taste in peignoirs. One of them was lavender and looked like a costume from a film noir movie." The bodice was intricate lace with matching lace collar and cuffs on the robe. The fitted thin satin skimmed my few curves. I enjoyed hanging out in our room wearing it. "I'm not comfortable with Christian acting all Alfred Hitchcock…telling me what to wear, who can be my friends, how I can defend myself and who can be my bodyguards. Plus, I won't endure him yelling at me."

"When he crosses a line, call him on it," Ros urged.

"Do you think I've been a bitch about the situation?" I asked. "I won't talk to him until he apologizes, in person, for yelling at me for defending myself."

"We all have our triggers. Christian especially. I think you are struggling to establish yourself in the shadow of a very bright, very driven, very well-known man. This is the first relationship for both of you right? Hell, I had a learning curve. I wanted Gwen more than I wanted anyone in my life…and she didn't want me because of the Grey House notoriety. I had to prove I could keep my work life and my love life separate. Oh my god…after two broken dates with her because of Grey House emergencies…I thought I was toast. Instead, I found how strong she is and not dependent upon me to entertain her. Heaton works with us on personal boundaries. Gwen doesn't want security walking in while she's semi-dressed. She doesn't let them tell her what to do, unless there is a situation at Grey House. Then she follows their lead, but she maintains her voice in the decisions regarding her safety."

"I recognize that trait." I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing.

"I had a conversation with Robb Loeder about the author letters. He researched both authors who wrote. Neither have had a book accepted for publishing in the past three years. Grey House Legal told them Grey Publishing does not want authors who support criminal acts committed by editors. They were urged to select another publishing house when they are ready to publish again. I think we've heard the last we'll hear from them. Legal says to let us know if it continues." Ros shared the information.

"Hannah and I believe they are one-hit wonders. I will be very surprised to see another book from either of them."

"Robb told me you submitted your two classes to him for reimbursement. Financial sent the paperwork over to me this morning. I authorized and sent it back. You should be reimbursed for your two classes before the end of April. Robb entered the classes with syllabi in your personnel jacket. We'll address them at your 90-day employee evaluation as part of your professional development."

April 3 – APOV

I Skype with Mom while eating dinner with Mary. Mary listens and offers advice, because it is not an easy conversation. Mom is livid about the tabloids. I tell her to quit reading them. Mom is upset about my being shot. I refused to drop trousers in Mary's office to show Mom the bandages on my thigh. The Skype disintegrates when Mom blames herself for bringing him into our lives, for my assault, and for his death. At the end of the Skype, Mary suggested Mom talk to a professional, like I was doing. She even offered to research and promised to email a list of the best therapists in Savannah.

"We have a task ahead of us," Mary warned. "You were very controlled but descriptive in your journal about the kidnapping attempt. We need to work through the issues. I noticed you feel the motives behind your kidnapping were monetary and revenge. You feel your ex-stepfather blamed you for your mother divorcing him, which was his motive for revenge. There may be long term effects – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There may be short term effects like bad dreams, trigger-caused headaches, fatigue, etc. You need to address effects as they arise."

"I know what you are saying…but I'm having trouble not being relieved about Stephen's death." I admit.

"Do you think you would have shot him if you could have gotten your hands on a gun?" Mary asked.

"I assured Dad I would have, but I really don't know." I admit. "I was told I broke his nose and ruptured one of his testicles. Part of me is vindictive. I wish he had writhed around in pain a bit longer before he was killed."

"While your answer is honest…I'm not sure it is truthful. I know you were scared, but you fought back. I know you were in pain, but fought back. I know you've played the event over and over in your head and wondered if there was something you could have done differently." Mary considered

"No more second guessing…it was what it was. I'm not Kate Middleton…I will not have an entourage of bodyguards." I would have stomped my foot like a 15-year-old Ana…but I remember I'm a young lady.

"Let's begin with a discussion of your life with Stephen Morton. Then we'll have a conversation about his life between the time your mother divorced him and his kidnapping attempt. I paid a private detective to research him. She talked to LV Metro. We need to discuss Bonner and her intervention. Then we need to discuss the media attention. Additionally, last but not least…we should discuss the effects of the kidnapping attempt on your relationship with Christian Grey."

