CHAPTER 31 - Locked down together - Never a dull moment

"Please Ana, one more chapter of Charlie! Please." Teddy is begging. The little boy is usually very reasonable when it is time to go to bed but tonight he is particularly excited. Ana knows the reason; just like Ana and Phoebe, Teddy can feel that something is going on with his father. But like Ana and Phoebe, he does not know what it is.

Of course the children noticed. When Christian is home, he always participates to their bed time routine and always kisses them goodnight. But not tonight. Phoebe reacted by remaining very quiet and going to bed nicely, like the very collected girl that she is, while for Teddy, a very energetic little boy, it is too much to take and he reacts by getting frustrated and upset.

"Teddy, it is already later than usual. Come on, in your bed now, young man." Sometimes, it is difficult for Ana to say no to Teddy, in particular when she understands why he is upset, but she needs to, for his own good; he really looks exhausted tonight, but he is fighting against it.

"But Daddy is not here. I want to say good night to Daddy." the little boy whines, revealing his reason, just as Ana had figured out.

Ana sighs then says in her sweetest voice. "Honey, your daddy is busy with work, he cannot come right now. But I tell you what, what if I lay down with you until you fall asleep?"

The little boy is sobbing now "Yes, please, Ana." He clearly is too tired to keep up resisting for long. Poor baby.

Teddy climbs in bed clumsily, lying on his back. Ana places the cover back on him and gently tucks him in. As she lies down over the covers, on her side, she caresses Teddy's hair tenderly, in circles, to soothe him.

"Ana?" Teddy breaks the silence after a few minutes. He tries to speak in a low voice but as usual, it ends up being too loud.

"Yes Teddy." Ana answers, almost whispering.

"Is Daddy sleeping in your room tonight?" The boy asks, his tone definitely lower now.

Ana had absolutely no idea about it. But they had promised this morning to let Teddy know of their night time arrangement so she tries to figure it out "No, I think he will be in his room."

"You too?" The youngest Grey asks in a timid voice.

"I don't know, Teddy." Ana answers sincerely. She has no idea what Christian will want to do tonight. If he sleeps here at all, Ana can't help thinking but she keeps it to herself. Twice in the past month, Christian had to leave for work in the evening, so it could definitely happen again tonight.

"Okay." There is some silence for a few seconds and then he adds "Today was lots of fun Ana. Can we do it again tomorrow?"

Ana smiles as she keeps caressing Teddy's curls; it was a really nice day together indeed "Well, tomorrow, we are looking for eggs in the morning Honey, remember?"

"Oh yes! I forgot." The little boy answers enthusiastically "Will Daddy look with us?"

"I hope so Teddy. But maybe Daddy will be busy with work, you know."

"I don't like it when Daddy works." Teddy says, pouting.

"I know Baby. Your Daddy would rather spend more time with you and your sister too, you know that, right?" Ana adds.

"Yes. And with you too." Teddy continues.

"Yes, and with me too." Ana confirms.

"Because he is your boyfriend and you are his girlfriend." Teddy says matter-of-factly.

"Yes." Ana smiles lightly. She finds is even cuter when Teddy or Phoebe refer to Christian and her as boyfriend and girlfriend. At least, it makes it clear that they are not disturbed by it, like she had feared.

"Ana?" Teddy goes on after a few seconds.

"Yes Teddy?" Ana says, wondering what the boy has to say now.

"I love it when you call me Baby. But I am not a baby, you know? I am six." And he holds his small hands up, all five fingers up on one hand and just the thumb on the other.

This little boy is so cute "Yes I know, I'm sorry, it just means I like you like this." Ana lifts her arms up, slowly widening the space between it. When she stops, her left arm landing on Teddy, who lets out a small moan.

As she lets her arms down, Ana slowly caresses his cheek before placing her arms along her body "I know Ana, that is why I love it that you call me that, just like Daddy." Then finally, he adds "I am sleepy now" he yawns "Night night Ana. Love you."

"Night night Baby." She simply answers, really touched by this exchange with the little boy she has become so fond of, just like his sister, and their daddy.

After a few more minutes, Ana can hear little snores coming from next to her. She then carefully extricates herself from the bed and the bedroom.

As Ana opens the door carefully, she feels some resistance that she does not understand at first. Then suddenly she sees a mass in front of her. As she is about to fall backward, she feels an arm, a strong arm, catching her by sliding under her back.

Ana whimpers out of surprise before pulling herself together, remembering where she is and that she does not want to wake Teddy up. Christian holds her in his arms, allowing the sounds coming from her mouth to muffle in the fabric of his sweater. He quickly moves backward, slowly shutting the door behind her.

"Are you okay, Ana?" Christian finally asks, after some time standing there like that.

