Wounds to Bind Chapter 53 – "It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up." – Joan Rivers

May 1 – CPOV

Her lips, her skin, her sex…tasted like the nectar of gods. Her giggle was the voice of an angel. Her hair smelled like heaven. My goddess is putting me through hell. I kissed lightly at first, then with more passion as my tongue teased her lips apart, intertwining with her own. My hands fisting in her hair, pulling her up, balancing her on her toes, kissing deeply…reveling in the sensations which flowed between us. I silenced her moans with a kiss, my lips dominating her, bruising her mouth, making her lips swollen and tender…just how I liked them when she wrapped her lips around my hard cock. I slowed the kisses before stopping. Anticipation…I want her anticipation. I want her wet and needy.

Her hands wrapped around my neck, pulling me close before she released me. I tipped her head back and made her look up at me with those big innocent eyes. "I need you, I need this."

Her hands dropped, sliding down my chest as she dropped to her knees. One hand slid around my hips as the other slid around my front. She grasped my erect cock and slid into her mouth, moaning as she took all of me. I'm hard, so hard inside her hot, soft, wet, pouty mouth. She sucks me hard, the muscles of her throat squeezing me, gripping tight. I slid into her little pouty mouth over and over again. She moaned and looked up at me under her lashes, letting me know she wanted me to come. She needed to make me come…I growl and pause in her mouth…making myself edge. I reach down and grab her by the hair, using my grip to control myself, trying to prolong the sensation of feeling her mouth on me.

"Hands behind your head," I ordered her. My hands reached down and held hers in place, thrusting hard, taking my pleasure from her hot little mouth. Her breasts pressed against my legs. I am gone. She sucked me harder, her body trembling as the waves of pleasure captured her body and brought us both release. Her need was exposed by her thighs pressing against my ankles. Her body shuddered violently with each wave of pleasure she felt.

Her chestnut hair, her flushed cheeks, her pouty mouth made me scream my pleasure. I shout. I bury myself in her mouth. God, she's perfect, I explode, explode, explode in her mouth.

In the aftermath of my release…I lay still… realizing I'm clasping sheets, not her hands. Her body is not there...the memory of her yanked me from a deep sleep into the cold grey dawn of another lonely day. I know GEH won't run itself…but I need Anastasia in my life.

XXX – APOV

"Shower with me?" He kissed my forehead and pulled me to my feet. He kissed me as he walked me backwards into the bathroom. Slowly he stripped my body, until I'm only wearing scanty white lacy panties. He knelt before me, his hands slowly sliding my underwear off. He kissed up my body until he captured my mouth again. When he was done kissing me, he braided my hair. "This is how I want your hair…"

He pulled me into the shower and turned the water on, warm and soothing. He stood behind me, one arm wrapped around my waist, one hand pulling on my braid. He tipped my head to the side and kissed and nibbled on my neck. I moaned and pushed back against him. His hands explored my body…one hand on my breasts, stroking, tugging and pinching my nipples over and over. His other hand slides between my legs, parting them. He makes my body tremble, anticipating his touch. His hand cupped me, his fingers spreading me, chuckling at the wetness which soaked me. One finger thrust deeply into me, causing me to gasp. Another finger invaded me, causing me to moan. He rubbed against me, exciting his hardness while his fingers rotated between thrusting into me and teasing my clit until swollen and needy. He continued until I begged him to fuck me. Suddenly his hands left my breasts, my sex…and he pulled me back, hard, filling me completely. My body matched his rhythm until I was grinding against him, allowing him to thrust as deeply into me as possible. His body held me in place, my hands braced against the shower wall. He thrust deeply …filling me completely. He held a hip for leverage, one hand pulling my hair as he fucked me hard. I moaned and pushed against him, meeting thrust for thrust.

"Come for me," he ordered….

"No! I want more…" I begged.

His hand thrust between my legs, finding my clit and pinching hard. "Come for me," he ordered.

