"Riza?" Her father's distracted voice drifted through to her from his study. He called a second or two after the door closed behind her, as if ensuring it was who he thought it was.

What he would have done if it hadn't been Riza, she couldn't hazard a guess. No one else would walk through that door, but Riza respected his pause to reassure himself their house wasn't being broken into, she supposed.

It had managed to tear his focus from his research – always a win in her book.

Her hand lingered on the handle of the front door for longer than was necessary. She had childishly hoped he'd already gone to bed, but Riza knew that would never happen. He would be up working for hours yet. He always was.

"Hello," she greeted, calling out into the silent house. She shivered after kicking off her trainers. The cold from the floor immediately seeped through her socks.

The cool air seemed to cling to everywhere in the house.

Dutifully, she walked to the door of his study, just a few metres from the front door.

Berthold Hawkeye sat hunched over his computer, the screen reflecting brightly on his glasses in the dim room. She had told him years ago that it was too dark to work in this light, and that his posture was terrible, but he just grunted, shrugged, and continued doing things his way.

It was always his way, or no way.

Riza had long since stopped caring.

"You were at Jean's?"

"Yeah," Riza answered.

"Okay."

That was it.

Nothing more.

Nodding in acceptance, she pushed off the doorframe and entered their kitchen.

That was their conversation for the day, apparently.

After grabbing a glass of water Riza retreated to her bedroom. It was late anyway, but there was nowhere else in the house she felt safer. Or more comfortable.

Her small Shiba pup was sitting on her bed, waiting for her arrival. His head popped up at the sound of her bedroom door opening. His tail started wagging furiously as soon as he spotted her. Black Hayate's tongue lolled out happily as he hopped down from her bed and trotted over to her.

At least someone in the house was excited to see her.

"Hey, boy," she greeted, crouching to scratch him behind the ears.

Riza never liked leaving him too long, but she and Jean had given Hayate a long walk that afternoon and completely tired him out.

They'd discovered Marie was allergic to dogs, so Riza wouldn't take him anywhere near Jean's house anymore. She appeared to be fine with any dog hairs which were hidden or forgotten about on Riza's clothing, but the one time and only time she'd taken Hayate to Jean's house, Marie's eyes had puffed up like balloons and her nose ran endlessly, so she'd had to excuse herself for the evening to go to bed and take an antihistamine.

Guilt still ate away at Riza, no matter how many times Marie dismissed it with a laugh and a kind reassurance.

So, Hayate had a water and food bowl in the kitchen downstairs that her father sparingly put sustenance in – when he remembered – but Riza had bought them for her own room too. She wouldn't let her dog go hungry and kept them topped up throughout the day if she was ever at Jean's.

Riza's phone buzzed in her pocket as she straightened.

JH: God help me for tomorrow. I'm already dreading it.

She flopped down on her bed after she'd gotten changed into her pyjamas. Hayate climbed in quickly after her. Snuggling under the cover with her dog, Riza hugged him close as she opened her messages again to reply to Jean.

RH: Tell me about it. I miss my freedom already.

JH: One more year… Just gotta keep telling myself that.

RH: I'm joining that club. Counting down the days until the Christmas holidays already.

JH: Mum really enjoyed the ice cream btw. She says thanks.

Riza grinned. It stretched wide across her face and her chest warmed.

She'd arrived at the Havoc's household that morning with a present for them both – Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Marie had been too full after their stew to eat any but had obviously had some after Riza had left.

RH: Tell her it was no problem, like always.

JH: See you tomorrow for fun and games?

RH: See you tomorrow. Night Jean.

JH: Goodnight Riza.

Riza cuddled back in with Hayate and closed her eyes. Despite being underneath a cover, she still shivered.

She already missed the warmth of the Havoc household.


A loud groan announced the arrival of Jean Havoc at Riza's table in the dining hall. His plastic tray clattered loudly atop the cheap table. Her friend threw himself into the chair and promptly placed his head on the table with a heavy thump.

"Hello Jean," Riza greeted, nonplussed and without looking up from her phone.

He grunted in response.

"There, there," Riza murmured, patting his head while she continued to scroll.

"I miss summer," he pouted.

"Amen to that," another voice announced as they sat down. Glancing up, Riza smiled at Heymans Breda.

"Hey, Heymans." Riza hadn't seen him all summer. His family had a second home in Creta where his father worked half of the year, so he spent his whole summer there.