XXX

"Who am I to question Fate?" I asked Mary. "The book launch had a huge draw because of Christian. The store constructed an outdoor marquee in a side parking lot because there were too many people for the store to accommodate them. The front parking lot was full. We parked in the employees parking area behind the store."

"Bonner's partner's order was ready for pick up. Because the front parking lot was full, they parked on a side street behind the store. They were both carrying their service revolvers. Stephen Morton attempted to stay sober, but he was suffering from tremors. Because he was impaired, I received a flesh wound instead of a serious, life threatening injury. I believe it was a crime of opportunity. I don't believe he would have kidnapped me if I had not been in Las Vegas. Means, motive and opportunity."

"My memory is impaired after Bonner flipped me over and took off my restraints. I remember she asked me if I was alright…but I don't remember anything else until I regained consciousness in the ER. So, memories of the EMTs, ambulance and early ER are not there. They might resurface. The doctor didn't seem concerned."

"You don't think you will have emotional issues? Fear, anxiety, panic, anger?" Mary asked.

"I'm sorry our down time was ruined by someone from my past…but it's not like I'm the only one who has a past!" I snap…and regret the comment because Mary's eyebrows are heaven bound. "I told you…I was a virgin; he had fifteen women before me. I was ambushed by one of them while I was doing my taxes. I think one of them was the bitchy saleswomen at a consignment store my friend likes."

"We need to talk about why you didn't journal it." Mary took notes. "But let's continue with Las Vegas."

"I am sorry Prescott was incapacitated for fifteen minutes. I'm sorry Dad dropped everything to be with me. I'm sorry it was my past which caused the situation. I am still angry with Christian for yelling at me. How can Christian yell at me about endangering myself by fighting back?" I huff.

"Are you the first woman who has exercised her second amendment rights around him?" Mary inquired.

"I think so." I affirm.

"Plus, you are not using his security people?" Mary questioned.

"Nope," I shrugged. "But he knows I fight back…the Halloween mugger got a black eye and bruised ribs."

"Do you think she was someone from his past?" Mary asked.

I nodded.

"Do you think you will experience social withdrawal because of this situation?" Mary asked.

"I don't think so. I had no problems going to lunch with a friend yesterday. I had no problem coming to see you tonight. Tomorrow night some friends are coming over for dinner. I just wish I could use the situation as a reason to opt out of bridesmaid gown shopping on Thursday." I laughed.

"If you feel hostile, or socially withdrawn, or have issues of hopelessness, or feel constantly edgy, we'll revisit this." Mary suggested.

"I will also journal if I stop eating or experience fatigue or extended illness, or have problems coping with basic hygiene and wellness. Dad works with returning veterans. I'm aware of the symptoms of PTSD." I pause. I will not think about the last Saturday in the red room of pain. "I'm sorry to miss Cassie's class last weekend. I have her syllabi about charities. I answered her questions in advance. They are in the journal."

I had the list of Cassie's You Tube videos for charity weekend. She emailed a list of questions for the videos. Video one: Examine your annual income. How important is making a lot of money? Video two: The pros and cons of prenuptial agreements. Under what circumstances would you want one? Video three: Establishing a budget in order to meet some of your life goals. Video four: How to have inexpensive fun if you are living on a strict budget. Video five: How to donate to charity when you are living on a strict budget. Video six: How to eat healthy on a strict budget. Video seven: How to stay healthy and exercise when you can't afford a gym membership.

Last weekend's classes were charity oriented…but the recent events in my life made the topic uncomfortable. I don't like people thinking I'm an easy payday for them. I don't like women thinking Christian will be theirs if they eliminate me. Yes, I felt physical pain the Saturday in the RROP…but not being with Christian, despite his issues, is more painful.

April 4

"Bonner is fun," Shawn observed after I introduced her to the boys. "Oriental food and chopsticks. Spring and fashion. Do you want me to go to the Northwest Rummage Sale and shop for you?"

"Absolutely," I confirm. "I need a spring and summer wardrobe and if you find spectacular fall and winter things I can't live without, please buy those too. When I'm on break from Spring Fling, I can try things on if you like. Some of my friends and coworkers will be there too. If you can help them also, it would be great."