I moaned and lost control, shaking hard, riding out my orgasm. He entered me quickly, struggling to maintain a rhythm against my rocking. I bore down and clenched him over and over until he exploded in me…making me breathless and soaking wet…

…and wide fucking awake because he is not here! I could control thinking about him during the day, but that nocturnal sex maniac invaded my dreams and bedded me in my sleep. I groaned and rolled over…what time is it? I'm awake…we must have had a power surge during the night. The alarm didn't sound and I overslept. Rhoades is talking to Prescott in the kitchen. I race to dress, knowing I can check my emails while Prescott drives to work and we can get breakfast at Grey Annex.

XXX

Hannah brought us yogurt, granola and berry breakfast parfaits from the cafeteria. We discussed my schedule and then they stepped out of my office and left me to my thoughts. I laid down and rested my slightly swollen feet on the arm of the loveseat in my office. I think I'll ditch the heels for comfortable flats.

Laura texted I am a fur auntie. She sent pictures of Tundra's first litter. Two males and two females, all healthy. The kennels are built, the dog runs are built. She has moved in but is still learning where to find things. Dad sent his love.

José emailed to ensure we were still coming for graduation. I forward the email to Hannah and ask her to make reservations for a suite with three bedrooms at the Heathman.

Mom emailed she can't wait for me to come to Savannah at the end of the month. Her backyard and garden are in bloom and the landscaping at the country club is not to be missed. Bonner is going with me because Prescott has a family event and Rhoades plans to attend a weekend seminar to sharpen her already considerable skills. Bonner has her carry conceal permit, but she won't carry on the plane. Mom's putting her in a guest room. Bonner and I need to explain what happened in Las Vegas and to make Mom feel better about Bonner protecting me and killing Stephen. I don't care if Christian or his staff like her. Any woman who puts her life on the line to save me deserves my loyalty. That's the reason I won't fire Prescott either.

XXX

"Have you thought about living with Christian?" Mary picked a previously taboo topic.

"What if we move in together and fight all the time?" I frowned.

"What would you fight about?" Mary countered.

"Clothes…security…my gun…him buying me stuff…" I shrugged.

"You'll be living at his place…right?' Mary asked.

"Probably," I roll my eyes at the thought of white walls and over the top museum quality art.

"How do you make space for you in a space where he's lived in for years?"

I sighed. "I hate his art work."

"No you don't," she laughed. "You hate the white walls and the cold feel of his condo. So you negotiate with him. Your space at his penthouse must be painted a color of your choice and you pick the art work. You said you liked the field picture from the Seattle Art Museum…so search and find a picture you like for your space." Mary suggested. "You know the rules from your mother. Pick the picture, then pick the colors for the room – dark for rugs and drapes, medium for furniture or accents, and light for walls."

"How do I deal with his nagging at me to eat?" I asked.

"Create a list of no–go's. No one in the bathroom with you. No security in the bedroom. No security cameras while you're dressing. No nagging about food. No whatever else he does which vexes you…" Mary listed things which irk me. "You need to learn how to negotiate."

I sighed.

"Ana, you have a list of the things you want to do…your 'bucket' list if you will. You need to compare your 'bucket' list to Christian's 'bucket' list. Yes, sex is fun…but you are not John Lennon and Yoko Ono. You cannot spend a month in bed…even if it's for a good cause."

I sighed again.

"You must have a voice in your life, Ana. You should not need to shout from mountain tops to make people listen to you. Additionally, you and Christian are, essentially, singing a duet with one another. You need to stop listening to the voices in the choir…i.e. the press, the paparazzi, your mother, etc. and stay in tune and keep time with one another."

"You make it sound so simple, just a leap of faith," I muttered.

"You and Christian write a new chapter of your life every time you come together, separate and then come back and try again. You need to keep building together… you need to keep talking. I understand you hate to be yelled at…but over thirty days of not communicating with one another is not healthy. Think about it. You need to create new memories. I don't mean ones of running away from paparazzi, but watching a sunset together on a private beach where no one interferes with you." Mary paused. "Now is the time for you to vocalize all those thoughts which you have running amok in your head."

