AN- Apologies in advance, but (spoiler for this chapter) we have to get through one last bit of unpleasantness before our pair can finally be happy. Hopefully, it will be worth it!
The sun was beginning to set as the pair strolled towards Will's house, eating their chips with little wooden forks. Both their daemons were curled up inside Will's bag. They finished the chips off, and Will let Lyra eat the little crispy ones that were left at the end after she had said they were her favourite, even though they were his favourite too. After they'd thrown the packaging away, they took one another's hand without thinking about it, Will's injured hand in Lyra's uninjured one. She ran her thumb along his fingers, and the space where two of his fingers used to be, and felt in her heart an immense sense of comfort.
"I think my housemates are having people round tonight since it's the Friday before half term." Will said. "They can get a little... rowdy. If we run into them I'll say you're my friend from when we were kids and you left to go to university somewhere else - abroad maybe - and you've come to visit me for the holidays."
"Ok, sounds good," Lyra nodded as they approached a row of relatively run-down terraced houses. "Students" was Will's explanation for their state, which Lyra found odd - students are of a certain class. They wouldn't live in this sort of place, or at the very least they'd have the servants fix it up for them. Before she could ask Will about this, he was letting go of her hand and reaching into his pocket for his keys. He opened the blue front door of, fortunately, Lyra thought, one of the more decent looking houses, and they entered into a hallway with two doors and staircase coming off it.
"Ok we'll just try and sneak straight upstairs to my room," Will whispered, "but-"
"Hello!" A cheery voice interrupted him, and the head of a dark-haired, smiley girl about their age popped around one of the doorframes.
"Hi, Amy," Will replied.
"Will's back guys!" she called to whoever else was in the room with her. Lyra could hear some muffled cheers and the sound of some strange music playing. "Come on then!" Amy said, to Will again this time, gesturing that he and Lyra follow her.
"We'll get away as quickly as possible," Will whispered. Lyra was just glad they had sent Pan and Kirjava through the back garden to enter Will's bedroom through the window.
"What kind of music is that?" she asked Will, perplexed, as they walked towards the room.
"Oh that's… that's rap." Will chuckled.
Before she could enquire any further, they had entered what appeared to be the living room. The furniture was all mismatched and there were empty beer cans and bottles scattered about the surfaces. The distinctive smell of smoke and alcohol weighed heavily on the air despite there being an open window. There were seven people in the room in total, one of whom being the girl Lyra now knew to be Amy, one of Will's housemates. Lyra could tell that she and at least a couple of the others were quite tipsy.
"Alright, mate?" asked a tall boy with ashy blond hair who was squashed into a space much too small for him on the sofa.
"Yeah cheers," Will replied, raising his voice to be heard over the music. "This is my friend Lyra, she's visiting me for the holidays."
There were murmurs of greeting, and a couple of the boys introduced themselves as Hasan and Jack, Will's other housemates.
Amy, however, said "wait, what? The Lyra?"
"What do you mean 'the Lyra'?" the blond boy asked her.
"You know, the one he went out with at school! The one he goes on and on about every time he gets too drunk," she said as though it was obvious. In her drunken state, she didn't notice Will's other housemates shaking their heads at her, willing her to stop talking. "Remember when we tried to set him up with that girl Georgie and after a few beers that weekend he was all like 'she's nice but she's not Lyra-"
"Ok, Amy, I think you might've had enough to drink now," interrupted Jack with a laugh as he grabbed her can of beer from her hands in an attempt to distract her.
No, Lyra thought, her heart soaring, let her keep drinking if she's going to keep saying things like that.
Everyone laughed as Amy protested having her drink taken, and Will laughed along with them, but Lyra could see that what Amy had said had made him blush.
"Are you two coming out with us tonight?" another girl asked. "We're meeting the others and going into town soon."
"Nah I think we're going to give it a miss. Maybe next time," Will said, taking Lyra's hand and pulling her towards the stairs.
