He was up as soon as the sun started to peek over the horizon the next morning. Haru was still fast asleep, and he didn't want to wake him just yet, so he let him rest a bit longer while he took a quick shower and put on fresh clothes, brushed his teeth, combed through his hair, and took several breaths as he stared in the mirror, just barely recognizing who he was only because it seemed that his reflection had aged. Not necessarily physically, but he could see it in the depths of his own gaze.

He'd lived through decades across only the past couple of months, and he could feel it trying to weigh him down again, but he was determined to shed it, determined to wash it all away and start over new, begin a life that, maybe would be worlds different from what he'd come to know over the course of his existence, but was probably more of what he needed now, and he found himself incredibly accepting of that, ready for that.

Whatever was to come, he would have Haru, and that was more than enough. Life was moving on and he was going to move with it, so he went back to the living room and woke Haru gently. He put him soaking in the tub while he pulled out their lunches and made sure they had everything else they would need for the day. Then he warmed up something for breakfast and brought some clothes to Haru.

They sat quietly at the table while they ate. The rising sun fell warmly through the windows, giving everything a hopeful golden sheen, and looking at it, he might have dared to say that he was the smallest bit excited to face all of the things they needed to face, and take the first step forward. And he decided in that moment that he was done with mourning.

The pain wasn't going to leave, and the sadness would continue to come back around — probably frequently. But he didn't want to let it anchor him to one spot. He wasn't going to let it pin him down with despair.

Everything would be okay.

"You ready?" he said, turning an inviting smile to Haru, who nodded.

Makoto grabbed his plate and took it to the sink, and no sooner had he put the dishes drying in the rack, then there was a large and abrupt thud.

He looked up to find Haru collapsed on the floor.

"Haru!"

He rushed to him and turned him over, immediately aware of the dark blue blood dripping out of his nose. His fingers went instantly cold, and he tried to calm his breathing enough to check Haru's pulse, but he could find nothing, and he had no idea if that was because it was so weak, or just because he was in a panic.

He didn't stop to think about it, or try to check again.

He scooped Haru up off of the floor, terrified by how light he was, and ran out the door.

He did his best not to trip down the stone steps, but he flew down them so fast that any stray pebble would have had them both crashing to the bottom in a heartbeat.

"Not yet, not yet, not yet," he gasped, veins flooded with adrenaline, eyes wide and yet he felt like he couldn't see a thing. He felt like he couldn't hear anything either, outside of his own racing heartbeat in his ears.

They should have gone to the water the moment they'd made it back from being in Tokyo. That was the only thing he could think about. Too late, too late. It couldn't be too late. He had asked for time. He had asked the sea, the gods, for time.

"Haru, stay with me please," he breathed, lungs completely out of air as they hit the bottom of the steps and he ran straight for the beach.

He was moving as fast as he could. His legs were burning. Haru wasn't heavy at all, and yet he felt so weighed down. He felt like he wasn't moving fast enough. They weren't there yet. Why weren't they there yet? Haru wasn't breathing. How long could he last like that?

"Haru, please!" he shouted, scaring the shakes into his own body — which he certainly didn't need. "Stay with me. Stay with me. We're almost there."

It took too long. It took far too long and he knew it. He'd always thought he lived so close to the water, but in a rush it was impossible to get to it quickly enough. He cursed his body, he cursed the land, he cursed everything, and he ran straight into the ocean, barely even aware that the beach was empty right now. He would have done the same thing even if there were crowds of people about.

He went out as far as he could without the waves pulling away, and dropped down to his knees, submerging Haru into the sea. The water was at about shoulder level for him, and definitely brushed past his face as he doubled over, both from trying to keep Haru under, and from trying to gasp out the stitch in his side. His throat already felt raw from how hard he was hyperventilating. His body was vibrating, still wanting to run, to do something more, but he knew this was it, this was all, this was the best that he had.

Haru didn't move. He in fact felt oddly heavy in his arms all of a sudden, and Makoto's breath started to hitch with hiccupping gasps.

"Haru," he moaned, pulling his face up out of the water to brush his hair back. He swallowed and tried to grasp his composer back — it was far gone though. "Haru …" He shook him, already sniffing and trying to blink the blur out of his eyes.