I pause and then start. "I want to be treated with respect and honesty in all actions and communications. There are times he won't tell me things because he doesn't think I need his past in my head or I don't need to know what's happening. Truth is…I want to be loved and respected for who I am, not who I might become, and not who I should be."

"This is where we have a conversation about the classes you took and your rationale for them," For fifteen minutes Mary asked questions and I validate my reasons for the classes before we continue.

"I expect to have my voice heard. I expect to be heard and respected even if you disagree with what I say. I will offer you the same degree of respect and listen to what you say." I declare.

"Which leads us to the fact you think Christian, Kate, Mia and your mother don't listen to you." Mary and I discuss this again. "Ana, people who cannot interact with you respectfully and honestly don't belong in your life. You will ensure your wants and expectations are met when you become your own best friend and advocate."

I sighed again. "Kate…my friend José…they don't like Christian. They seem to think he will hurt me…which already happened. But if I can get past it…why can't they?"

"Sometimes your friends see things you can't, but they aren't the ones in the relationship. They don't know everything. A relationship is trying to coordinate your life with his."

"I'm amazed at our three days in Las Vegas, we worked, we talked. Our trip started rocky. However, we learned favorite things, shared memories, discussed politics and laughed with one another."

"Do you feel you've given the relationship too many chances?" Mary questioned.

"No, but a year ago, I would have been devastated. Now, stepping away for a while and thing objectively hurts less. I am more grounded about what I want to do and who I want to be." I admit.

"Ana, at some point in time, everyone makes mistakes in relationships. We say or do the wrong thing. We take things for granted. Sometimes we're too overwhelmed with real life to fight for a relationship like we should." Mary counseled. "You decide whether the good outweighs the bad. When you endure perpetual crap for ten minutes of happiness…it's not worth it. Additionally, you'll never be free of the myth of demi–god Grey. The media will be around from now until eternity and 50 years after that. If you treat the press respectfully, you have every right to be respected. You will teach your family and any progeny to deal with the media."

I sighed again. "Can we end this depressing heart-to-heart talk with something fun? Like playing chopsticks swords."

"Writing our own fortune cookies?" Mary's eyes twinkled, handing me pen and paper.

Confucius say, "Girl with two left feet is a lopsided dancer."

Confucius say, "Be quiet at movies, not in your life."

Confucius say, "Bucket for making list, not for bailing out water over your head."

May 4 – CPOV

I am too frustrated to sleep...pushing my body to its physical limits should have exhausted me and made me sleep. My hot shower didn't make the throbbing in my rock hard cock subside. I toss and turn for most of the night. I wake early. It's a grey and wet day. I don't give a damn what Taylor says. I'm running past Ana's condo. If I'm lucky, she'll be doing yoga stretches on the balcony. As I approach Ana's condo, I wonder what's on her schedule for the day …but Ana is not on the balcony. Oh well. I head for Escala to get ready for work. I need to finish the speech for the WSUV presentation next Saturday. I will dance with her tomorrow and I will make sure we talk.

May 5 – CPOV

We meet for family dancing class. Ana looks lovely. Mia has a CD of the songs and the order of the dances. Kate and Elliot open the dancing. The next dance is the bridal party dance. I want to stare into Ana's blue eyes, but if I do…I'll forget the steps and we'll look awkward together. Her eyes are down, staring at my chest, concentrating on her steps. We're all exhausted three hours later when practice is over. We danced every possible permutation of dance partners. I even danced a stiff dance with Kate while Ana laughed and had a good time dancing with Elliott.

"Ana," I called out to her as she was leaving. "Let me walk you to your car?"

Ana nodded. She even offered me her hand to hold while I walked her to the car.

"I want to apologize to you, but not while the universe watches us. Can we Skype and discuss this in the next hour?"