"It was nice to meet you all!" Lyra called over her shoulder as they all shouted some variation of goodbye to her.
"Sorry about that," Will said once they were up the stairs and outside his bedroom door.
"It's ok. They all seem friendly, and like they know how to have a good time," she laughed.
"They are and they do, but right now all I want to do is talk to you and look at you and just be here with you before I wake up and realise it's all been a dream."
"It's not a dream," Lyra said, "but that's what I want to do too."
Will smiled at her and pushed open the door to his room. Curled up together on the checked duvet of his double bed were Pantalaimon and Kirjava. Lyra dropped her bag and took off her coat as she looked around at the items in his room, some familiar, some strange, and some which she recognised vaguely from her previous time in this world but couldn't quite place. She noticed a computer, or some sort of similar device, on his desk beside stacks of medical textbooks. He had decorated his walls with postcards and photographs, and a string of anbaric lights were hung over his bed.
Will was still stood in the doorway, watching her look around his room, suddenly full of nerves.
"So you've told people about me?" she asked as she inspected some ornaments on his bookcase, hoping to appear nonchalant.
"Kind of. How could I not? I didn't tell them the truth obviously, but I said I knew a girl called Lyra a few years ago and she had to move far away. I know I probably shouldn't have but I thought about you so much, I had to mention you in some capacity, to my friends at least. Though I didn't realise just how much I talk apparently, or that they'd remember so well." She could hear the blush in his voice and suppressed a grin.
"I suppose there's no harm in it," she said, trying to keep her voice casual, looking up from the ornaments and at where Will stood across the room. He quickly looked away. It seemed that since their passionate reunion, something had shifted. There was now an awkwardness, a tension, as though neither knew how far to push the other, or how open to be. She could tell he was slightly embarrassed about what his friend had said, but she also felt it had something to do with them being in his bedroom. She'd been in a couple of boys' rooms before and there was always that awkward first minute or so where you're finally alone but neither person knows quite what to say, or where to sit, or if they're reading the other's signals correctly.
"Would you like a drink?" Will asked suddenly, "or more food or anything?"
"I'd have a drink," Lyra replied, "if your housemates haven't finished everything off."
"I've got some wine hidden at the back of my cupboard, hopefully they won't have found it." He went downstairs and arrived back shortly with a bottle of screw-top red wine and two mugs. "Sorry, the wine was still there but we're out of wine glasses."
Lyra laughed. University life here seemed a very different affair to in her world. She imagined scholars drinking wine from mugs in the hall at Jordan College, or squashing into mismatched couches and armchairs in someone's living room. That sounded more like an evening with the gyptians.
She perched on the edge of Will's bed as he handed her a mug of wine, and Pan crawled up onto her lap. Will spun his desk chair to face her and sat down as Kirjava hopped down from the bed and made herself comfortable at his feet. Lyra didn't like the distance, and she was about to reassure him that he shouldn't worry about what Amy had said, and that although she hadn't told her friends about him, she had thought of him all the time too, but he spoke before she could.
"So, are you going to tell me now? This window, your journey, I don't even know where to start - what were you doing in the desert to begin with?" he asked as Lyra began to sip her wine.
"It's a long story," she looked down awkwardly at Pan.
"We can tell them," Pan prompted her.
Lyra took a deep breath and began to explain all that had happened to lead her to that spot in the desert, including her and Pan separating. She skipped over the attack on the train again; she'd tell him about it eventually, but she didn't want to make things more awkward with such a horrible story. It took her a long time, but she also told him about her trip across his world right up until she got to the moment earlier that day when he had found her in the Botanic Garden.
"It was… an ordeal. But I'm here. And Pan and I are back together now," she finished her story, looking fondly at Pan. "Things aren't perfect but we talked a lot on our way here and we both think it was because…" she trailed off.
"What?" Will prompted, but Lyra hesitated. She didn't want to admit that the pain between them had been partially caused by the pain they each felt for missing him and Kirjava. How missing him these past few years had almost ruined her life. It made her feel pathetic.