We talked about Las Vegas and the launch. We talked about the pending SEC trials for Lincoln and Hyde. We talked about my attempted kidnapping. We stuffed ourselves with chicken chow mein and d General's Chicken, drank Tsing Tao beer and laughed over the fortune cookies. I gave them two take and bake lasagnas from my freezer for payment for shopping for me at Spring Fling, and for Shawn giving fashion advice to girlfriends. When they left, I took a hot shower and wished Bonner a good night.

April 5

Dinner was subdued…my leg is a little stiff. Bonner took out the stitches and then massaged scar cream into it. She recommended staying out of the sun this summer. She recommended liberal use of the scar cream. I'm depressed over not hanging out in the sun. She explains I can go out in the sun, but the scar has to be covered. Staying out of direct sun will reduce the scar, making it fade over time.

I told Kate and Mia I didn't want to discuss Christian and me in an open forum where there are too many nosy people milling around us. Not to mention the constant pictures being taken of us. I need to shop for another audio/visual disrupter I can put on the table when I'm out with family or friends. My last one was destroyed in the beer/water debacle. I hand a bag to Mia containing the clothes Cassie weeded from my spring wardrobe.

"I don't know what happened between Christian and you, but fix it before June twentieth or I'm kicking your ass and his balls," Kate threatened.

"Tell Mr. Grey not to yell at her after she's been hurt by defending herself!" Bonner steps in and snaps at Kate. Both Kate and Mia go radio silent on the topic of Christian for the rest of the night.

Bridesmaid dress shopping sucks. First, we wait for the sales staff to select all the dresses available in sapphire and amethyst. Then we eliminate the not quite sapphire or not quite amethyst. Before the sales staff take them to the dressing rooms, I ask if we can thin the number from twelve to less than six. Mia and Kate agree.

"No," Mia vetoes dress one. "I have a long torso and those ones with a 'natural' waist never fit properly." The saleswoman assigned to Mia attempts to argue. Mine knew better than to argue with me. Honestly, they acted like used car salesmen. At least Mia's saleswoman was thrilled with her height. Mine just looked at my diminutive state and sighed. I gave Kate a withering look.

"No," I veto dress two. "I'm not wearing a strapless and backless gown. Especially since I walk with Christian. Unless you want me to wear his tuxedo jacket down the aisle and in every picture, rethink this option. I don't need to email him a picture of it, do I?" Kate rolls her eyes at the thought.

Dress three is vetoed by Kate. "I've been a bridesmaid and I know an ugly bridesmaid gown. Not just no, but hell to the no, I'm not making either of you wear that gown." The mermaid style gown boasts a mandarin collar. Kate vetoes four, five and six in rapid succession. She thinks the satin looks cheap in all of them and mutters something about boudoir bridesmaids.

I veto number seven. "No crotch-high side slits. I wouldn't dare wear it in a church! The nuns would throw us in a baptismal somewhere and drown us for being slutty." Dress seven bites the dust.

"No," Mia vetoed dress number eight. "The illusion neckline looks… weird. I hate the asymmetrical hem. The side point is just waiting to catch my heel and throw me to the ground."

One of the saleswomen takes the remaining four gowns to one dressing room for me and the other takes matching gowns to a dressing room for Mia. The only redeeming factor of today's events is we're in a private dressing area and Kate ordered Sawyer, Anders and Bonner to stand outside. The media won't make it past them.

"No," Mia grimaces when we model dress nine which is a ruched hip gown. "My ass looks huge."

"No," I refuse dress number ten. "I look like a twelve-year old trying on Mom's clothes."

Mia is happy I vetoed it. "The built in bra doesn't fit right," She wiggles and squirms. Ten decorates the dressing room floor as quick as possible.

"No," I eliminate number eleven. "Tea length gowns make me look like my legs are twelve inches long."

"Wow!" Kate said when Mia and I both exited the dressing room in a sleeveless, V-neck, ruched bodice, satin and tulle gown.

"I vote yes," I stand before the three panel mirror and twirl. "This is the first gown I've tried on today which makes me feel feminine without exposing all my girly parts."