"Riza," he grinned. "How was your summer?"

"Really good," she replied. It was. She hadn't gone anywhere on holiday. Her father would never be able to tear himself away from his work for long enough and Riza would definitely not want to spend a week with him. That was hell, not a holiday. However, spending time in the sun with nothing much else to do other than catch up on reading was perfect to her. "You?"

"Creta was great. Missed you guys though," Heymans added.

"Aw, how cute!" Jean cooed mockingly, finally lifting his head from the table, but earning a swift kick in the foot from Heymans.

"Shut it, man. In fact," Heymans eyes gleamed mischievously, dropping his scowl. "I didn't miss you guys. I just missed Riza. How's that?"

"You wound me, Heymans," Jean replied, clutching at his chest dramatically.

Heymans Breda was one of the most intelligent people Riza had ever met. One of, because their other friends took on that mantle as well, but he was definitely up there at the top. Often she found herself struggling to catch up with him, no matter how much studying she did, but she always got there in the end. Heymans had ginger hair and at the age of eighteen was already able to grow a ginger beard to match, much to Jean's disappointment. He too wanted to be able to grow a beard but could only manage to grow "fluff" on his chin, as Heymans had so gleefully called it.

"Hello everyone," Vato greeted with a grin.

He was always the picture of seriousness when working, but once he started conversing with his friends, that stern look disappeared from his face and he could be just as goofy as the rest of their group. Silver hair stood atop his head, with dark shaved sides. Riza always thought Vato's hair reminded her of Jean's but was more tamed. Vato had a photographic memory and was able to remember everything he'd been taught. It frustrated people like Riza and Jean no end. Riza studied hard, but what she wouldn't give sometimes to be able to recall all the information she'd ever consumed from deep within her mind instantly.

"Hey," Kain Fuery piped up excitedly right after Vato, as he joined them.

Kain was younger than them by a year. He'd been moved ahead a year of his peers, into their year, he was so intelligent. They all loved him like a little brother. His hair was short and styled in a boyish cut, spiked naturally up at the front. Glasses perched upon his nose which always seemed to be a little too big for him.

A chorus of greetings sounded around the table and the friends fell right into catching up on what had happened over summer break.

One last person in their group sat down hurriedly next to Riza. Turning, Riza saw Rebecca Catalina already shovelling her lunch into her mouth like she was starved.

"Hello, Rebecca," Riza smiled fondly.

Rebecca groaned. "School food is shit but when you're this hungry, it tastes so good."

"Why are you eating it like you've not eaten in a week?" Jean asked his question as he peered around Riza.

"Because, Jean, I overslept this morning and didn't get a chance to eat breakfast. And I never picked anything up," she pouted. "Stupid school."

Jean chuckled beside Riza then straightened, going back to his own food.

Rebecca was loud and a chatterbox. She had an energy about her that never seemed to be sapped. Riza had known her since the start of high school and although their friendship was unlikely – their personalities were polar opposites – it blossomed beautifully. They complimented each other nicely.

Their tale was that Rebecca sat next to Riza in English on their first day and started chattering away to her as if they'd been best friends their entire lives, and they both went from there. While Riza had been bemused, but eager to make friends, she simply went with it and now the two were as thick as thieves. Almost as close as Riza and Jean.

Riza also knew that her best friend was smitten with Rebecca. Jean would never admit it to Rebecca, though. He was much too terrified to, in fear of being rejected.

Riza watched on, her heart hurting for her old friend because Rebecca didn't seem to have a clue. She was a flirt as well, and sharp with her wit and her words, but my god, she was blind. She and Jean got on like a house on fire, battling back and forth with words on a daily basis, but Rebecca thought it was just all in good fun. And it was, but Riza knew Jean wanted something more. He'd confessed to her while drunk once.

His mother had been at a spa weekend Jean had gifted for her birthday last year and they'd opened the vodka. Marie didn't mind that they drank alcohol as long as they did it in the house. They'd never spoken about it since. Riza didn't know how to bring it up and obviously Jean didn't want to talk about it, so she never bothered to. And Riza didn't want to dampen his spirits.

When he was ready, he'd come to her. That was how they worked. But Riza could see it. Jean was interested in everything Rebecca said and was always eager to help her if anything arose.

It was hard.