Will seemed to understand what she was getting at though, and he pushed his own nerves aside to reassure her.
"Lyra without you, I was… it was like something was missing all the time, like I had an empty space. Sure I tried to get on with life, I had to, and it hasn't been all bad. But everything, even the good times, have been tainted. The sunniest days have been tinged grey because you weren't in them. We're just lucky, Kirjava and I, that we let that feeling bring us closer to each other rather than drive us apart. It could've gone either way."
Lyra felt tears welling in her eyes. Tears of sadness that her's and Pan's relationship had suffered so, but also of happiness that after all this time, all the wondering, Will had been feeling the same about her as she had about him. It was an immense relief to know he felt like this after the tension that had hung over them ever since they had been alone in his room.
She had imagined being reunited with Will countless times and it had never gone quite like it had today. In her head they always immediately professed their never-ending love for each other and swore to never leave each other again and showered each other with kisses.
Often, she had found herself wanting to imagine more than kissing, but it had been difficult, as the Will in her head was still a young teenager. As much and she strained to imagine him grown up, she could never quite perfect it. It had always felt particularly cruel to her that she couldn't have so much of a glimpse of him as an adult. Her main motivation for learning to read the alethimoeter again was so that she could ask it how he was and what he was doing, but even that wouldn't have been able paint her a picture of what he looked like. Now however, here he was, across the room from her, with the same fiery eyes and strong stature he'd always had, but also all the markings of a grown man. He was more perfect than she could've imagined, and she burned for him.
"Will," she breathed, placing her now empty mug down and standing up.
Will got to his feet too and they both stood, looking at each other, frozen. He wanted nothing more than to close the space between them, to take her into his arms and kiss her, but he couldn't be sure that she wanted that too. If he was right about how she had acquired her injuries, he was worried that being kissed might be the last thing she would want. She might not want anyone to touch her. But god, he wanted to touch her. He thought that maybe he should just ask, but he imagined the question "can I kiss you?" coming out of his mouth and cringed.
He watched her as she stood looking at him, doe-eyed, tucking her bobbed hair behind her ears, and he decided there was nothing else for it. The amount of times he had imagined being with her again… he needed her. He didn't care how it stupid sounded, he had to ask. "Lyra-" he got out, but was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. He had heard his housemates and their friends leave some time ago so knew there was no one else to get it. Lyra turned her head in the direction of the sound.
"Just ignore it," Will said urgently, not caring about anything outside of whatever was passing between the two of them in this moment, but then the doorbell rang again. And again. And again. "Fuck," he snapped. "Give me one second."
He ran out of the bedroom door and Lyra heard his footsteps quickly disappear down the stairs. "Uh, Lyra!" she heard him call after a couple of seconds. Confused, she followed him down the stairs and to the front door. Standing in the garden, a few steps back from the door, was Doctor Polestead.
"Lyra," he said, his voice full of relief, and something else that Lyra couldn't place.
"Doctor Polestead!" she exclaimed. She was shocked to see him, but more than anything she was concerned - she hadn't expected anyone to know she was here.
"Can I speak with you alone for a minute?" he asked.
Will looked at Lyra for confirmation before slowly stepping back inside. Lyra could see Asta looking behind her for Pan, but Pan had remained upstairs, not wanting to be away from Kirjava.
"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Lyra asked.
"I'd been trying to catch up with you the whole time you were away. I was never far behind. I asked around about a daemon-less girl and it wasn't too hard to find you - people remember someone like that. Your guide showed me the area you had ran off to and eventually I found the window. Oakley Street are well aware of your past inter-universe travels. It's my first time in a new world myself, and it hasn't been easy, but I knew where you were likely to come. Tracking you to this particular house was tricky but once I looked through my notes and found the name of your…. friend, it wasn't too difficult."
"But why are you here?" She asked, scared she already knew the answer.