"Agreed, I'll be home and ready in the next 30 minutes." Ana allowed me to help her into Prescott's SUV. I kissed her knuckles, checked her seatbelt and she smiled as I closed the door.

XXX – APOV

Bonner knows I'm Skyping with Christian. She brings a lunch tray to my office. I close the door to the office and surf the net until Christian connects.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you in Las Vegas. I believe we developed feelings for one another very quickly. My life with you was the best I had known. I felt alive for the first time in my life…and then I felt empty and sad and scared when you left me. When we reconciled St. Paddy's weekend…I didn't see us encountering problems again. But Las Vegas happened and I was scared and freaked out about losing you. I know I should not have yelled at you…but you must work with me, Ana. I want to love and protect you and you can't keep fighting with me about it. John says focus on your goal, not the tasks you need to achieve to get there. Once you have the goal in mind, break it down into doable tasks and work toward them. All I can say is I freaked out at the thought of losing you. I'm sorry you heard me yell at Sawyer. I'm sorry I'm over-protective and a little psychotic when it comes to your safety."

"I apologize if you believe I've been difficult. Badgering me about my security when I'm hurt and when I'm worried about Prescott being injured was poor impulse control on your part. While I like having you in my life, there are times when you are impossible and I can't deal with it." I declared.

"I like having you in my life…despite the upheaval," Christian laughed.

"I'm sorry to be the cause of upheaval in your life. I know your life was controlled and orderly before I came into it." I apologize. "I'm sorry you think I'm fighting you about my safety, but I can't be isolated. I can't live like that."

"My life was boring before you fell into my office. I want more with you, Ana. I've never done this before…help me do it right. I'll do my best to control my temper and not yell; you quit running and shutting down. We can't keep hurting one another like this." Christian demanded.

"I should tell you about Stephen Morton and my brief life with him. I assure you…I never worked with anyone to blackmail you for money." I talked for twenty minutes, explaining about Mom, Dad, their divorce, her party ways, the sheer number of men in and out of her life and then the surprise marriage to Stephen. He was an airplane mechanic based at Randolph Air Force Base in San Antonio. He was transferred to Nellis AFB, Clark County, Nevada just shortly after their wedding.

Christian asked pertinent questions about my life with Mom after the divorce, followed by when and why Dad came to Las Vegas to rescue me. I never felt comfortable around Stephen because I never trusted him. I told Christian about the size and amenities of Nellis AFB. I told him about Mojave High School. I admitted I liked returning to Montesano where there were less kids in my graduating class than there were in our apartment complex at Nellis.

Christian understood I felt isolated and threatened by Morton, which was part of why Dad came to Las Vegas to 'rescue' me. He heard Stephen screaming obscenities at me and threatening to beat my ass for talking to Dad on the phone. Stephen said not controlling his family reflected badly on his military career. However, Dad was calling from Las Vegas, not Montesano. Mom convinced Stephen to go to happy hour at the nearest bar with some of his coworkers. He wasn't gone fifteen minutes before Dad was at the door. He informed Mom she could stay with a drunk, abusive bastard, but he wasn't leaving me there. He showed her tapes of phone conversations where Stephen screamed and swore in the background while I was talking to Dad. He showed her the phone numbers for Nellis Military Police and Clark County Social Services. He told Mom he would no longer allow me to be neglected and abused.

Mom told me if I wanted to leave with Dad, she wasn't stopping me. However, she requested I be gone before she and Stephen returned from the bar. Dad made her sign a paper saying she was giving custody of me to him. He said the permission paperwork would protect us until he was able to get legal custody awarded to him. Dad helped me pack and leave. Less than 24 hours later, we were in Montesano. When we returned to Montesano, Dad contacted his lawyer and had Mom served with custody papers. She signed off on them and her lawyer overnighted them back to Dad's lawyer along with a copy of my medical files, immunization records and school records. I was a week late starting my junior year in Montesano, but I was in a safe and loving environment. Stephen would get drunk before Thanksgiving, and abuse Mom. He would leave for his favorite watering hole. Instead, he was arrested for a DUI. While he was in the Clark County Jail, Mom packed and left. She drove to a women's shelter. They helped her apply for her divorce. His CO talked to the DA and had Stephen committed to a 28-day detox followed by 60 days of release while wearing an ankle monitor. He would be able to work and was not dishonorably discharged because of the 28-day detox.