"I vote yes," Mia copies my actions. "This is the first gown I've tried on today which doesn't make me look like a giant stick figure."

Kate takes pictures of us from all angles and we're all in agreement. We can eat and drink at the wedding without popping seams. The skirt is full enough to be perfect for dancing. Kate says she'll get us the jewelry for it as our bridesmaid gifts. She knows exactly what she wants us to wear.

We're back in the dressing room for measurements and pay the deposits on the gowns. We'll pay the remainder when the dresses arrive in eight weeks. Kate says Celeste wants to do the final fittings for us so we're assured the dresses fit properly. Kate says since I'm four inches shorter than her and Mia's four inches taller, we all need to wear 3-inch heels to be the same amount of space apart in the pictures. I think it is more micromanagement, but it is Kate's wedding and I guess she needs something to bridezilla about. Saturday is spa day. Maybe we'll shop for shoes next week.

I feel bone weary before arriving home around ten o'clock. I warn Bonner I'm sleeping in tomorrow morning. Bonner suggests we go to Target Rippers so I can target practice. I agree if we can go to a bookstore, a tea shop and Pike Place Market. I need to lay in supplies before Dad and Laura spend the week with me.

April 6 – 3PPOV

"Thank you for getting my things and putting them in storage. Thank you for giving me a ride from jail." Jack lit a cigarette after fucking Elizabeth as hard, fast and rough as possible. She seemed to think he was excited to see her. He was glad to be the fuck out of jail.

"What are you going to do," Elizabeth was grateful for a rest before they began another vigorous round of sex.

"What can I do? I was set up for the SEC bullshit by Anastasia Steele and fired by her fucking boyfriend. He hired an IT person to analyze my work laptop, which meant he had access to plant any material on it he wanted. Then his fucking mother has me thrown out of a pub. Before I can call you to say I wasn't in any condition to drive to your house, she has me followed home and arrested for DUI."

"Why didn't you fight the DUI arrest," Elizabeth pried.

"Seattle's a damn college town. Frat boys get rowdy weekend after weekend. I drive buzzed once in a blue fucking moon and I'm arrested and jailed. I am denied bail for the DUI because I was out on bail for the SEC charge. The damn police officer asked if I had been drinking. I stupidly admitted I had two drinks with lunch. He makes me perform a drunk driving test which would have killed an Olympic gymnast. I am handcuffed in the back of a police car twice in less than two fucking weeks…and the officer doesn't understand why I'm pissed off and swearing."

Elizabeth made them drinks and came back to bed.

"I sit in the fucking drunk tank for 24 hours. My building manager used my two arrests as a reason to break my lease. When I was arraigned, I knew I had no place to go. My funds were frozen by the SEC. All I had for funds was my severance check from Grey Publishing. I couldn't afford to pay a DUI lawyer, or have funds to hire an SEC lawyer. The DUI was 90 days, the SEC charge could be as much as a decade or two. I was depressed and pled guilty. I can't afford to go to a doctor for evaluation to fight this because I lost my insurance when I lost my job. Someday I might laugh about this. I never thought being buzzed would get me thrown in jail."

"This situation is not a deal breaker for me. I found a job, not a great job, but it has potential. I can hire you and send you out on the best possible positions." Elizabeth offered.

"I've been contemplating relocation during my recent incarceration," Jack revealed. "We need to get new identities and back stories. We need to sell off everything so we have funds. We need to find someplace to go."

"Between my savings in Virginia and my severance check I banked, I have enough funds to buy us new identities, with new back stories. We can relocate and have enough funds for twelve months. You can investigate any job, any career and make a go of it. I could teach at a business college or work HR in a small town somewhere. I could own a staffing agency somewhere after everything I've learned from my current job. Should we start over? Where could we start over?"

"We should change hair colors and wear color contacts when we change identities. I thought strawberry blonde for me and maybe sable brown for you. We will ditch cars, phones, computers, etc. I can get laptops and burner phones. We can use the WIFI at the UDub library for researching locations, jobs, etc. We must go dark cyber on the identification search."

"Jack is a nickname for Jonathan. You could be a Jonathan. I could be Elle or Liza for Elizabeth. I hate Betsy, Beth, Lizzie and Bess…" Elizabeth commented.