Rebecca was Riza's best friend too and it felt like she was caught in the crossfire of it all. Jean begged Riza not to tell a soul, and of course she wouldn't, but he was hurting about it. Riza didn't know how to help without telling Rebecca herself, but that was betraying Jean's trust.

"What are everyone's plans for the weekend?" Heymans asked his question before he took a bite of his sandwich.

"Thinking of the weekend already? It's only Monday," Riza quipped.

"Exactly," he replied. "More specifically, it's the first Monday back after summer. I already need another holiday."

"I hear ya," Jean muttered beside her.

"Oh, what about going to see a film at the cinema?" Rebecca asked excitedly. "There's a new superhero one coming out that's supposed to be really good!"

"I'm up for that," Jean replied quickly. "Anyone else?"

"Hell yeah!" Heymans replied enthusiastically. "It can be a reunion and a celebration of us surviving our first week!"

Kain and Vato were both in as well, and the rest of them turned to look at Riza expectantly.

Damn. She was supposed to be helping her father this weekend. Some work thing for him. He never bothered to let her in on the details, like always, but she was needed as an extra set of hands to help move some equipment around in his lab at the house…

But Riza remembered their conversation last night. He'd said a grand total of four words to her and that was also the first time he'd spoken to her that day too. She doubted he'd even remember that he'd asked her to help him.

A small, bad part of her wondered why she should even bother? He only spoke to her when he needed her. Never really cared for her. Never really cared for himself either, so it was rare there was food on the table for Riza every night…

"Come on, Riza," Jean urged. "It wouldn't be fun without you." His eyes peered at her earnestly, begging her to agree to it with his usual genuine, friendly desire to have her by his side, no matter what they were doing together.

"Thanks!" Rebecca cried indignantly.

"Oh, you know what I mean," Jean waved her off. He turned in his chair, coming to face her fully.

Although he may wish to progress his relationship with Rebecca, secretly, he truly did wish for her to be there with them. Jean's face was expectant, his smile easy.

"Come on," he begged her softly, his voice gentle.

"Jean's right," Kain interjected. "It can't be a big reunion for us if you're not there."

Vato nodded next to him, also looking at Riza expectantly.

"I guess so," she caved.

Jean whooped next to her. Rebecca's grin was wide, and she bounced in her chair – unexpectedly.

Even more surprising, Rebecca and Jean shared an impromptu, excited high five behind Riza's back. The connect was so loud it made her jump.

Riza would never have anticipated such a reaction to her agreement to come.

"Yes!" Rebecca cried. "I can't wait!" She pulled her phone out of her pocket and began scrolling. Riza was confused about what, but her friend soon revealed the reason for her frantic search. "Look, this guy's in it," Rebecca practically drooled.

Riza blinked at the picture. Sure, the guy was good looking –

"Who?" Jean squinted over Riza's shoulder to look at the phone.

"I don't know his name, but he looks good."

Jean snorted. "He looks ridiculous."

"How?" Rebecca demanded.

"Well, first of all, look at that hair," Jean snickered. It was a strange haircut, Riza had to admit. A real old-timey combover. "Someone has a receding hairline that they don't want people to see," he added with a laugh.

"Let me see," Heymans commanded. He too squinted at the photo. "Yeah, that's a weird haircut."

Rebecca scowled. "Like any of you would know."

"Can I see?" Kain asked politely.

Hesitantly, Rebecca passed it over. Both Kain and Vato peered down at the screen, scrutinising Rebecca's latest celebrity crush.

"The hair suits the time period," Vato commented then went back to eating his lunch.

"It looks fine," Kain replied. He always was a kind a soul. He wouldn't hurt a fly and wouldn't have a bad word to say about anyone ever.

"Thank you, Kain! Someone else with taste in this group."


"Did you already have plans for this weekend?" Jean's question was casual after they'd crossed the road outside of school. He hopped up onto the pavement, shortening his long stride to meet Riza's pace.

They were walking home from school, having survived their first day back. Barely. Riza felt so tired now she had to fight herself back into some kind of regular sleep schedule to fit school hours.

"Kind of," she admitted quietly.

Riza knew what Jean would say if she revealed they were with her father and she didn't feel like having that conversation right now. It would be something along the lines of "fuck him", and Riza was inclined to agree, but ever since the train of thought her mind had taken her on at lunch – about how little her father cared for her – she'd been feeling down all afternoon.