"I'm here to bring you back, Lyra. I can't let you stay here."
Any pleasantness she may have initially felt upon seeing him had now totally vanished. "What do you mean you can't let me?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just you're not safe here."
"You're wrong. Here, with Will, this is the safest I've ever been. The only way I could be safer is if Iorek Byrnison lived in the back garden." Hearing the defensive tone of her voice, she sighed and tried to calm herself a little. After all, he only meant well. "Please, Malcolm. I appreciate all your help and all you've done for me, truly, but for now, I'm staying here, and you should go home."
"But you'll die if you stay here, Lyra," he pleaded.
"I know. And I might return to our world one day, but that's my decision and my decision alone. I'm an adult, Malcolm. I know what's best for me."
"But there's so much going on in our world Lyra - what about the roses? What about-"
Lyra simply shook her head at him, and he gave up.
"Fine," he said, "but I have to tell you something before I go. It might change your mind, it might not, but regardless, you need to know."
"Go on," she looked at him, bewildered. Malcolm took a deep breath.
"Lyra. I am in love with you. Madly. I - I can't stop thinking about you. All I care about is your happiness and safety. I need you to come home with me, Lyra. I love you." The words came pouring out of him, and with each, Lyra's face grew more incredulous.
"But… but you're my teacher," she said simply. There was more she wanted to say but her head was spinning with confusion.
"Not anymore. I wish you could stop looking at me like that, as your teacher. Yes, I used to be your teacher, which is why I couldn't tell you then, but-"
"Then?" Lyra interrupted. "Then? You… you felt like this then too? When you taught me?" she asked quietly.
"Not exactly, I didn't let myself of course, you were too young, you…"
Lyra didn't hear another word of what he was saying. She had to steady herself against the doorframe as a wave of emotion similar to what she felt after she was attacked on the train washed over her. Betrayal. That's what she felt. Utter betrayal. She had been betrayed before, by friends, boys, even by her own parents. But this was a different kind. There was something else too - violation. It had not been physical like the men on the train, but all this time she had trusted this man, first as a teacher, now as someone older and wiser than her who had cared for her. She had trusted him in the same way she had trusted Lee Scorsby and Iorek Byrnison, almost as much. She was grateful now that it was only almost.
She wondered what would've happened if Pan had never found the window and the two of them had remained separated and, as time wore on, she became even more lonely and vulnerable without a daemon. If Doctor Polestead had found her and they had ventured forth in her world together, would she have allowed herself to trust him fully? If he had told her he loved her and tried to kiss her, would she have let him? Just to feel safe? Just to feel the contact she had been so desperately craving since going to sleep without her daemon for so many nights? She felt sick, for as much she knew she didn't want that, she knew it was possible she would've gone along with it in those circumstaces.
"Why are you telling me this?" she asked, interrupting whatever he had just been saying to her.
"I just felt like you needed you to know. You deserve to know, even if you don't feel the same way," he said. This infuriated her.
"I didn't need to know." she spat. "You needed me to. You're telling me because you want to feel better. You want me to tell you it's ok to alleviate your guilt. Or worse - you actually thought I might feel the same way. Either way, it's for selfish reasons, it's not for me."
"Is everything ok?" she felt Will reappear behind her in the doorway. "I heard raised voices."
"Yes," she turned to him, he was looking between her and Malcolm, confused. "Everything is fine. Doctor Polestead was just leaving."
"Lyra, please-"
"You were just leaving, weren't you?" She interrupted him through gritted teeth.
"Yes. Yes I was." he said lowering his gaze shamefully, unable to meet either of their eyes. He walked down the garden path and opened the front gate. "Goodbye, Lyra," he said, turning back to look at her one last time, but no one was there. Instead, all he saw was the front door closing.
o-o-o
Lyra pressed her back to the front door, closing it.
"Is everything ok?" Will asked, his face growing more concerned. "Isn't that the scholar you told me about from your world? Why is he here?"