"We can't choose Chicago because of the proximity to Detroit where Grey is doing business. We can't choose Denver because of the proximity to Aspen where he has a home. We can't choose New York because Grey travels there for business and gave his sister his interest in clubs and restaurants."

"This is the time for us to cross things off our bucket list. I've always wanted to visit Alaska and Mexico. We'll be happier and healthier if we get the hell out of Washington." Elizabeth practically bounced with anticipation.

"I've always wanted to see Australia," Thoughts and ideas flooded Jack's head. "List every place you have family, friends, worked or attended school. I'll do the same thing. Check the author list; we can't be in proximity to them either. We'll compile a possible list of places to land."

"We need to research the community and cultural life where we go. The location has to be big enough so we can get lost." Elizabeth opined.

"I wouldn't mind living near the ocean, east coast, southern – maybe North or South Carolina." Jack suggested.

"North Carolina is too close to my family. Raleigh is just a few hours from Richmond." Elizabeth shook her head.

"I hate the desert and Las Vegas has a high rate for fugitive recovery thanks to facial recognition programs in the casinos and strip cameras. I'm hell at counting cards." Jack shrugged.

"We could finance an expedition to Lake Tahoe or Reno to increase our nest egg," Elizabeth secretly hoped for a honeymoon trip. "We can also hit the riverboats in Iowa."

"I don't have family looking for me. Are you prepared to never speak to your parents again? We don't need your parents or sister looking for you. You should contact them before we go underground and let them know we're fine and not to look for us."

"We have no real responsibilities and debts. We can pack a bag and leave the morning we have new identities," Elizabeth noted. "We should list all our assets – including cars, furniture, jewelry, my house, bank accounts, etc. My Virginia bank is a national one; it will be easy to access my funds via electronic transfer."

"Did anything ever happen with the letter you sent to the authors, urging them to demand Anastasia Steele be fired?" Jack questioned Elizabeth.

"Not a thing. Two of them sent replies. They have chosen to work with the electronic publishing editor at GP. He seems to be popular with them." Elizabeth said in a soothing voice. "Steele's stepfather tried to kidnap her for ransom. He was shot and killed by a Las Vegas police officer."

"Ransom? Really," Jack closed his eyes and appeared to rest so Elizabeth could not see the gleam of contemplation in his eyes.

"Yeah, national tabloids are claiming she was working with her ex-stepfather to shake Grey down. The press surrounding her hasn't been pretty."

XXX – APOV

Prescott informs me Mr. Grey requests I come to Escala after dance class. He wants to have a conversation. I inform Prescott I'm going home after class, taking a hot soaking bath and going to bed. I don't want company. I don't want to be disturbed. Bonner stays in my living room to ensure I'm not bothered tonight. I tell her Christian and I need to have the meltdown conversation. I don't want a public or electronic apology. However, I don't trust myself to be alone with him right now. I'm angry about the tabloids calling me a scheming whore. I'd like to blow up the tabloids. It would probably be best if he weren't caught in the backlash.

Thank god for shopping on Amazon. Cassie recommended 3-inch heels and a long skirt so I get used to moving and dancing in them for the wedding. She said I need to practice walking in heels when wearing a long dress. Great…more walking practice. She recommends sitting and standing lessons in a long skirt.

Dance class is distressing. Everyone is interested in checking me out since the kidnapping attempt. I introduce Prescott to the instructor. She's not thrilled about Prescott inside the classroom and not dancing. Prescott informs the instructor she is my close protection detail and therefore, does not dance. She is calm and stands between me and the doorway. Dance class concentrates on the waltz.

The only thing I enjoy about class is the older man, Tom S., who appreciates dancing with me. He offers to partner with me. I agree to Friday night or Saturday morning lessons with Wednesday night practice. Tom explains he's learning to dance because his daughter is getting married in May. He wants his dancing prowess to be a surprise for his wife and daughter. I tell him I'm learning how to dance for my best friend's wedding. I promise to keep his secret. He promises not to ask me questions about my personal life.