Christian told me about his junior and senior year at Seattle Prep. He stopped drinking and fighting. He spent the summer between his sophomore and junior year attending summer school and taking online courses. He learned academics were easy for him. He aced his regular classes and his online classes. He regained two years of credits in addition to his regular credits while attending high school full time. He explained about learning to row and how he devoted his spare time to improving his form and his competitive times. He promised the next time we were in his parents' boathouse, he would show me his rowing trophies and pictures.

We had Skyped about two hours and were almost talked out.

"I donated all the furniture in the guest room at the top of the stairs. John suggested a makeover since I tore out the playroom. I donated the clothes in the closet to Mom's charity. I donated the clothes in the suitcase and the suitcase also." He paused.

"I know," I refrained from rolling my eyes. "My coworker Claire bought the tacky animal print suitcase at the rummage sale. She filled it with clothes from the rummage sale and rolled it to her car. She plans to find matching pieces." I laughed.

"Do you really hate to wear prints?" He asked.

"I don't have anything animal print. I only have a few things which have a pattern to them. In case you haven't noticed, I'm diminutive …patterns sort of overwhelm and I disappear."

"Except the watercolor print dress. It's pretty."

"Thank you, I like the watercolor print dress too but Kate says two more photos, then it goes." I shrug. "I told her it's a waste of good clothes. I guess I'm donating a lot of things to your mother's rummage sale or to the Career Closet in the future."

"If you aren't busy tomorrow, I would like to take you to lunch. We need to coordinate the bridal party gift and the bachelor-bachelorette party." Christian explained.

"Can we get a private dining room at one of Mia's restaurants? When you know where you have reservations, please call or email me," I agreed to go to lunch.

"I was hoping for Escala," Christian announced.

"We need to deal with the press. We can't stay locked away from the world," I argued.

"I understand," he conceded. "Just promise you won't freak and run on me."

"Promise you won't yell," I warned him.

May 6 – APOV

"Thank you for meeting me for lunch," Christian kissed my cheek. "You look lovely, that color suits you."

"I really like this color," I'm wearing the raspberry sheath dress. I've put my hair in an inverted ponytail. Cassie would disapprove, but I don't care. I allow him to pull out my chair and I practice Cassie's sitting lessons.

"I ordered for us. I hope that is acceptable." Christian commented.

"I appreciate that very much," I thanked him.

"Sancerre?" He indicated the wine holder on the table.

"Yes, please," I accept his offer. "Since I have a driver, I can enjoy a glass."

"Good," Christian smiled while he poured a glass for me. "Do you have rules how you would like to handle Elliot and Kate's wedding?"

"We both want the best for them and their families. Strained relations between us will not reflect that," I sip my delicious Sancerre.

"I will abide by whatever rules you want," Christian commented.

"I think rules are arbitrary – waiting to be obeyed or broken. I think we need goals instead," I shake my head. "Your brother is marrying a woman who is like a sister to me. I know you aren't a fan of Kate's, but I know Elliot and you have become close."

Christian tried to hide a smirk.

"What is that look about?" I am suspicious.

"Well, I think they are both annoying assholes at times, and I think they both have good traits. Perhaps they do deserve one another. I mean that in the kindest possible terms." Christian adopts an innocent face.

"I believe you," I do…sort of.

"Lobster and crab Cobb salad with citrus champagne vinaigrette," our server placed strikingly arranged plates and a well–stocked bread basket before us.