Lyra took a deep breath. Much like what happened on the train, she knew if she told Will, he would be infuriated. Unlike what happened on the train, however, the antagonist of this story was walking down the street outside, still very much within reaching distance for Will to go outside and take his fury out on him.
Lyra had been let down. Again. Here she was though, faced with one of few people left alive who she knew would never let her down. She didn't want to concentrate on the feeling of betrayal Malcolm had left her with. She would share it with Will, soon, but not now. Not tonight. Tonight was about the two of them.
"He's fine," she said, shaking her head. "He's going home now. He was just checking I was safe." Will didn't look fully convinced, but she just took his hand and led him back upstairs.
He didn't like how subdued she seemed and he worried about her. She had been through so much and he knew she'd only told him half of it. He was still overwhelmed by the desire to hold her, to kiss her, but he pushed this feeling aside.
"I'm sorry, I bet you're tired," he said. "After everything you've been through to get here."
She hadn't realised it herself until he said it, but she was indeed tired. Although she had stayed in a hotel the previous night, she still hadn't properly slept due to anxiety and excitement at the idea of being so close to Will. And now, they'd been talking for hours. She looked at the clock and saw it read ten minutes past two in the morning.
"I'd like to lie down, yes," she said, "but I'm not ready to stop talking yet."
"We don't have to. Do you have pyjamas? A toothbrush?" he asked.
"I thankfully did manage to acquire a toothbrush somewhere between here and my own universe," Lyra joked. "My nightdress could do with a wash, though."
"That's ok. Here," Will said rummaging through a drawer and pulling out a white t-shirt with the black outline of some kind of band Lyra didn't recognise on the front, and a pair of grey cotton shorts.
"Thanks." Lyra took the little bundle off clothes from him.
"I'll… let you get changed. I'll go and brush my teeth," he said taking up another t-shirt and some pyjama bottoms from under his pillow. When he returned, he was wearing them, and Lyra had changed into the clothes he'd given her. "Bathroom's just across the landing," he told her, handing her a small towel. She dug her toothbrush out of her bag and crossed to the bathroom.
In here, nothing felt particularly different from her own world. She looked into the mirror and took a deep breath. She could still scarcely believe where she was. That she was here with Will. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into his arms and hold him all night, but she couldn't work out if he wanted that too. Before Malcolm had come to the door, she was sure Will had been about to kiss her, and she'd hoped they'd get right back to it when they got back upstairs, but instead Will had made a point of suggesting they go to sleep and then of not changing in front of her. She tried not to let herself be disappointed. It had been years since they had last seen each other - it's not unusual that he might not feel totally comfortable around her straight away. If anything, it was odd that she did, that she felt as much love for him now as she did the last time she saw him, more even. That's because I'm pathetic she thought. I never moved on. He probably did. She brushed her teeth and looked at Pan who had followed her in. He returned her worried look but whispered "It's ok, Lyra. He's happy we're here."
As she crossed the landing back to Will's bedroom, she heard the front door open and the giggles of Will's drunken housemates returning from whatever party they had been to.
"Shh!" one said, "Will's got a girl up there, remember!"
Lyra giggled to herself and blushed slightly. She liked being that girl. She quietly opened the door back into Will's bedroom to find him lay on the floor by the bed.
"Oh," she said, trying not to sound too disappointed, "are you sleeping there?"
He jumped to his feet.
"Sorry, no, I don't have to, I can go and stay with Jack in his room," he said, slightly panicked.
"No!" Lyra replied hurriedly, "that's not what I meant. I just - I thought you'd sleep in your bed."
"But I wanted you to have my bed," he said. They looked at each other, trying to deduct what the other wanted without asking, both of them so conscious of the other's feelings that they were fighting hard to suppress their own desperate passion.
"It's big enough for two people," Lyra said cautiously.