XXX

There was no one in the ballroom except Christian and me. I enjoyed how good and strong his arms felt, holding me. His breath stroked my ear and tickled my neck…making me warmer…he was combusting my panties without saying a word. I never felt more like a woman than I did right now…in his arms. We were dancing alone and then the ballroom began to fill with other women…women who wanted to dance with Christian and while Sawyer kept them away from us…Elena Lincoln danced in…wearing a red, salsa dress...

I woke…pissed off. What is she doing in my dreams?

April 7 – CPOV

"You're sure you're prepared for this?" Sela hesitated. "I can find an easier touch exercise for you."

"I want to try this," I assured her. "I need to know if I can stand to be around people and be touched. I have less than 90 days before the wedding."

"Here you go then, Harvey," Sela handed me a white rabbit costume. "Bring it back late this afternoon. My husband needs it for the Easter Bunny appearance at Seattle Children's Hospital tomorrow. Thank you for taking his place today."

I was working at the Spring Fling at WSCC, letting kids hug me, and take pictures with me. The rabbit head would cover my face. Sela recommended skiving down to socks, boxer shorts and T-shirt. If I needed a bodyguard, I had Taylor and Sawyer hovering by.

XXX

Anastasia is a goddess. I can't help it, I find myself wandering around the event, stopping to pose with parents and children. She's wearing the lovely watercolor print dress, lilac sweater and lilac pumps. Her hair is French-braided with a poufy purple hair tie holding it in place. She wears pearl stud earrings. I enjoy walking around, watching her interact with the children. She's reading The Night Before Easter to the crowd. Taylor brought Sophie. Prescott has eyes on Anastasia, but maintains a ten-foot distance from her…probably at Anastasia's insistence.

Fate arranges for her to disappear at break times while I'm inundated with families and children to take pictures. She always comes back at the top and bottom of the hour to read to the children.

I'm busy walking around outside, waving hello to the children and parents. I stop to take a picture with Taylor and Sophie. Anastasia uses Taylor's cell phone to get several pictures. Taylor buys sandwiches and drinks and they sit at an outdoor table, enjoying the sun. Sophie and Ana have a good time talking to one another about spring and Earth Day. Her lunch hour is over and she hugs Sophie goodbye, kisses Taylor on the cheek and prepares to leave. I don't want her to know I'm wearing the rabbit suit, but she's heading for the door with a crowd of people. I can't get away.

"You've been very quiet, Sawyer," She grins and gracefully enters the building. "No dancing with me today?"

I shake my head no and point to the big paw feet.

"Those are two big left feet, Sawyer. You ought to take dance classes with me. We can be awkward together." She laughed and walked away.

God, I could watch her ass forever. I hold the door for lots of families and people with arms loaded with things they bought at Northwest's Rummage Sale. I've lost sight of Anastasia so I head for the Fourth Floor.

Before it approaches the top of the hour, Ana comes from the Northwest Rummage sale with Harrison and Stanton. She asks Prescott to escort them to her car. Stanton has been shopping for Anastasia at the rummage sale. Both he and Harrison each carry six large shopping bags filled with clothes. I hear his talk about clothes which he found for her. He tells her about a raspberry square-necked, cap sleeve sheath dress and a turquoise silk spaghetti-strap slip dress he found. He says either of them will be great for wearing to wedding showers. Why the fuck does he get to select clothes for her and I can't?

She tells them about the mentor who examined her spring wardrobe capsule and urged her to continue working on it. They all roll their eyes and laugh. She tells them about new items in her wardrobe from clearing out Kate's closets. Shawn tells her he'll do all the work on her wardrobe binders if she will make lasagna for them. She tells them she'll send them the dates she's available to meet. Shawn mentions the hot boy Christian Grey. Ana tells him to STFU and inclines her head in my direction. "The mummy," she murmurs. There is no more talk about Christian Grey.

I follow them onto the elevator and overhear her tell them she learned how to write and deliver the Maid of Honor speech at Kate and Elliot's wedding. She's in the process of assembling pictures for it. Fuck…I need to work on my best man speech. I know Dad will help me but I need to make a serious effort before I throw myself on his mercies.

