Wallace could barely tie his necktie with his hands shaking so much.

He wasn't really a "suit and tie" sort of person, but he had to look pristine, presentable, perfect for this dinner. Everyone would be watching him, and he couldn't make a fool of Sootopolis City, Megalos, or himself. He had to look perfect in front of Ren, no matter how questionable her past was. He was a (former) Coordinator; he knew how to put on a show.

But… he didn't look perfect. His nose was too broad, too flat, too different. His eyes made him look like the drug dealers they kicked out of Sootopolis City, glassy and bloodshot and unfocused. His skin was deathly pale, save for the spotting of red flush on his cheeks.

And that was just his face. His body was bony and awkward and covered in bruises and cuts and imperfections. He had next to no muscle, looking closer to an anorexic woman than a stable man. Hoenn already looked at Sootopolis as the backwaters of the region, and Wallace was doing nothing for its image like this.

At the very least, his white dress shirt and dark blue pants could hide his body, making him look tastefully skinny rather than gaunt and emaciated. Foundation would hide the circles under his eyes. Sure, makeup was too feminine, and Wallace couldn't be feminine, but it couldn't be so bad if it was making him look like a more presentable man.

He had barely been able to get himself out of bed by three in the afternoon, and even then he had been exhausted. Nicole had been concerned, but Wallace had chalked up his sleeping habits to studying for an upcoming test—a test in a class he was failing, as he forgot to tell her. He had caffeine pills back in his dorm room, but inhaling an Awakening would work just fine to keep him from collapsing from exhaustion, and he had a few appetite suppressants in his travel bag to stave off the hunger pangs. He wasn't hungry. He was just a little nervous.

But he still needed to straighten the creases and folds of his shirt. He still needed to arrive on time. Most of all, he still really, really needed to stop his spinning thoughts, his racing heart, his shaking hands. So many things were on his mind: college, the Gym, his grades, his duties, the stories and songs he couldn't remember, Megalos, his appearance, too much too much too much.

He thought about purging his fears. He thought about loosening up by sneaking up some wine from the cabinet downstairs. He thought about—

"Uncle Wall?"

Lisia had opened the door to the guest bedroom. She was holding a big box of crayons—a box Wallace had given to her for her eighth birthday. It has been her favourite thing to carry around for months.

"Are you okay, Uncle Wall?" she asked, a small smile on her face.

Wallace took a deep breath in. As he exhaled, he forced a soft smile.

"Uh… Of course I am. I'm going to a party. Parties are… fun."

Lisia smiled even wider, radiant as a rainbow.

"Do you wanna draw with me before the party?"

Wallace nodded. Maybe engaging in something he loved—art and his family—would help him calm down. Maybe it would be a better, easier alternative to self-induced vomiting or alcohol.

-

The crayons were scattered across the kitchen table, along with stacks of construction paper. Luzia picked up crayons five at a time, sometimes using all of them at once to scribble in the sky.

Nicole was boiling water over the stove as she watched the two. There were reports that tap water in Sootopolis City was contaminated, and Nicole wasn't going to take any risks. Raphael was off at work in Lilycove City, which wasn't too uncommon among Sootopolitan men. It's not like there was much work within the city.

Thinking about all of the city's issues weighed down Wallace's heart. He had to be perfect to fix things. He had to be perfect so Lisia could have a better future. He was the city's Gym Leader, the city's protector. He had to save it. He had to save it by being perfect.

Speaking of Lisia, she was looking up at Wallace with sparkling, turquoise eyes and a big, big smile.

"I like crayons, Uncle Wall!"

Wallace forced a smile. "I do too."

"I'm going to draw mommy and daddy and Vicky and Goldie and…" Lisia waved her crayon around like a wand, then pointed it across the table and towards Wallace. "...you!"

Wallace couldn't help but laugh. He looked over at Joan, who was sitting next to him. The Swanna pointed up to the clock: 6:30. Megalos needed Wallace at Juan's estate by seven. If he was late—

"Joan," Lisia said, "I wanna draw you! Hold still."

But… Lisia was so happy. Wallace didn't want to ruin that by leaving.

Joan shook her head, but Wallace said, "Joan, didn't you hear Lisia? Hold still."

Joan rolled her eyes but did as Lisia said.