"It is, but I didn't want to assume-"
"You're not assuming-"
"Especially after what I think happened to you-"
"That doesn't matter-"
"I want to but I didn't know if you'd want to-"
"I do want to-"
"So do I. Lyra, there's nothing I want to do more right now than hold you-"
"Then hold me, please hold me," she begged, and before she could say another word he closed the space between them, taking her into his arms and kissing her wine-stained lips. The taste of wine was reminiscent of the taste of berries all those years ago; there was a hint of fruit, but it was darker, maturer. He pressed his hands into the small of her back pulling her as close to him as physically possible, and she wound her arms around his neck, standing on tip-toe to reach him. After the tense wait and uncertainty beforehand, it was now the opposite - they were gripped by a sense of urgency. They kissed furiously, hungrily, desperately.
Will forced himself to pull back for a moment.
"I love you, Lyra. I never stopped even for a second," he told her.
"I love you too, so so much, an impossible amount." The words she had been wanting to say all day came tumbling out of her.
"Oh god, Lyra," he breathed. "Lyra, Lyra, Lyra." he repeated her name as though it was something precious and he couldn't believe he was lucky enough to be able say it.
"Will," she said in response, understanding completely. Every time she had said his name over the past few years, when speaking to Pan or one of the few people in her world who had known him, it was accompanied by a stab in her heart. Now though, saying it came with a leap of joy in her chest followed by a deep, warm satisfaction.
Will took his name as an invitation, placing his hands roughly on her face and kissing her again.
They were too wrapped up in each other to notice what their daemons were doing, but Kirjava purred deeply as Pan nuzzled his face into her neck. They were huddled together so tightly that, were it not for their distinct colour difference, you would scarcely be able to see where Pan's fur ended and Kirjava's began.
Still kissing her, Will pushed Lyra towards his bed until the back of her legs hit the mattress. She let herself fall backwards, pulling him down on top of her and sliding her hands up the back of his T-shirt, pressing them into the bare skin of his back. It was as though an electric current spread from where her fingers touched his skin, across his back and down his spine. He pulled back for a second to utter her name and look at her face, where he saw his own hunger reflected in her eyes. Neither of them could believe that only moments before they had doubted how the other felt. There was no doubt anymore.
The only time either of them had felt a semblance of their current feelings was when they were in the world of the Mulefa. It wasn't as intense as this, and they hadn't really known what to do with such feelings then, but now - they knew. Lyra tugged at the hem of Will's T-shirt and he quickly pulled it over his head before kissing her again. He helped her to remove her top, and then her shorts, and before long they were tangled up in nothing but the sheets and each other.
This wasn't the first time either of them had done this, but somehow, it felt totally new. Those other times seemed insignificant, silly, pointless in comparison. This was different. This was special. It was like Lyra had said to Kirjava earlier - the universe wanted them to be together, and it felt like it.
Even so, neither of them were thinking about the universe right now. Or Dust, or prophecies, or if there was some kind of ethereal connection between them. They didn't care. In this moment, they were just two humans, desperately, desperately in love.
o-o-o
After, Lyra was elated. Her head rested on Will's chest and her uninjured hand gently stroked Kirjava who was curled up with Pan on Will's stomach. She couldn't remember ever feeling this happy, except earlier that same day in the Botanic Garden when she had looked up and saw Will's face for the first time since their separation. Something had shifted. She knew now that Will loved her as much as she loved him; she could feel it in her bones, and couldn't believe she ever doubted it. Still, though, there was something on her mind.
"Will," she said quietly, breaking the comfortable silence.
"Mm?" he responded, his eyes closed and his mouth set in a small, satisfied smile.
"Did you ever move on?"
He opened his eyes at this, but he wasn't panicked. "How do you mean?"
"While we were apart, was there anyone else?"
He decided to be honest. For some reason, he knew what he and Lyra had, whatever relationship existed between them, transcended usual relationship barriers. She wouldn't be jealous, as the idea of him loving someone else as much as he loved her was laughable, and she knew it.