"Haruka!"

He didn't know where that came from. Was only vaguely aware that he'd heard it somewhere. Haru had never told him that was his actual name, but it was sitting there heavy on his chest, on his breath, on his tongue, waiting for him to respond.

"Haruka! Haruka! … Haru, please," he sobbed. He cupped his face and blew air past his lips several times, not sure what that would do, but it was all he could think of. When Haru still did not respond though, he got lost in his tears and end up kissing him instead.

"Haru, please wake up. Please wake up. Please stay with me. Please."

His body rocked on its own, holding him close, the swell of the waves nearly washing completely over him several times.

The weight was heavy, it yanked on him like a plummeting anchor and everything hurt three times more than it already had. He wailed in panic and kept his face tucked against Haru's, trembling intensely.

"I brought him back. I brought him back. He's here," he cried, trying to reason with the sea. "Please don't take him from me. Please … Not him too. Please, please, please. Haru …"

He didn't know what to do. What was he going to do? The guilt was already rotting him. They should have never left the cove in the first place. If he'd never so recklessly swam out into that storm, Haru wouldn't have followed him off of the island, and they wouldn't be here now. He wasn't going to be able to live with that. What was he going to do?

"I'm s-sorry, Haru," he choked, still rocking. "I'm sorry. Please don't- … don't leave me. I don't- I don't know what to do without you. Please don't leave me. Please, Haruka, please."

He lifted his head, completely out of breath and tried to see into the horizon, tried to find what he knew was there, knew was watching, knew was listening. He shook his head.

"Don't take him. Don't take him from me. You- You took everything else. They're gone, they're yours. It's done. I understand." He shook he head with more vigor, trying to find the air. "You can't take Haru. You can't take him, he's mine. You- You were the one who brought me to him. That wasn't an accident. You can't … You can't have him." He arms curled more securely, more desperately around Haru, and the tears fell out somehow faster. "You can't have him," he whispered, barely able to speak anymore.

He saw the swell before it got to them, but he stayed where he was and squeezed his eyes shut just in time to be overwhelmed. The wave had a much stronger current than he'd expected and it pushed him back several yards, nearly throwing him onto his back, but he held onto Haru and did not allow him to be yanked out of his arms when the tide pulled back, dragging them further out to sea, until it didn't anymore, and the water settled again, and Haru jerked with a gasp, as though he'd just been struck back to life.

Makoto's heart nearly leapt out of his chest, taking his own breath with it, and the relief burst through him so strongly, he thought he might pass out on the spot.

"Haru! Oh my god. Oh my god … Oh my god." He was already crying again, brushing Haru's hair out of his face, watching his chest heave and his eyes crack open.

"Makoto," he groaned, voice weak, but it was there.

"Hey, you're okay," he cried, trying to be soothing, though he was the one who couldn't get it together. "You're okay. You're okay."

Something brushed across his leg, and he looked over to find that Haru's tail had returned. It was incredibly green, and when Makoto freed it of the tattered shorts that Haru had been wearing, several scales came away with it, as well as a thick layer of slime.

He threw the shorts away and turned back to Haru's face, holding his jaw and pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Are you okay?" he murmured, kissing him again. "Are you okay?"

Haru nodded weakly, unable to respond to the kisses, but he was responding somehow, and that was enough for at least this moment. Makoto took a second to gather his breath and convince his tears to stop, talk his heart down out of his throat, and held onto him tightly, acutely aware of the way that Haru's body breathed and lived.

He kissed him several more times.

"Haru, you were drying out. You've been away from the sea for too long."

Haru exhaled a breath, eyes sliding close for a moment. He was still panting for oxygen, but his breathing was much stronger than what it had been. "I'm … I'm okay."

Makoto shook his head. "You are not, Haruka. You almost died." His voice shook with the tangibility of the words, thinking about how close he'd been. He didn't know what he would have done. What would he have done?

Haru blinked, and looked back up at him, a small crease forming on his brow. "What?"

"I said you almost died. You can't just —"

"No." He shook his head heavily. "What did you just call me?"