"Yes." She answers. "We have to stop opening doors at the same time, you know?" She adds as she breaks away from Christian's body, reluctantly.

She sees a light smile on his face, but it does not reach his eyes. He looks exhausted.

"Ana, is Teddy asleep?" Christian finally asks.

"Yes, he wanted to wait for you but he was really tired. I lay down with him and he fell asleep quickly."

Christian holds out his hand and slowly reaches for Ana's cheek. Ana moves her head to the side, so that his hand is now fully cupping it. With his thumb sliding up and down, he says "Thank you, Ana. I am sorry for my behavior tonight. I will explain. But right now, I want to say goodnight to my baby boy. Can we talk afterwards? I know it is late…"

"Of course Christian." Ana interrupts, stepping back but reaching for his hand. Ana hears him sigh lightly as she does so. "I'll go prepare our tea."

As she starts moving towards the stairs, Christian says "Can we make it red wine instead? I think there is a bottle of Pomerol on the counter. And wine glasses in the big cupboard."

"Sure Christian." Ana says before going downstairs.

"Thank you Anastasia." She barely hears him say as she reaches the ground floor.

When Christian finally comes back to the main room, Ana has been sitting there for over fifteen minutes, trying to figure out what could have happened for Christian to react so strongly.

She truly hopes that he won't have to go away again; last week was really difficult without him and selfishly, she just wants to keep him with her and the children, at home.

For some reason, Ana does not believe that Christian's problem is related to work; it seems more personal than that. Ana hasn't been around for a long time, but she has already seen Christian dealing with work problems, and if he is aloof then, he still manages to smile to her or the children.

Tonight, Christian looked really distraught and lost in his thoughts, not even hearing when the children tried to talk to him and dismissing the fact that something was going on.

Ana is going through every potential reason for Christian to behave like that. And she comes to the conclusion that it has to have something to do with someone Christian loves. Which really scares her, as she cannot help imagining terrible things about Mia, or Kate and the baby or even Grace Grey at the hospital. Or maybe Gail and Mr Taylor. They talked to them tonight, but maybe one of them is ill.

Or maybe it has something to do with the children. But the children are here, so if it concerns them, it has to be indirect; Anything related to health, she would know about it first-hand.

As she is deep in thought, she feels the couch move next to her. Before she can react, she feels his hand sweetly touching her cheek and then he swoops down on her, kissing her mouth first very tenderly and then it becomes more intense, so much that it scares Ana.

She stops it and places her hand flat on Christian's chest. "Christian, please stop."

He sobers up a bit, sitting back about a meter away from Ana. "I'm sorry Ana, I did not want to…"

"That's okay Christian, I just… Please tell me what is going on. It is killing me not to know. I know it is probably not my business, but I can't help wondering what is going on. Has something happened to someone? Mia? Grace? Kate?"

"No, no Ana, they are all okay. I'm sorry, I did not realize my behavior would scare you this way. No, everyone is fine."

Ana releases a breath she did not know she was holding. "Okay, thank you. But it is big, right? You would not behave this way if it were nothing. It is not work, is it?"

"No it is not." He starts reaching for the glass of wine in front of him. When he realizes that Ana is not drinking wine but some tea, he stops and finally grabs Ana's mug instead, silently asking for permission to drink from it. Ana nods so Christian takes a sip. He then places the mug back on the table. As he retrieves his phone from his pocket, he quickly browses through it then hands it to Ana. "Here, it is probably even better if you read it yourself.

Ana takes the phone in her hands and starts reading what looks like an email.

To: Christian Grey

From: Barney Sullivan

Mr Grey,

This was sent to you yesterday evening. I was about to delete it, following your instructions about unknown senders, but somehow I think it might be better for you to have a look.

Best regards

Barney.

To: Christian Grey

From: Chabhain_Buachaill_89

Mr Grey,

You don't know me and I don't know you. Gosh I don't even know if this email will reach you, but I have to try.

My name is Fred Martin O'Reilly, and I own a small DIY shop in Naranja, Florida. I am 31, born and raised in County Cavan, Ireland, I am married, and my wife and I are expecting our first child, a baby girl, in July.

At this point, you are probably wondering why I am contacting you to tell you all this, so here it is: my wife's name is Leila Williams.

I am aware that six years ago, you asked Leila to stay away from your life and the lives of your children forever, but please hear me out, she does not even know that I am writing to you right now. I understand if you don't want to know anything about her and her current life, really, I do, but please, I beg you, give me a chance to explain my point.

When I met Leila four years ago, we were both broken by life, but in therapy with the hope of something better at the end of the road. At least on my side; I think Leila had more or less given up hope and was just complying with the agreement you two had.