"I mean, there have been girls. There was one in particular, even."
"Who?"
"Her name's Rosie. We had the same interests, she was clever, funny, my friends liked her. She was great, even though she did get upset that no matter how often she came over, Kirjava wouldn't let her near her. But in the end, I had to end it."
"Why?" Lyra asked softly.
"Because… no matter how often she came over, Kirjava wouldn't let her near her," he repeated simply.
Lyra processed what he was saying. She tried to find some feeling of jealousy or anger, but she couldn't. She wasn't jealous because she had experienced the same with Dick Orchard, and she knew exactly how Will felt. She knew that whatever feelings either of them may have had for other people paled in comparison to what they felt for each other. They had been like children playing house, trying to imitate what they knew a relationship should be but not coming remotely close.
"It wasn't fair to her." Will continued after a moment. "She couldn't compete with you. How could she - she didn't even know she was competing. I always reminded myself of what you'd said, about how we mustn't compare new relationships to each other. But I wasn't even doing it consciously. I don't know. But anyway, after Rosie, I put all that on hold. I'd started second year and was getting so busy with uni work anyway. I guess on some level, I thought one day I'd meet someone who was also settling - maybe they had an unrequited love, or their true partner had died or something - and we'd just sort of… settle together."
They lay quietly for a moment, considering the weight of what Will had said, imagining their realities if Pan hadn't found the window in the desert.
"How about you?" Will asked eventually.
"It was the same for me really. There was someone for a while, but not anymore. I'd come to accept recently that nothing was ever going to compare and I should stop trying. Is that bad do you think? That neither of us found someone else?"
"I don't think it's bad. We both tried, didn't we? But there was a prophecy. They called you Eve, Lyra. That's what Serafina told Mary anyway. We were… it sounds dramatic, because it is, but we were destined to be together. It's hardly a surprise that we couldn't settle for anyone else."
Lyra considered what he had said, tracing small circles on his bare chest with the tip of her finger, before slowly letting her hand wander back down into Kirjava's fur.
"Maybe we never should've been apart, if that's true. If our love is world changing."
"Maybe. I don't know about your world, but I wouldn't say much has changed here. After everything that happened I thought things would be different."
"It's the same in my world. The magisterium are as corrupt as ever. I've regretted us parting more and more every second since we did because it seemed like it was almost for nothing. I don't care if it's selfish, I want to be with you and I'm not letting anyone separate us again."
Will squeezed her tightly and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Lyra, I don't want us to be apart either, but we have the same problem as last time. I'm not prepared to watch you get ill and die."
"Then we'll figure something out. We'll go back to the window Pan found in a few years and spend some time in my world."
"But what if someone closes it? Serafina and Xaphania were very clear that all the windows needed to be closed - if they find out that this one was missed, they might close it."
"It's a risk I'm willing to take." Lyra said simply.
"But Lyra-"
"Please, Will, let's just talk about this tomorrow."
"Ok," he said. He could see that she was tired, and honestly, he didn't like thinking about this either. He wanted to enjoy this moment he'd dreamed of so many times. He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of her warm skin pressed all along his body, the scent of her hair spread out on his chest. He tuned into Kirjava's feelings and basked in the immense satisfaction of the feeling of Lyra's hand in her fur, and of Pantalaimon curled up beside her. If he could freeze this moment and live in it forever, he would not hesitate for a second.
"Look at me," he said to Lyra softly after opening his eyes. She tilted her head up towards him. He looked into her eyes and a deep warmth spread out from his chest until it reached the tip of every part of his body. He leaned down slightly and kissed her deeply, and she melted into him.
"I love you, Will," she whispered sleepily as exhaustion took her over, and she fell asleep, her lips still brushing his.
AN- Potentially fun fact - the first thing I wrote for this fic, very roughly in my phone's notes app, was Lyra going to Will's student house. I just love the idea of her faced with student life in our world lol. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, next one is super cute and wholesome and almost finished :)