She tells them she has dance lessons. She had one last night. In April she is supposed to learn the waltz and foxtrot. She has Wednesday and Friday night classes on the weeks she is busy on Saturday. In May she learns the quickstep and the two-step. She says she has to take Wednesday night classes in May, because Saturday mornings in May are for the bridal party and parents to learn to dance with one another. WTF…there go our date nights. Prescott told Taylor about Ana's May conversation comment. I don't want to wait so long, but I'd better plan on immersing myself in work if she won't talk to me.

The guys offer to have oriental food with her once a month to keep her practicing using chopsticks. She reminds them about her schedule. She's taking Ray and Laura on a sightseeing cruise for Easter tomorrow. Harrison and Stanton offer to go also. She says she'll text them the information. We all get off on the first floor. I wander around families congregated on the first floor, trying to keep an eye on her. She looks over her shoulder at me and nods to Prescott. She gets back in the elevator with me and goes to the Northwest sale. She sits at a table with friends while Prescott takes the men to her car.

XXX

"Bake sale," Prescott announced. "The Seattle Prep PTA is hosting a bake sale in the lobby. I brought samples. I thought you could grab a few dozen of their mini cupcakes for your afternoon tea trays."

"Did you taste test any of them?" My mouth waters.

"I'm fond of the sweet potato pie cupcake, the strawberry champagne cupcake and the blueberry lemon cupcake." She pointed at three of them. "I brought at least one of the best sellers," she pointed at cupcakes. "This is the peanut butter cupcake with chocolate frosting, carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, s'more cupcake, root beer float cupcake, red velvet cupcake and a bubble gum cupcake."

"If you get eight dozen assorted cupcakes, I can feed them to family and friends during the week. I want red velvet, strawberry champagne, peanut butter, and the carrot cake ones for sure." I handed her some money. "Will you bring me a lime water when you come back?"

XXX

"We have a visitor," Ana announced to the children. She pointed at me. "Come join us, Easter Bunny," she set another chair close to her. "We're reading all about you." She fidgets and then settles, giving a book talk about The Great Easter Egg Hunt.

When she's done, she moves away and urges parents to get pictures of the children with me against the spring backdrop of her reading nook. She wanders off and I can't follow because I'm taking pictures with families. We're nearing the end of the day and she wanders back with Kate and Mia. They are taking a short break. She gathers her books in a tote bag which promotes the library and waves goodbye to me.

When all the families are done with me, I wander over to the Northwest sale. Ana is talking to coworkers who are clothes shopping. She monitors a table where they've piled things which they plan to buy. She keeps waving off shoppers who think the stuff she's guarding is for sale. Eventually her friends wander back with more clothes in hand. They sort their individual piles and then go to checkout. They are talking about things to do but Ana's dad is in town and she has plans. Suddenly she freezes and turns to look at Kate and Mia. She spots Sawyer in a corner and slowly turns to observe me. Prescott follows her gaze and shakes her head when Ana asks her a question.

Once her friends check out, Ana leaves with them. She examines me. "I should have called you Little GREY Bunny instead of Easter Bunny."

I hold my paws up in an IDK gesture.

"Little Grey Bunny, classic 1960s UK children's story. Little Grey Bunny can't help herself…she's well-meaning but she meddles." Ana regards me solemnly. "Why are you following me, Christian? Working up the courage to apologize for your stalking and control freak tendencies? I wish you would learn to trust me. I'm just here with friends and doing a good deed. I haven't played hide and seek once with Prescott." She turned toward the stairs with her friends.

I took my costume head off. "Ana, I'm not here to follow and track you. I'm not here to meddle in your life either. I'm here as a touch therapy exercise. You can verify with John if you don't trust me." I put the head back on.

"I'm sorry if I wrongly accused you, this time." Ana apologized and exited with Prescott and friends.

I wander over to Mom and capture her in a big bunny hug. She's quite surprised, but I tell her who I am and she laughs. She reminds me – we are due at church tomorrow with the Kavanaghs. Elliot and Kate want to stay in good graces with the church until the wedding. After church Mom's serving a ham buffet at the house with the Kavanaghs and all grandparents from both sides of the family. She said Mia asked Ana and her family, but they have plans.

Great… I don't know when I will see Ana. Ray and Laura are in town. We don't have dance practice for Elliot's surprise this afternoon because Elliot and Kate have marriage class. I'm going home, beating the fuck out of the kick boxing dummy, and comforting myself with macaroni and cheese.