I was smitten immediately, but it took some time for Leila to really consider entering a relationship with me. I knew from the get go that she had some baggage, and so did I. But I could not care less, I wanted her in my life, no matter what her past was. Finally, through lots of talking and some patience, she has slowly opened up to me.

By the time we got married last year, we had told each other everything there was to know about ourselves, in particular about our failures and our wounds. Leila knows about my childhood in an orphanage back there in Ireland and my past as an addict and a criminal in the streets of Dublin, which I am not proud of. And I know everything that she went through from the moment she was born. The most painful and most vivid bit of course concern you and the children.

Leila explained to me what happened between the two of you when you were very young. I know that when Phoebe came to the World, it was a total shock for the two of you. And if you managed to react like an adult and a loving parent back then, Leila was not equipped to do the same. And history repeated itself when Theodore was born.

This story belongs to the two of you, and I am telling you as I told Leila that I am not allowed to judge anybody's past, in particular considering how I screwed up most of my life up to now, before I was given a second chance.

The fact is Leila felt terribly guilty after that and it took years of therapy for her to understand what happened and then forgive herself for the way she behaved. She is not even fully there, but she will, I know she will.

When she and I started being involved and we were confident that we were good for each other, of course the topic of starting a family came up. I never doubted Leila's love for me, but it was clearly very difficult for her to cross this bridge that she had stumbled on before.

After hours of discussion, together and with both our therapists, we finally got married on March 18th 2019. The best day of my life. And I believe Leila was happy too that day. When she got pregnant about five months after she stopped taking her contraceptive pill, we were on cloud nine. Please don't take everything I say the wrong way, it is not meant to hurt you, I just want to explain the whole situation to you.

Of course, I realized that if everything was brand new and just amazingly wonderful for me, it must have been extremely difficult at times for Leila; but we talked it through and everything was going fine. We had work, we had our friends, our employees and our customers, we had each other and we had the future ahead for us.

Until a month ago when this damn virus forced us to stay home. Since then, Leila has not been herself; she cries very often, and feels sad most of the time. Sometimes she barely goes out of bed. When I asked, she blamed it on the pregnancy hormones and refused talking about it.

And finally, yesterday, she broke down and confessed to me how this pregnancy was both a blessing and a terrible reminder of how badly she behaved in the past. She also admitted that she misses Phoebe and Theodore, even though she feels like she is not allowed to, considering what happened years ago. She confirmed to me what I of course already knew, that there hasn't been one day since she left that she has not been thinking about her children. Which she had never really wanted to talk about; she always remained mute on this particular topic.

Of course, I knew that she missed them a lot, but it is like this lockdown has made all of the dams burst within her, and now it hits her even harder than ever.

I love my wife, Mr Grey. But it feels terrible to see her in such a terrible state right now, knowing full well that it could also affect our unborn child.

Leila knows that she cannot contact you, and she is true to her word. All she wants is to know that Phoebe and Theodore are doing great, that they are happy. That would help her move on and just go on living.

I tried googling you and the children; I know, it felt weird doing it, but I could not find anything out there. Somehow, you managed to perfectly protect the children from the press, and there are absolutely no pictures showing their faces, and barely any information about Phoebe and Theodore. Just that you have children, their names, and that's it.

Leila believes that you probably told them that she is dead. And she knows that they are probably growing up in the best surroundings possible, with people who love them, a father to teach them respect and the value of hard work and lots of opportunities for a happy life.

So she really does not want to create any problem. And neither do I. She will probably be mad at me for contacting you this way.

What would really help her though would be to have news, maybe a picture or a video, but really just a few words about their characters and anything confirming that they are both healthy and happy would be enough; that would be enough for her to feel better and to keep moving on.

So I am asking you, from one father to another, please, Mr Grey, help us create the best foundations for our family by helping my wife be at peace with her past. She will never forget what happened, but knowing that everything is okay for them will definitely help her.

I really hope that you will receive this email. If not, I will keep trying until you do. I don't know how, but I will figure it out, I have to, for them.

If you did receive it, I thank you for your attention. Please consider this request, it really means a lot for my family.

Best regards

Fred M O'Reilly"

When Ana is done reading, there are tears at the corner of her eyes. But when she looks into Christian's stern eyes, she realizes that their reaction might be a bit different after reading this. Two perspectives. Ana has to be very careful with how she addresses the situation with her boyfriend; this is a bit tricky, but one thing is sure: she has to keep in mind what really matters, and what really matters is what is best for the children.

Author's note: Thanks for the nice comments. Everything is fine in my new country and my new life, I have adjusted really well, thank you for asking. About the story: what do you think about the letter? Any thoughts about what might happen next?