Makoto blinked at him. "Haruka. That's- … That's your name. That's your real name."

Haru stared at him for a good long while, and Makoto couldn't read what was going on in his eyes. He was still so exhausted, they were only half open, but he got lost somewhere for a very long time, before he struggled to swallow and whispered, "I never told you that."

Makoto shook his head, shoulders sagging, as his body finally caught up with the fact that Haru was actually alive and breathing, and he didn't need to stay tense and in a panic. "No. You didn't. I … I think I spoke with Maho, the night of the ceremony. She came to me in a dream. She called you Haruka."

Haru's lips sealed together and a spring of tears watered his eyes and immediately fell over his temples. Makoto watched, heart burdened by his sadness, and he frowned but that was all.

It hit him very potently in that moment, just how sharp and permanent loss was, just how much the gaping hole and hurt lingered and festered if they weren't tended to with love, with compassion, with community. For someone that was so important to be taken away, and to be left alone, to have no one — he was amazed that Haru was in his arms right now, amazed that he'd found a way to live and breathe and stay sound through all the time of missing Maho and not being able to share that burden with anyone. Makoto would not have survived even the first day without Haru …

"I'm sorry, Makoto," he cried, voice small. "I couldn't face it." He shook his head. "You're so hurt. Your family … It's not fair. The sea didn't have to take them. And I've been so … I've been so angry with it. I couldn't face it after all the pain it caused you, and I was the reason. She asked the sea to bring me someone, but I'm not worth it. I'm not —"

"Haru," Makoto called softly, shaking his head as he brushed the tears away from his face. "When I wouldn't eat, you told me that I survived, and that it wasn't a fault of mine, so I didn't need to punish myself for it. You have survived, and that's not a fault of yours either. The sea brought me to you, because you needed me … just as much as it knew I was going to need you."

It was hard to see Haru's eyes through the blur in his own, but he kept his gaze on him as decisively as he could. He tried to keep the knot out of his throat.

"I just got it," he whispered, heart quietly breaking all over again. "There's no such thing as coincidences. Everything always happens exactly as it's supposed to. The sea was always going to take my family. I think that was just their way, Haru. It was just as much for me as it was for you. I was supposed to survive. And the sea gave me to you … because it knew you would take care of me."

Haru grimaced, and Makoto just saw the light hit his eyes, saw the way that it all clicked for him too, saw the way that his chest caved in and the tears gushed down his face.

Makoto kissed his forehead. "So don't punish yourself for that either."

Haru pressed his palms to his face and cried into his hands. Makoto held him, and they sat there like that for a long time. The water moved around them, but it didn't disturb the foundation of this moment. It held them too, both of them, and it was probably for the very first time since they'd been brought together that they were in unison with their gratitude, that they could see and understand and truly appreciate the gift that they'd been given.

It took a long time for Haru to calm down, and even for Makoto to wipe his own tears away to the point that they'd stopped. And there was silence for a while, filled only with the breathing of the waves, and the cawing of seagulls. The breeze brushed past their hair.

"I love you too," Haru said, his voice quiet, but intentionally so this time.

Makoto stared down at the swelling movement in his deep blue eyes, and stroked his cheek with his thumb. "I know." He smiled softly.

"I'm sorry I was so stubborn."

Makoto kissed his forehead again. "Stop apologizing."

Haru rested a hand on his neck and drew a line up his jaw with his thumb. "Was she nice to you?"

He smiled. "Yes. She asked me to take care of you."

Haru managed a small smile himself and nodded, swallowing back the emotion. "Of course she did … I met your family," he said, even more quietly, and Makoto's heart skipped a beat. "They're exactly like you said."

His eyes blurred all over again and his throat tightened, but he still smiled. "Yeah?"

Haru nodded and brushed the tears from his cheek this time. "They were happy that I was with you. Your mom said thank you."

He let out a warbled laugh. "Of course she did."

He dipped down and they shared a kiss — a wet one, salted with tears and seawater, but it was relieving and it was happy, and they held each other's faces and hovered close, and shared in that for as long as they needed to, letting it settle warm and comforting between them. There was nothing missing.