Riza lived this every day, but every so often it would catch up and drag her mood right down. She didn't feel like talking about it either. Even if she did tell Jean everything already, she really didn't want to get into it. She was simply too tired. Plus, she knew she'd be over it by tomorrow or the next day. She just had to push through until then.

"Sorry if I ruined them," he replied sheepishly. "But I do mean it. It would be so much more fun if you were there too."

Warmth spread across her chest. Despite not really being wanted or needed by her father, it was nice to know someone out there still enjoyed her presence and wanted her in their life. She could always count on Jean and his family for that.

"No, it's… it's okay. I can work around it."

"What was it," he enquired, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, nothing important really." Riza cringed at how bad that sounded. She hated keeping things from her best friend, but the more he unintentionally poked to try and get an answer from her, the more Riza didn't want to talk about it.

She wanted to hide in her room and hug her dog close, hiding from her thoughts about how unloved and unwanted she was by her own family.

"You can tell me," Jean stated, as if it was silly that she thought she couldn't.

Riza knew that, but she didn't want to. Not right now. The reminder of her revelation at lunch time was threatening to bring her mood down even lower.

She just wanted to forget about it.

Jean never really pushed her. Like she said, when each of them was ready, they'd come forward and talk about what was bothering them. But she knew he worried. And when Jean Havoc worried, he just wanted to understand so he could help and make someone smile or laugh again. His intentions were nothing but pure.

"Mum is cooking steak tonight if you want to come over," he stated, steering the conversation away from his enquiry. "She got extra just in case."

He'd stopped, and Riza realised they were in her street. He'd stopped at the end of the path to her door.

His offer was meant to tempt her, and Riza opened her mouth, the approval on the tip of her tongue… But something stopped her.

She loved the Havoc family. They treated her so well, better than her own father, but right now… Would she really want to go into an environment like that? Where it was a reminder of how much she lacked in her own family life?

Riza often wondered what her life would be like if her mother had never died. Would she have a life like Jean? Where there was always food on the table for her and when she came home from school she was met with smiles and not silence?

If she did go, she'd have to leave…

And sometimes that was the hardest thing to do.

"I can't tonight," she replied. "I need to make Dad's dinner." Riza averted her eyes and turned away, walking up the path.

"Riza?" Jean called after her, sounding slightly puzzled by her abrupt exist, but she couldn't explain it to him.

He was her best friend and knew her situation better than anyone but… She couldn't explain it to him in that moment. He wouldn't understand. Not really. And Riza really didn't want to get into it right now. Not when she was starting to feel so upset about it.

She just wanted to hide away.

So, like a coward, she ran.

Riza cringed at the thought of having to explain herself later but dismissed it. She'd worry about it and think of a reason later when she was more level-headed.

There wasn't a greeting as she closed the front door. Her father's office was right next to it, so he definitely heard her entering. But there was nothing.

Riza jerked the handle up to lock the door forcefully and shoved the key in the lock, turning it forcefully. Hurrying up the stairs, she slammed her bedroom door closed, letting all her emotion spill out into that slam.

Hayate jumped up from her bed in fright, whining.

Blinking at her dog, Riza came back to herself and to reality.

"Sorry boy," she whispered.

As she approached Hayate's ear flattened and he whined again. Pausing, Riza retracted her hand slightly to leave it poised above his head.

She felt embarrassed. How could she have run away like that, from Jean of all people?

He wouldn't have pushed. He would've listened and stuck up for her just like he always did.

She'd even scared her own dog in her outburst.

Riza was jerked from her thoughts by a wet nose pressing against her fingers. Hayate nuzzled at her hand then slowly pressed his head into her palm, asking to be petted.

At least someone in the house was excited to see her.

Riza loved her dog with all her heart, but for once, she'd rather it was her last remaining blood relation. Being forced to stay in this house with him was some kind of cruel torture. As soon as she was able, she was moving far away to university, where she wouldn't have to think about her father anymore.

She rose to her feet and rushed over to her bedroom window. It overlooked the front of the house where –

Jean was gone.

Her momentary plan crumbled.

Her chance to talk to him – to apologise for essentially running from him as well – was gone. No wonder he'd left to continue walking home after she'd acted like that and fled.

She'd ran from Jean of all people.

Riza had never felt more alone in that moment.


don't worry, it won't all be melodrama and awkward, teenage angst haha i have plans for some good, wholesome fun for our besties :)