U.S.S Hope

Chapter 13

Katie was all for moving into Maddie's room and the baby didn't bother her in the least. What did bother her a bit was seeing her dad with Maddie. He said he missed her mom but she had to wonder if he actually did. And he was yet to talk about Hannah. Katie couldn't wait to get home.

The one bright spot was Jose visiting with Grant. But then Grant took Katie for a walk in a garden and explained they didn't even have custody of Jose. She was angry that her dad hadn't said anything about it. Once they got back to the hospital room; Grant helped her into the bed and she turned away from Maddie's side of the room. She heard Grant talking to her dad but she ignored it all. Jose gave her a kiss goodbye and then they were gone. A few moments later, her dad put a hand on her shoulder and leaned in.

"Katie; we didn't do it to hurt you. Children's Division was going to take him away, into an unfamiliar environment. We took custody so he stayed with people who he knew and loved him. Maddie, Grant and I all thought it was best for you and him." Mike said.

"I get why. I just didn't want to be in the dark. And obviously; I don't need to be trusted with kids. Funny, I'm a pediatrician but I can't be trusted with kids." Katie remarked.

"We didn't feel you were strong enough. In a day or so; you'll be going home and you had to know beforehand. As far as you being trusted; what I said yesterday still stands. I would trust you with Tallulah. Even for a long period. What happened to Hannah was beyond your control. And I also happen to know that Hannah wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. She would want you to be happy because she was a happy person." Mike said.

"And that is why you always loved her more." Katie remarked. She knew it sounded petty and childish, but she didn't care.

"No. I loved her differently but not more than you or Lucas. Katie; she is gone. It hurts like hell but now is not the time for jealousy. It isn't going to bring her back." Mike said.

"I miss her." Katie said.

"Me too, sweetie. Me too." Mike answered. He rubbed her back for several minutes before the baby started crying. Katie could tell he was hesitating but Tallulah needed him. Once he walked away; Katie shut her eyes and let the tears fall silently. Dr. Matthews had told her not to suffer in silence, but she wasn't ready to share.

She had been told she might not be able to ever get pregnant and now couldn't even foster Jose. Her only chance to be a mom. She knew that her dad and Maddie had only taken Jose in to help her, but it still felt like a betrayal. She must have fallen asleep. Several hours later, she woke up to find Dr. Matthews talking to her dad. She thought about listening to them for awhile, but she sit up.

"Ah, you're awake. How are you feeling?" Dr. Matthews asked Katie as she walked to Katie's bed.

"I feel fine." Katie said. She immediately noticed the look between Dr. Matthews and her dad.

"You might feel fine but you aren't fine. I heard you crying, Katie." Mike said.

"Katie; it is natural to be upset about Jose, but you didn't lose him. Once you prove to the Children's Division that you are strong enough to care for Jose, they will let you have him back." Dr. Matthews told her.

"And you can take care of him. He'll just stay with Maddie and I. And for that matter; if you and Grant want to stay in the main house; that is fine. We have a guest room. Grant has been staying there since Maddie had the baby." Mike remarked.

"And I will talk to Children's Division. You are much stronger than you think." Dr. Matthews said.

"I don't feel strong." Katie remarked.

"Katie; would it help you to talk about Hannah? I know I've put you off because I don't want to here, but…if you need to, we can." Mike asked.

"You didn't want to be in public when it was discussed?" Dr. Matthews asked.

"No. It still hurts. I was being selfish. In order for Katie to heal, we need to talk about Hannah. I was…dreading it, honestly." Mike said.

"Katie; Hannah was your sister, but she was your dad's daughter. The grief isn't quite the same. The depth…its all different. He didn't get to say goodbye. I agree that you have to get this off your chest, but I also have to ask that you keep in mind that he is also in pain. I can be there, just listening if the two of you would like and I can insure that the area is private." Dr. Matthews said.

"And I can home afterwards?" Katie asked.

"Once your OB-GYN clears you and I am comfortable with you feeling strong enough, then yes." Dr. Matthews answered.

"It should coincide well with Maddie and Tallulah going home as well." Mike remarked.

"I will get a room set up for tomorrow. You both should get some rest tonight. It will be exhausting." Dr. Matthews said.

"Understood." Mike answered. Dr. Matthews left and Katie laid back down; knowing the next day would be much harder. Much needed but much harder.