I unfold my napkin and place it in my lap. I reach for my glass and take a sip. Christian looks at me curiously.

"Should I have ordered something else," Christian is curious.

"It's lovely, but I was waiting for you to start." Cassie would approve of my manners.

He inhaled sharply, reaching for the bread basket, offering it to me. I select a cheese biscuit and a butter pat with lemon zest.

"Anastasia," Christian began to say.

"Ana…just Ana," My voice holds a plea, not a demand.

Christian held out his hand.

I believed he wanted to hold my hand so I placed my hand in his. The electrical current between us is as strong as ever. I'm always in awe of how small my hand is compared to his.

"I would be honored to have you in my life…" Christian started to say.

"You and I must be comfortable being friends." I squeezed his hand. "Kate says if we get into a shouting match, or a knock-down, drag-out fight at the wedding, she's kicking both our asses."

"If just being friends means I get to see your pretty face, I can live with that." Christian offered. "However, I agree. If we have are comfortable with one another, things will be easier for wedding events and the families." He let go of my hand and we began to eat. "So, what is our first goal?"

"We have several – we need to coordinate the bachelor and bachelorette parties. I would prefer we coordinate them together for the sake of my skin and yours. Elliot or Mia plans could take us into realms of bad behavior which could get us on tabloid covers or arrested."

"Agreed," Christian grimaced…he's contemplating the worst.

"Mia gave me a dozen possible scenarios…and I don't like any of them. I realize sedate and classy will not do for two over-the-top people such as Elliot and Kate." I sipped my wine.

"How about we enlist the help of Theo and Frannie?" Christian suggested. "If the weekend goes really wrong…we can blame them."

"Have you always been this manipulative?" I asked, surprised.

"Not manipulative…desperate. Theo will know how to have a good time without involving strippers." Christian assured me.

"I'm not sure about Frannie. I think Kate might give her too many mimosas and she'll be a wild child. She will want to see Chippendale dancers or something." I shrug.

"Mom and Dad…" Christian stopped when he saw my face.

"Mia and Elliot will veto that suggestion." I point out the fallacy of his suggestion.

"Gail and Taylor?" He suggested.

"Kate doesn't know them. She might think Gail would report back to you." I veto that idea.

"Okay…so something that's fun and relieves pre–marital stress and jitters…but doesn't get anyone arrested," Christian addressed the issue head on. "Clubbing in New York?"

"I don't want to cramp anyone's style, but I'm not a clubbing all night long person." I protest. "You saw what happened during my first clubbing experience. I owe the city of Portland half a dozen azalea bushes. I don't think six hours of flying to New York to start partying is a good idea. Someone will start drinking on the plane. Bodies will be drunk and have no limits when we arrive in New York."

"Vegas," Christian consulted his phone. "We leave Friday afternoon and return Sunday afternoon. We have six options for outdoor adventure including golf. A plethora of gourmet dining and floor show options. Some exclusive clubs for drinking and dancing. We can have gambling lessons. If we stay somewhere luxurious like Bellagio, there is shopping and spa opportunities for the ladies." Christian offered.

"I think that's a great idea; I need some good Las Vegas memories. I'll ask Mia to find out who's playing in Vegas that weekend and we can pick from there." I suggest. "You need to tell Ethan the dates so he can arrange his schedule."

"Meaning I get to see you again," Christian smiled.

"Don't drag your feet coordinating this, or Mia and Elliot will take over and our voices of reason will be ignored." I smiled and ate my lunch.

"Can we have a Wednesday night date?" Christian asked.

"I have dance practice on Wednesday nights. I have dance class on Friday nights in May when we have Saturday bridal group dance practice." I explain my schedule.

He groaned. "How about a sandwich at Grey House before you go to class Wednesday night?"

"I could be there just after five-thirty. I must be at class by seven." I agreed. "We need to feed whoever is on duty with me. She can have dinner hour while I'm in Grey House with you."