Eventually, Lisia finished the drawing. It was… wow, it was good. Even Joan was impressed, and Wallace had never impressed her with his drawings.

"Lisia, that's impressive," Wallace gasped.

Lisia beamed a smile. "I want you to give it to your friend Megalos!"

…Oh.

Wallace took the drawing. After a second of hesitation and thought, he folded it and put it in his pocket.

"I'm sure he'll love it," Wallace lied through the most happy smile he could muster. Maybe Megalos would like it. Megalos had a family: a wife and two daughters. Maybe he would like a pretty piece of art from Wallace's own family. Maybe... Maybe for the first time, Megalos would smile at Wallace, say 'thank you', say he was proud of Wallace for everything he did. Maybe Megalos would finally express his love.

Megalos loved Wallace—why else did he trust him and care for him for so many years— but he… never really expressed it. Megalos punished Wallace with beatings, but he never rewarded Wallace with praise, with hugs, with anything.

"Why don't you draw too?" Lisia asked.

Wallace snapped out of his thoughts. Well, maybe Megalos would also like some art from Wallace himself.

"I suppose I have time for a quick drawing…"

For just a brief moment, Wallace managed to keep his hand from shaking as he picked up a light pink crayon—coral pink, to be exact. He knew all of the Smeargle crayon colour names by heart.

Art won't save Sootopolis. Art won't save Sootopolis.

Lisia hummed to herself as she continued drawing pictures of Water and Ice type Pokémon.

She certainly takes after her mother. Wallace tried to push back Megalos's voice… or was it his own?

Speaking of Lisia's mother, Nicole would look over at Wallace and Lisia every so often, smiling and whispering about how cute they were. Lisia giggled at Nicole's words. Wallace smiled for them. He was happy. He was happy. He was happy. He didn't even have to lie to himself anymore. He was happy. He was happy. He was—

Shit. He had made the heart shape of his Luvdisc drawing too sharp. Luckily, it was small enough that he could simply cross it out and try again. Maybe he could make the patch of pink into something later.

The phone rang. Nicole walked over to pick it up.

"Hello… Oh, hello there, Steven!"

Wallace's heart stopped. "Steven?"

"I'm sure everything is okay." Nicole beamed a smile at Wallace before returning to the call. "Yeah, Wallace is with me…"

Wallace distracted himself from his returning fear by going back to drawing.

He tried again to draw a Luvdisc. Still not perfect. He tried again. Still not perfect. He tried again. And again. And again and again and again and—

Snap.

His hand froze in place as the crayon split in two. His hand stayed still for a few seconds. Then it started shaking.

He ripped the paper apart.

"Uncle Wall?"

Wallace stood up and stormed out of the kitchen. He could hear his sister calling for him, but he ignored her.

He slammed the door behind him and stomped down the stairs.

"Wallace—"

"I'M FINE!"

His breathing was ragged, and his hands were shaking as he clutched his unkempt hair. He let them fall to his side as he realized that he was standing at the bottom of the stairs, and Nicole was standing in the doorway, staring at him with terrified eyes. Well, at least he wasn't a complete mess; he had put on his shoes for the party.

"What happened?" Nicole gasped. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong. I have that dinner to go to, and I have to leave now—"

"Wallace, you don't have to go to it. If you want to stay and talk about whatever is going on at work or—"

"I don't. I have to. Now."

Joan was standing next to Nicole. She shared Nicole's concern, and she cocked her head in confusion.

"Come on, Joan," Wallace ordered quietly. "We have to leave... I said we need to leave!"

"Wallace, what is going on?" Nicole pleaded.

Anger joined the fear in Wallace's blood. What had Steven said about him? Joan still wasn't coming. What had Winona said about him? What had everyone else said about him? What were they all saying behind his back? Were they tattling and saying he's was a fucked-up freak?!

"Joan. Now."

Joan hesitated for a moment. Eventually, she stepped past Nicole and walked over to Wallace. He climbed onto her, and with a flap of her wings, she flew off.

Wallace felt a sinking sense of guilt in his heart as Joan flew higher. He had snapped at Steven and Winona. He had snapped at Nicole. He had snapped at Joan.

"I'm sorry, Joan." He could apologize to Joan, but it was too late to apologize to Nicole. It was too late to apologize to Steven or Winona. It was too late to apologize to everyone.