XXX – APOV

"I realize Mother is a great trophy wife…but she and I have issues over her mothering techniques. Since I'm not Christian's arm candy in the daily papers or media, Mother is upset again. She blames herself for the situation with Stephen. She insists she fly to Seattle to discuss it with Christian. If I were nine…you might wonder if Dad wanted to marry you to provide me with a mother. I don't want Mom or me to be the reason you won't marry Dad," I told Laura.

"I love him, Ana. I want to be with him. I believe we are good for each other. Just to ease your concerns…I like you. I have friends who have hideous relationships with their spouses' children. I'm thrilled you and I are friends." Laura hugs me. "I'm also glad my intermittent presence at Ray's house means Carla emails instead of calling at all hours of the day."

"I'm glad also," I returned her hug.

"By the way, we forgot to mention it, but Ray and I found another box in the attic. The box is labeled Tea. We put it on your dining room table. We've been spending a minimum of two hours each Saturday and Sunday clearing out his stuff and my stuff so we can consolidate households. Basically, we have two of everything. We've donated a lot to the VFW for their July rummage sale. We brought the last of your clothes and books; they are in boxes in the home office. There is also a footlocker of memorabilia also. There's one more box, but I don't want to tell you what is in it. Ray wants it to be a surprise."

"Wow, Just…wow." The Tea box held a teapot, a coffee pot, a sugar and creamer, 12 cups and saucers, 12 cake/salad plates, 12 berry dishes, a two-tier hostess tray and a 13" oval platter. They are all in the Johann Haviland Blue Garland pattern. "Damn, I want to throw a tea party all of a sudden."

"Okay, box number two," Laura indicated the box at the end of the table. I opened it and began to unwrap a large bulky object. "The punchbowl! OMG!" I gingerly set a ruby glass punchbowl on the table. Circa 1940, the punch bowl has a stand, 12 cups, glass S hooks for holding the cups on the side of the punchbowl and a ladle. "I haven't seen this in years."

"Ray thought Carla took it when she left. He was surprised to find it and the other two pieces." One is the ruby glass oval plate Mom used for holiday cookies. The other piece is a ruby glass candy dish Mom used for holiday candies. When she was with Dad, she made dozens of cookies and handmade candies every Christmas for giving to teachers, Sunday school teachers, mail carriers, paper carriers, school bus driver, etc. She saved $10 a week from her commissary funds to pay for baking and candy-making supplies at Christmas. "When we would put up the tree, she would serve homemade eggnog, cookies and candies and use these pieces. I have the perfect place to put it in the china hutch."

"I'm supposed to give you the 'don't save it for special occasions' lecture. I'm supposed to tell you to make your own special occasions and use the china and punchbowl. Make sweet memories with them to pass down to your children." Laura advised. "Ray didn't think he could say it to you without breaking down."

"Yeah, he's great with the tea…not the talk." I smiled.

"He talks, trust me." Laura confided. "I finished making things out of the cutter quilt. I made two toss pillows, eight placemats: a table runner and a hexagon-shaped mat for either the coffee table or the dining table, half a dozen pot holders, two candle mats and an apron with a quilted bib. I had such a good time making these. I'm searching for two more cutter quilts to make items for the VFW Black Friday sale. I apologize, they won't coordinate with your shabby chic dinnerware and they are too casual for the Haviland. You may need to get plain dinnerware in order to use them. Sorry…I know how much you hate shopping."

"Amazon is my savior," I declare. "Why don't I pack the shabby chic dishes? Dad can take them to the VFW rummage sale over July Fourth. I can use the good china or paper plates until the new stuff comes from Amazon."

"I'll help you pack and mark them," Laura offered. "How are dance classes going?"

"Two steps forward, one step back," I replied dryly. "After we pack the kitchen things, will you help me put away the clothes Shawn selected at the rummage sale?"

XXX – TPOV

"Burgers and beers," My SPD friend texted. I text back I'll meet him at the usual place at seven, I have my daughter until six tonight. I hope he has excellent Elena Lincoln news for me. I hope SPD will have excellent Jack Hyde news also.