Wednesday, May 9 – APOV

"John expects me to come back with answers to at least six questions." Christian hesitated. "I wasn't sure how hungry you were, so I got a lot of food. What we don't eat, Security will. I promise not to nag." Christian seats us at the table in the corner of his office so we can look out at the world.

"Thank you for feeding us," I will be a good guest. I take a plate and help myself to veggie sticks, a turkey, bacon and avocado croissant sandwich, and a helping of fruit salad.

"I'm sorry about the press. I'm angry because they are intrusive assholes and won't leave us alone. What are you learning in your May dance classes?" Christian held my chair.

"Quickstep and Two-Step. I don't want to ask or answer normal questions," I shrugged. "How about off the wall questions?"

Christian gave me a funny look.

"I'll go first. I lost my phone number, can I have yours?" I dipped a zucchini stick in ranch dressing.

"Good one, I like that." Christian brought a loaded plate to the table. "I didn't have time to think up odd questions, so bear with me. What movie character are you?"

"Belle, Jane Eyre or Elizabeth Bennet. I'm a book-reading character." I segue to the next question. "You wake up and you're a woman. What's the first thought you have?"

"Oh my god, am I pregnant?" Christian laughs. "Last book you read for fun?"

"The Emperor's Children by Claire Messed. Cassie recommended the book to try to get me in the wedding mindset. I haven't forgotten one particular line. 'His smile was like a second sun in the glorious late summer afternoon.' The quote reminds me of you." I ate a bite of my wonderful mango, pineapple and mandarin orange fruit salad. "If I said the word Caesar, what would you say?"

"Salad. What would you say?" Christian asked.

"Beware the Ides of March," I shrugged. "Spy or famous scientist?"

"Neither," he wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "Base jumping or sky diving?"

"Neither," I laughed. "First road trip in your first car."

He chewed carefully and swallowed. "Senior year, high school, Snoqualmie Falls. Elliot and I hiked. Dad has always been an outdoors kind of guy. Lately he just golfs, sails and fishes with Grandpa Theo. I'd like to take him soaring someday. I think he'd like it." Christian took a drink and pondered. "Ever have a pen pal?"

"Yes, we were learning about the United States in the fourth grade. My pen pal was a girl from Maine. I haven't thought about her in years. Did you ever have a pen pal?"

He cleared his throat. "Not in the traditional sense of the word. I'll explain if you want but…"

"Mrs. Lincoln?" I asked gently.

He nodded.

"I'll bet my letters to and from my pen pal were a lot more fun," I enjoyed my croissant sandwich.

Christian observed me. "Do you want to talk about her?"

"I hate her for touching you. I don't think I can ever forgive her. I'm not jealous of her, or the 15. I understand you needed and contracted with the 15. I just don't want to be a target because they want more with you." I explain. "I understand why they wanted more…you're funny, you're sexy as hell and you're gorgeous …when you aren't being an ass. I don't want to be a target because some woman thinks I'm the reason you aren't with her."

"I can live with that, as long as you know you are the only woman who ever made me want more." Christian insisted. "Fun, games and questions over…you are due for dance lessons. I'm working for a while." He stood and pulled out my chair. "Taylor, tell Prescott we're headed for the garage."

In the elevator, we grinned shyly at one another. Well, my grin was shy, I think his was sardonic. Yeah, we're both thinking about sex in the elevator. Thank god that there is only time for kissing and inappropriate groping before the elevator doors open.

"Friday, Portland…Saturday, WSUV graduation…Sunday?" Christian asked.

"I'd like to spend time with you on Sunday," I answer honestly. "However, I'm sure you have plans for Mother's Day. Maybe we can go sailing the weekend after."

"We have Saturday dance lessons – we could have lunch after. I have Elliot things to do Saturday afternoon and you'll be busy with Kate and Mia. How about sailing on Sunday? We can get breakfast by the marina and then sail for the day?"

"Sounds like a plan," I agree. "I'll bring Bonner and a swimsuit."